Review of Relationships

Today was a fairly reflective day. After doing a milk run for the cafe project, I was interviewed by a reporter on site about the motivations behind my "career decisions." Interestingly enough, the reporter said she would not be querying me on my "existential crises," - I wasn't aware that I had existential crises, as my existence seems rather ho-hum to me.

My current job is pursued mostly for its educational potential, as there is limited remuneration of any other sort at the moment. It was initially a viable investment opportunity, but that has not been the case for several months now. It has been almost eight months since I began full-time assignment to this project, most of which have been spent killing time while waiting for other parties to make their decisions.

My social life ex-job during this period has been otherwise mostly confined to computer gaming rituals on weekends, where I socialise with folks whom otherwise have not much in terms of common interest with myself. I have, with a similarly lackadaisical attitude, pursued a brief study of Internet dating applications - with scattered results. My financial position is not highly liquid at this point, and that has shaped my schedule accordingly.

Throughout this period, I have not successfully curated any deeply personal relationships with colleagues or acquaintances. My last lover and close friend stopped enjoying my company about a year ago, and since then I have spent most of my time on my own. I suppose that when one's social relationships are of a low priority, one can only afford to keep few "close," friends. I have usually reserved close friendships for lovers, and therefore whenever I lose a lover, I typically lose my "only friend."

While it bothers me deeply within the realm of social considerations, as a whole the realm of social considerations does not bother me deeply. For example, I do not maintain deeply personal relationships with my parents or siblings - for example, my mother happened to drop by my place of work during the interview this morning, and I welcomed her to look around, but also told her that I was busy and would not be free to speak with her at this time.

Nevertheless, in the interest of being social, all this is good to think about every now and again.


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