Me: "Have you heard the latest? Don't give me that look... Team6 took a casualty: the (talent) just quit."
"Well, this is what we get for having a team full of women."
Me: "Nah, it's just as nutty when it's all run by guys."
"That's what the cook said. Well, you're good with women. Figure it out."
Me: "Perhaps you overestimate my interest in women. If I was really good with women, wouldn't I have a girlfriend, or a wife? Perhaps, I don't care for them as much as you suspect I do... you know, masturbation is very easy, and sex is just masturbation with other people..."
"Women may not say what they care about, but they care about it anyway. Because, we are women."
Me: "People will do what they are prone to, regardless of gender. Some people will let it out, some will bottle it up, and it will affect their work in visible ways, and their relationships with coworkers. Same, same."
"Sometimes people want to feel appreciated by their organisation."
Me: "I tell people, if you're looking for hugs and kisses, get a girlfriend. Right? This isn't love, this is business. You don't need to like it - you just need to get it done, and take the money. I just had to advise someone to leave their emotions at home because they disrupting meetings with jokes."
"One can always do something, to negotiate. I don't think she wants to leave, she just feels imbalanced."
Me: "Clearly we don't have a lot of money right now, but that's why everyone's being pointed back to the cashflow model as the solution to their demands... if you figure something out there, it's: at least, feasible. I've spoonfed the entire spreadsheet for this... it's red... you just have to play sudoku with it and it turns green. Look at each payment on each date and ask why it's there, then move things around - get it right and you've answered your own questions about when you can get a larger budget for manpower."
"Things would be better if they had been fixed earlier. If only."
Me: "Well you're the sixth attempt, in nine months, so it's not like we've been sitting on our asses doing nothing. Such is life. And such is business, it is gamble - you can put money on the table, but be ready for it to go away. When you're out of resources, it is over. It is a pity, but that's the nature of things. Natural selection - hey, have you seen the "tryouts" scene from the Dark Knight? It sums this up brilliantly, in hyperbole."
"Let's see it."
Me: "I hope the internship's given you good exposure."
"This is worse than a Hokkien drama."