2017-11-07 at

Hello. I'm Creepy.

Sensitive topic: sexual harassment (or just being socially offensive). If I'm accused of it, I like to take into consideration the point of view of the accuser, so that I can understand why I'm guilty of it from their point of view. I don't think it's reasonable to deny guilt of specific actions - but I do think it's reasonable to claim ignorance of how the other party feels. OK, done with mansplaining that "I can't care about what I'm not told about, and if I caused someone to feel afraid, I suppose it's my fault that they don't want to explain things to me." Here's what happened...
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Ms. X: Hey Jerng, Y says that Z told Y, that Z's female friends A and B don't go to your cafe anymore because the boss was creeping on them.
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Jerng: Sucks to be me. I wonder which ones those might be.
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[Starts going through a mental list of CRM concerns ranging across women whose names I know, those whose names I don't know, those I didn't find attractive, those I did find attractive, those I spoke to, those who spoke back, those who had extended conversations with me, those who expressed no conversational interest, those I'd independently met on Tinder, those I offered my number to, those who suddenly stopped coming to the cafe, those who I interact with on social media, those who do not interact on social media, those I had coffee with at locations other than the office, those I met at the cafe, those I met elsewhere, those I hit on, those who hit on me, and all the intersections of the sets above... brief panic attack.]
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X: More sad that you’re losing business than women.
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Jerng: If you think it's possible, please convey to Y, to X, to victims of of creeping that I would prefer to be told directly what they prefer, so that I can avoid doing it. With apologies.
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X: I don’t know who A and B are. But well, meh. Well, I can tell Y. Will see if Y remembers to pass the message. Also, while you prefer to be told directly, most people don’t because of reasons a b c d e whatever.
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Jerng: Yes, so generally I prefer not to meet women at the office. I do not want to know your name, so that I won't remember you, and so that I can treat you like an arbitrary customer. Will write Facebook post.
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X: I shall look forward to Facebook post. 😂
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[Full disclosure on process, I am checking in on hub-individuals in my network who may have introduced me to other individuals at the cafe, and I am asking for their views on this issue. I am linking this account to the questions. Also, I don't mind being creepy. Just wanna make sure I am not illegally creepy. ]

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