Let's get to the core of the issues:
1. Pacifists, and I'll rudely dump feminists into a subset of pacifism, like to think that we owe it to each other to be nice. That's a normative stance... it's an opinion on a "should".
2. Sometimes that "should" includes, "you should put extra effort into certain behaviour, because you don't want to scare people." And I totally empathise with that.
3. Sometimes the "should" is extended to, "if you don't abide by 2. then you are are equivalently evil to those who are first-causes of the problem," to which my reaction is simply ...
4. ... well if you're going to bring yourself THAT low, I'm going to wish you fear and trembling, and if you pepper spray me for merely wishing that upon you, I will see you in court.
5. Tough luck bitches, assholes, and friends... the right to fearlessness comes from within.
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