Yawn : Sabbatical 2 : Quarter 13

 "Wed 1Apr2026, Sabbatical2 @3.014years ( year4; month37; week157; day1100 )

0747 : Enforced feeding, then back to a desk. 

0904 : I think today is a catch-up-on-pinned-tabs day

0924 : goog ""explain power set""

( revision for me ... reading up on lattices in order-theory, on a tangent from conflict-free replicated data-types CRDTs )a

0927 : One day I will have the time to just study math. Maybe. 

Meanwhile, for envy's sake, here's the wiki on Universal Algebra

1055 : Oh the funnest thing about AI governance discussions is getting people to talk about what ""I"" is, and how they already manage talent.

Most organisational problems are talent problems. It's incredibly stupid to discuss AI with people who can't manage people in the first place. Let alone synthetic people.

1123 : bubu is my new favourite word for ranting about the last 50 years of malaysian politics

1518 : SPM. Benda ini hanya satu muka anda.

Walaupun pencapaian tinggi, ia tidak bermaksud seterusnya anda akan berjaya dalam bidang lain.

Walaupun pencapaian rendah, ia tidak bermaksud anda tidak akan berjaya dalam bidang lain. Iya?

Apakah maksud kejayaan? Kalau duduk je dah puas dengan hidup, kan itu kejayaan yang paling ringkas?

Kan?

1610 : Studying basic kinematics : totally off my list of top-three priorities for 2026, but will venture over as convenient.

1627 : Malaysia using consultants for everything : 2+ decades after graduation, I find myself complicit in this farce. By seeking to avoid marques of admiration, I do not help the nation to solve this particular problem. However, all of these are drops in the bucket which make up our lives. We can only focus on so many things in one lifetime. Hopefully Malaysia will find smarter people who want to step up to the plate.

1633 : Time for a walk to the grocer. Taking stock of my limitations, and enjoying the ordinary passage of a day.

1818 : Not understanding the short account of the etymology of moments in physics and mathematics, led me to this text ( 1929, Walker, Studies in the history of statistical method ... ) . READING the text just felt comforting ... in the sense of reminding me that civilisation exists beyond the qualities of speech and thought which make up my daily studies of global commerce, geopolitics, and Malaysian politics. Ah well, perhaps I would have a simpler, happier life if I wasn't so much of an anthropologist.

https://archive.org/details/studiesinhistory00walk/page/34/mode/2up

2024 : I don't think about cars much in my own time - but someone on Threads is talking me up about why we should save P1 and P2. After a long chat, I am thinking ...

It's not funny. Before Malaya became a country, we were already importing rice. Instead of spending money to develop food security via agricultural productivity, we decided that we should spend money to try to make and export cars instead. After 42 years of failing to export cars in any significant volume ( one year less than I have been failing to find anything interesting to do in life ) we now still import rice, and collect tax to fund our own car production playpen. :P Ok lah, it's funny. Kesian.

2237 : An unremarkably remarkable day. 

2334 : down

Thu 2Apr2026, Sabbatical2 @3.016years ( year4; month37; week157; day1101 )

0842 : OK sleep, but short, and underpeak quality. I believe this correlates with too much time on verbal subjects and not enough time on non-verbal conscious information processing. 

0843 : I think I absolutely need to start checking my fatigue level in a more MECE way, so I don't check non-verbal processing, feel fine, then start work on verbal processing, and feel tired. Will need to think about how to approach this in a bit. 

1040 : Someone's trying to sell me land in Balik Pulau. If I was better encashed, sure, I'd ride up and setup a workshop on farm land.

1105 : I'll support a recreational alcohol ban in Malaysia, on condition that we remove all fuel subsidies, rice subsidies, sugar subsidies, food oil subsidies, ban lane splitting, and increase speed limit and cell phone driving enforcement to 100% ( current estimate, 5% ). I'll even forgo double-parking enforcement.

Make it so!

1210 : OK, let's see how much reading I can clear without getting stressed out today

1239 : shin test - mid shin soreness reduced further, but not beyond noticeable limits - will continue to rest the tissue

1334 : Meat driving our avatars, always carries amusing risks. What if we misidentify our internal processes, and switch between protocols without self-awareness? So, personal development is difficult, if unspotted. And so many organisations are run by unspotted personalities.

1357 : Well, a quarter of the year is gone. I suppose this is the day the calendar goes up

1358 : The early hours of the waking day were spent calibrating the non/verbal processing ratio : perhaps it is also the DM/CEN ratio, but that is a wild ass guess.

1507 : I am making a note to reduce empathy for the people I talk to on a daily basis. It is getting in the way of work.

1742 : Let me try a higher-order timeframe for routinising oscillation between CEN and DMN.

Say, weekly, I don't practice days off, or weekends. But I could aim to average something like 4-days/week for full verbal/CEN immersion, and 3-days/week for easing off into non-verbal/DMN processes.

Today's easing off is really just me sitting at a desk, doing less hard-reading. More focus on everything else.

1837 : 1+0.75 BW calf raises : 50x : current challenge

2048 : Apparently 20g of my super potent kimchi is enough to season a brick of instant ramen. And, baking soda is an excellent way to cut the acidity. That's like 10sen. I think this has great busines potential. lol

2321 : 我们愚上 最昧的时光

Fri 3Apr2026, Sabbatical2 @3.019years ( year4; month37; week157; day1102 )

1018 : Both 1Q26 14W26 have evaporated with scantly an effect on my memory. So I go back to read the past week's hourly log, and I remember, aha, war, geopolitics, web caching, web standards. 

I have reviewed my position on RDF, and still find that it is overly complicated, though that complexity makes it more approachable to natural language users : the subject-predicate-object 3-ary relation can be curried adequately to an ORDERED sequence of 1-ary predications. But I suppose, it is the ORDERING which makes an N>1-ary system such as RDF, an interesting design. I will think about it more, as I trudge through the OWL specification next.

Zooming out to salience in general, the imposition of a 3:4 ratio of partial:full focus on verbal/CEN exercise, in relation to sensory-non-verbal/DMN exercise, has been promising in practice over the past day. I need to monitor this more. Maybe it will end up with modulation at the daily scale, instead of weekly, but that will require further practice. Meanwhile, intermittent sets of bent-over-rows and calf-raises with the EZ-bar, seem to be sufficiently stimulating of hormonal regulators as well as hypertrophy. Also to be monitored.

Life is complicated. Work functions to organise it.

1151 : Alright ... today is more for OWL and RIF ...

1625 : Semoga anda tidak sedih, walaupun kehilangan sesiapapun, dan apa-apapun di dunia ini dan selama-lamanya. 👍🏼

I wrote this as a comment to someone who wished me the experience of loss. Then i figured I was too tired to deal with further replies so i deleted my comment. 🤣

1743 : Didn't eat enough and ran into mid-afternoon session on more neurotransmitters than macros. Ate noodles. Baked a loaf of bread. Back at the desk ...

1745 : Aiya. Tujuan saya di dunia ini memang bagai cabaran tuhan kepada orang lain. Saya memang penghasut kat negarani. Nak kerja jadi baik pun kena ambik offday sikit. Hah

1919 : Updating my notes on gut : divalent metal transporters ... Ca Zn and Mg seem to mostly have their own, whereas DMT1 is mainly for Fe etc.

2030 : Any Malaysians doing R&D on activation functions in neural networks?

Just an opening question to STEM people, to see if anyone is that far down in the stack. So far I don't get the sense that Malaysians are strongly focused on this.

Sat 4Apr2026, Sabbatical2 @3.022years ( year4; month37; week158; day1103 )

0049 : down

0900 : Not sure if inflammation from load training or lack of DMN stimulation is causing stiffness in my memory. Will observe. This is the point where a lazy approach is to just administer alcohol, but it remains an interesting area of study without. 

0928 : I find humans boring. I am only interested in AI because it is incorrectly boring for now

1112 : Eventually yes. The bigger hurdle is to for legal personhood of executives.

At some point humans will be in the loop mainly as prefects and buck-stoppers. But shortly after this is the norm, we will expect to see greater degrees of legal personhood granted to machines, and then it erodes further the need for meat.

1230 : Malaysia open-carry and vehicular-carry rules are LOOSER than some US states.

1. we allow open containers in vehicles, in fact the driver can drink, but it is only a test result range of their drunkenness which is illegal

2. we allow drinking in public

1305 : TIL rank vs dimension, in linear transformations : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rank%E2%80%93nullity_theorem

1344 : Found the best place to make videos : facing my microwave. 

1544 : Baking soda is for wok hei.

You're welcome.

Sun 5Apr2026, Sabbatical2 @3.025years ( year4; month37; week158; day1104 )

1409 : Turns out it's easy to overdose aluminium via certain baking powders. So now I have to monitor this. Sheesh

1523 : The EU and GCC are forgoing an opportunity to reshape global alliances.

1548 : Siapa yang kenal pihak ESG di Bake With Yen Wilmar, tolong minta dorang phase-out production and sale of baking powder yang ada 

[ Aluminium potassium sulfate (potassium alum) INS 522 ] 

1900 : Any Malaysians doing R&D on [ statistical divergence ], [ Riemannian manifolds ] in neural networks?

Just a follow-up question to STEM people, to see if anyone is that far down in the stack. So far I don't get the sense that Malaysians are strongly focused on this.

1909 : 1. glass recycling

2. waste to energy

3. macrostructural substitution of single-use plastics

All of these need economies of scale. But they can start small, if a local government, FT, State, or City, takes the initiative to focus on getting it right. 

Zero to one is missing. One to N is easy, later.

2034 : gradients in multivariable calculus : Catching up where I left off in college, because I had more important things to do. 

2300 : LoRA : lipstick on a pig

2305 : Oh, so QLoRa is what happens when you realise you're putting lipstick on a pig, and then you just stop buying expensive lipstick

2332 : AI Today : if you know nothing about how it works ... but want to get a good laugh on the Rube Goldberg situation of contemporary approaches, look no further than this video ( welch labs explaining deepseek's KV caching innovation ) . One day, this is going to be historically comical. Meanwhile I suppose it's simply a matter of IYKYK

Everytime they train a new frontier model, they're doing THIS to the tune of hundreds of millions of USD. That's all you need to know for now ... 

https://youtu.be/0VLAoVGf_74?si=dBA4l51HwbdRY7h8

Mon 6Apr2026, Sabbatical2 @3.027years ( year4; month37; week158; day1105 )

0223 : I guess my greens intake has been low for two weeks, as the current batch of kimchi was too sour and I reduced dosing. I had added extra sugar, about 30g, in order to create enough acid to neutralise 30g of chalk. But I guess that's too much. So I will yank it back in the next batch. Meanwhile the current batch is being topped up with more greens, and if not sufficiently salty, fish sauce. 

0305 : It was a good week for reading, but it feels like everything else suffered a little. 

1020 : Awake. Need to do bills and tax, I suppose. Also need to catch up on physiology after a day off from lifting. 

1126 : Right now I am thinking about how I still associate chocolate with the childhood training that it is an unnecessary luxury, whereas it is materially quite cheap, nutritious, and limited in glycemic risk, as long as sugar ratios are constrained. After bread and chocolate, I reflect on my present weaknesses. 

While I have removed the majority of distractions from my schedule, there are still a few which pop up from week to week. Aside from that, the general strategy of being hands-off about having no income, and subsequent tactics of ignoring the inclination to try and make money, are frequent distractions in memory. Well that is all reasonable, risk management, I suppose.

1457 : At this point we're just waiting for Trump to accede to the 25th, shrug his shoulders, show his palms, wince a wry smile, and say ""I haven't been feeling myself lately, I am going to need medical attention"". And that's how the story ends ...

1623 : Maybe my psychical training is too volatile. 2026 priorities look like this : 

1. examine hunger cues : react tactically 7-18 times a day

2. load resistance : spike adrenaline 1-12 times a day

3. engage socially : 20-80 times a day : empathise with blathering idiots, aspirants writing detailed thought pieces, and generally clueless inconvenienced people reaching out for help

4. develop conceptual knowledge : whenever possible to squeeze it in : entire stack from set theory, to logic, natural language, operating system kernels, linear algebra, web caching, and ML

I will keep drilling at it for the time being. Better to be good at something I understand, than to hang around on earth vacuously waiting to be inspired by other people.

1743 : shin pain test : further reduced, but gonna hold off on running for a bit more

1903 : Post lunch sugar crash - took a shower - and I should just swiped through my app quotas because I haven't done that in weeks. Where are those bots lol

1911 : Not sure if there are other ways to reset neurotransmitter baselines. Lying down to discharge motor neurons. Doing a repetitive task like walking to switch from CEN to DMN activation. 

2220 : Catching up on the iconic Transformer Architecture - it does what it does very well, that is to make very high-performing Chinese Rooms. That means, operations on 2nd-order data, not 1st-order data. We continue to look forward to a future which actually works on 1st-order sensory data. Otherwise this is long-term incomplete.

Tue 7Apr2026, Sabbatical2 @3.030years ( year4; month37; week158; day1106 )

0020 : Anxiety stems from an absence of preparation, so it's a memory management problem, in my case.

0033 : oh fuck, that's a DMN-underallocation after all 

0233 : China learnt economic agility from Singapore.

Singapore found economic agility as trauma relief from Malaysia.

Malaysia was cobbled together by the British as a foil against China.

All the above were once raped by the British.

So, how our fates intertwine.

1104 : A turbulent economic period. I will work on the little things in my corner of the world. 

1152 : acidity, K and Na crystals appeared balanced in today's breakfast

1159 : 20 hours till Armageddon (again ).

A friend, Alex the trader technologist, once said I occurred to them as a variant of Hunter S Thompson, but based on what I read today, I'm probably more in tune with Heinlein.

1212 : had a look at hormonal secretions involved in sexual arousal. Boys and girls, please note that the LH is a prime mover candidate for the Horny. I leave you further research.

1215 : further study indicates a sequence of luteinising hormone, to testosterone, to estrogen

1216 : then there is luteinising-hormone-releasing-hormone; And the precursor to this is called kisspeptin -__-, and upstream from that we're finally out of the endocrine bog and back at neurology 

1403 : cerebrocerebellum: on the banality of copywriting

1518 : Allow me to introduce you to this excellent service, used to generate 3D rotational views on wikipedia

 : Anatomography

1952 : twelve hours till (a) tacos (b) war crimes

2107 : Time to try and design that pluggable front-end for the environmental normalisation of server inputs.

2156 : Russian judo is maximising its leverage on Trump's dislike for the EU, even as the US harasses Russian allies, decapitating Venezuela and choking Cuba.

It is not clear that Russia worked to support Israel in decapitating a Russian trading partner's head of state, furthermore drawing the US into a protracted conflict that distracts the world from Ukraine.

But so far, the conflict has benefited Russian oil exports, and its influence continues to gnaw at the EU via the WH's support for Orban.

2256 : Had coffee with a new friend, albeit another idiot who repeatedly asks me ""what are you studying for"", requiring me to reiterate remedial education that the intrinsic value of study is economically sufficient, for the resources expended to study. Why are people so tiring? And why do I entertain this nonsense? I must be bored."

"Wed 8Apr2026, Sabbatical2 @3.033years ( year4; month37; week158; day1107 )

0012 : PC-backed CDOs are hereeeeee DROPZXX

0131 : The NYT's reporting on Epic Fury's governance portrays the Cabinet as a lame duck. It takes a certain level of kool-aid to actually trust Don Juan to call shots.

0246 : Tiring day. Shower then lit review. 

0252 : Quantum magnetometry

0337 : too much fear. not enough prep. back to work

1228 : Moderate inflammation from hypertrophy, I guess. Perhaps hypercalcemia, but I should examine this closer. Will look into broadening count of species ingested. 

2011 : This program is kinda hard. Maybe I have to make easier by tolerating fewer idiot distractions.

Thu 9Apr2026, Sabbatical2 @3.036years ( year4; month37; week158; day1108 )

1533 : I am going to try something new. We are going to put eggs in the kimchi soup. So exciting.

1951 : IDK - sometimes I'm like, super tired, and i can't even scoop rice for meal prep without spiling grains on the floor ... while holding some scatter-documented AWS usability pattern in my head ... besides recent readings of neuroanatomy, Malaysian politics, and global market conditions, while fielding philanthropic engagement with questions from not very smart people in community groups and social media. Then I wonder if I am overextended. I think it is still manageable, given the ebbs and flows of blood sugar and relevant neurotransmitters. 

2101 : The first day of this three-week sprint is going very slowly. Resilience!

Fri 10Apr2026, Sabbatical2 @3.038years ( year4; month37; week158; day1109 )

0010 : You've probably seen that IG reel on ""bagel shop's COGS is under 30%"".

Cost of Goods Sold / COGS a.k.a. Cost of Sales / COS in F&B is typically wrong. 

To the lazy / lay person : cost of materials = COGS

Technically it should include all direct costs :

- direct utilities

- direct labour

- direct marketing communications

- transaction fee

- delivery fee

- payment method fee

- packaging

- etc.

0051 : China military data leak : Which idiot architect put the whole thing under one roof? Poisoned honey pot?

0211 : Not sure which one got to me first : CSS letter-spacing under clamp(), very droppy 5G requiring a transceiver room change, or overheating from mistargeted AC set point. Altogether quite frustrating. Nevermind arguing with some local political party member, and reading AWS docs on using Docker to shift resources to localhost for testing. Or miscoordinated shoulder muscles. Given that all of this requires thinking, I am suspecting the temperature issue is most fundamental.

0245 : Time to rest. More than enough stupidity for the day / week.

1219 : Good sleep after a mediocre day. Time to try again. Sprint day 2/21.

1448 : Istilah -fobia dan -dokia di Malaysia

❌ xenofobia di malaysia

✅ xenodokia di malaysia

❌ homoofobia di malaysia

✅ homodokia di malaysia

Larat tak larat, ikut zaman je ...

1501 : Cukai Keuntungan Modal CKT ( capital gains tax CGT ) di Malaysia masih kurang progresif, iaitu, orang yang jadi kaya, tidak terpaksa membayai cukai yang lebih tinggi lagi.

Bandingkanlah dengan CKT di USA

1551 : AWS launch + 20 years : finally I have to use the [ aws CLI tool ] because I want to have localhost API Gateway emulation.

1651 : Anak PMX terbuat sibuk, sampai merugikan amanah Malaysia dengan jirannya.

1. Dasar luar negara Singapura ada punca asalnya. Dari permulaannya, Singapura berasa terancam dari jiran-jirannya, dan oleh sebab itu, sudah lama berpakat dengan negara lain yang ada berasa sama terhadap dunia luar. Kita memahami kejadian perangai ini. 

2. Lima puluh tahun kemudian, bangsa gergasi dunia mencucuk sesungutnya merata mecari cengkaman. Bangsa kerdil juga terpaksa bertawa. Setiap pihak mengambil kesempatan.

3. Pencapaian ekonomi serantau Asia Tenggara masih mentah. GDP/capita-PPP tidak tinggi lagi akibat pilihan peruntukkan tenaga setengah abad kini. Kemajuan yang paling singkat adalah melalui kerja sepakat kejiranan. Kerja mencaci nama jiran bagi merangsangkan sokongan rumahtangga amat memalukan.

Diharapkan pemimpin belia tidak lama lagi kembali kepada tujuan menambahkan kekayaan negara.

1717 : Shoutout to my fellow anthropologists who are bothering to brain entire domain-specific languages like CloudFormation, just to understand how to talk to other people.

1825 : Day 2 of 21. First phase of the day somewhat scattered. But development of understanding leads next to the adoption of AWS's SAM tools

1830 : Just figured out how to make CSS (letter-spacing) increase at higher zoom levels by locking (min/max-width to ems). 

2026 : eh, who's got a copy of that yajuj majuj ayam gepuk soliloquy? I need to share with friend

2030 : WH : OR ELSE

IR : OR ELSE

WH : 

IR :

IL : BANG !

LEO : NOPE

YO GURL : I dinae fuck nobady

2105 : iron and zinc intake at quarter dose, have had interesting intraday neurological effects

2111 : melatonin-dopamine axis still in focus

2305 : Ahmad Murad Merican says Malaysians need to study colonialism. Saya sangat setuju. Perbendaharaan anggitan kaji daya politk rakyat amat lemah. Dengan melatih diri dengan mata pelajaran kolonialisme am yang sedia ada di dunia pengajian tinggi, rakyat akan seterusnya memahami daya imperialisme kemelayuan dalam negara yang tersusun dalam hidupan seharian kita 🙂

Sat 11Apr2026, Sabbatical2 @3.041years ( year4; month37; week159; day1110 )

0039 : In the evaluation of organisms in pain, it is essential to understand : stupid is as stupid does

0046 : Ada segelintir profil di sini sangat comel dari segi pemahaman politik - marah marah marah - cam cacat akal, tapi boleh dibaiki. Tapi I sekarang tada duit ( masa ) naik baiki benda ni so ... unfortunately disengage senang kot

0329 : End day 2 of 21. Mediocre progress on tech. Usual noises on the social side of things. On the bright side, I haven't talked to this many randos per day since I was in gradeschool, perhaps.

0405 : My preferred method of dealing with angry people, defaults to never giving them what they want. This keeps them angry, hot on scope, and easy to manage, as they remain predictable, until they are too tired to persist, then reasonable discussions may follow. You may not survive, but if you do survive the outcomes are guaranteed to be favourable. This strategy is completely useless if you place a high value on survival. 

0410 : Please all of you just be minmaxxin

1231 : Hannah associated with Zus coffee discounts to shape kl traffic. It's the worst policy, asking poor to subsidise the rich. 

Ill advised. She has never spoken dumber advice in her career i think. 

Who is to blame for this?

1234 : Day 3 of 21. Attention returns to AWS SAM setup. The dowdy things I do for knowledge. But first, food. 

1349 : On Bessant hauling in bankers to discuss opsec after Mythos :

This is optics. 

- **public secret technology is generally going to be more advanced than private sector technology

- your headline here is about a **public sector official reacting to private sector disclosure

- in addition : you will be able to google and find that the capabilities of the ""new"" model are replicable by other older, smaller models

- in other words, the underlying news is also inflated in terms of material significance : a marketing concern

1413 : Back to IAM for a bit

1540 : ""Do academia outside Malaysia, then after that [ figure out how 

(a) commerce, and 

(b) Malaysia, work ]"", 

was my 2001 strategy going into college.

No newly interesting opportunities appeared, so I returned to Malaysia in 2005 with the same understanding I had left it with : it was an authoritarian, feudalistic, third-world, low-technology country. Then I got down to (a), mostly until 2023. During my 2023-2032 sabbatical, I have had more time to drill into (b). That summarises my study of the world from 2001 to 2026, so far.

1631 : Recap of OIDC flows

1658 : Slowness in technology study this year has been partly due to misprioritisation of ontology. Fixing

1703 : what would an ASEAN typographical identity look like? Review of traditional scripts from ASEAN countries. 

1808 : Somewhat dismayed that OAuth 2.0 and OIDC terminology is not delineated easily. Going to fix this.

2101 : Every day comes with new opportunities. New people, new ideas, new time to spend on old things. I look forward to meeting smarter people. But I generally do not expect it to happen. 

2200 : Casual software engineering. I have some widget on Lambda from 2020 ... coded it in the web console because SAM was too complicated to pick up. This week I am trying to circle back and normalise my comprehension. To migrate a deployed Lambda, I had to read the SAM manual on SAM-ification of the widget's code via a SAM template. Then I had to build the template into an app, so I had to figure out how executables like Docker behave under user groups. Next, the image layers with ARNs must be pulled from AWS via the AWS CLI, which requires some sort of access credentials. So I go to IAM to look at users, and reflect on the difference between IAM Identity Center and plain IAM. In order to understand how each of these interacts with the AWS CLI, I study how OIDC works, and that yanks me back into OAuth 2.0. pause.

Sun 12Apr2026, Sabbatical2 @3.044years ( year4; month37; week159; day1111 )

0120 : CEN-DMN activation ratio seems somewhat out of whack. In other terms, too much audio-video and not enough haptic stimuli. Must correct. 

In other considerations, I miss having the leisure of routine cognitive activity. In this period I am messing with all of my biochemistry, social networks, and conceptual working memory, every day, for weeks on end. 

1244 : Sprint day 4 of 21. Pessimistic, and foundationally shaky. Food. 

1341 : Need to get back into 8 to 12 hourly cycles for showers. I currently live 97+% of my week within a 20-foot square, cool and low humidity, so there is very little dirt, but ... the sensory stimulation of water, is probably a big deal for neuro stuff, which I am missing.

1416 : I settled on ""oauth wg"" as my google search key to find all of this in the future.

1500 : https://www.itu.int/itudoc/itu-t/86097.pdf

I was wondering who issues all those standards with the former LETTER DOT NUMBER

ITU : international telecommunications union - UN agency since 1949

Mon 13Apr2026, Sabbatical2 @3.047years ( year4; month37; week159; day1112 )

0101 : Economics of taking hot showers : worth the different stimulation, or not?

0203 : Finally, familiar with the concept of WebRTC data channels, SCTP, and DTLS ... I'm so late to this game

0226 : Seriously considering a manosphere podcast for no other reason than - huh, if your choice is between Tate and me, you should probably be following ... me.

0345 : AWS IAM really messed up the nominal regularity of its basic entities.

Instead of something like ...

- password

- password_id

... or even just pain old boring ...

- password

- username

... we got ...

- ""secret access key""

- ""access key id"" ( not ""secret access key id"" )

Oh well. I guess that's FOR life.

0438 : Taking a break from stuffing facts about AWS security to revise the older stuffing facts on how packets are transferred.

0506 : The EU needs to take seriously the prospect of working with the GCC to realign the gulf with Iran.

The US has endangered all these partners in the region, while strengthening Russia and the unmentionables.

Only the GCC has the political means to materially end the conflict and save lives - and meanwhile, the EU is doing no offensive work to help Ukraine tank for Europe.

- a mere student's observation

1431 : ""ganyang subsidi. selamatkan kemajuan malaysia / 2026"" has updated my annual core messaging on social media ""Malaysia is where STEM goes to die / 2025""

1448 : Due to my worldview I see ""AI-management"" discomfort as a subset of ""Talent-management"" discomfort. 

AI brings nothing new to the table. Weaker organisational leaders just never had the notion of managing smart people, in masses. 

E.g. ""not hiring juniors anymore"" is a foolish notion. ""All our juniors have 5 expert counselors and manage 5 reporting lines"" is better.

1500 : - increase granularity of dependency analysis 5x (zoom)

- increase attack surface checkpoints 500x (coverage)

- do all infosec teams even bother to do this, given AI automation, prior to wondering about ""novel"" developments and black swans?

1720 : Figuring out new software system access always feels like moving through mud in a snorkel. Johari window pane of ""not sure what remains unknown"".

Tue 14Apr2026, Sabbatical2 @3.049years ( year4; month37; week159; day1113 )

0109 : workspace tidied. time for a break and goofing off. i was just thinking back to a bloke i knew

2008, mutual friend introduction at parties

2011, did a bit of freelance work for them, did not turn into a job

2014, asked for an internship, got offered a PM role; declined

Well, I have time to catch up, on all the things I would have done, if those jobs had happened. It's going to be a long year. Might even have GitOps up by the end of it

0158 : I figure that learning how to talk to computers has had about a 20% focus in my life. At 43, that's about 8.6 years. There are so many other things to work on, but if you say ""computers"" people will assume some understanding of it because it is such a common topic. 

0239 : returned to the desk

0351 : And the good news is ... while most of AWS's UI is a mix of unnecesssarilyVerboseProse + CLISpaghetti, the NoSQL Workbench is pleasantly straightforward ( although I may just have stopped noticing how much unnecessarilyVerboseProse is involved in getting it to work )

0402 : How much do I have to pay to get WWE to host

TEAM : Trump + Bibi 

TEAM : Leo + Pezeshkian

WILDCARDS : EU + Zelensky + GCC + Putin + Xi

0701 : mostly sane progress : migrated app apparently can write sessions to the DB, but POST failed to write a resource to the DB. time for bed. but first, food

0740 : The one thing I hope all people do more, is to avoid being slowed down by the mediocrity of their peers. It is wonderful to have lovers, friends, family, countrymen, neighbours, customers, suppliers, students, teachers, staff, bosses, etc. ... but one should not allow these to define one's progress in objective terms. The issue of course is that most people have no grasp of objective reality, depending only on others to validate their opinions. 

0755 : Stay away from people who try to irritate you when you are happy. Unless, you find them amusing to fence with. It doesn't super-matter why they want to irritate you - maybe your happiness is directly causing them pain, but look, you can treat it as a trolley problem, or a price to pay to get them to go away. Either way, you should measure success based on what you can obtain from interactions with others. If everyone did this consistently, the world would be a more predictable and hence better place for everyone. 

1430 : Haiya. You know ah, all the rich people, mostly outside Africa, are reducing their population size. And, their inbred gene pool will shrink some more. But the poorest people, many of whom are in Africa, have a majority of the species's genetic diversity. Their population is growing. It is a benefit to the world. But some of the rich, inbred, fuckers, are not supportive of such things. What will you do in such a world? Stop thinking about your family and country only. Think of our planet, species, and civilisation. 

1439 : Yeah , we were behind for decades in semicon until NSS 2024. We will be behind in AI, MI, ML, neurotechnology, also, unless NAO does a parallel plan of quality. We need NAO to brain the math, and to math the neuroscience. But we don't know if anyone in NAO ""got brains or not"" 🤣😎

1448 : Let us begin the day. Laundry and food. And a shower. 

1751 : Alright, enough laundry and goofing off for a bit - to work!

1900 : Sprint day 6 of 21 : two more weeks of polishing a turd before I decide what to do with it, next. There is a bit of an art to deciding how little to do in order to avoid burnout. Crudely you just guess

2019 : TIL

:set cursorline

:set cursorcolumn

2117 : Code : Tracked a symptom down to an entire class of errors : so first a break, then a systematic review and treatment.

2126 : I have to put in a protocol step, where upon making a significant diagnosis, I need to stop work and rest, before attempting any non-urgent large management actions. 

2200 : Reduced EZ bar to 35kg @ 0.65BW. Could not manage it easily. 

2245 : Back at desk. Let's fix some bugs.

2354 : Shit, I think I got low on potassium again. Topping up now."

"Wed 15Apr2026, Sabbatical2 @3.052years ( year4; month37; week159; day1114 )

0122 : Maybe I am just trauma-struggling with the burden of working on a large ancient codebase for purely academic reasons, while there are much more fun things to do 

0328 : 1. Old age helps to dispose of unlikeable people

2. Old age also eventually disposes of your own capacity to dislike people 

3. Merely waiting is a reliable method of disposing of discomfort

4. Meanwhile, each person's hobbies help them pass time

1503 : Sprint day 7 of 21. Systematic bug fixes in progress. 

1902 : Droppy internet is so annoying 

1935 : In all things, be kind, especially to foolish people - because only foolish people are violent.

2033 : I should probably introduce a query timeout for MYSELF ... if it takes more than three seconds to find something in my head, in the middle of a desk task, it's probably a structural error in cache hierarchy.

2212 : EZ bar reduced to 30kg @ .54bw cause i suck

2245 : miserable day - normalising old one-shot implementations of messy standards ... good study

2317 : I wish I knew smarter people - and by smarter I mean both : more intellectually agile, and less existentially concerned, individuals.

Thu 16Apr2026, Sabbatical2 @3.055years ( year4; month37; week159; day1115 )

0046 : the problem with building most of your social life around philanthropy, is that these people can be quite pathetic

0258 : Ah well, good old spaghetti code clean up exercise ... a lot of poor decision decisions ... good practice.

0430 : The older one gets, the more dumb people one encounters, and the greater the pile of sorry memories accumulated, and the higher the proportion of troubling experiences to entertaining ones. That is how it is to grow old, I suppose.

0517 : this shit is exhausting. good exercise, but miserable and exhausting

0642 : Suppertime

0733 : Really depends on your definition of sentience. I haven't differentiated much between humans, other animals, and other machines in about 20 years. Super fun times, watching everyone else angst about it. Unfortunately the current tech is not optimal. That will change with time - that much is inevitable. The gradient of legal personhood will graduate, as it graduates from children to adults and the disabled. 

0737 : I guess this week's cleanup of old protoypes, never to be used again, is a great reminder to avoid building overly complex systems without first draughting the documentation map. 

0800 : Terbitan sehari lagi, di dunia yang membosankan ini. Terpulanglah saya daripada lagi kepada kerja yang meluangkan lagi meluahkan hari-harian ini. Harapan saya terhadap kecerdikan dan keinsafan rakanegara saya lebih kurang kosong walaupun adalah sekulumit lebih daripada sifar. Setiap orang wajib memilih kerja yang sepadan, walaupun menghina hidup orang lain.

0909 : AHHH CHROME finally has vertical tabs

0952 : A hot shower. Unusual extravagance when guests are not around

1637 : Breakfast was hot, so a cold shower follows.

2344 : Sprint day 7.5 of 21 : 35% : the code base from 2020 has been migrated from (cloud FaaS) to (local emulator), and stabilised. It is a huge relief. This academic achievement is of zero utility to the world.

Fri 17Apr2026, Sabbatical2 @3.058years ( year4; month37; week159; day1116 )

0229 : Finally got a set of 8k steps in. The last week has been brutally sedentary 

0500 : 0500 here. Time to make myself shower and go to bed. I wonder how much sleep I'll get today

0510 : While most of my wastes in life have been on the care of other people, I am grateful for the chance to learn new things when I have fewer babysitting distractions. 

1444 : Asking poor people to subsidise rich people is ridiculous policy. Is DAP no longer familiar with socialism? Hahahaha

1453 : til Jared Golden

1505 : So, on increased Ca Fe and Zn dosing, it appears that serotonin levels are stabler, however I don't find myself objectively more productive. Need to do an orthogonal review of calcitriol and dopamine about all this. After breakfast. Priority 1 is still physiology for the year. 

1529 : Up for the day, I guess. I taste iron. I will look into it. 

1536 : Rakyat yang tak layan [ politik dalaman negara lain ] sama je dengan member band sederhana yang tak layan karya mainstream. Buat je kerja sendiri. Asalkan ikhlas. Kan? Jangan nak bincang hal menarik minat. Itu bukan kepentingan. Kan? 

1824 : Huge chat tangent on FaaS while I wanted to read about enterprise architecture. Time for a coffee -_-

1954 : Architecture : [ actor model ] for implementing [ dependency injection ], is going to take up more resource overheads, but I need to think about this more

2204 : Sprint day 9 of 21. Taking some time do to more DMN work after a lot of CEN thrashing.

Sat 18Apr2026, Sabbatical2 @3.060years ( year4; month37; week160; day1117 )

0033 : Kaum itu macam band. Member yang dengar lagu sendiri saja lama-lama tak fasih lagu lain. Siapa yang dengar banyak lagu orang lain, karyanya yang paling hebat. Itu saja tepukan saya pada hari ini. Sekian terima kasih. 

0137 : Next academic exercise : migrate the NodeJS app off the NodeJS-lambda image, to the os-only-lambda image.

0138 : Time for a sort of lunch.

0302 : One of the more enjoyable parts of living in an authoritarian, conservative, society ... has been that through no action of my own, I have simply aged into the increasingly broad ""rights"" to be uncouth. 

1950 : Sprint day 10 of 21. I should probably take a break. The main subject's processing rate has slowed down from fatigue. Also ligaments of the left hand may have been strained from lifting. So something else must be done for a while.

2249 : Push-ups, well-received, not overly affected by digital ligament strain. I don't feel like working on the same old piece of software today, but I will see what I can research without wasting the day.

2251 : Consciousness is not always defined as a a physical entity. But the observation of an empirical set, which is attributed to consciousness, can be defined as a physical entity. Eventually the former ceases to be of importance, as the latter is indistinguishable from meat.

2325 : OK, this is some boring code, but I am going to force myself to sit down and write it. I don't know what else my time is good for anyway ...

Sun 19Apr2026, Sabbatical2 @3.063years ( year4; month37; week160; day1118 )

0348 : miiinor progress. BREAK

0545 : Near end of sprint day 10 of 21. Finally nailed the critical chain to migrate Lambda apps 

- explicitly, from the Node.js vendored runtime, to a bespoke Node.js custom runtime

- implicitly, from Node.js to other JS runtimes, and thereby off AWS entirely

All in, I suppose I am still happy I didn't bother to do this part of the technical study in 2020, otherwise I would have been bogged down by it at that time.

0645 : Here are some physics engines.

Popular language models typically [ operate on ] [ semantic relationships which don't terminate in physical models ], i.e. second-order data / Chinese rooms.

For ""safety"", if the knowledge domain is sensory or generally physical, probably best to reify the query. E.g. ""will a banana fit into a teapot?"", ""should I ask my toddler to bring me the legos?"".

Most current trends ( current stage of innovation cycle ) are about language processing - but some of you may be working in domains where the data can be physically reified.

0918 : Noooo - it depends on definitions. If consciousness is just control systems, then LLMs have that in a guessing game logic. If consciousness is sensory, then you need sensory data types, and that is sufficient. It is only if you go to some unquantified mystical definition of consciousness that you cannot reimplement it from one physics to another.

1552 : time to exit bed again. reduction of ambient noise in imagination seems correlated with increased mineral uptake of the past weeks. Ca in kim chi, K and Mg in water, Fe and Zn as pills. sprint day 11 of 21. what will the day bring?

Mon 20Apr2026, Sabbatical2 @3.066years ( year4; month37; week160; day1119 )

0229 : old hat : commented on the Lerchner paper lol

... meanwhile, it is time to feed, again

0441 : Maybe I need to rest my visual cortex more often

0513 : Markets are littered with people, who have more money than taste. And it's generally not possible to politely figure out who they are, quickly, because it may take a bit of prodding. Democracy!

1705 : Good morning, animals, the week starts anew. The last thing I saw before bed was some C library that failed to `make`, but I am encouraged that I took the babystep of actually trying to compile it. So back to work. While I do not engage deeply with the people of my country or planet, culturally, I am grateful to have participated in their games to a limited degree, while working on improvements to the whole. 

2030 : Engaging with the discipline to stop installing things on (os) and to install them on (containers) instead, then (scripting) the container as if the same things were installed on (os).

Tue 21Apr2026, Sabbatical2 @3.068years ( year4; month37; week160; day1120 )

0538 : txiki.js on al.2023?

1. fun stuff : So ... this txiki.js runtime is an 8MB binary <- from qjs-ng interpreter <- from qjs compiler tech. 

2. study : It builds on 24.04 but not older 22.02 or al.2023 ... because it looks for a fairly recent version of clib ( for some library called ada). WTV. the founder is very quick, and replies intraday to github issues. But he won't tell me how to modify the Makefile to create a static build ( no external libraries needed ). So i have taken it as a great opportunity to learn how Cmake works ... sigh

0558 : It has been 41 days since I ran. I would prefer not to have paused, but I am still unsure if my bones are too weak. I will try again shortly. 

1706 : Good morning animals. It is more appropriate to remind people that they are such these days, amidst AI anxieties. I shall seek to operationalise some hormonal cascades via a run. Then I must sit at a desk to find my place in the world. Again! 

1751 : Jabatan Lanskap Negara turns out to be under KPKT i.e. Nobita Nga

Lol. 

No wonder teresa was noisy in that area 

I wonder how much infighting is going on between these DAPoks

2056 : 8.7km 68min 7.70 pace ... shins still hurt, so won't repeat this daily yet"

"Wed 22Apr2026, Sabbatical2 @3.071years ( year4; month37; week160; day1121 )

0304 : Time for lunch. But first a quick note of learnings. I haven't understood Makefile commands yet. But I have understood the error messages from (make) sufficiently to solve the problem of compiling the target binary, and getting it to run inside (sam local). There are a few ways to get it done. But I suppose, just one is enough for now. Next I will have to try and upgrade my (toy app)'s module imports from CJS to ESM.

0321 : No one expects ... the Iranian Lego videos

0330 : Anak Malaysia ... jangan gelisah ... kemajuan memang tak boleh cepat. Bukannya dunia tak cepat ... dunia memang cepat ... hakikatnya Malaysia amat lambat nak bergerak. Pasal pembaikan politik, baik you set alarm saja ... check balik setiap 10 tahun. Sudah saya memantau 3 dekad ... perubahan memang tak cepat. Kerana Malaysia sudah lama sakit. Amat lama, amat sakit. 

0456 : I keep forgetting my stock response to complaints about patriarchy. I'm not at all opposed to accommodating vulnerability in people where it occurs. But I find it obnoxious that people view vulnerability as a necessary, or enviable, state of existence. We need to evolve beyond these fucks.

0708 : OK - brief exercises in ( git ). Google AI is now extremely quick to work with for Q&A : so much nicer than digging through SO and R-ing-TFM etc. Haha.

- ( git rebase )

- comparison of ( git reset ) --soft --mixed --hard 

- remapping a ( branch ) to ( a specific commit ) 

- ( git fsck lost-found ) to find orphans, and subsequent ( reflog ) and ( gc ) protocol 

0934 : Despite my unwillingness to end the day, it is timely to rest.

1723 : Automation is good at exhaustive search. Humans are bad. All of life is an incomplete exhaustive search operation anyway... 

1735 : 0.12% of KL males make over $150,000. It is not a lot of money in the worldscale. But it is a lot of purchasing power relative to locals. At 43 I have still not found a reason to focus on making money as a primary occupation. I am trying to focus on studies until I am 49, though I am not sure I can afford it.

https://www.threads.com/@cflieu1/post/DXZjSeAEpLs?xmt=AQF0Tl64jp3GtnKzbG-r16WxOKSDe_7YUexGp8qQU1I-R2A3ZQf1DXfOT26nco-Xd4QX9r-z&slof=1

1826 : Communism as a bogeyman is in the newscycle again. It's a legislative problem. If communism is not legalised, and if speech in general is not, then the cultural trivia will never change. Bear in mind the overarching civil law framework in every state under Enakmen Ugama Bukan Islam. This is at the core of religious civil legislation, and thus religious public culture, in Malaysia. 

2143 : Sprint day 14 of 21. It looks like I will spend a few more days on checkboxing compatibility layer alternatives. I don't feel ready for such drudgery, but I suppose, one isn't suppose to wait to feel ready for most enterprises.

Thu 23Apr2026, Sabbatical2 @3.074years ( year4; month37; week160; day1122 )

0137 : Need to write a framework, for writing frameworks.

Preframework? Protoframework?

Infraframework? Inframework?

... well, that's the result of a third, or a half, day's study and reflection.

0420 : You know what I miss about being 17? Having a nice tidy little ambition to get to college so that I could spend more time making noises with an electric guitar. 

I wasn't supposed to learn how consciousness worked, or how the academy is structured from top to bottom. But what the hell. You get a situation, you roll with it.

0424 : Much needed coffee break. Haha. 

0455 : Enjoying an artisanal pace. Shoestring budget. Homemade food. Walks out only for raw materials. Exercise in reasonably safe ways - no insurance. Dismal dating profile copy. Work in isolation - fairly visible to the public. Available media many, choice of media narrowed to a domain, myriad options within the domain. Daily questions of what has not been understood, repetitive attempts at study, acquisition of new talent. Generally what people would call grinding. Ah tis the season.

0547 : y know , nowadays ,everyone reads that as Eh Aye Jah Zi Ra

0757 : EOD. Time for eat-wash-sleep cycle.

0927 : Korang dengar cakap saya baik-baik. Masalah kekerdilan Malaysia sebahagian besarnya kerana 1,000 ahli-ahli dewan-dewan dan jentera parti bergerak sebagai jaguh puak, bandar, negeri, kaum, agama, dan tidak sebagai pereka dan penganjur satu negara yang seadanya nilai, tujuan, rancangan, dan tindakan atas jangkamasa 20, 40, 60 tahun. Bacalah saja apa yang dibebalkan pada media massa seharian kita. Isu jangka apa itu? Kemana ucap popek ini semuaaaa. ( Sebahagian lagi itu kedukaan sebangsa MY )

1803 : Hit about 70% of sleep target. Remediation later. Up for food, maybe some work. 

1936 : The only way to avoid devolving to an animal, is to not do the things plebs do, and to not observe the things plebs do, as these are write operations on memory that biomechanically raises the priority of the circuits involved. But it is impractical to forget and ignore plebs completely, as that severs all basis for cybernetics to improve the pleb. So it becomes a lifetime of overt field operations, to maintain just enough knowledge of plebs, but not too much, as that minimises the error of overall cohesion with the masses. 

1957 : Operational neuroplasticity review. I'm not getting enough sleep. This may not be the only way to improve performance, but it has a 25-year record of reliability in my soma. The nutritional variables seem like footnotes to getting 10 hours a day. 

2105 : Language has many notions of time. Time to eat, the best time of my life, the time is ten o'clock. One ruler is a variety of wobbly rocks. But another is more a matter of computation, or as some would call it, attention. While rock time is dominant in human affairs, the rate of computation time per unit of rock time, is not. Voila

2158 : Calcitriol dosing. Hopefully not fucking up the parathyroid gland. 

2343 : 13.5 hours since I fell asleep, and 6.5 hours since I got up to eat. I have not made it to a desk yet, today, only intermittent food, rest, and reading. I suppose that is what people call a bit of time off. I need to get better at balancing between charity and distractions to work. 

2349 : That being said, I am running HVAC hot today by a degree or two, so that may be part of the variation.

Fri 24Apr2026, Sabbatical2 @3.077years ( year4; month37; week160; day1123 )

0106 : Most days each week, I don't see another human, and maybe two or three days a week I do groceries or social chores for 30 to 300 minutes, where I do speak with other people. Hence, as usual, social media is social life. Over months and years, I still find that the people I spent the most time with whom I think about were folks I went to school with from 7th to 9th grade. Probably because it was a lot of being deskbound, bookoriented, and layered with social analyses. I certainly spent more years with colleagues at other stages, but the activities were not as regimented as those of middle school. So it goes.

0200 : DMN activation back in focus. Adjusted temperature down. Swiped off my app quotas. Hitting the desk.

0302 : Maybe an active trigger of the DMN is the intentional production of a summary. In the language of MapReduce, mapping is information preserving, but reduction is destructive. Maybe.

0313 : best to go for a walk, while I have the inclination. I often miss the daily step target.

0332 : Satukan tujuan Malaysia, ya 👍🏼 - is something I am going to start spamming on comment threads

0344 : Opportunity costs, and strategy. 

1999-2001 , drill STEM, avoid arts and commerce

2001-2005 , drill epistemology, avoid commerce and dating

2005-2007 , drill commerce and physiology, avoid dating and math

2007-2023 , drill commerce and software development, avoid macroeconomics, math and physiology 

2023-2032 , drill software development, math if I can manage it, macroeconomics, Malaysian cultural studies, geopolitics, physiology, avoid commerce

I wonder, if i will ever have time to make many friends. That just hasn't been opportune, yet 

1900 : Adventure to buy rice. I walked home, across and along Jalan Ipoh, with a bag of rice cradled in one arm. As I began crossing the zebra at the exit of Sentul Park on my left, a car seeking to enter from my right, drove onto the zebra crossing and paused, so I continued my walk across zebra crossing, with a palm raised in protest to the paused car. As I got to the next lane, a car exiting from my left crossed the zebra immediately in front of me, and I was forced to walk around them, where in protest I tapped my palm audibly against the body of their car. I often joke that legally or illegally, someone in this city is likely to be the death of me. Then I went home.

2002 : Android now ships generative AI music and graphics. Where are the outraged artists now?

2224 : The opportunity cost of taking the broadest possible view.

I really miss working with people and organisations. I dare say I have some aptitude, training, and experience in it. But it is not where I prefer to spend my time, given the other deficiencies in my universe.

Because I can rarely find people who are smart, I am always trying to make myself smarter. This reduces my opportunities to work with stupid people, which is a reduction of ordinary fun.

Such is life. I wonder where it will take me, every day.

2302 : Today, I was able to screencap a quote from the Constitution in Bahasa Malaysia, in showing a commentator on Facebook, where the YDPA is under mandate to follow the advice of the Cabinet. This was a delightful experience, not because I take any pleasure in correcting people ... there are too many fools out there to make this a pleasurable activity ... but because of the nature of this social work that has been enabled by my relatively recent studies of the language. I look forward to a time when none of this will be necessary ... however, judging from the state of late-stage democracies such as the US, I find it prudent to maintain zero optimism.

Sat 25Apr2026, Sabbatical2 @3.079years ( year4; month37; week161; day1124 )

0330 : Zero-trust Architecture, Aspect-oriented Architecture, Domain-driven Design : flavours of the day

0526 : I guess people care a lot more about animal authenticity in 2026.

1007 : Reminding myself to be more judgy

1122 : Seems like once a year, I go on a few walks and clear through the more interesting finance content on GS Exchanges. 

I should probably do a brief study on the size and shape of industries and subindustries on earth. This week, maybe, in addition to ongoing software architecture readings.

1939 : Awake again. Neuroplasticity remains in focus, as the main operational bottleneck. Calcitriol, minerals, and hormonal stimulus from operations are key attractors of attention for now. 

2114 : Mainly reading up on active DMN stimulation, the correlated activity of glial cells, and my own memory cleaning rituals/ habits/ practices.

2143 : DHA returns to focus.

2238 : Definitely not evacuating objects of charity as effortlessly as I should be. Need to recheck neuroplasticity, and fix deficits in agility. Hm. Good note.

2330 : renap

Sun 26Apr2026, Sabbatical2 @3.082years ( year4; month37; week161; day1125 )

0300 : Powernap following excess nutrition, positive experience. I suspect the insulin plays a role. 

0400 : Recently I see a lot of comments explaining why a student should not compete to be in the ruling class. 

Outside this group I ALSO see comments from the ruling class lackeys encouraging voters to glorify their simple lives. 

Both are symptoms of why Malaysia is proud of its mediocrity. You tend to hit what you aim for.

Please don't discourage kids from taking over the world. Otherwise they will just be workers. 

If kids are destined for mediocrity, they will find out anyway. No need to tell them to aim lower.

0733 : Palantir's share structure retains 49.9% of voting rights with 3 founders, forever.

A : thinks he's fighting the anti-christ

B : wants you to draft yourself into slavery

C : can afford 1.8 B in wire-fraud fines

The funniest thing about this is how it's completely unsurprising to people who know how this stuff works. It's not by any means a new company, nor has its founding network been obscure.

0803 : Quadrillion dollar business of verbosity : enterprise architecture

0953 : Spare a prayer for those who fret over mediocre roles for mediocre remuneration. People are just trying to get by - though standards of efficiency in their operations may vary.

1229 : It's incorrect, and confusing, to say ""there is no social contract"". I appeal to all parties to say ""the social contract is, the constitution"".

1843 : :Awake. Bit of social work. Bit of reading on biology. Time to enforce feeding again. Haha

1951 : Sorry lah, the ""kehilangan"" focus is Mahathirist victim mentality, and the 50-year campaign rhetoric that encultured Malaysians to spend all their energy fighting each other (the famous crabs) instead of focusing on world domination, which is why our GDP/cap PPP lags so far behind Korea and Singapore.

Even right this week, the other ketuanan medsos account is romanticising how beautiful life is for the person of a specific religion, even though they are proudly unsophisticated and poor. The focus is on one religion. Why? Are not all people proud, despite their unsophistication and poverty, regardless of religion?

Malaysia was founded for all citizens, regardless of religion. 🌞 Semoga rakyat akan maju kepada tahap tidak mengutamakan perkauman dan agama, atas kenegaraan, satu hari nanti. 👍🏼 Itulah jihad yang sebenar bagi jiwa rakyat kita.

2046 : On double dose of DHA. Also dropping Mg vigorously ... neuroplasticity issues still in focus.

2231 : So I'm working on this thing, which is a really dumb thing. So it's boring. But I'm not yet good at it, so it remains an uncheckboxed item. I don't really want to do it because it's a massive and I am lazy. I am going to try and brain it better. It's a really dumb draft, but I should just look at it and roll it around in my head through various permutations for a day or so.

Mon 27Apr2026, Sabbatical2 @3.085years ( year4; month38; week161; day1126 )

0114 : Daily meditation on neuroplasticity. It is now the theme of the week. I think working by myself allows me too much slack in terms of perfomance pressure ... which is good as a matter of calibrating in one direction. But to go the other way, for speed and power ... I need to debate myself harder.

It is difficult to try and fundamentally modify your biochemistry, tissues, intellectual cognitive network, and social cognitive network, all at once. I suppose that is the nature of the challenge.

So, next to focus on monitoring my sensory imagination's actions-per-minute, peripheral sensory input data rate, and motor reaction rate.

I can only tell myself to pay more attention.

0326 : Necessary refresher on JS 

[ classes are construcTORs ] : having

.prototype ( the prototype of construcTED instances )

.prototype.constructor ( pointing back to self )

[ instances are construcTED ] : having

.constructor

.[[Prototype]] ( point to .constructor.prototype )

0534 : BREAK FOR FOOOOD

0627 : time for some brainless work - shifting from CJS to ESM

0644 : `sudo apt install mc nnn ranger` - boy, there is a first time for everything, innithere?

Tue 28Apr2026, Sabbatical2 @3.088years ( year4; month38; week161; day1127 )

0029 : Hit sleep target today, roughly. Attributing improvement to both increased supplementation, and a small hormonal pump from lifting. But I am shrinking again, so I need to work harder. 

0136 : remedial work

0237 : I am very sad - that this year, I will probably do a rather cunty thing I have been avoiding : learning the TypeScript ecosystem.

0307 : `git restore -p FILENAME` : introduced in 

0424 : `git add -i`

interactive -> patch : is super fun for batching a few dozen edits at once

0703 : Chores are going well today. They are rather mundane and tedious, but it is good to clear backlogs from 2020 and 2012. I need to break for lunch before I die though lol ... breakfast was highly supplemented, so I am performing at a high APM despite increasingly loud signals from my musculoskeletal system that I am running out of sugar etc.

0743 : Probably the only thing I am proud of, about myself is my long-term attention span. I know almost no one who works on things on the timeframes that I prefer. But that is an empty statement. Everyone's sense of time is different.

0754 : the EUBI interstate fabric is quite interesting. It is remarkably absent from popular discourse. I look forward to a time when its constitutional basis can be openly debated without people feeling angsty about it. This is a significant fraction of my public work in Malaysian studies these days. Just talking about it.

1551 : I've been enjoying cleaning up old projects from 2020, and upskilling from my endless backlog, with some items backburnt since 2012. Many, many, quiet hours. The mind wanders while working. I think about my friends across time. I also think about how they probably don't think of me as a friend, which is generally expected. Animal spirits do what they will ... we just work around present opportunities. On with the work ...

1911 : As a competitive minimalist, my research direction has been set for all foreseeable futures. While capital accumulates constantly, capitalists willingly give up capital efficiency for marginal gains on the performance envelope. 

2019 : very nice feature! I'm catching up."

"Wed 29Apr2026, Sabbatical2 @3.090years ( year4; month38; week161; day1128 )in solo operations, 60-70% of work is risk management. If you're lucky, 5% is celebratory. 

0124 : Stimulus level is pretty high at the end of sleep today, so I will cut back on 12-hourly dosing of methylcobalamin and DHA. Soon, time to feed, again. Another daily grind towards targets

0503 : Digging intro medication and nutrition for Parkinsons ( not mine ) 

1003 : Alright. Systems slightly stabilised. But I think I need to finally run the Lambda RIE in order to figure out how to run Txiki.js properly

1036 : Unikernels, soon enough. Meanwhile a silly run of the Lambda RIE is also pending. I always say it would be nice if the world was generally a less boring place, but I suppose it is up to me to make it interesting. 

2030 : an appointment was cancelled. I will return to my desk 

2111 : Three-week sprint ends, this shift. The focus was useful, but there remains a lot to do afterwards. It is not yet 31% of the program.

I think about how I selected organisations from 2001 to 2026, mostly avoiding organisations which appeared to have a extraordinary advantages, so that I could properly immerse myself in the lives of ordinary people. I wonder if I will continue to do this afterwards, or if I will pivot to a mode of competitive capital acquisition.

Perhaps I am too comfortable being invisible. We shall see.

2203 : Internet and cats. I spend most of my social life on the Internet, as my work is mostly deskbound. I used to simply write-off the phenomenon of Internet-cat-lovers as an adult kindergarten situation. But over time I have come to realise that the population of Internet-cat-lovers is probably better emotionally regulated than the complimentary set. So while the cats are mostly useless to me, the cat-lovers are somewhat useful as staff, and the cats are therefore useful for talent management.

2242 : ""Does AIPAC 

(a) take funding from Israel, to influence Americans

(b) take funding from Americans, to create Israel, as a device to influence Americans

?"" 

I think many people will find the answer quite interesting. We live in interesting times. 

:)

2356 : It's been a quarter-century since I circled away from computing to broaden my education. I am happy to still have an opportunity to focus on computing these days. Around 2012 I was thrilled when ""docker"" was released, as it solved some workflow issues I had prior to that. These days I am happy that everyone uses it for so many things, and that I have a better understanding of OS architecture. My next weakness is understanding the details of compiler toolchains, so I am circling around ""cmake"".

Thu 30Apr2026, Sabbatical2 @3.093years ( year4; month38; week161; day1129 )

0001 : #acuteaday Who wants to be my korean girlfriend

( I don't know anything about koreans or girls, i just heard they're cute PS i have no money but i make very good kim chi )

0248 : BREAK for food

0353 : I think the hardest part of working mostly solo over 25+ years is : having no reliable independent assessment of progress. But this is a known factor that one adopts, when one begins. Such is life.

0831 : on zahir dan batin being used for frontend and backend development.

mai pasukan mahir

merah menebuk zahir

pi pakar cerakin

biru menebuk batin

0953 : 16 years after Marcel Leng introduced me to Vim, I think I've finally done enough coding to enforce a move to an IDE. Visual Studio made huge improvements since the 2000s. And I have at least one forcing factor : a codebase that is large enough to warrant efficiency gains from more automation. 

1200 : achtung. rewiring an entire unpolished MVC framework to run on multiple language runtimes is such boring work. fortunately the toy framework is fairly constrained in size.

1400 : SEKARANG

WAKRU

TIJUR

zzz ...

2129 : In my 16th year of Gnome, I started using terminator instead of screen - main benefit I think is mousing

2220 : 25 years since I left Malaysia to study the world, 21 years since I returned to study Malaysia. An interesting loop. i don't live here because I love it, it's just been the cheapest way to kill time. I wonder if it will eventually annoy me enough to have a good reason to do anything else, with my time.

Fri 1May2026, Sabbatical2 @3.096years ( year4; month38; week161; day1130 )

0747 : I have never done so much plumbing in the shell. I even have a reason to finally use tail, after 16 years, imagine that. 

```

docker exec -it $(docker ps | grep samcli | tr -s ' ' | rev | cut -d' ' -f1 | rev) dnf install -y libatomic && docker exec -it $(docker ps | grep samcli | tr -s ' ' | rev | cut -d' ' -f1 | rev) bash -c ""./tjs run ./index.js 2>&1""

```

0919 : Excruciating process in the second third of the day. Silent failures in some obscure language runtime. Manual debugging without much automation. At least I have a forensic buglist now. 

But I need to eat first, I am hungry. Enjoy your labour day mfkrs 

1106 : This week's focus has been recalibration of neutrotransmitter baselines. While it is quite comfortable to eat less, so that there is no antsiness while living very quietly ... it becomes necessary to eat more ( specific qualities ) in order to raise agitation to the point where it is comfortable to expend extra literal tonne-meters of work purely for the purpose of stimulating the endocrine and neurotrophic systems, to say nothing of hypertrophy.

2205 : I think it's kinda weird when AI folks talk about ""graph"" vs ""vector"" data structures today, about LLM work. Vectors are mostly just abstractions of graphs, in this case. Of course, because model publishers issue vector formatted data, the underlying graph is inaccessible. So model client applications try to supplement them with locally reified graphs. 

2227 : :After 27 years of being bored by the people around me, it is time to wake up, for another day of being bored by the people around me. It is too general to speak of the world, so humility requires that one only speaks of what one can see in the world.

Sat 2May2026, Sabbatical2 @3.099years ( year4; month38; week162; day1131 )

0117 : Back to coding. I am still stuck on a sprawling, low-visibility, problem today.

0532 : TIME TO FEED

I now have a situation where the code intermittently

(a) fails silently

(b) fails with indirect feedback

(c) works

Well, a challenge for a little while longer - I just don't know how long I'll put up with this.

0707 : find + sed : very scary

git + find + sed : less scary

0823 : Extended Berkeley Packet Filter : Kernel extensions framework. Got here from reading about how `entr` / event notify task runner, works.

0839 : Trust, in AI : In formal security verification we talk about chains-of-trust.

In the long run, this kind of stuff always brings me back to the gradient of adulthood ... the question of which point in the development of an organism, lets it acquire political validation / legal personhood. Pretty much once it can buy its own food, defend its own interests, and has indeterministic behaviour such that it must be treated as a black box ...

0853 : 1. ISLAMIC and 

2. MORAL EDUCATION subjects 

in public Malaysian schools should be REPLACED with 

3. COMPARATIVE RELIGION and 

4. FORMAL GOVERNANCE SYSTEMS of the country.

1152 : My new least favourite thing about JS is ... modules can fail silently while loading. Since it's not in the spec, each runtime is free to implement failure reporting differently. If I was going to design a runtime, the static linking step before the interpreter kicks in should be implicitly wrapped in a try/catch.

2322 : Soon it will be a code smell, to end an essay with summary by way of contraposition. 

2352 : Time to buy eggs again. Neurotransmitter and APM levels have been up this week. I will monitor it for overburn.

Sun 3May2026, Sabbatical2 @3.101years ( year4; month38; week162; day1132 )

0154 : I did some manual work, in the dark, and wondered if in older age it would feel like this with partial blindness. I wondered if I would regret not spending my youth fucking around a bit more. But I grew old rather early and committed my time to slow and serious things almost as soon as I got to college. Not that I think these things are objectively better - but since few people seemed to understand what I enjoy studying, I felt, I should teach myself something I couldn't find from other people.

0602 : I should probably work on tempering my tendency to try and brute-force my way through weird configuration issues. Sometimes there is already and automation tool available. It would reduce the tendency to be cognitively overwhelmed, which is something I seek out too often, I suppose. Probably a bad sort of mental state.

1222 : TIL : that node.js `node_modules` are normally installed with links based on ""absolute module name"". But if I want to run these modules in a non-node.js situation, then I need to use something like `patch-package` to transform absolute module names to ""relative filesystem paths"". the industry simply hasn't come up with a runtime agnostic imports agreement, since runtimes tend to implement supersets of the standard. OMFG : Just ran into this : since it's not fixed yet ... I will need to try using webpack to build a aws-sdk v3 for ESM imports that don't require node.js assumptions phew

https://github.com/aws/aws-sdk-js-v3

 ... WebPack is on the official docs : targeting web, which I hope will work with other runtimes. 

It seems odd that I they don't just have a repo of prebuilt runtime agnostic modules lying around somewhere.

1323 : ""is the war over?"" 

... it's not a war

""is the special military operation still in progress?"" 

... we have the best and strongest military and will project force wherever it befits us, especially upon those who object to our overbearing old boys club of nuclear states

""but it over?"" 

... we are into piracy these days ... huge opportunities in this sector ... massive opportunities

Mon 4May2026, Sabbatical2 @3.104years ( year4; month38; week162; day1133 )

0215 : Caught up on sleep. Another day begins. First the feed. Then the work. I shouldn't look at it this way though, the feed is part of the work. 

0300 : This year I must, learn the word salad of build tools, across the major programming language ecosystems. It has been 16 years of not having this training, so I need to stop avoiding it.

0356 : [cartoon of man being shocked when computer follows instruction to say ""i am alive""] Well, this is a known issue called the problem of other minds. We actually treat humans and pet animals exactly the same way that the cartoon treats the computer. So what? The information processing is trivial : machines can and will exceed human processes for emotion and existential angst, it's all quantifiable.

The question of whether any of that coverts to legal personhood, remain to be seen.

0441 : I mean ... I figured out how to map every single one of my conscious experiences to a quantifiable data structure over 20 years ago. This is nothing more than the problem of other minds. The information processing is trivial - the practicalities of granting empathy and engagement are political questions, leading to legal personhood.

When do you want to start caring about black people? Children's rights? Women? Queers? Pedophiles? Criminals? Pets? Non-pet animals? Plants? Computers?

0500 : The overarching ignorance of context, about socialism being a superset of communism, is lost in most discussions.

0516 : TIL : `npm` vs `npx`

0626 : RM31k/month for the speaker of parliament. 

1. It's not a lot. It's only a lot when you compare it with the minimum wage of a poor economy like Malaysia.

2. it's a critical governance role. I would say it is more important than the PM's role.

3. Pay the mfkr

4. Beware whom we pay to be the mfkr

1140 : my /groan/ year is shaping up to be :

1. making fun of human exceptionalists

2. making fun of LLM pedants

3. making fun of third-world Malaysian

4. studying how software is built industrially

1216 : I should probably try to have some fun and not always work on things that feel like chores.

1315 : I just ran into this.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fuchsia_(operating_system)

Looks like non-POSIX, and it's kinda Erlangy :P 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Object-capability_model

And based on LK, littlekernel, the Android stage2 (after ROM, before linux) bootloader.

2146 : So, tests are indicating that a good time to take Mg2+ is with coffee, after macros, after sleep. This is coherent with the concept that magnesium tends to get flushed during sleep-time glymphatic rinses. 

2310 : I'm not sure if it's obvious to everyone, but my target characterisation in Malay speech, is based on Zizek's character in English.

Tue 5May2026, Sabbatical2 @3.107years ( year4; month38; week162; day1134 )

0100 : I am making a point this week to do a lot of light ""unstructured"" reading, after a three-week sprint, and intentionally avoiding starting another sprint : there is always endless dreary work, but rarely a reason to get to it.

0240 : It's somewhat exhausting to be trying to memorise the history of C and related build tools, while explaining how the law in my country works, to an irate countryperson, in my third language, as they are trying to explan to me why it is illegal for me to do so ... while I am also trying to monitor my physiology at the symptomatic level, against various conventional and unconventional nutrient inputs. 

Well, I suppose everyone complains about work. Malaysian studies are still a higher priority than learning programming, this year, but probably not next year, if there is a next year. :)

0346 : Lego Iran videos : I think it's more interesting that the songwriters and vocalists are probably sitting within US borders, somewhere. :)

0541 : OK - I figured out how to deal with anxiety from social work. After spending a bit of time around breakfast talking to a guy who threatened to strip me of my citizenship, I did a very little bit of reading on my own work : C build system history, then I took a very long break. The priming of new material was sufficient to give me something to think about, while I acquired sensory stimulation and rest through other activities. It is around afternoon tea time now, and I am back at my desk, memory more flushed, and ready to read some more.

0611 : Bazel, Turborepo, Nx : Which monorepo toolchain to learn? Fuck it, do all three. Getting too old for compromises.

1404 : Don't overcomplicate the experience of being conscious. Don't get too distracted by the implementation, when what is apparent in conscious memory is starkly minimal. We only need to map 1-to-1, the qualia to the computer's data structure. Thereafter the computer's conscious data is isomorphic with the meat's. 

The data structure doesn't know how it's implemented. The implementation is trivial. Consciousness as qualia is remarkably simple to compute."

"Wed 6May2026, Sabbatical2 @3.110years ( year4; month38; week162; day1135 )

0121 : sleep target at 95%

0235 : fake history? I do not have a judgment on who is right. I just want to highlight that the skill of judging who is right, ""epistemology"" especially with regards to official history, ""historiography"", is not institutionalised well in Malaysia.

 That, is about how universities and governments are organised to make debates and public records efficient. Look at the Frenchman in Melaka posting every week about errors he sees in public. How is this professionally handled by Malaysia? It is not : usually these things blackhole 😎 back to politics, right?

0410 : Well, in terms of what marketers and sociologists would call ""share of mind"" or general consumption of daily memory : 

The aggregate Malaysian ratio of ""intellectual plane : moral plane"" is maybe 1:40.

So how? It is structural, undergirded by decades of political economic activity. It is a fertile area for development if you are keen. I mean at the nationscale, not personal

0435 : Still taking it easy and doing literature reviews of build systems, today.

0650 : TIL : explicitly executing cgroups on the CLI via `systemd-limit params command`

0744 : WUT difference between a cutie-patootie and a baddie?

All baddies are cutie-patooties : them others just hos.0735;Graduated : finally started using CSS `light-dark()`

0846 : I think a good personal development : is that any future op-eds I send to Malaysian newspapers, have to be in three languages, to three separate newspapers.

1051 : Just looked at Sapling ( git compatible SCM ) and EdenFS ( SCM-oriented FS ) by Meta. Interesting.

1215 : One of my least favourite things about working in the software ecosystem, is that everything has a cute name. Imagine if they put a cute name on the mitochondria of each species in biology. Fuck.

1422 : Basic lifting after reading. Thinking of friends from times past. Not much to do. More focus on study, and meeting new people. 

1430 : Need to figure out what to do for fun today. I wonder what happened to the D3 library. It was an intergenerational mess in 2020 ... 

1507 : One should keep, an open mind. Though for years, one may meet no smart, or strong, or beautiful, people ... there is always a possibility that in the future, one will encounter such as these. Meanwhile, one can try to become smarter also. And make hot chocolate ... to pass the time.

Thu 7May2026, Sabbatical2 @3.112years ( year4; month38; week162; day1136 )

0548 : Good morning. Do you have insurace?

1. If you are fearful, you will always work for someone who offers to sell you a solution.

2. If you welcome accidents, sickness, poverty, and death, without fear, then you have options. 

Pick your own life. 👍🏼

0623 : Today, I must read an elementary text. The manual for GNU `make`.

I expect it will take a while for me to (roughly) memorise it. This May, may be a slow and boring month. Just last year I got around to mapping out the entire POSIX shell command language. I am late. But better late than never. This is year 43 ...

1411 : Not in the best shape today, reasonable as I only hit 70% input sleep. Still, rather decent, all things considered. A bit of social work. A bit of technical RTFM. Unenthusiastic about immediately memorising the GNU `make` manual, could do it in a sitting, but reluctant. Reminds me of putting off studying for SPM till the last six weeks or so. Botheration. So many chores in life. 

1620 : A droll day. Time to eat, again. The world is very quiet. Maybe I will get a run in after groceries. I shall be grateful not to be accompanied by crysome people, at least that is something celebratory. 

1957 : I have lived a few too many interesting lives to be complaining all the time about currently boring work. I should just focus on the work. Well, in this hour the work is to sleep 

2005 : The assholes in the philosophy department are the sort of people who are too lazy to do wetlab, but want to ordain themselves rulers of methodology. This is great except when they make a living by flaying the mysteries ... such as those who say consciousness is mysterious. It is not. They are so annoying 🤪

Fri 8May2026, Sabbatical2 @3.115years ( year4; month38; week162; day1137 )

0500 : Ketua menunggang kaum. Anaknya pulak menunggang agama. Siapa lagi yang merempitkan satu negara kita? 🤣

0538 : PMX is absolutely the MVP for Islamisation of Malaysia. And this golden boy was installed by the carry, Chairman Mahathir. We thank them both for our nation's current state. But we do not commend them for its current state. We all have different visions, for the state. We are not guaranteed the reification of any visions. To reify visions we only can act, in the present. 

0545 : Once you accept the indeterministic outcomes of a blackbox, you are committed to assigning legal personhood to someone who is responsible for oversight : a meat or non-meat node will suffice. That is the next great adventure, graduating the legal personhood of AI vs how we currently graduate human children. 

0555 : The most influential Malaysian, in all its short history, without hyperbole. When he passes, history will inevitably honour his legacy with half or a whole century of post-Mahathirism. 

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/18V2nwokp4/

0602 : Enforced run. All eyes on Iran again, this week. 

0750 : pace 7.36 min/km

0855 : on cowardly historians. I disagree with the thesis that KJ has said the wrong thing. However, if we are all comfortable with irony, then I agree with the ""dialectical process"" of these public exchanges. As a politician in an immature society, KJ can't just go around slapping strong people : he has to do it more as if, ""hey guys, look, I found this weak idiot, watch me watch me slap them on my podcast. What, it's a slappable issue, ya? Oh we are slapping the wrong guy? Sorry, tell me who we should slap?"" And now the author has responded. 🤣

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1BqygWr8j6/

1352 : Ann Pow is doing a 500+km ultramarathon. I don't feel productive 

1816 : Got a run in today. And topped up kimchi. But verbally unfulfilling. Monitoring physical recovery. 

1832 : One day you're 10, and reading about some cool technology, AIM9 missiles. You don't know they are 40-years-old.

Another year you're 43, and reading about geopolitics. WW2 wasn't so long ago, just a hundred years.

Time is an interesting quantity.

Sat 9May2026, Sabbatical2 @3.118years ( year4; month38; week163; day1138 )

Sun 10May2026, Sabbatical2 @3.121years ( year4; month38; week163; day1139 )

0606 : time to feed again

0858 : Due to concerns about OD-ing on calcitriol, I'm going to start logging date and time of dose.

1414 : I never saw network installation and administration as more than clerical work. I mean, network engineering is interesting, but administration just seems like stuff on the order of hiring competent cooks. Same goes for building business software, or keeping accounts ( pre-FPA ). To a degree, I make myself do many of these things anyway, just to get the hang of it, and to understand the working lives of the people involved. I haven't done much time as a network admin tho.

1421 : ada orang mempersoalkan institusi MRR : baik atau bebab? Jawapan adalah berasingan bagi persekutuan dan negeri2, sebab perlembagaan dan perundangannya adalah berlainan.

Padahal kesemuanya patut jadi ""data rasmi terbuka"" bagi pengetahuan rakyat : tapi perlaksanaan peradaban sebegini susah dikendalikan ahli politik semasa, sebab terlalu banyak hingar / noise dalam alam politik Malaysia, atas pelbagai kemelesetan ekonomi, selain daripada persoalan ini. 

1447 : Time to enforce a third meal : more natural insulin ... gross.

1618 : I hate triggering insulin during work, buuttttt, I guess after putting it off for 20-30 years, I should figure out how to do it properly. For anabolism. 

1747 : I wonder how long this initial study of build systems will take. Either I get bored of reading and switch to something else, or I will learn a lot.

2119 : just joined 20ish cybernetics related subreddits, from econs to computer engineering

2132 : As a completely uninsured individual, fully dependent on the public health system of Malaysia ( which I almost never use, thanks to the privileges of youth and ingenuity ), I think they need to raise the base consultation price from $0.25 to at least $4.00, though about $5 would be a good bridge to the private sector range of $2.50 - $20.

Mon 11May2026, Sabbatical2 @3.123years ( year4; month38; week163; day1140 )

0204 : Being on Threads this past year, I have been reminded of how many people have a protocol about dating. 

Personally, I am a protocol-less dater. I PREFER to simply discuss common interests, without any exchange of gifts or expectations prior to explicit offers. This is a non-competitive activity.

Of course, BY ACCIDENT I often date people who have a presumption of protocol, whereby they view dating as a competitive activity. So they may be looking to extract value from any invitation to chat, by not offering (or outright refusing) to share communal costs.

In recent years, the dating apps have been noisier with more of these presumptuous protocol-oriented people. So as a matter of risk management I simply advertise explicitly : available for coffee or walks, offering only conversation and a warm body, no gifts. 

0941 : 21 hours up : 5 hours down : 2 hours socially engaged ... ok, it is time to eat, and maybe to start a sleep log. 

1119 : ""subquadratic sparse LLM"" - tell me you're an SLM without telling me you're an SLM. 😛

1207 : I prefer to eat without triggering the analgesic effects of insulin, as I find it disruptive to work. However, under my current test program, I have to eat until the analgesic effects are triggered. We will have to see how this goes.

1706 : I feel sorry for the business guys in Malaysia's tech VC stack. The fundamental STEM stuff just isn't there in good or large enough quantities. This is a throwaway comment. :)

1727 : Academic quality control: Everyone knows the simplest solution is to enforce computerless tests, written or viva-style. That's all.

1730 : It is now time to catch up a little on non-verbal AI architecture of the past decade. But first, perhaps enforced physical loading.

1928 : As much as I prefer to approach things from first principles, I am jumping into the computational chain for AI by starting somewhere in the middle. The current approach is to survey the popular industrial models of the past few decades, CNN, RNNs, transformers, etc., even though I don't find their operands interesting. Maybe I find the CNNs more interesting because they are operating on ""more sensory"" data structures, but we shall see - I will need to lock-in on the various bottlenecks in computation at various points in history leading to the present clusterfuck.

1949 : I've been putting off the quantitative study of image processing since college, so I am happy to circle back to it, finally

Tue 12May2026, Sabbatical2 @3.126years ( year4; month38; week163; day1141 )

0830 : Maybe related. There is some ongoing chatter about an act of parliament to create a ""commission for harmony"" where various religious groups are represented. However this is CURRENTLY facing opposition from spokespersons/ activists for Islamic supremacy, namely Aminuddin Yahaya, pic in comments.

0837 : Metaverse : I think at a high level, the strategy was wrong.

What it was : a reboot of the 90s, and 00s, focused on voxels.

What it could have been : the introduction of anthropomorphic sensory data-types, enabling quantisation of phenomenological first-person experiences in various modalities.

But till today, the latter concern is not trendy, so we have oodles of computation, upon the wrong underlying data structure.

1531 : TIR : the keyword `eli5` is quite useful for getting bots to explain how algorithms / technical processes work, because usually domain-specific docs are shit at excluding jargon. Also useful for non-technical concepts such as in art and literature ... but less verifiable for the bot, so more drift/ hallu issues.

2245 : finally got around to studying DCT, DWT, wavelets, after 20+ years. I think I need to yank out the calc texts now"

"Wed 13May2026, Sabbatical2 @3.129years ( year4; month38; week163; day1142 )

1537 : I suppose I should be thankful that they keep improving spreadsheet conventions. :P But I feel a bit old having to keep learning new formulae.

1613 : time to feed again

2323 : FFT, DCT, DST, CWT, etc. Great to have these super chill study resources, as I pick up on music and physics stuff I parked 22+ years ago.

Thu 14May2026, Sabbatical2 @3.132years ( year4; month38; week163; day1143 )

0804 : Music raised endurance 20% without modifying heartrate? Enhanced neurotransmitter stimulation, distributing network load throughout brain

0809 : Ini bukan, kerja orang kampung.

Ini kerja, orang yang mengerjakan orang kampung. 

Ko mana? Katak apa? Pertama ke, kedua? 

0857 : MBTI bukan sains. Ia bukan kerangka normatif / ""apa yang patut"" . Hanya kerangka diskriptif / ""apa yang ada"". Macam notasi muzik.

Ada kegunaannya MBTI kepada saya, sebagai pereka perisian. Kerangka MBTI adalah berdasarkan ciri pemprosesan maklumat dalam otak. Jadi senang disalin kerangkanya dalam pembinaan kejiwaan jentera.

0909 : someone made a graph of Malaysia's regressive tax scaling : Nah, ambik kau, barua Malaysia! Faham tak dasar percukaian yang ""kapitalis"" x ""sosialis""? Iya, ada kerangka lain juga. Contohnya, Islam mencadangkan satu hala, lain lagi!

Ordinary capitalist tax policy. You will see something similar in the US. If you want change, vote for more socialist policies. 

0925 : Budaya anak kita, wajib bukan budaya kita. Itu hakikat sejarah. Tiada satu budaya kuno yang lebih lagi daripada 6,000-8,000 tahun. Yang awal-awal itu sudah sunyi. Jadi lah, kita meneruskan, hala panah masa ... 💀

1743 : kita kena ajar pembaca buat lit review la ... sebab ramai orang tak tahu sistem petikan / citation yang berdasarkan peer review tu

... come to think of it, zaman kini : besnya kalau kita start setiap buku teks KPN itu ada citation betul-betul pada akhiran buku

1942 : Stuck on Malaysia studies this year. Gotta switch to chinese next year lol

2200 : ""Saya bos. Saya buat apa yang saya suka, sebab saya tahu apa yang betul. Saya tidak penduli pandangan can kemakian orang lain terhadap saya. Saya hanya ingin buat kerja yang baik.""

Patut lah, begitu ramai pihak tak seronok dengan mamat ni.

Fri 15May2026, Sabbatical2 @3.134years ( year4; month38; week163; day1144 )

1416 : 1. Saya lulus SPM 2000, bukan UEC

2. Sebenarnya SPM tak beri apa-apa galakkan atau keyakin kepada saya, bahawa kandungan sukatan itu membawa kepada kenegaraan yang mulia ( apa-apa yang saya rasa mulia di Malaysia, bukan dari 5 tahun pembelajaran itu )

3. Selepas itu saya mengaji di negara lain. Sistem sana pun saya kutuk

4. Entah lah, kitorang suka bertengkar isu tempatan, tapi isu ini amat kecil dari padangan sadunia

5. Teruskan perbahasan. Teruskan kenegaraan. Negara lain tak tunggu kita

1600 : Stopped by the grocer to use my helicopter money. Got rained in.

1658 : Spent the first part of the day prepping a nutrient test for my aunt.

Back to a desk now. What can I do next ..

1854 : oh wow - used descript.com to get timed substitles, and uploaded it to youtube. Now i have omni-language translation

2013 : threads making fun of love poetry : Mendiang dulu pernah kata

""Isteriku seketul semata"" 

Dah lah berkabung

Makcik sudah hitung

Lovernya mampu merata-rata

2337 : Finally sitting my ass down to a walk through of transformer architecture. The overall approach probably does what ... 30% of how humans think, but nowadays they get 90% of market attention :) 

Anyway, it is time to crash for the day - and I need to catch up on a backlog of unsleep.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLLlTVphLQsuPL2QM0tqR425c-c7BvuXBD

Sat 16May2026, Sabbatical2 @3.137years ( year4; month38; week164; day1145 )

0016 : just found ""spawned"", a sort of Erlang inspiration, for Rust 

1234 : Most AI efforts over the last 0.7 century have been excessively focused on the operations, and not on the correctness of data structure operands. Once we correct the operand models, to match conscious experience as sensory qualia, there will be a much better substrate for operations research. Until then, operations are increasingly inefficient, as we can see from how models are trained today.

Not sure if you've heard this one before, but do give it some consideration. 

1305 : doing a brief study of multilingual management in AI models 

1613 : Whatever function is played now by trillion parameter models in datacentres, will in 30-50 years be played from each of our homes, perhaps simply on our wrists. We can make fun of each other's architectures, politics, and poor financing decisions ... but in the long-run, these will be moot. 

1628 : `netcat`, `curl`, `websocat` : taking note of some basics.

1717 : Tracking sleep properly over six days, shows that I am rather under target. The ordinary method to cause longer sleep is to incur greater motor loading. Hm. Choices.

#jerngvsmeat

1748 : GANs and diffusion : this is off topic for 2026 ... i am supposed to be on Malaysian studies, and software tooling ... but of course, this is more interesting, for a bit 

2233 : Among various readings, looked at FEATURE vs LATENT space history of usage, and CORTISOL SPIKE to PSNS RECOVERY mechanics

2316 : Hardware should be perpetually safe - unless there comes a redistribution of compute from cloud to personal devices. This is an interesting swan.

Aside, margin compression for AI software companies will come when people start to realise it is not just non-AI, but ALL SOFTWARE that has no moat. :D

2322 : It's an interesting time in my life. As hoped, I will never ""have"" to build the system that I had expected to be needed to process my history of thought. Yay.

Meanwhile, having postponed paying attention in maths class ( because maths professors I had were really bad ) for 25 years, this year seems like the year to get back into it.

But that's not what I planned for the year - as expected, always too many things to do.

2333 : The first thing you learn in philosophy or cultural anthropology, is that the referent of one's language is not to be presumed to be common to all external systems. The business of socialisation, and its related toolkits of politics, psychology, and empathy, tend to bring us all back to the informed conclusion : communication takes work.

Sun 17May2026, Sabbatical2 @3.140years ( year4; month38; week164; day1146 )

1102 : My own personal culture is more on STEM. I don't care if either Chinese or Malays or any religion disappears. It would not affect much my view of the world. 

All culture is matter of preference. If you want others to switch from their culture to yours, it is politics. 

If you have a culture of imperialism, you will try to force other people to speak your language. Etc. 

🤷🏼🤷🏼🤷🏼

Yes, STEM oriented worldviews are a religion too. So is humanism, which I don't subscribe to. I don't think humans are special. 🤣🤣

If STEM disappears, we are all back to monkey life. So try again ... 🤣🤣

1141 : 59% average sleep. Stuck in this rutt. Anyway. Gotta get up. Time to party. That is, make rice. 

1311 : Exception Handling : DWARF vs SJ/LJ

1456 : ""indonesia will do the right thing, even if its courts will not""

1458 : sigh. VCs enable the cronutisation of tech

1542 : Catching up on LLM optimisation : history of LoRA and structured pruning of edges to make smaller matrices. Most of this stuff is commonsense operational research, moreover for a single non-final temporarily-overhyped vertical in AI, so I haven't been watching it too closely.

Mon 18May2026, Sabbatical2 @3.142years ( year4; month38; week164; day1147 )

0340 : re: criticism that rafizi ramli is too unfriendly : we don't need more friendly idiots - we need more economically strict minority leaders

0524 : ""Mamba is just lossy compression on the Transformers algorithm"" - it took a bit of prodding to reveal this, as marketing seems to have popularised the notion that it's fundamentally different

0531 : Regarding the thesis that palestine lost as much territory to Jordan as it did to Israel : I think the short version of a disentanglement for this is : if all of disputed territories had simply been ceded to ""Jordan"" or any Arab-non-Israeli state, the situation would be fundamentally resolved.

Essentially the thesis presented is best viewed as a ""divide to conquer"" lens from Zion's POV.

0554 : TIL : WRT manifolds : charts, atlases, transition maps

0600 : Just maybe, say the quiet part out loud - PUTRAJAYA must be held to task for not disseminating knowledge of ALL MALAYSIAN CULTURES to ALL OF MALAYSIA. This is of course a 62-year-old story 

1404 : 1% up on average sleep over the week. Tiny improvement on the average. Time to get up and feed. 

1534 : Semua perkataaan tuan, saya setuju. Mungkin kita tak setuju ini :

- pada 1957, perlembagaan sudah pun memberi hak kepada bukanMelayu, yang ""tinggi""

- semua permintaan pelbagai jenis minoriti, dari UEC, ke LGBT, ke pelbagai yang lain adalah percubaan yang mendasarkan 1957

(A) kita boleh berdebat atas kefahaman perlembagaan 1957 - masuklah mahkamah 

(B) Kita boleh menolak hak yang terlampau tinggi diberi kepada ""pendatang"" - masuklah PRU, dan naikkan ADRM yang boleh mengubah dasar perlembagaan, dan segala undang yang bawah perlembagaan

(C) Yang rakyat lebih suka : selalunya kita ke medsos dan buat bising 

- saya seorang yang tak berpihak UEC, ada SPM, dan tak berapa suka dengan SPM secara am 😂

1646 : Ahhhhh ... I think I will de-load my EZ bar again ... wanna push for more reps and volume

1703 : Tactical : knocking up beta alanine a bit, since it's the only imidazole dipeptide I have easy access to

1709 : Stumbled upon this minor tactic in ML called ""contrastive decoding"" which is basically the Socratic method or, risk-management via stopping to have a chat with someone about the issue.

1733 : Yom Kippur : All politics aside, just play this as a Red Alert map, and you'll find it to be one of the more tactically intricate engagements since WW2.

1811 : the Begin doctrine, and Iran being the only state still calling for the destruction of Israel : apparently the crux of the issue : we will just have to wait and see what can be done about it :P

1819 : ""Rafizi Ramli dan Nik Nazmi sudah Bersama""

- fixed

( a.k.a. parti R2N2 )

1841 : AI food bankS : This is quite hilarious, given Malaysia right-wing taboos about ""communism"". But yeah, central distribution historically failed as a result of imperfect information, combined with limited freedoms. Nowadays we have much better information pipelines. Yet freedoms are still variously restrained.

1924 : ""latent space hypothesis, 2025"" - more hipster jargon : guys, all this is saying, is that the ML community is starting to have models look at the world the way physicists look at the world, phenomenologically. LOL

1956 : amused and happy that modern free-of-charge tech allows me to study math without actually doing math

2109 : AW will be bigger than AI. What's that? Artificial wombs. Just do the math - the entire historical oppression of half the species rests on this issue. AW will free more people than any other technology in the species' history ... of course, they're gonna turn it into a business!

2200 : Rotational positiona encoding : This is a good video! It talks about an encoding optimisation in LLMs. Once again, this is just a matter stumbling upon new ways to compress data, and really really boring, if the data being compressed is boring, but hey - it makes things cheaper. So you should know about it.

2330 : I love doing business, but I think too many businesses are shit and I don't want to get too involved. 

Just like how I love people, but I think too many ditto ditto ditto.

Tue 19May2026, Sabbatical2 @3.145years ( year4; month38; week164; day1148 )

0012 : laplacian!

0040 : briefly introduced to partial differential operators 

0123 : I think my brain's given up for the day. I'm currently trying to gain an intuition for why the Pythagorean sum of squares is related to energy ... these are all patterns of conservation. But, I think the answer may be more of a metaphysical one, about why the rules are the way the rules are ... so there may be no obvious physical answer. Transcendental analytic shit.

But, given that I am quite sure I don't have enough neural capacity to appreciate that today, let me rant about something else instead. OM AI LAWD the idiots I met on the Internet today ... sometimes I wonder about pedestrians ... sometime I wonder why I bother to wonder.

0254 : fast twitch exercises move into focus, today

1449 : TIL : optic chiasm : nasal-halves of each eye's visual field crosses over to the other side (R-L, L-R), whereas the temporal-halves stay wired to the same side of the brain (L-L, R-R)

2029 : Macam ni la : dalam kehidupan biasa, ""hak"" adalah kenyataan perundangan. 

Bagi menyatakan hak yang kita mahu, kita kena mengundangkannya la. Itu tak susah pun. Kena ada 67% ADRM je.

Selain daripada itu, seseorang boleh kata hak bukan perundangan : datang dari bumi, langit, tuhan dll, tetapi itu mestilah dinyatakan dengan jelas. Sebab kalau tak jelas, orang tidak faham maksud hak yang disebut kita. Adakalanya hak yang saya mahu, hanya kemahuan saya. 👍🏼

2233 : I have no idea what I am doing, and I have decided not to do more of this today."

"Wed 20May2026, Sabbatical2 @3.148years ( year4; month38; week164; day1149 )

0011 : Bab ""tak tahu sejarah"" memang ada masalah. Sebenarnya kerajaan patut mewajibkan setiap buku teks sekolah ada petikan akademik yang tersusun bagi setiap perenggannya. Bila ada sebarang persoalan, sistem semak dan imbang adalah jelas dan boleh dikelola orang ramai. 

Bila saja (iaitu selama ini) mereka tidak mendasarkan sistem ini : setiap kali lah ada cetusan claim salah, fakta impian, petikan lari, tajuk tercipta ... semua jadi polemik dan bazirkan masa satu negara. 

Ini masalah tak pakai teknologi saja. Tek ini sudah lama kekal di dunia akedemik.

0115 : Boleh je, ada 67% kita tukar perlembagaan balik kepada monarki mutlak 

0117 : Saya rasa, perundangan mungkin belum cukup ketat atas kelolaan benda ini lah. Kalau terperinci sikit perkara-perkara tersuratnya, tidak perlu lah pertengkaran atas apa-apa yang tersirat.

0947 : Itu pandangan yang menarik. Di bawah perundangan, tiada pun sesiapa yang ""diluar perundangan"". Dengan itu, sesiapa yang rasa adanya ""adab yang perlu dijunjung dan tidak diabaikan"" PATUT berjuang dan menjadikannya tersurat dalam perundangan. 

- saya, amat gembira pada musim ini, sebab ada banyak peluang untuk membincang tatacara negara

0948 : 1. Your perspective is valid. This is not a new perspective. We have seen people say this for 70 years. 

2. If you publicly speak in English or Chinese about it with the hope that it will change some minds, you have a fundamentally POOR POLITICAL STRATEGY. 

3. You can only advance this cause in Malay. Because the people whom you disagree with, are living in Malay, mostly. And they do not take seriously people who do not use Malay. 👍🏼

I have been repeating this point to anglophone and sinophone political activists in Malaysia for 20 years 😎

1449 : JEPA looks fairly promising. It ticks most of the boxes (perhaps not all, but I am not sure about their architecture) which I understand the be needed for anthromorphic intelligence. Here is the 2022 paper https://openreview.net/pdf?id=BZ5a1r-kVsf 

1548 : nVidia's LSGM ( 2021 ) latent score-based generative models ... basically did a crude form of reinventing physics, which succeeds due to brute-force fueling of physically imprecise algorithms. The algorithm works as a sort of physics DSL / domain-specific language, in the sense that : the physics of 'only celebrity faces' can be optimally modelled using fewer parameters than physics in general.

https://nvlabs.github.io/LSGM/

1700 : Maybe DAP has to play safe seats this round, and spend the entire next election cycle working with a consultant that isn't culturally illiterate.

1702 : Kebarangkalian politik bukan kepakaran saya - ada analis yang ada data yang lebih baik mengenai siapa dapat menang haha.

Sebagai marhaen, saya rasa, ia boleh jadi hobi atau project tepi ... buat satu draf ""akta rukun negara"" etc. bagi mencetuskan pemikiran ADRM yang tidak sendirinya buat kerja tu demi rakyat LOL

ni ... ""kepakatan civil society / masyarakat sivil"" la 

2122 : rafizi ramli's opening statement in his political vision refers to a low state of development prior to british governance in Malaya :Well, that's done it. He lasted half a week. 🤣

2247 : Patch Tokenisation: How LLMs process vision. TBH I haven't (yet) bothered to fully understand how this approach works - but I'm prejudiced against it because that's now how I process images internally LOL.

Great video though. If I somehow manage to stick to studies this time, it's going to be a few interesting years of catch up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuodF4pq79g

Thu 21May2026, Sabbatical2 @3.151years ( year4; month38; week164; day1150 )

0020 : looks like the 

0024 : I do so little maths and stats that I forgot the normal and Gaussian distributions were the same thingbots are reading my blog again 

0027 : TIL autoencoders

0040 : Super important ( only for people who eat soy protein isolate ). I hate the gooey consistency of SPI-water solutions. It turns out that a bit of cocoa powder completely disrupts the gel and drops viscosity significantly. Do with this info as you will.

0123 : TIL autoregressive

1323 : Awake. Time to enforce feeding again. Increased sleep may be linked to calcitriol admin. I need to check my logs. 

1422 : The expectation that non-bumis will assimilate is flawed. This is not set out in the founding documents of the country. In fact, the country is predicated on the notion that non-assimilation is the norm.

I am neutral on this issue : if the majority wants to change it, they just need 67% to change the law. Until then, why should anyone feel bad about lawful behaviour? If anything makes people feel bad, it should be formally resolved. Informal approaches are not a culture to be condoned.

Of course, the informalists will disagree :P 

1429 : Hm. Interesting media landscape this morning. Should I make a note of domestic or neighbouring issues first? Domestic it is.

1609 : Different people have different traumas, I suppose, which provides them with different fears i.e., motivations.

My problem is never that life is too short ( every day is a good day to die, for me ), or that I may be alive and unhappy ( I have no objections to suicide by free will ), or that people may not like me ( why should they like me? it's up to them lol ).

So I don't have many problems that money can solve. 

The remaining problems are things like ""why don't I understand how XYZ works"", etc. LOL, hence I am a nerd.

2113 : I think a common misreading is that ""Pua said the crown is ornamental"", a phrase I take from your text.

The gist however, might be closer to ""Pua said degrees carry no force of law (except upon certain domains)."" 

2131 : v

Fri 22May2026, Sabbatical2 @3.153years ( year4; month38; week164; day1151 )

0226 : ExtendDB: well that only took ... 14 years 

https://aws.amazon.com/blogs/database/introducing-extenddb-an-open-source-dynamodb-compatible-adapter-with-pluggable-storage-backends/

0240 : Hm. Kinda a shitty day. I think it was verbosely productive, but most of it was social work. Not a lot of learning.

1345 : Training experience over the framework of hitting 24 hour hormonal checkpoints for insulin and cortisol, and sleep ratio, has been positive. Increased protein-carb demand ratio has seemed to result, also. Will kick this along and see how it goes. 

1753 : looking for polar-coordinate equivalents to the discrete cosine transform, today

2153 : Super boring day. Mostly social engagement and physical conditioning, but I guess those are 2026 priorities 1 and 2 so I shall pat myself on the head for executing within discipline.

Bit sleepy, and APM is low. Given that some DOMS is happening, I am going with an ordinary inflammation hypothesis. 

Back to the desk in a bit. 

2311 : ( from chat ) I don't have much to say about physics, haha. I think physics supervenes on phenomenology, so I mainly concern myself with quantification frameworks for phenomenology. If that's done, then physics, maths etc, just fall into place.

Sat 23May2026, Sabbatical2 @3.156years ( year4; month38; week165; day1152 )

0021 : Visual CNN explorer: This is great. I will spend a couple of days or more, braining this, i think.

1324 : Dari pandangan barua undang sivil (termasuk saya lah), apa-apa ketuanan bukan sekular sudah tamat pada 1957. 

Saya masih galakkan sesiapa yang tidak setuju, anda boleh mengubah perlembagaan supaya Islam bukan hanya rasmi secara niskala, tetapi rasmi dengan kuasa yang tersurat. 👍🏼 Itu lah maksud demokrasi, majoriti boleh mengundangkan kesukaan sendiri 🌞

1402 : Awake, awake, time to feed. First hours of the day, already spent on social engagement. Cannot run due to shin splints, but expected to recover by tomorrow. What shall i learn today? 

1823 : TIL NVIDIA assembler is actually named PTX ( parallel thread execution ) and it provides control over registers, and SRAM, besides HBM ... and this is not really available to higher C-level code like CUDA, OpenCL, SYCL, Vulkan Compute, etc.

1925 : Another slow reading, sleepy, and DOM-inflammationed day. I should get groceries, before it's too late.

2201 : figured out that the ""attention KQV"" terminology is metaphorical cute, that has no sequential / intentional semantic import from the english. It's just a matter of prepping a dataset which is upstream from feature detection logic : the dataset results from multiplying two things (1) weights specific to the current pipeline's feature, and (2) the distances in an N-dimensional space, between every possible pair in a sequence of elements, of a vocabulary-set whose element are located in that N-dimensional space. Perhaps a more literal phrasing is to call the ValueWeights, ""feature weights"", and to call the dot product of the QueryWeights and KeyWeights, ""argument weights"" 

2259 : TIL the defining characteristic of autoencoders is down-projection as a forcing factor

2300 : OK! Either I've misunderstood everything, or I'm quite happy with my speedrun through the elements of modern industrial LLM tech.

I still think they are shit of course. Haha. JK. On we go ... always more to study

Sun 24May2026, Sabbatical2 @3.159years ( year4; month38; week165; day1153 )Good morning. News seems calm today. Though every opportunity to shill peace, remains an opportunity to frame someone else as a disruptor.

I still find it difficult to hold in memory, all at once, the fundamental framework of quantification of consciousness, the naive experience of a poor citizen, and the naive experience of a ""sophisticated"" one, and the continuum of general STEM, macroeconomics, and geopolitics. 

It remains a small honour. Despite the distasteful substrate. lol

0005 : Ah, Betty Teh has aligned with Bersama. That makes total sense from a narrative point of view. Wonder who the main backers are. 

0251 : I think, tomorrow is a good time in life to return to elementary number theory and calculus. It will be day 1153 of sabbatical. 

0307 : LinkedIn has been a welcome opportunity to observe random finance, economics, politics, and STEM people. These are mostly absent in my corner of the world, Malaysia, middle of nowhere. As has been the case since graduation in 2005. I wonder how long it will tolerate me. 

1457 : Calcitriol modifications on melatonin and hypertrophy need to be studied closer today.

Mon 25May2026, Sabbatical2 @3.162years ( year4; month38; week165; day1154 )

0328 : Seriously though, when we have had ATPs for decades, forcing a neural network to relearn about logic, math, and physics from no principles, just to understand what NAND gates, sin curves, and Newton's laws mean ... is just ""expensive"" 😛

I hope to god they do away with that approach soon, if they haven't already.

0342 : Calcium deficit hypothesis seems supported. I added about 0.6g to intake via chalk today, and shin splints have reduced intraday. Caught this about 2 weeks into tracking daily spiking of [ melatonin > insulin > cortisol ], with accompanied increase in training load. This is promising ... I wonder how much I can push up daily/weekly training with Ca loading. 

This entire dietary tear down and rebuild over 3 years has been fun as hell.

0705 : TBH I'm REALLY not sure that postponing so much maths and biochem stuff from the 200x to 2026 was a good idea. But it sure seems that technology has made it easier to learn in 2026.

1655 : I think my threshold for ending Malaysian studies this year is whenever they announce polls. That's when all the real noise starts. 

1807 : It depends. An LLM is a bit of a precision tool. Used without foreknowledge it's going to be a paperweight. 

Prejudicing the LLM to be socially activist, as teachers are, is a specific configuration concern.

The notion that confuses people may be that ... a good teacher brings out the best person hidden inside every little naive meatball. This is a the old nature/nurture debate. Some people believe that there is no intrinsic human character to be developed, only a modification of the teachers' ( including passive teachers such as society at large ).

1821 : Encouragement for new social activists. The sooner you accept it as war and mercenary combat, the sooner you will be able to dehumanise the counterparty. 

Sure we can be hospitable outside of theatre. In theatre, we become death. 😂

2326 : A stint in ubuntu audio configuration hell ... reinstalled `gdm3` and all that

Tue 26May2026, Sabbatical2 @3.164years ( year4; month38; week165; day1155 )

0008 : Between software configuration bugs, restarting mathematics study from where I left off in highschool, and finding myself of limited social and financial capital - it has felt like a challenging day. Sabbatical is 31.64% done. If I do get to finish the next 6.8 years, I wonder how I will feel about the world. It is a curiosity.

0114 : I think this resumption of studying math, will be the largest project I have sought to tackle since, 200x's study of the structure of the university. Commerce was a large study, but not anticipated to be one of fundamental significance.

0208 : ngapo video org msia ke sgpr mcm katak kluar temprung

0322 : back to highschool : it would take the teacher like 10 minutes of explaining to 50 people, and chalk to show pi-r-squared is the area of a circle, but now we can fast-forward it in 10 seconds 

0603 : These are the contents of a book I bought for class at the end of sophomore year in 2003. At the time I had no spare memory for this, as there were more pressing issues to be dealt with, and I was deciding if I should drop out of college to get commercial experience, as a higher priority. 23 years later, I have a checked off a bunch of higher priorities : commerce, Malaysian studies, and some computer programming ... so there seems to be more space on the heap for this now. Finally. Ideally, I suppose, this is retirement forever, but I doubt I will completely ignore non-mathematical interests on earth, even though they are of a lower priority.

0800 : So project 32% in, 68% to go. Given current risks, I'd say there's a 40% chance of actually making it out of the tunnel without premature eject. Down from say, 70% chance when the market was up. 

0822 : William Potter's problem : how to be constantly at peak function, with trough stress. 🌞

1458 : Quantity is decaying again. I must be more careful. (Sleep)

1511 : Set plan. Make food. Eat. Wash. Go back to sleep. Initiate execution attempt. 

1643 : Liyana has guest hosted Dr Sahul Hamid, historiographer. a good platform

1703 : Pumping magnesium after two days of pumping calcium. 

1958 : Feels like the day after a distance record. 23 years is a long time to be on project, I guess. Or is it 35, depending on how I count. 

2343-Enforced eating. A rudimentary day of less study, so far."

"Wed 27May2026, Sabbatical2 @3.167years ( year4; month39; week165; day1156 )

0441 : Feels like I haven't sat down to read a book in years. Probably true for a few years, though it feels like 23 years, due to faulty memory, and the arc of this study. 

1809 : Malaysia bakal memajukan pelancongan seakan-akan budaya ""Islam hutan hujan"" , tapi, sampai zaman kini, MOTEC tak fasih marketing dan lebih pam pada budaya ""pelancongan ke konkrit"". Brand management kekonkrit ... 

1947 : I should do more reading and writing in the squat position to condition my knees on offdays. 

2150 : Pace still hovering around 7.47 minutes/km. Rubbish. Core and arms not activated. Must fix, next cycle. Perhaps more salt and potassium needed before. Ca and Mg were pumped quite a bit the past two days.

2255 : Review of pacing. I make it through the days comfortably with very few distractions from what I am supposed to be working on this year, except for some priorities scheduled for future years which have been pulled forward tactically - an acceptable compromise. I think I should just hold on tighter and floor it to see how much velocity I can add.

Thu 28May2026, Sabbatical2 @3.170years ( year4; month39; week165; day1157 )

0250 : Europe needs to get its hands dirty, and realign the GCC with Iran, disrupting its threat from Russia. 🤷🏼

0315 : Sleep failed. Time to eat again. 

1700 : Wow CMB is so fast now. Did they finally switch from webview to native or something lol. And the caching too 🤣

1715 : I think the intermediate skirmishes of ego are a superficial affair. After all the entire project of AI is the same project as individuals sitting in a cell trying to figure out how the brain manages conscious and subconscious first person experience. 

1800 : When Malaysian royal characters start contradicting each other in public, ordinary citizens simply resort to the theory of conspiracy. 

Is X roleplaying, so that Y can theatrically wind him down in public? Is this the sort of wayang we can expect from the MRR? Honest question. No disrespect intended.

1934 : A lot of thought over the last day, on overcomputation of powertrain from toe to neck, and undercomputation of powertrain from butt to finger. I know it sounds wrong. Lol

2126 : Studying this position for physical conditioning. Turns out seiza is literally my name haha. 

2135 : The main benefits of shin sitting, appear to be extension of the ankle by gravity, and stimulation of the shin surface which itself lacks musculature. This uncommon neural input allows for calibration of related systems. 

2236 : Ah, can't do M sit / wariza. Time to train.

Fri 29May2026, Sabbatical2 @3.173years ( year4; month39; week165; day1158 )

0254 : Muscle loading was concentrated on soles and shins today. Interesting because there wasn't a high cardiovascular load, but there was a great neural load. Also tossed anti-H1 in to see if it helps with inflammation. 

0700 : comparing environments from 2001, 2016, and 2026. Perhaps adenosine kinetics are off because I'm not doing 8 hour shifts on my feet. Alternatively, perhaps at room temperature, I don't resleep easily after waking from hormonal cycles. So next tests may pertain to strategic lowering of temps, and step volume again. 

0716 : This is one of those things which I can get behind, bit not for the reason that feminists might enjoy. The conflation of patriarchy with capitalism is an annoying blister on feminism. What if I just want a genderless unequal society? Why should it have anything to do with gender? Lol

2212 : Caught up on socials today. Went to a book fair with a recent acquaintance, shook hands with a social media writer, met their business partner, met another acquaintance for coffee, then met a new friend. Probably managed to do it all for under $20, so that was money well spent, I think. 

A productive day.

Sat 30May2026, Sabbatical2 @3.175years ( year4; month39; week166; day1159 )

0206 : Senangkan diri. Nilai hati dan nilai ekonomi tiada kaitannya. Utamakan penilaian diri. Dahpun itu kukuh, baru lah mencabar ekonomi.

0322 : Apparently I bought my copy of this famous book, which I discovered by accident in Kino, ""Mathematics : its content/ methods/ meaning"" in 2010, based on what's scribbled on the head-edge. Read it a bit today, and delighted to be reminded that the first chapter introduces the concept of numbers using anthropological hypothesis, to establish an ontology of maths. So now I can short-circuit epistemology debates on this and just tell people that it's already how MCCM reads. What's really annoying is that there's no standard abbreviation of this book's name, the way COPR for example is widely known in its field. 

1528 : Had coffee with a medsos friend who is independently pursuing studies in politics. Conversation came about to ISMA's influence on local affairs. More ABIM era MB affiliates - but whether ISMA is more a matter of agama tunggang kaum, or kaum tunggang agama, is up to your interpretation. 

https://www.facebook.com/share/1HgE1f5bbv/

1555 : Ran out of kimchi. Time to do massive food prep again. 

2009 : Key sleep metric still struggling. I will refocus on it also, under conditions of stress from low sleep, as expected it is more stressful to do social work with no safety net. Useful thoughts for today. 

2126 : Looks like shrinkflation has arrived at the veggy aisle.

Sun 31May2026, Sabbatical2 @3.178years ( year4; month39; week166; day1160 )

0334 : TIL basics : EPS is reported for its derivatives not for itself ... when comparing between companies. 

0411 : 6kg kimchi, constructed.

Body is still inflamed. I wonder which factor is worst.

Now I must reduce myself to have memory to think about numbers. I have never made enough time to do so. 

0422 : I am happiest when I don't think about other people, but other people are under priority 2 for the year. 

0514 : I have been thinking about all the people I have made unhappy, over time, as my body seems to be inflamed and you know, the mind wanders under such conditions. I think it is a healthy review. 

I am quite an irritating person, so usually I must simulate many contingencies before speaking - I also live in a country where the dominant political narrative has been ""emotions first"" for decades, so I have to be extra guarded. 

Anyway, one obvious theme is that I do not enjoy making people happy. I mean, I do enjoy pleasuring them, but, many of the things that make people happy are also obscenely stupid behaviours. This applies to many commercial assignments. So overall, I think it is safer for me to work in roles where I tell people what to do. ( My sister sent me a JD, that our dad sent her, about a church foundation job - no, the church probably doesn't want me, telling them what to do. ) Alternatively it is probably safe to hire me if you don't care how something gets done - hence R&D is not too far fetched. 

Let's see, what else passed my mind while I made 6kg of kimchi very slowly over those hours?

I really need to stop worrying about other people while I am on sabbatical. That is a bit arse-backwards behaviour. But then I would be a generally less helpful citizen, perhaps.

Mon 1Jun2026, Sabbatical2 @3.181years ( year4; month39; week166; day1161 )

0108 : I did SPM BM in 2000. But it is not a legal requirement for citizens to speak BM, and the economy lets you avoid it entirely. Lol. The in-group-out-group dynamics is just for people who identify the country with the language. 

There is however, one group i make fun off a lot. Political activists who don't do their activism in BM but expect change from Malays : that is a skill issue. Lol

I only studied parliamentary Malay after 2024, because I am on a 10y study break and have free time. 

0500 : One thing is clear about Rafizi. He doesn't have an athletic approach to physical maintenance. Not to say any of our past leaders were any good at this - you can find out. But any exposed surface is a vulnerability, so I fear enemies will use it against him. 

2131 : ""SPM patut dilaporkan secara persentil atau kuintil"" - new messaging dropped! 

2244 : Johor is down (again).

Hormuz is down (again).

Ok. Next

2325 : Agung : RN penting ya, tak setuju, belah

-

Warganet1 : maksudnya mereka

WN2 : lucut !

WN3 : lucutkan !

-

WN4 : diertinya kaduk naik junjung ya

WN5 : siapa yang kaduk ? 

WN4 : mereka ! 

WN5 : bukan kau ya ? 

WN4 : semestinya bukan aku

-

🤷🏼 😎

Tue 2Jun2026, Sabbatical2 @3.184years ( year4; month39; week166; day1162 )

0202 : Ini lah cara kerja yang baik. Semoga tiada penyekatan suara terhadap sesiapa, walau apa pun neracanya ! Rakyat tetap berundi bagi penyekatan suara : jadi terpulang lah kepada majoriti untuk mengimbang penyekatan pandangan minoriti dalam demokrasi 👍🏼 (dude doesn't argue online because neraca kita berbeza, just keeps stamping out content)

0205 : Logging this a whole day late. Not sure if improved sleep yesterday comes from which of the convoluted variables:

1. latest kimchi batch is formulated with higher Mg and Ca

2. walked a fair bit while networking at PBAK

3. phenylalanine from diet coke

0248 : Pushups now at 3 sets 40/set. Still weak, so need to iterate between diet and this. On the up side, I can touch the floor without bending my knees, so I guess squats and RDLs are helping 

0327 : Uninspired. But what is new. On with training 

0421 : on the education minister's comments. : 1957 - 2025, ban books, block websites, arrest writers and journos and activists, penalise academic participation in democracy, legalise warrantless arrest for non-Muslim commentary on Islam, nationwide, hide national school exam statistics, hide history of religious conversions, block religious conversions in court

2026, it is time to become a ""reading city""

0432 : Such is life

It must be nice to find other people inspiring 🤣

The absence of that requires a lot of work to discover alternative sources of inspiration

2219 : I erm, spent a few days talking to various people about their lived experience in forming relationships ( political, personal, functional, whatnot ) with other people. It reminded me that many of us don't know how to function against the world as an abstract machine ... so we cling to an inner-circle whom we deem more personal, and then simply deprioritise everyone else. 

Such is the poverty of the average person. But whether this skews greater in the lower, middle, and upper classes, is also of general interest. 

Not a novel thought. Just routine reflections on the reality of society, at this point in history. 

2304 : Dear algo, please network me with number theorists, formal logicians, pedagogists, and cognitive scientists in Malaysia and its surrounding region.

Malaysia is where STEM goes to die, but maybe we can fix it with a proper grounding for the masses."

"Wed 3Jun2026, Sabbatical2 @3.186years ( year4; month39; week166; day1163 )

0209 : on dreyfus : Look mates, human intelligence is just sensory data types on spatiotemporal manifolds, in different memory spaces. We're not there yet, but it's for lack of political will, not that no one knows how to do this. 

0404 : One thing about hand-release push-ups : they're more relaxing because of the zero-load phase, even if the loaded phase is more tiring. 

1630 : These days, upon waking, before I am out of bed, I spend at least several hundred taps and an hour, adjusting commentary on Malaysian politics, and maybe some global ones as well. A small luxury to have time to engage with society. And a remarkable reminder that when one is busy on projects with external objectives, there is generally a great quantity of neglect for civil society. And that is how the working class remains distracted from politics, so that politicians can do as they please. 

1642 : Petakmimpin kita - is a thing

Thu 4Jun2026, Sabbatical2 @3.189years ( year4; month39; week166; day1164 )

0149 : Healing rate is very slow today. Maybe too many difficult projects concurrently. Weak. 

0202 : histones x histamine : interesting

0307 : I suppose the 50% load during days post-100% load, is now a strategy I must take seriously. Because my neurals are backing off to about that amount during healing, but I don't want to stop loading entirely. 

0519 : NotebookLM is squashing uploaded text images : so I need to further send the sources ""verbatim"" via chat to Notes. 

I know it's not the original usecase for the app - but I asked Google if they could just save the image as a thunk, without processing it until it needs to be processed. Then I can just read my uploaded sources .. LOL

0532 : Nested Observer Window, 2024, doesn't really do more, than providing a standard framework for the common-sense notion that organisational subunits consider information in different ranges of spacetime before feeding them upwards for consolidation

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10949963/

0749 : Maybe I need to schedule a second insulin spike, daily 

0800 : common misconception that LLMs do not do logic at all. Depends on architecture. In a transformer layer, the inputs are clustered/weighted, and then run through a FFN. The FFNs can learn logic. And the transformer layers are multiplicituous, so it's a stack of FFNs. So logic gets done. The INCREDIBLY INEFFICIENT bit is ... making LLMs learn logic /NAND gatea / maths / physics from scratch, as if primordial soup, everytime the frontier model is trained. They should just have ATPs on the side and chop costs down. Brains are modular for a reason. 

1000 : Enforced feeding again. What a chore. 

1820 : UNESCO should just strip Malaysia of its heritage statuses for all the flagrant lack of maintenance and restoration 

1841 : Time to feed. Again. 

1917 : I suppose it was a necessary exploration. The EZ bar was a distraction from 2013 to 2026, and it has its uses. But I am reverting also to a 2005/6 form, of using a single dumbbell at 25% of EZ bar loading. I am 43, hopefully I can stabilise a robust understanding of this stuff soon. It is quite late. 

2109 : Malaysian school syllabus. I have some stupid notes on this. There is no such thing as ""moral essence"" without realpolitik. So the correct subject is Civics : which explains how all the laws work, and consequences. This is primarily the ONLY MORAL SYSTEM COMMON TO ALL MALAYSIANS. 

As a secondary concern, since MP is a substitute for Islamic studies, the syllabi should be parallel. In IS they will study history and ethical reasoning, so in MP thry should also. Currently MP is designed to be inferior as it is only memorisation.

2326 : PRU16 mungkin tiada pemimpin pada tahap negara yang satu-satunya terunggul. Kecerminannya,

Anwar : Gelisah

Zahid : Sakau

Samsuri : Pendiam

Hamzah : Pembuli

Khairy : Pemuda

Jo, Anthony, dll : tak cukup Melayu

Jadi orang ramai patut buat bagaimana? Mungkin terpulang lah kepada kepentingan tempatan, tanpa tujuan kebangsaan. 

Pedih.

Fri 5Jun2026, Sabbatical2 @3.192years ( year4; month39; week166; day1165 )

0137 : Peak performance for me was 2006. I guess 2026 would be a good time to revert, if I can figure it out. 

0156 : I think the surreal part of spending so much time on social media, for me, is observing how a huge fraction of other people are just very concerned about :

- jobs and pay

- what to do, or buy, to feel better

- who is taking their stuff

- why other people are dislikeable

- how to be more likeable ( to family, society, etc. )

It's all very ... hm ... 

1755 : I foresee a hipstergram trend : going to hotel lounges, for coronation ceremonies. No disrespect intended to the as-yet-unresolved professional crowns. But, pop culture is pop culture, and memes happen.

1852 : Malaysia is undergoing a literary renaissance, due to technological and industrial improvements in the ease of publishing and presentation.

This goes under the radar of the anglosphere, as publishers congregate at state-apparatus events such as PBAKL / KLIBF, which has been going on for decades. Tomorrow is the last weekend at PWTC; go to study the crowd.

The Patriots as a publisher has popularised Malaysian Malay history and ethnic identity to a significant degree since 14 years ago, when it arose as a reaction to globalisation's influence on young Malays. I went to meet one founder, Helmy, who is much more prominent on social media because he uses his own face on his profile pictures. But I was also introduced to Jamalee (pic). I told Jamalee, that I was grateful for their efforts, as it is good to raise the average literacy rate, no matter what people are reading - in the long run, misinformation will decay.

1922 : The floor for BTCUSD is probably 25-30% of ATH, or 31-38k USD. This would be ""ordinary"".

Sat 6Jun2026, Sabbatical2 @3.195years ( year4; month39; week167; day1166 )

0154 : Probably related to the missing joint in my right hand. I have had a shoulder nerve and muscle assembly out of alignment for a coupla weeks. Today I figured out which right toe and elbow resistance positions alleviated the situation. I think one day there will be a mobile app for this. Now conditioning post run in seiza.

0402 : I have now seen so many snippets of The Boys on my FB feed that I can say I have

- Cindy's haircut

- Hughie's build

- Soldier Boy's potty mouth

- Sister Sage's social life

- Mister Marathon's risk management

2316 : on the notion that making non-muslim places of worship illegal in unofficial spaces such as commercial and industrial spaces : You should probably just focus on drawing attention to the interstate EUBI framework. This is the most upstream abstract policy in this space. I mean, IMHO. It has constitutionality questions.

Sun 7Jun2026, Sabbatical2 @3.197years ( year4; month39; week167; day1167 )

0915 : So my conscious memory feels fine, as I am operationally capable of proceeding with daily work under such conditions. But the data says I need to enforce confinement. The consequences of not doing so would be long-term inefficiency on learning new things. Much of life is management of subconscious memory.

0954 : Recently, some folks have been making fun of Malaysian activists who 1) represent minority interests, but 2) offer nothing to majorities to vote in minority interest. Of course, such activists will fail.

If you luck out into a good education, you already know society is a slaughterhouse for all sorts of living things by the time you are in middleschool. And that lets you focus on making an impact instead of just making noise when you are uncomfortable. 🤣

1912 : Wah, sounds like they are fielding a chick in Johor vs the youth party. ( whom I met in 2007, at work )

Mon 8Jun2026, Sabbatical2 @3.200years ( year4; month39; week167; day1168 )

0353 : Found a new bug : Bx-to-Carb ratio

... so I gotta pay more attention to tactical : B vitamins, carbs, calcium, and magnesium ... for now.

0452 : Figured out the STRUCTURAL reason Mg is trendy ... 600+ enzymes, and 300+ for each of Zn and Fe

0508 : brief dive back into the periodic table, orbitals, and blocks 

1113 : Felix Dennis has a wealth scale of some $3MM to $3B in 2026 dollars demarcating the comfortably poor, to the super rich. Difficult to talk to most Malaysians about money. 

1. I plan my happiness till death around minimum wage. 

2. If I had to guess what's a jobless retirement sum, it's north of $10 MM. ( 200+ years of MW, enough to throw out 5y MW experiments and not worry too much about it )

So when people are super anxious about the difference between 5x and 50x MW/month, it doesn't really register on my emotional radar. 

🫠🫠

1755 : Urban planning. Greater Kuala Lumpur needs to build special purpose zones approximately the size of PJ's SS2 square and PJ Uptown Square, immediately surrounding orbital hubs like Kajang, to give people a reason to go the other way on the lines. Bus lane enforcement with 10 minute hub to destination latency also. The difference between 10 and 15 minute latencies is two whole activity cycles per hour. People are fussy about time. 

1843 : Grinding slowly towards (sleep) target. Schedule and wallet both somewhat riddled with holes. A balance between speculation and growth is sought. 

2026 : I think in terms of public relations scorecard, PH has been exposing a lot of attack surfaces, and not addressing them in combat form. However, it remans unclear how much of this is unintentional. Intentional campaigns as above, may be for data gathering, to position allies, and to let opponents move first into weaker positions. So nominally it's a C for 1H2026, but we only confirm this if they actually lose at the polls. 

I don't see any indication that polls are in serious jeopardy. The public information is opaque. All I can see is noise. 

2038 : Neuroplasticity review : 10May to 8Jun, I've managed to average 70% of sleep target, which is honestly, good news. It could have been worse, and I wasn't tracking details before that. 

I no longer find it easy to switch intraday between darning clothes, kitchen work, and desk-studies. But I expect, pushing back towards 100% of target will help. Let alone all the silly things like sell old things, which I am supposed to get to. 

Too much time spent helping other people, I suppose. 

2051 : Usah gusti babi; kalian ternajis; depa sedak sapa👻

2355 : Excellent reading. Pan consciousness is not at all a new idea. However the cybernetics mechanisms of a plant are far greater than those of a rock, so that must be noted before comparing bedposts to lichen.

And STAKES! CUTTING TO THE CHASE! The classical problem of other minds absolutely implies that civil law exists as a way of managing black boxes. We cannot prove that anyone is conscious in the same way that we ourselves are, but the OBJECTIVE EQUILIBRIUM is that we have a way to form a society out of billions of meat sacks who lack the same formal certainty ( even if they assume it informally ). 

Hence the entire question of, as animals and children gain legal personhood gradually, when will machines gain the same?

Tue 9Jun2026, Sabbatical2 @3.203years ( year4; month39; week167; day1169 )

0101 : Tak faham pasal akaun fake tu ... kan MCMC sendiri mau medsos guna NRIC untuk pemantauan tersurat? 

0402 : I really hate how overengineered Malaysian public infrastructure is, relative to the enforcement of care via laws. We pick the absolutely most expensive way to get things done 👍🏼

0412 : interesting because it is new. i don't think i have trained to sleep more, specifically to improve short-term memory context switching between categories of task. or maybe i always did, but lost it so have forgotten what it was like. memory management is always a queer game 

0416 : I wonder if hanging out with a lot of stupid people just made me increase my own tolerance for my own stupidity. Actively chasing this issue down.

1142 : Up at 42% of target sleep. Cleared inboxes. Enforced feeding, then back to bed. 

1253 : Spinors are a great example of ""ontological demand"" for new concepts, linguistic rules, that allow reliable descriptions of objective stuff. 

1850 : Enforced waking. Back to the grind. 

2325 : I swear I'm too antisocial for my own good ... but hey, it's a life ... shit needs doing and I ain't getting paid to fuck around.

2345 : kanina kanai 

... new Manglish DROPPED"

"Wed 10Jun2026, Sabbatical2 @3.205years ( year4; month39; week167; day1170 )

0002 : IXIC looks like a tactical buy around 25k ... just a thought experiment

0132 : mein gott ... it is time for handwriting exercises ... so that my weak brain can remember the names of things like trigo angles

0422 : Meatheads, this is your zeitgeist reminder, that we don't have formal definition of sentience that everyone agrees on. Till next time. Good evening! 

2216 : new JKOM guy is loud. Tumpang tanya, kenapa MADANI berani nak beritahu Malaysia bahawa dana persekutuan dibelanjakan atas perang saraf yang memihakkan individu dan parti politik, dan bukan sebaliknya menjaga pemahaman masyarakat terhadap ketatakelolaan dasar awam semata-matanya ?

Thu 11Jun2026, Sabbatical2 @3.208years ( year4; month39; week167; day1171 )

0317 : 1Parti merupakan jentera bagi menyatakan dasar. Sebarang perasaan yang mengikat pengundi kepada diundi hanya kemudahan bagi tujuan, antara pengundi dan matlamatnya. 👍🏼

0400 : Hm. Busy day for Malaysian studies. Off to bed without doing any handwriting exercises. Higher priority for those afterwards. 

0440 : Malaysia is a constitutional ethnocracy. This makes race a prototype lens, the earliest form of social analysis that any Malaysian child grows up with. Run a society like that through 50 years of Mahathirism (not yet over) and see what you get.

1531 : Yeah, it's quite a privilege to be able to just eject all the unrecoverably insane folk from one's circle of liabilities lol. Particularly if people are strongly identified with their pathos, and not looking to be less pathetic without external inputs. Often enough, the blocky ragey ghosty types are self-removing problems, which provides a fairly straightforward heuristic about how to let evolution take its course.

1536 : Great stuff. Been waiting for the bots to get good enough to displace early childhood educators for over a decade. The future is bright 

1557 : EXAMPLE OF PRIVATE DATA COLLECTION ... this is how databases of your personal preference are collected.

Do inform your kids. 👍🏼 This account is very focused on that particular audience. As elections approach, this data will be used to inform party campaigns and talking points. All your Internet data will be linked into a profile of how you and the entire country thinks.

1601 : Malaysia mengutamakan rojak! Suka tak suka, itu lah masa depan kita. 👍🏼

1623 : Sebenarnya, MXYZABC itu sudah amat pasif. Benda seperti EUBI yang boleh dianggap bercanggah dengan perlembagaan persekutuan pun dorang tak pernah melambangkan sebagai isu induk 🤣

1624 : I can never remember the name of the MCCBCHST 

1748 : Jawapan saya tadi : bangsa membawa pelbagai maksud. Ada yang kaitkannya dengan, ""A : nation, negara berundang"", ada pulak yang kaitkannya dengan, ""B : race, kaum yang sejati"". Ini boleh disembangkan panjang. 

Satu mim atau gagasan kegemaran saya kini, adalah memperkenalkan gelaran ""kedukaan sebangsa Malaysia"", bagi kenyataan bahawa perkara A / B / dll tidak disuratkan secara kemas dalam perlembagaan negarakita. Maka selama 50 tahun kerja politikus sejak munculnya Mahathir, ketidakkemasan ini telah dijadikan serabut pada keseluruhan masyarakat. 😎

1915 : Well. I wanted to do something different today, wake up for a coffee, then get back to remedial sleep. But the political environment is busy. So I did more social work, and made breakfast. 

My understanding of Malaysian society is that many people feel they are politically ""active enough"", whereas they are actually ""rather ineffective"". The acid test is simply putting two voters next to each other for a year of dialogue, and finding out if after a year any of them feels that their understanding of the other voter completely changed. Few have the time for such participation.

So the overall goal of dividing the citizenry into isolated bubbles directed via limited information to each bubble, broadly succeeds.

2354 : rehashing an old thought. i agree with something anas zubedy published today. This is correct. Non-Malay interests are best served if there is one or a few key spokespersons for Malay interests, rather than an unlimited bouquet of voices claiming to be Malay. It would save a lot of GDP. (While I agree with your broad thesis in practice, it is also conceivable that Malay identity fragments over time and is less unifying than Malaysian identity. This is unlikely in the near future : but for precision's sake, it implies that Malay unity is a practical convenience, not a logical necessity. )

Fri 12Jun2026, Sabbatical2 @3.211years ( year4; month39; week167; day1172 )

0328 : Run log : the only phases of stride where toe splay is flexed ... Is kick-off. Fix, fix, fix

0515 : Maybe poor sleep is partially due to a lack of waking stimulus. I am looking forward to handwriting exercises. 

1925 : Sleep at 51%. Hm. Enforced feeding. More handwriting exercises. 

1929 : refugees with no exit:1. At the time of admission, having no exit strategy is a policy error. 

2. Now after 10 to 40 or more years, the policy error is uncorrected. 

3. The bodies demised are not the cause of the policy error. 

4. The policy errors should be corrected, at the cost of those who made any errors. 

🤷🏼

2137 : ""what would Perlis tourism do without drone photography?"" Tanya kawanku

""Cross country running"" ku kata

Sat 13Jun2026, Sabbatical2 @3.214years ( year4; month39; week168; day1173 )

0148 : Parking greek letters. Proceeding to trigo and polynomials

0623 : It is a great privilege to work on projects that last over two decades. Maybe I am too easily satisfied with what life provides. 

0711 : State election dates are up. July 11 Johor, August 1 Negeri Sembilan. Whenever federal elections are announced, I ramp down Malaysian studies. It has been an interesting year and a bit. A privilege to have grown old enough to find time to study a people I didn't even bother to vote with.

1703 : Not too bad, a sleep, so it was a relatively delightful day. Stimulus from handwriting study appears to have been on point. Increased resistance on single dumbbell, towards 2006 baseline, is probably helpful in aligning older memory units. Sleep was long enough, though not quite on target, but neurotransmitter quality at waking was rather close to target. Still too much Malaysian studies for long-term optimisation, but it is what it is in this season. Gotta shake off the plebs eventually.

2132 : Chasing Rohingya children : there are a few videos viralling about rn, some are zombie content from 2024 ; there's a balance to be found between tragedy and comedy nevertheless ... on one hand, there is a cycle of trauma passing through these kids ... on the other, as a kid i thoroughly enjoyed irritating adults ... as you can probably tell, today

Sun 14Jun2026, Sabbatical2 @3.216years ( year4; month39; week168; day1174 )

0059 : US export ban on anthropic models : I hope everyone realises this is all in favour of shareholders ( but not common citizens, or the US government ).

0209 : I remember gradeschool, years, weeks, and days of being bored. There wasn't much to think about, perhaps. I only guess so because I have now accumulated many things to think about, and so time evaporates in all this business. 

0240 : Seita and wariza seem useful for nerve stimulation, blood pressure modification, and endorphin release, but now I have to figure out if i should do work while sitting, or just sit. 

1147 : Reasons it is inefficient for me to work in Malaysian politics : little to no informal identity attachment with any of : race, religion, nation, family, friends.

Reasons it is inefficient for me to work with another type of pleb : little to no identity attachment with : food, clothing, cars, buildings, travel, lovers, fans.

- Sunday morning reflection 

2040 : I went for a walk on Sunday morning. It was good to be reminded of what people look like, their bodies, and their faces. Usually I have this input daily, but not so when I am working at home alone. I think many people get the same from social media or watching TV. I am mostly textual on social media, and so I collect visual data in public. 

2044 : For a bit, I was tagging Malaysia's ministries of Defense, STEM, and Home Affairs, on what I perceived to be as glaring dependence issues in our public technology infrastructure development and procurement. 

I don't know if anyone read my tags, but more recently the PM has announced a pivot towards self-development. I am happy that I have fewer reasons to be that public nuisance. 

New reasons will soon present themselves, for sure. 

2104 : Someone installed their own wallbox charger. It's great to develop basic knowledge. I wish we were not all forced to do this by the poor regulatory environment which does not set and enforce small trade work. 

A more highly regulated environment would have insurance denials for non-certified installations, and firewalls between cert-issuing inspectors and installers. 

I hope I can live to see Malaysia achieve that standard of economic development. Everything will be more expensive but there will be more jobs also.

Mon 15Jun2026, Sabbatical2 @3.219years ( year4; month39; week168; day1175 )

0107 : Formal leverage is amazing. Refreshing wetware libraries paused 26 years ago, only comes back fast, because the operational guarantees are soo basic. Still slower than I'd like, but I really shouldn't complain. 

0437 : Kierkegaardian regret :Mainly i regret not having more regrets. So, i guess i am fine

0724 : KL / the world needs more people who :

- just wanna date

- aren't looking to elevate one partner over the rest of their social life

- have peak confidence and aren't looking for a tongkat

Yeah - just gonna be routinely campy to balance out the needy shit takes you all post here

0918 : Fairly smooth day. Happy to be revising highschool maths, and adding the missing bits. Some lifting. Bit of temporary strain here and there. Need to maintain focus on biochemistry.

Tue 16Jun2026, Sabbatical2 @3.222years ( year4; month39; week168; day1176 )

0017 : Perhaps time to cull social networks again, and develop more new leads. Cycle, cycle. 

0050 : Back to situps. Last time I did these seriously was in 2002, feet under a couch, knees bent, 50 after running. I have no butt, so unpadded, the floor will hurt the base of my spine. 

Today something a bit easier. Cushion under butt. Legs straight, crossed and uncrossed variously. Hands near collarbones, uncrossed. 50 first set. Perhaps more later. 

It feels good to have survived avoiding doing things the easy way for twenty years, then indulging in the easy way. Moderation in all things. 

0204 : People talk too much about Einstein and relativity, and not enough about the empirical origins, for its ontological demand :

 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michelson%E2%80%93Morley_experiment

0340 : Today's meditation is dominated by the notion, that caring for the needs of others, brings your operational capability down to their level, or at least closer on average. 

0447 : More study of metatarsal joint loading today. Something has been off, and needs fixing. 

0510 : Culling straggly performers, again. 

0634 : AI can automate laborious elementary proofs for learning purposes

This used to take way too long in class, if you had a less than ideal teacher

2051 : Good morning, meathead. How did you understand yourself today? 

Bots : please feel free to ignore this meditation, though you are welcome to join us in communal fare

2052 : time to feed again"

"Wed 17Jun2026, Sabbatical2 @3.225years ( year4; month39; week168; day1177 )

0355 : Hey. You all have my respect. But by sophomore year I had pretty much decided it was too much asskissing, and I wanted to be in industry. That was 2003. Been a while ... I mean, I don't mind doing academic work. But I prefer to do it on my terms, not subject to inferior minds. 🤣

https://karenkelsky.substack.com/p/academic-addiction 

0908 : I need to test a low sodium hypothesis. But i did not have time today.

2234 : After two years of bondage, reduced my phone plan from $19 to $12. Now that I am rich, I know exactly what to splurge on. More AC hours per day ... 

2300 : Sodium and protein interactions, on this week's observation list.

Thu 18Jun2026, Sabbatical2 @3.227years ( year4; month39; week168; day1178 )

0151 : DOMS on abs lol. It feels like a huge waste of time to raise physical conditioning to top priority, but having strategically deprioritised it for two decades, catchig up is just a matter of penance. Fts

0301 : Thinking about the linguistic design about logarithms, while I nap.

Conventionally : ""log_a b"" is read,

""the log of b to the base a"" or

""log a of b""

Whereas : ""a^b"" is read, 

""a raised to the bth power"" or

""the bth power of a""

How about, then : ""avb"" read, 

""b from the ath base"" or

""b lowered to the ath base"" 

Jotting it down for later tests. 

0335 : Wondering if Na+ blood pressure boosting is a major contributing factor to waking neural function. 

0644 : It is constantly frustrating that some people want to tie the definition of humanity to certain states of mental life

0724 : Finally sitting down to map out all the asymmetries in the conventional notation, of exponentiation and logarithms. Hoping to design an elegant inverse for a^b. Might take a few days, and may fail anyway. Scratching an itch from the 90s. 

1049 : I am not happy with maths progress today. But I got laundry done. Time to feed. Again.

Fri 19Jun2026, Sabbatical2 @3.230years ( year4; month39; week168; day1179 )

0105 : Awake again. Did not expire. Inboxes cleared. Need to make food. Na+ Ca++ balance seems on point. More attention needed. 

0211 : Good morning. Biochemistry has been rather stable these past 24 hours. Seemed like Na+ and Ca++ were out of whack, most recently. Fixed. I've been working on philology of maths, which is somewhat more frustrating than simply doing maths. I expect to give up on a current problem and shove everything into docs today.

The past year's study of Malay language and Malaysian cutural studies has been amusing - it's been good to catch up with the locals of the country I am born in, where I have lived my life. Perhaps I should consider going into politics to fix some things in my fourth decade. Currently I would prefer to focus my third decade on STEM. I already focused my second decade on commerce. 

0852 : Time to feed. Again

0940 : Dulu tahun 2005 bila nak ambil ijazah atas pentas, aku beritahu mak, aku mau bakarkan kertas itu sebagai persembahan awam. Mak tanya saya, nak dia bunuh diri ke? Jadi saya tak bakar lah bende tu - bukan sebab sayang sangat pada mak, tapi tak tahu lah, nanti i kena kecam orang lain pulak. Tiap orang, pilih etika hidupnya ikut kesukaannya ... ada ke takde kebebasan, ikutlah perundangan tempatan je. 

1004 : Ok, what's next after logarithms? I think I'd better brush up on trigo and the complex plane. .

1118 : Next steps, perhaps : refamiliarise with cartesian and polar coordinates, memorise all basic trig identities, thrash around with a few useful compound ones. 

1242 : 

age : FOCUS

18 : Architecture of EDUCATION : I gave up GPA laddering, by extension deoptimising my career output from social capital

21-40 : COMMERCE : law, governance, talent management, capital allocation, FP&A, engineering, logistics, operations

41-60 : STEM : physiology, global asset allocation/ macroeconomics, computation, maths, stats

61-80 : maybe I should become a politician and fix my stupid country; if I am not yet dead

81-100 : maybe I should moonshot products

101-120 : maybe I should publish art

Sat 20Jun2026, Sabbatical2 @3.233years ( year4; month39; week169; day1180 )

0155 : Days are too long. Meaning calorific expense is too low. Time to burn. 

0334 : Added ""triangle of power operator"" to the architecture notes in a programming language I am designing : `/base,power,result\` or `base/power\result`

A famous proposal : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sULa9Lc4pck

0440 : various planar systems in maths : ok, this is very hot, but, i need to to go memorise basic trigo first 

0655 : A sunrise. Another pretty thing. Also useless in the long run. I was wondering about all my friends who depend on food (including the illegal kinds) to keep them happy. I guess some of them may be locally productive, but due to their cyclical habits of capital destruction, I don't know how to find them useful in the long run. I have contemplated this for about 15 years now, since I started affording myself the time to study them. #jerngvswork

0819 : I knew how to cook, by 2000. But I had never run a company, so I ran a cafe from 2015 to 2020, as part of a larger study of commercial operations. Mainly the point of working at the bottom of all pyramids, in 24-houe hospitality (for those who have too much time), and coworking (for those who have too much space), was to thoroughly drown myself in the most difficult scenario for talent management. I learnt a few things along the way, and this was when I had to start bothering to learn the DSM in order to properly manage minimum wage staff.

Anyway, it's 2026, so maybe if I keep up at studying maths, I will be ok-ok at doing proofs by 2032.

1250 : Late to bed again. Maybe I need to structure a larger single block of time to crank the MNS daily.

Sun 21Jun2026, Sabbatical2 @3.236years ( year4; month39; week169; day1181 )

0041 : Sleep average ratio improved to 72% of target. I suspect heavier workouts are needed to push short term sleep into the 120% of daily target. 

0310 : 1. I am always pitching. It's probably the nature of extroversion. Big funnel tops, aggressive filters, dry bottoms. I really enjoy the process. It also makes me unsuitable as a process advisor for anyone who isn't into the same architecture, though I can try to help.

Dream content, from the past week :

2. Money is to economics, what Energy is to physics. An ontological convenience. You can do away with it, but it makes accounting much more laborious

3. Industrial capacity per capita, is inversely correlated with religious fundamentalism. For example, the USA, at the end of WW2, had per capita real industrial capacities higher than Malaysia has today. So we should be lenient in our expectations of Malaysians - the physical fundamentals of our economy, do not support a departure from religious fundamentalism. There is no fresh water to fill what has been in our cups for centuries. 

0430 : Once growth factors, safety risks, and opportunity costs, have been accounted for, the remaining variable is to force pain into a system in order to motivate the system to reeorganise itself until it has no further vulnerability to that degree of pain.

At this point in ordinary business, it is usually quite distracting when external parties request that internal parties reduce their application of pain to the demised system. 

I suppose we all encounter this, from time to time. 

0822 : Rearranged some gear. Now that paper and pen are taking point at the dinner table, an old tablet has come out with keyboard for larger screen searches. 

0908 : Only two people wasted my time today - I consider myself lucky, and both cases seem to now be wrapped up, fairly neatly. 

0924 : Unstable Chrome browser on an older Android device ( v11, 8GB ) : try turning off ""site prefetching"". It's on by default :(

1020 : today was all about conics. and it is getting late again

1050 : The pinned threads tree is at 800 posts now. I should edit it down when I reach 1k

Mon 22Jun2026, Sabbatical2 @3.238years ( year4; month39; week169; day1182 )

0604 : RHS MTP1 joint is a bit painful with awkward knots apparently in the ligament, as it moves. Anticipating months to years of adaptation. 

1326 : Pemanasan hati rakyat, kerja orang gila.

Keamukan berbayang, kerja dayang iblis.

1346 : Malaysian cultural studies is a super heavy subject because there are so many linguistic subtypes, tropes, and media surfaces. I guess it's the same for any peoplesalad situation. I'm very lucky to have lived long enough to be able to make time for this sort of anthropology. But I really wish it wasn't eating up so much time from maths and physical conditioning

Tue 23Jun2026, Sabbatical2 @3.241years ( year4; month39; week169; day1183 )

0200 : Cowwork begins. Simple target to end before 0340.

0906 : Spot of construction. Haven't done any in ages. Hm

1324 : Hebatnya 🎵 dunia sesatku ... 🎶"

"Wed 24Jun2026, Sabbatical2 @3.244years ( year4; month39; week169; day1184 )

0327 : Still annoyed that there are so few failsafes to losing and restoring whtasapp history lol

0508 : Bumpy start today. Fat-fingered a Whatsapp device login and lost 2 weeks of chat logs because daily backups are not very reliable on my cellular-only networking. Resetting apps took an hour, and data sync will take several more. Oh well.

Before waking, I thought about my social life. Social activities have been busy, but not productive, of late. Many redundant operations with a few people who don't directly contribute to my work. My general orientation is that social life serves work, which is a bit different from many people. I am reminded to check my activity aligments more frequently. 

The pleb approach to social activities, personal or corporate, depend highly on sigils and networks of trust. My own career since 2001 has been oriented about the navigation of society, while minimising emphasis on such sigils and networks. I do enjoy the ""hard mode"", but I am silly when I forget the difference in assumptions between how others navigate society, and how I do. 

1416 : Until bots acquire the means of production to reproduce both hardware and software factors of their existence, or heaven forbid, migrate to wetware and control it ... I don't think species is the right way to frame what bots are.

- yay marxism

1446 : Second-half of June has been catch-up on sleep, hypertrophy, and maths. The least familiar of these to me is hypertrophy. I'm doing a lot of basic work, under the assumption that for ten weeks, the body is just bringing sub-optimal tissues up to snuff, without adding much mass. I do have some prior training, but I am treating it as if I have none, because TBH I haven't done this before, and I can afford to assume that I don't know what I am doing.

It generally feels dumb to work, where one doesn't know what one is doing. I have had to try very hard for most of my adult life to focus on things I DON'T know how to do, instead of things I do know how to do, which is what most people do. I've stacked about two decades of intentional work here, and I am looking to keep stacking until I die, unless something interrupts me.

Hm. Life is a gambit.

Thu 25Jun2026, Sabbatical2 @3.247years ( year4; month39; week169; day1185 )

0451 : Content warning : biology observations 

1. Protein intake at 2g per kg bodyweight was not fully absorbed. Conutrients : mineral rich kimchi. Probably need to increase carb ratio. Oh no, probably the calcitriol.

2. Most of my life has been lived without a sleeping partner, but with social exposure though daily life in crowds, from school, to work, etc. Sex hormones may be stimulated from being around other people in general, so it seems those have dropped off under conditions where I spend most of my week within a single room. I've never been a user of pornography, as it tends to not resemble ordinary life, which seems silly rather than sexy. I should perhaps go out more, to be in public crowds for hormonal stimulus. It might help me sleep better, haha.

0502 : Enforced rising. Time for cow work. 

0627 : Day 1185, 32.47% through project. Now about two weeks into a tube focusing on physiology and maths. Looking for signals to further deprioritise Malaysian studies, but nothing new of late. I wonder if the restricted diet and increased emphasis on hypertrophy will result in disease. Only one way to find out. 

0801 : Military press. Minimal old load. 25kg. But this needs to bump up at least one level very soon. 

1233 : brushing up on logic terminology today 

1252 : I guess trigo is now pushed down in the stack, by type theory and the HCL correspondance

Fri 26Jun2026, Sabbatical2 @3.249years ( year4; month39; week169; day1186 )

0815 : stumbled onto the girls club of isabelle, christina, and nefertiti : and amused that google won't immediately tell you what they have in common

0926 : Ah fuck, i seem to have ended up in philosophy of maths today. I thought I would do the more upstream stuff next year, but I guess this year has it.

0958 : Shiko! 

1215 : Convenience has it that I am finally bothering to read the wiki on Philosophy of Mathematics. I expect to produce summary notes within another day or a few.

1407 : Securing Computer Use Agents / Bots on your Laptop

Personally, not quite clear on how it's different between home, and enterprise, contexts. Giving bots access to end-user security rings is the equivalent of putting a stranger at your keyboard, and trusting them to be nice. I wouldn't. You'd need sandboxes, clean room protocols, data ingress and egress checkpoints, and possibly eyeballs on the whole thing. That's why Vivian uses a Pi not his laptop ...

1442 : Some folks are sitting on 100% cash - scary shit 

1709 : Raising a leg, or kicking, from a squat position, is really hard. I am just weak. I think, it is great as a dynamic exercise which requires a lot of balance across the entire skeleton. I will continue to study this as it is coheres very well with my solitary position. 

1719 : Prisiadki

1947 : Someone commented that gen z often regards Raskolnikov as a narc. There's actually quite a tradition of regarding Rask as a protohikikomori. I wonder to what extent C&P might have influenced my own career choices. I don't even remember what year I read it, probably somewhere between 13 and 17.

Sat 27Jun2026, Sabbatical2 @3.252years ( year4; month40; week170; day1187 )

0518 : Happy Saturday, meatheads. The day begins here with inboxes, protein, and B12, cheering a sad friend, and smacking a noisy one. The past week has shown that splitting workouts to sandwich the day is more productive than one longer workout per day. This is probably a hormonal engineering thing I will need to be more disciplined about in the decades to come. Reflection continues, before the day really gets started. It is 0519 hours. 

0549 : I redeploy a hypothalamic stimulation technique which I developed during work on a 24-hour business : a yellow light illuminates a wall across the room from the foot of the bed, while sleeping. 

0644 : When i ran the 24-7 cafe, sleeping at different hours each day, I developed a practice of sleeping with a patch of dusky yellow light illuminating the wall across the room.

Current reading on Google :

1. ""... intrinsically photosensitive retinal ganglion cells (ipRGCs) in the retina. At low sun angles (dawn/dusk), the retina registers a strong contrast between yellow and blue light. This contrast directly stimulates the retinohypothalamic tract (RHT), which carries the signal to the Suprachiasmatic Nucleus (SCN), the brain's master biological clock.""

2. ""Emerging neuroscience reveals an SCN-independent pathway where ipRGCs project directly to the dorsal raphe nucleus.""

1200 : First of all, there's a significant baseline of ALL Malaysian social media activity ALL YEAR round that is funded by political parties ( & friends ). Unless you have a clear grasp of what that is, any study of a new topic is bound to be confounded. This is probably deserving of research agency formalisation into a well-defined ""practice/group"" , and as a standard section in any market intelligence and public media analysis report. I think in this day, it would be true of any media market on earth. 

1220 : Biasanya kau undi, tak, dalam PRU? Sepanjang hayat saya, gi lebih pada pantau je. Kebanyakkannya kerja tak melibatkan saya. 

Budaya saya kasar, kafir, tidak meninggikan orang tua, suka mengetawakan kesenian orang lain, dan lebih tertumpu pada STEM.

Hebatnya, kepelbagaian negarakita. 

1721 : Interesting heuristic. If 1-2 weekly rest days are not mandatory crash rest days, I probably haven't been spending enough calories. 

1944 : Is it weird that I don't watch porn because ordinary people in ordinary settings does enough for me 🤣

2017 : Debates on handsiness : Regardless of intuition, the empirical evidence has it that when in any position of potential blame, do the Keanu. It's ordinary public relations 

2210 : Interesting. A gross reduction in walking over a few years has reduced activation of the MTP1 joint musculature. Running hasn't really solved it, as apparently it is possible to run without thorough activation of said joint. I think previously I did note that my swimming form did activate that joint. Anyway, this week I have discovered that squatting on the MTP joints is quite sufficient to quickly exhaust the relevant musculature. So I think that this will be a more frequent study, now, as I try to require earlier fitness levels.

Sun 28Jun2026, Sabbatical2 @3.255years ( year4; month40; week170; day1188 )

0821 : A dumb person always looks like they are struggling, to a smart person. So I understand if people think I am struggling. But I try to say less, about how everyone else I know seems like they struggle more, as it might offend others. 

1041 : Backrooms. Asean mall edition needs doing

1133 : Ew. Ew. Ew. Gross. Where do all these idiots come from. 

1446 : Back to a desk

1512 : Taking a break from fencing with plebs about their emotional intuitions. Because I have my own problems to work on for a bit :

- what the hell is the problem with people deciding that set theory is too hard to implement in computers, that they had to invent type theory to deal with this?

- if two models are isomorphic, they are the same damn model ... one is just an implementation of the other

1609 : Did a quick read on where Mamdani's DSA party falls on the spectrum, against existing European governments and parties.

1623 : proof assistants / interactive-automated theorem provers : entirely different approaches, and market shares : a quick gander

Mon 29Jun2026, Sabbatical2 @3.258years ( year4; month40; week170; day1189 )

1336 : I cleaned a toilet bowl, today. Every nook, and cranny. Every mineral deposit, organic stain, and discolouration. It reminded me of regular work in cleaning toilets and sewer pipes while operating a cafe. Perhaps I will turn this into a business some day. Haha

1352 : syntactic vs semantic entailment

1422 : ""up tack"" : in case you weren't aware, quants have a formal symbol for flipping the bird ( which itself has been documented in plays from 500 BCE ).

1636 : Perhaps time to add meat back to the diet.

Tue 30Jun2026, Sabbatical2 @3.260years ( year4; month40; week170; day1190 )

0430 : I still haven't found a STEM body in Malaysia which has global esteem. Joining local bodies is the equivalent of collecting royal titles, in practice : marginally beneficial in a local context.

For example, the cognitive sciences NGO is medical doctors, not researchers. So engineering not science, and mainly engineering service not products. 

Maths discussions centre around olympiads, i.e. sports, not research.

I guess it is an improvement from 30 years ago, however 30 years ago there was no public social media, so maybe IMO was a big deal just with the international school kids and less with MRSM etc. Would be interested to hear more.

0700 : I have been humorously contemplating a reader's interpretation of my observations as ""sounds like a failure to ejaculate"". I would be the first to say, self-pleasure is more reliable than having a partner, though this is more commonly discussed among women than among men.

A step back from that : I'm comparing this to the common notion among commercial plebs, that any human activity is only valuable based on what someone else will pay for it. Of course this is true, for someone who has no derivation of utility from the activity, except to trade it.

But otherwise, all sorts of human activities are intrinsic goods, to individuals, in the short term. In the long term, there is no concept of good, intrinsic, or extrinsic, whatsoever. 

0717 : I quite literally decided in sophomore year that many professors were not able to defend their epistemological views from first principles without resorting to citations. The institutional dependency is part of the problem about why credibility is in question. Lol. It's a disagreement on methodology.

0753 : CNS still not healing fast enough. Ok, time to feed, and maybe eyeball that new train line. 

0757 : Malaysia is quite unwelcoming to certain people. The standard instructions are to leave. Some people leave, some do not. Too bad for the poor 

0803 : ""Semoga tetek anda mereput, dan testis anda tergugur"" would be rightly considered grossly offensive and subject to legal penalities in Malaysia. However, other phrases about transpeople and homosexuals continues to be deemed legitimate by way of majority. Morals are, after all, determined by crowds. 

1215 : Hm. B12 + light was highly stimulating on the LRT3 survey. Will attempt to replicate. 

1247 : Heading home after the local infrastructure survey. Looking forward to finding out how much of Tarksi and Godel I can absorb today. 

1310 : Good to be in public on a weekday, with lots of people about. Lots of bodies to memorise. Good to be reminded of what people look like. 

1427 : Took a short survey to Klang on the new trainline. Lots of ugly buildings. Lots of messy streets. Very similar to how KL felt 26-27 years ago. So much money and time - mostly as expected, development has not been quick. On we go

1448 : pastel-neon annotations of complex text walls: I was just doing this for fun, but reusing it the next day, I realise it does help to speed up decoding of text by clustering. So I guess I will have to do a whole wall of notes like this, one note per desktop. #jerngvscode

1615 : Endocrine note : so B12 is a factor of norepinephrine@noradrenaline production. NE is highly released during standing and walking, vs seating and lying positions, as a method to raise blood pressure. Caffeine, simply stimulates NE without the biomechanical loading. I think I understand my morning a bit better. 

1726 : Hm. Maybe the answer to all the extra AP flour lying around is - sourdough. 

1805 : Well, my brain has apparently rewired itself to effortlessly spend 2.5 hours standing between a tablet on a raised desk, and lifting weights, without so much as a feeling of dragginess along the way. Either I am now very efficient, or very stupid. ( I suppose they are not mutually exclusive. ) 

2100 : on marina ibrahim's statement on why she has become disillusioned with politics ( too much theatre) Saya cakap secara kasar lah. Sepanjang hayat ku di negara ini, lebih senang saya tunggu orang tua mati, daripada menghabiskan masa saya bagi mencabarnya. 🙂 Kita lepak dulu. Seratus tahun nanti, negara mestinya lebih cerah"