2017-03-11

Carparks

I somewhat almost don't really believe that this view exists. The mall has been here for 22 years, and I've been about the area for almost that long. Six hours after rain, and an hour to midnight, the shallow puddles dampen out feet and shoes and slippers. Cool air and shadows chase us around our walks by the walls. A lone guard slouches over the rail at one end - he can't see us if we walk around the roof. Water tanks, rails, surrounding towers, houses and green things below, dark in the night, sleeping rows of birds on pipes, our shadows play on the wall of the floor below...floors, and floors of terraced carparks, below. It was never this good in this town. Or was it? Am I lost in you, or is it really something special? Then duty calls, and we take my staff to work.

Yawn 23

March 11 start

There's nothing I despise more than a human being looking for a leader.

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Enforced rest. Check.
Enforced feeding. Check.
Enforced exercise. Check.
Enforced breeding. Hold up a second...

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Can anyone recommend a realestate agent to help sell a small flat in Kajang? Need end-to-end service with lawyers also. Raising cash for my day-to-day business.
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Personal referral with successful past experience required. When I bought the place, it was a horrible agent and lawyer combo. It took two years to purchase, and it was nearly three years past the SPA date by the time all the paperwork got done. Good if you think of it as a way to kill time during the RPGT penalty period, otherwise just a collosal waste of time and money.

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I am starting to get bored of being sick.

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No staff to delegate work. No money to hire. No health to do work. Bored. Try again.

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Diapers. Nope, didn't breed. Only bred bacteria. I, am sick. To the office...

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Hey, guess what... we used to have an all female middle management layer. Didn't work. But I'm now short of one FOH leader for an all-black middle-management layer at the end of April...

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Diapers dry. That means gut is healing. That means, rest is postponed, and we're back in the office for a bit.

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Reduced:
"One thing I learnt from all this: diapers are cheap. Lol. Like 1.5myr a piece."
/"Wtffffff.... SMH. How are you even possible...? How?"
"[I have no shame - GIF] Whenever my gut repairs itself.
/"You indeed have NO SHAME! ERMAHGAWD! HOW"
"Let nothing hinder work. Or well, one tries."
/"Clearly."
"I really am a weirdo. Diaper visibility : tucked down into themselves, effective none above jeans. Should have bothered earlier to avoid scarring the audience. Also. Do you realise that I intentionally filter less with you as time progresses? It is part of evaluating compatibility."
/"In general, what are the main things you filter?"
"Filter: sickness, death, poverty, vulgarity, dissatisfaction"
/"Vulgarity as in? Dissastifaction with?"
"Vulgarity is the opposite of? Dissatisfaction with anything. No one needs more whiners. I told childhood ISTJ/INFJ friend I'm seeing someone who isn't scared off by my speech patterns. Mentioning it since you wanted to know how I describe you. In this context, she is not a fan of my speech. She's one of those who can't read me. So limited opportunities for empathy. I believe she only comes close because we have had emotional bonds as younger friends."

March 11 end

March 21 start

Social life. Haha. What women want, is not what they think they will get. Engagement tells all.

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I have decided that chairman is an illfitting title for me in any organisation. I should be the chairboy.

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#YouBeenWorkingTooLongWithCoffeeWhen
"Oh wow, this scotch is really fruity."
"It's one of the smokiest peatiest Islay malts, actually."

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Fast forward 2055. After decades of providing asylum to the world's questionable cases for amnesty, Canada ascends as the HK of NA.

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Honcho == 班長 ?!?!

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1/ Politics of identity. Be different but not too different. Live in fear of exclusion, and persecution.

2/ Eat McDonalds, nasi lemak, and drive a Toyota (maybe a Proton). Repeat ad hominem.

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I imagine a time when you are neither here nor near, and I wonder if we will be able to speak.

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I dream of a world where each human realises its triviality and stares mercilessly into the darkness of inner and outer spaces.

Nah, I just find that most people overcomplicate their reaction to existence.

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So in a discussion about a child, we were discussing her behaviour. Some found it mentally ill, some found it fairly sane.
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Event (a): She ignores another kid who wants to play with her. Kid offers her a toy after repeated badgering. She cuts it apart, and tells the other kid, I do not want to play with you. Other kid cries and fucks off.
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Event (b): Yet another kid wants to play with her. She ignores him, until she needs a favour, then agrees to play with him for a day. Her close friend wants to join and the kid who gave the favour disagrees, and is abusive to the close friend. She addresses her close friend, plays with the favour giver, and shoves him down a slide (not off the slide).
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Advice was sought because she has encountered communication issues in adult life. Civility is an irrational preference. Incivility is likewise frowned upon, but it is equally and oppositely irrational. I would do it. I would date her. Haha. If the boy had broken his arm, she would have learnt a lesson about self-preservation. She would both know what she can do, and what she will be punished for by society. Definitely not mental illness. I would have taught my child to end fights/annoying people like this. But just imho. She probably needs to signal more.
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If communication issues become dibilitating, then mental illness would be an adequate diagnosis. Otherwise it is just a matter of learning to fit in with cows who won't leave you alone when you ignore them. It may be heartbreaking, but haven't we all seen that?

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People ask why I say, "my only social life is on Facebook," when I work in a cafe with forty colleagues. Well, as it turns out, I can't discuss abstract algebra, or international political economy, or speech synthesis, or metaphysics, or art history, or music history, or software development, or economics, or the fundamental information structures of consciousness... or even cooking, or business administration, in any non-trivial degree with my colleagues 97% of the time. 99.5% if you exclude cooking and business administration, probably. It's a job. I don't expect to find friends here... only a way to make a living, or a set of learnings that accompany the failure to do so. Hehe. The way forward is to keep working at it. None of this is strange to me. It is tedious, yes, but that is what I have expected of life since I was raised on tedium. Onward... another day, we can try again.

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UPDATE: We're still in deeeessperate need of staff to run the business. Quantitative, verbal, and process management skills are in short supply! Learn how to navigate the legal and economic landscape of running a cafe in Malaysia - learn how to keep accounts, read laws, fulfil compliance, manage supply chains and marketing funnels, and run a team of 30-40 staff. Sign up with us for a minimum of six months!

PREVIOUSLY: Sign up for our March recruitment cycle. Roles negotiable. Cold, heartless, talent required. Passion optional.

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Whiskey, house, escort, and artisanally crafted public relations copy.

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#blameTheAcoustics
"We agree that our staff has antagonised your party. We are sorry. We also believe that our staff may have unintentionally antagonised your party. It is a fact that spoken conversations in this small cafe can be heard from one end to the other - unfortunately our staff was not fully aware of this fact at that moment, resulting in the inappropriate behaviour. All staff have just been reminded to carry out analyses and discussions about customers, out of earshot of customers. We will repeat our reminders to staff about the acoustics of the cafe, in the hope that such errors do not recur. Again, we are sorry for any staff stupidity on acoustic matters. Please accept our sincerest apologies. We should lower our voices when discussing sensitive matters."

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Enforced feeding. Hoping for 12 productive hours today. 8 expected.

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"XYZ is late."
"I'm sorry."
"Doesn't help me much - let me know when you get better at life. LOL."

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Live near work. Live near love. Proper trash separation. Proper laundry. Proper food. Proper storage. All the things I give up for the things I love. Lol. Still working towards that 2.5% long-term average time allocation for love and sex. Work first. Forever.

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Upon analysis it appears that we managed to dip below a zero cash position without anyone noticing. Happy happy joy joy. Must work harder to compensate for organisational deficiencies.

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So the troll doesn't like being hit on. Mmkay. Errbady hit on the troll...

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Troubleshooting the finance function - daily elementary routines are failing. Much to do. If we don't get finance into shape, marketing is probably fucked. All I have to offer at this point, is the most stable operation we have managed for a year :P

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Enforced rest. More work tomorrow.

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Uppp. Had the good fortune of a power nap. Lots to do. Hope to see my social worker by noon. Lol

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The practice of zero-ing my imagination results in very little dreaming - this appears to be bad for social work, such as commerce. I must think about others, so that I daydream/ lucid dream/ dream about them... so that in states of rest, I may be stimulated to end rest in order to engage these others.

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"This is my first day on the job. I'm not ready to report on a solution."
"The purpose of a report is to report on the status of a solution."
"I can't do it on the first day."
"Sure you can. It can be just a sentence long."
"But the solution doesn't exist yet."
"What is the solution for?"
"I'm not sure."
"So for your first report, write, "We do not know the problems, which require solutions." If you don't write this down on the first day, you won't know if you've progressed by the second day..."

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Dinner, then continued arithmetic attempts to avoid armageddon.

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Baba yaga! Form of... GST clerk.

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There comes a time in every intelligent person's life, when she must look upon herself, and consider what she has become. If she is satisfied with it, she will persist, and if she is not, she will choose not to continue. I am, satisfied, for the most part. I am at least that much of an asshole, come what may. :) But I am never sure about those around me.

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Comply, impress, quit, or be fired. Pick one.

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Er, there's a very peachy Tanzania on brew right now, but we only have another half bag or so left. Get it quick. Order as espresso. Unless you like faintly peachy milk drinks.

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Well, that was both an unusually long and an unusually interesting day. I was reminded of the great efficiency of working with people who are adept at pausing high level conversations in order to discuss low level linguistic components of speech. I was also reminded that I like making decisions based on substantial information about a subject, and not without. Also, I was reminded that some people are not fully comfortable with their public lives. In any event, I wonder if I can get a doctorate in Humans As Information Systems, and become known as a Dr. of HAIS.

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Making a point to be thoughtful in bed. Getting up soon to peruse paperwork​ for realtor. Not sure if I am more worried about my business project, or about liquidating a personal investment in realestate.

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Does anyone want to join a short trip in my Kancil with a realtor and her boyfriend, to Sungai Long? We are leaving Damansara Jaya 1:30pm, USJ19 2:00PM... returning ASAP after a drive to Sungai Long.

I am exploring the option of selling or refinancing a flat, on order to remove the financial burden of myself from my business project. As I explained recently in an email to partners, I have not lived there for 3-4 years, and have instead rented single rooms near my jobs. As I am currently living from paycheque to paycheque, it is untenable to stop the business from paying me a fee unless a replacement manager can be found. So in order to be able to work free of charge, for a time, I must raise money for myself by liquidating that flat. :)

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Major announcement in a week. Now I have to go write a speech. Hmph

Draft 2.1:

Greetings. My name is Jerng, and most of you know me as the managing presence of the Sudo Brew cafe. I regret to announce that Sudo Brew has fallen. It falls upon me to take full responsibility for the consequences of our actions. I apologise.

[Apologetic bow.]

In order of engagement, I must commend a few parties for their contribution to this enterprise. First of all the capitalists who took the risk of burning all this money upon themselves, second the staff who put in time and effort to facilitate the services we provide, third the customers who have made this project viable for the months past.

Malaysia has many restaurants. Some aspire primarily to achieve moral superiority, artisanal authenticity, fame, a legacy, great food, excellent service... Sudo Brew has primarily aspired to none of these. Our primary value proposition has to provide 24-hour convenience to the community.

And now, we will fail. On the first day of April, 2017, Sudo Brew shall cease to operate, from 4am to 10am, daily. This marks the first closure of our establishment since 4 December 2015. The reasons for this are simple, in the past, the quality of our operations has not been consistent enough to retain the business of many customers who visited our establishment at least once. At this point in time, we believe that our team has stablised over the last eight months; alas we are also out of financial resources for the continued deployment at the pace of 24-hours-per-day.

One week ago, we released newly overhauled menu infrastructure which offers customisable orders at the convenient rate of four Ringgit per item. We call it ElastiGRUB. We have also brought back subsidies, where every twenty-five Ringgit spent on food may be accompanied by: a hand-crafted beverage, completely free of charge. We call it 'a set meal drink.' You may wonder why we are lowering prices in this time of duress. The reason is simply that we can now afford to, given improvements in our gross margins since eight months ago when subsidies were initially removed. We hope that with the reintroduction of subsidies, the value of services provided by the Sudo Brew cafe will make this establishment furthermore viable for the entertainment of our community.

And with that, we now return to work. Thank you for patronising this establishment. Remember to eat at Sudo Brew, where anything on the menu can now be added to your order for only four Ringgit per serving.

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Eating more greens has been stablising my sleep, I think. Feels like decent weather for exercise.

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I like the smell of mothballs. Someone close doesn't like the smell of mothballs. I cleaned out my entire wardrobe. All eight boxes of clothing are being phased through the laundromat in sequence. The shit I put up with. But that's business, baby.

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Redesigned GST workflows. Repiped 2016 according to new architecture. Rewrote manual. This feels like really dumb work, but it is probably pivotal given how bad we are at these things.

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"As usual - everything would be simpler if I did it myself 😉. But I'm committed to minimise that. So that means a lot of coaching, and waiting for kids to grow up."

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March 21 end

March 26 start

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Good night, babushka yaga.

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Swing low, sweet chariot, ain't no bail outs'a'comin for me. ;) Conscious again, so enforced feeding, then work, again.

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Just had a meeting with the most senior people in our organisation. And we're definitely behind schedule, as they're not able to keep up. So we expect failure, with the new menu launch tomorrow, but I won't provide options... given that it is eight months late. :) Such, is life, keep moving forward. Or die standing. Hahaha.

As with any violent changes to an organisation, I expect as usual that a % of the staff will quit. The success of the change will be determined by what happens among the staff that is left behind.

As to the degree of violence in change, sensitive souls will always be blown like snowflakes, whereas less sensitive ones will barely notice the changes.

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I think the Grab vs. Tinder ad campaign is woefully misguided, but the data will probably prove me wrong.

I marked all the profiles I could find, as spam (I'll swipe right on any pretty face, really). Do you not think that we are doing the brand a service? The workflow here is as bad as the MSFT barf-at-website IE TVCs.

"Hi, someone wants to fuck you... just kidding! But they did take money to help a company to cold call you for some xyz loanshark service!"

Sorreyy... hahaha...

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Time for chores. Maybe the music was cute tonight because I used the speaker I've had for 20 years.

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TIL if I'm going to do a John Wick impression, I need a John Wick moustache wig to make it less obvious that it requires a jaw hang.

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Wondering about the legality of a BYO cocktails joint. No liquor sold. Only drink construction services provided.

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Just spent 1-2 hours optimising SAAS procurement, and will potentially save us RM3,000/year. I need to do these things more often. Pity about the single threading.

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Staff: "My department needs more money."

Me: "Prove it."

Staff: *blank stare and silly smile*

Me: "Ok, let me show you how to prove it."

Staff: *looks at model*

Me: "So when you ask for money, you need to provide detailed reasons, so that the financial controller can review them and simply say yes/no about approval."

Staff: "So the budget is increased?"

Me: "No, the budget is the same. You are going to be over budget. On purpose."

Staff: "Ok, I am over budget."

Me: "Now go make sure that everyone who matters understands exactly why you are over budget."

#manypotatoeswerebusytoday

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Parasympathetic nervous system - Wikipedia
en.wikipedia.org
Study time! #rnr #walkinthepark

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Staff: "I don't like the menu."

Me: "I know. Aww... cryy :D We knew this before we deployed the menu."

Staff: "Customers don't like the menu."

Me: "We also knew this before deploying the menu. You are are still dissatisfied that this is being done on purpose."

Staff: "This is so that we talk to customers more?"

Me: "You don't have to, if you don't want to."

Staff: "Look, it is hard."

Me: "That's why we have prepared three layout options of the same menu."

Staff: "The majority likes this one."

Me: "Serve the majority. Serve the minority that will like the other one, and serve the other minority too." *drinks water* Ok, have fun, I'm going to bed!"

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If for no greater reason, I expect more attrition, and less sleep in the near future. I believe that the discontented will be angstier still after this menu stablises and I make the next one even more complicated. The pedagogical strategy is pretty much analogous to grades in music: a junior staff can brain and sell a dumb menu, a senior staff can brain and sell a more complex one while selecting specific sublanguages and interfaces for simpler customers. Anyone who believes that they are senior but aren't willing to embrace a higher standard of work has mistaken notions of the scope of work we must aspire to.

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Some people see a veil of cynicism around me. It appears that they perceive consciousness to be more than a veil. Each has its own opinion.

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I am watching Life. Like a more humanised version of Alien. So it is better.
But as critics observe, it brings little that is new to the genre.

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I don't like it when crimes are called terrorism, before there is reason to believe that the criminal's intent was to terrorise.

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March 26 end