2017-01-22 at

Yawn 20

Wow, there's now a SSF within walking distance.

/

Over five months I saw a restaurant seller drop his price to 33% of his initial ask. Stuff happens, I guess.

/

Current cost of car ownership: 37.83 sen/km driven

/

Back to the fires. 10:30am. One meeting down, two cheques to be rewritten, looks like a slow week heading into chink New Year, and one late interviewee. Off to do banking and buy ceiling board.

/

Interviewer: So we need to get this straight - a lot of people want to change the world, but they can't say why apart from the fact that they want to. We will only change the world because we think we can profit from doing so. That's the kind of operation we run here, whereas the profit may or may not be fiscal.

/

TIL pricing for plaster wall materials.

/

In the begining, there was the end, and the end was good.

/

Betsy DeVos' confirmation: I actually agree with her performance. Professionalism demands a lot of stonewalling. Sometimes the best way to get rid of people is to just wait for them to die.

Too bad about the lack of experience.

/

Low quality of sleep attributed to insufficient blanketing. Will fix. 55 minutes to new talent assessment on the job. Fire it up. First questions of business every morning: Are we dead yet? Why not? What next? What will inconvenience us today?

/

< 3 INTJ at table **. Unless it's a P...

/
Weak. Time to act, regardless. One can only tolerate so much mewling from outside, and from within. And I still don't have a strong intuition about the quality of bedclothes, though, a couple of hours reading on the difference between down and feathers et cetera should fix that in the future.
/
(one) company started to quote countries of origin and health and safety codes for its raw fish. I want to read up on that - and I hope all local restaurants start to document their supply chain at their stores. :)
/
Dinnertime attempt to rationalise what I did today as actual work: - let the meterman in, and discussed an issue - deposited sales to the bank; updated data on bank statements - checked out the closest small-chain cafe - met a new hire's family; tea talk over what we do here - deleted some expired items from the display chiller - briefed kitchen for the fourth time, on displayed goods supply chain (expecting them to fumble, so making a mental note to micro-manage this by tomorrow) - took new hire around the hood to look at residences - took an order at the bar - mopped the toilet - coached accounting team on forensics (introduced to them the notion of wtfs-per-minute) - more orientation for new hire (may be an INFJ
/
P with potential as an internal evangelist
/
CCO) - more forensics with accounts, then a discussion on resource allocation wrt gambles on how we manage the time of junior staff (a conclusion was reached by an executive: a junior staff who already resigned may now cease to clock hours) - coaching odd-jobs guy on preferring to ask for forgiveness over permission - coaching on the replacement of ceiling boards - overall pats on the back amidst admonitions of fucking slowness - more display chiller queries - disassemble three broken chairs; assemble two whole chairs - set meeting with artist trying to break out
/
Anonymous Q: 1. Why did you not choose to open in a shopping mall? 2. Would you consider opening in a shopping mall in the next 2 years? Why? - A: 1. No option available. 2. Yes. Unqualified - please note that consideration implies an absence of commitment. - Anonymous Q: Not a logical option? - A: Not available on table. I only move where there are easy pickings.
/
Inauguration day: "It is now a very good day to get out anything we want to bury. Councillors expenses?" Day - maybe even a year or four.
/
Justice: punishment defined by utility of scaring people away from certain behaviour. I sure expect to be in prison some day, I just don't know what it'll be for yet. Lol. (comments say: be outrageous) Before a certain man became the prime minister of Malaysia, I was in a coffee shop and he sat down. I looked and saw security at a distance. But I knew I could have made a legitimate attempt on his life at that time. It was a sobering moment.
/
Ok. We have some baking issues to fix.
/

Twitter:

William Potter. William Potter. William... bitch
😘

Mon petit chou? Mon petit chou.

Ethical conundrums. INFJs/TJs are the best.

What matters is the truth, not the people who perceive it as truth or falsity.

The popular diatribe goes full circle. People are the sum of those events which constitute their ideas. Everyone is stupid. (On the relative value of discussing people, events, and ideas.)

All the stars in the universe cannot describe the windy passages within a beating heart. Tissues are our eyes
Lol

Everyone needs to get out of my head. I am fictionally me, and going straight to bed.

Across the river, across the sea, a tiny ocean, me, me, me...

Mush, brainz, mush. If you're not marching, girl, we're falling apart.

This is as close as it'll ever be. Maybe. And I expect you to hate me. We were a charmed impossibility. Pixie dust settled down. Nrr got up.

I'll pull apart your overgrown bangs, for that spot, yeah. Bang, baby, bang bangs. And our tears will torch the sheets.

My love, you seek a fabulous life. I, an ordinary one, celebrating just the fabulosity of you.
She's right, you know, I probably have no place in the world. But that's not the whole world we're talking about.

Jan 22 stop.

/

Working on stuff with interference uncalled for brings to mind a desire to smack everyone.

/

As usual. Brain not healing/growing fast enough. Pump more protein and B12 in. Try not to OD on anything. Whee.

/

Ordered a diet Coke. Dude behind the counter fills the cup from multiple fountains, and it tastes like tea. Ew.

/

I'm not sure which is funnier. Being asked to proofread a GS application cover letter, noticing that the applicant appears to be very fresh, having no real point of view since I've never worked there, or doing all this over a Filet'O'Fish at mackers..

/

Three years down. Seven to go. Then according to plan, I stop pretending to be interested in making money. Which may be when I start making money. Or is it to be interpreted: I stop trying to be more normal in appearance, in the interest of making money? Or is it that, I stop trying so hard to socially integrate myself in the interest of a normal career path? Probably, my notion of all of the above is flawed and incomplete. In any event, back to the mess. Much fixing to do! Just another day: they're all full of messes, some we've seen before, and some we haven't - but generally, nothing too exciting. As planned.

/

Hmm. The use of the word 'sacrifice' brings to mind the notion that something died. Otherwise I'd prefer to say there was a 'compromise'. Lol

/

Earmuffs on. I can hear the white noise of my nervous system. Time to fix accounts.

/

Staff: Here, try this.
Me: It's probably great work, but I didn't ask for this. It's not a priority. Where are the priority items I asked for?
-
Same shit different day, every company in the world... lol

/

Dear depressed ENTJ,
Earbuds with music: I can still hear you.
Construction-grade earmuffs: I can still hear you.
OK... earmuffs OVER earbuds with music... there we go... but my ears hurt...

/

Hello, President Pence. We've been waiting for you.

/

A colleague asks why staff are oblique in communication. She finds them rude, but I don't think rudeness is a problem except when it slows down communications (and there are probably cases when it doesn't). I generally view it as a culture shock issue - new people, new habits. We can only invest so much in behavioural transformations. Sometimes coaching works, sometimes mere carrots, or mere sticks.

/

Back to accounts - we're up to June 2016, and I hope to reach December 31 today on the current issue. Then we loop back for other issues.

/

re: "Is it true + necessary + kind?"

Will it hurt them? Probably.
For the better? Probably.
Run the script.

/

Swatting fires... swat, swat, swat... lovely weather. My favourite grey skies.

/

June2016 potato backlog resolved.
Lunch time... then July...

/

Me: I am already guessing that the new guy will piss people off because he likes to share a lot. He'll keep talking, and talking, and...
Staff: Kinda like you?
Me: Here's the difference... it seems like he's actually trying to build a connection. I just have a list of messages to transmit, and I stop when I'm done, unless the transmission is interrupted by a request for clarification.
-
I guess my management style in this organisation is to put the onus of comprehension on the subordinate. If subordinates don't complain when they don't understand something... they just pay for it later. I think that's a fast and fair potato filter... could be finer-grained, but that would take more effort. And the definition of economics is what to do with limited effort. LOL

/

Staff: Everything boils down to respect.
Me: Here we'll define respect by explicit protocol; no hidden assumptions about country, humanity, or family values. :)

/

Economics of aggressive filters for dating:
.
Q: Why do you keep your profile impersonal?
A: Because it is exactly what I am. If you don't find it personal, then you are just different from me. :) Which is why it is an effective profile. It keeps people who are not like me away. Saves time. Of course... if I had more money and time to spend on dates, I could make it more appealing to people who were more different from me, then spend the money and time on bridging the difference.

/

We've caught up with 20Aug2016 - time for a break.

/

Bloody amateurs just don't get it. The only real insurance is to stop caring. Thereafter all pursuits are easy, albeit boring, regardless of outcome.

/

Here we go. What if the Trump administration's singular impact on the next century is to galvanise the "leaders of the free world" to rid themselves of a dependence on America? What does a NATO with the USA look like? Stretching it: what does a CN+NATO vs RU+US world feel like? Where will sub-Saharan states sit, the ME and LA? So many questions. So little time to read up on them.

/

From a conversation with another cafe operator:
-
"The one thing I'm getting better at is not caring about the deal. I used to wake up every morning and wonder if I should turn off the shop. Now I tend to say, watch a movie first, and decide to think about it later."
-
"The cultural divide here is so vast that most of the staff probably regard me as some sort of wonky artist. And that's fine. But I really just want to make money - we just disagree on what works."
-
"I don't find most of what goes on here shocking. There was this one staff that fell in love and dropped the ball, that was unexpected. Otherwise I even have to pretend to get angry sometimes, as a motivator to get people to get things done. I don't expect anything from most of them. I assume they're all going to be (as they say, this is language they used first) potatoes."
Staff: "Are you sure you're not really angry?"
"No, but you are. That's why you're a good middle manager."

/

Collected two INFJs in a week. WTF is this, the gamemasters putting it on easy mode? Lol

/

Sometimes... I wish I had some more rudimentary respect for humanity. It would make business easier. I wouldn't have to pretend to myself that what I spend my time on... is valuable... hehe

/

Profoundly bored. How different is it from simple boredom? Hardly.

/

La La Land: Industry awards circle jerk... but I've had one of those separations before, about a year ago, and it's absolutely great to be with people who love their work. Even when work takes you away from each other. Of course, it's so much more pleasant when conversations persist across space, rather than merely die as a result of distance.

/

GOOGLE CONTACTS UX FINALLY UPDATED OMG

/

It just occurred to me that when I slow down to speak to people in general... I've often (er, more than 50% of the time) forgotten what I wanted to say by the time I finish explaining things.

/

I should upstream to Twitch at work. OMG.
There's a non-stop commentary on accounting forensics and tactical talent management. Lol

/

So every CNY, my family is told that I'm not sure if I can visit because work in more important - and volatile. I usually decide an hour before reunion. This year my family is coming to visit me at lunch on Saturday - I'm shameless. The anglophones find it cute - the traditionalists are horrified. Lunch at Dave's Deli. Lol.

Conclusion: they went to DD, I didn't bother to attend


/

Enough convalescence. Back to work.

/

On some blog post whinings: The common citizen may or may not be so coddled, that their tolerance for hardship is a tiny fraction of what the species has been able to afford.

/

On the US department of state's management exodus: TLDR: Trump wins again. America loses. This is on the news everywhere. Do not mistake it for a successful rebellion. It is instead a successful purging of those culturally unfit for the ongoing leadership. (This happens in my office every so often, and it falls under the broad scope of "counselling out," in talent management.)

/

La La Land has a great line about the art/hipster industry, "people love what others are passionate about." My typical reaction was, "ew." People find it surprising that I don't have any special love for food, or coffee. Choosing to go into business is a singular act of violence - we're here to manipulate the market for profit. Those misaligned, will gradually fall away... hey, say, can we get people to be passionate about economics? That is why our brand is about work, maybe.

/

Sentience, privilege, active O2, visibility under 50m from the sound of it

Agents in field expected: 6-8
Probability that all are fully on spec: <1%
Probability that all are 80% on spec: 5%
Probability that half are 80% on spec: 30%
P: 100% are 50% on spec: 50%
P: 50% are 50% on spec: 70%

So yeah, that's the kind of surface I wake up to daily. We just have 1-2 extra newbies today, but that doesn't affect the risk landscape much in my mind (they appear to be fairly stable for various reasons).

Back to work...

/

Not healing fast enough. Perhaps more food, and fewer aspirations will do the trick. Always she chides me to look to the stars, but I like studying gutters. That just means I lose her. Ho hum, a pedestrian concern.

/

Chink gunpowder toys waking me up before I'm rested. Sigh. Probably a good time to head back to the office anyway.

/

Our stars and our gutters are made of the same stuff. Arguably my darling, the gutters are more advanced. As you chase the stars, you're just saying that you want to be pretty. We do not yet understand the fundamentals of matter in any event - we all understand what it is to be pretty. Ah, for different ambitions... they make commerce an interesting place to be.

/

"Itu burung sudah jadi orang! HAHAHA" [TV noises.]

Well, that's the soundscape in this room where I have confined myself for rest. This may not be very effective. Brains are interesting subjects. In order to control a brain, you have to unravel its habits, tendencies, and weaknesses. A brain may attempt to enter a state of panic, intuiting danger, verbally conceptualised as futility, weakness, disgust, or nausea... and a mechanism for sedating such a phenomenon (without sedating the other, more useful, phenomena), is to tell oneself, "these are risks we wrote off many months ago, many years ago to a certain degree." I am not yet rested, but the challenges in this room present fodder for morning calisthenics not of the musculoskeletal variety, but of the social civil variety... now, I am remembering the world that does not trouble me in sleep, I remember its patterns of strange people watching strange TV, and having strange conversations about it. This is the gutter she abhorred. This, the gutter I embrace. It is the nature of the work I took upon myself.

Forget everything, Mia, you must acquire your ideals.

/

Not ready for work. But it is high time for work.

/

Twitter:



I still believe in you.

You're my impossible mystery.

I've loved so many, still, none as much as you. Perhaps if we meet and you finally push me away. Is that always necessary

[On reflection, probably more accurately: none made me feel as loved, as you. Regardless of any lovers' actual feelings, or intentions.]

La La Land eh? 1.5 years past that park bench already. :) I hope she's well.

I ain't smart and hungry enough to be Musk. Just call me Justine. Hyuk hyuk.

The only things you need to know about me, 🌎
1. I'm dealing with grief
2. I can't get close to you
3. I'm afraid

Is there then a point to any of this?

Grieving again. Just not as myself.

I suppose it's always felt like I was holding you back. And every time we touch, you need to be free. So I may assume that I am a curse.

The trick, is not minding that it hurts. The trick, maybe, is not minding that I don't know what to think.

#nieto!!


/


No comments :

Post a Comment