2017-08-12

Revising Established Definitions

Frankly I'd prefer to have a frictionless fulfilling monogamous relationship if it means we can keep things hot, and get loads of work-work done meanwhile. I once did a budget and figured that the ideal time per week spent maintaining intimate relationships would be something like 2-3%.

But in practice, haha. It's all over.

4.2 hours of 168, excluding stuff you can do together that's also going to happen if you're alone like eating and sleeping.
4.2 hours of sex and futzing around intellectual battles is about all I think is worth it, per week. Maybe more sex. But haha... can that go into the physical conditioning budget?
I really want a dramaless co-pilot.
I think.

I take it back. Co-pilot imagery invokes the notion of something larger than the sum of two selves, a common core project. I don't want a marriage like that - it would be over-specialised. We should have different interests, and only use each other for rest and recreation.

Context: I graduated in 2005, did a few proper jobs in think tanks, banks, etc. Then worked freelance with small/new/startup companies 2008-present. Always wanted to do "grad-school" as self-funded auto-didacticism, at home... managed to nail down a lot of that in 2012, most of the year. But the budget sketch was like in 2008... also when I did my first job as a bartender on Changkat.

Back to relationships - I think the concept of polyamory accurately describes how I love people. I'm usually quite rational about how I allocate resources, but within time-boxed allocations... I allow myself to be quite whimsical. So the boxing kinda prevents any obsessions from developing (so far) and the whimsicality is not particularly "ride or die"-esque, which is how one of my married friends puts her view on her relationship with her husband.

The result is that I "love" easily, too easily for most people. I don't have to be in a relationship with various people... but just meeting someone is usually enough for me to imprint on them enough that I think of them in the set of people I love.

Relationships: well those are formal agreements. 

Marriage: legal agreement. Nor necessarily congenial either... I think I'm a bit cold about drawing the lines that way.

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