Leadership

I think on culture and fit, it is a matter of aligning people's motivations and emotions. First you need to know what you are, and then work to exorcise the other types from your life.

For example, I am diametrically opposed to one kind of person: the type that is looking for a reason to stay alive, who need to be told what to do. So if I am reporting to them, I will simply follow orders to a tee, and not debate. If they are reporting to me, I will ask them when they are going to stop sweating the small stuff, and focus on what I need from them. These people are natural followers, and they belong in what I call Fight Club companies led by Tyler Durden types. Masses of manipulable serfs, a great visionary on top. I don't even want these people in the species, whereas I do acknowledge that much of civilisation depends on their input. I think the only way to coexist is to use them wisely. I would rather not be in the same organisation as them.

Whereas I work very smoothly with people who aren't looking with a reason to attach themselves to groups, or goals. This tends to make them indifferent to any variety of goals provided to them. And that means it is much easier to do work because you talk about work, not about them most of the time. These people tend to know what they want, or that they don't really want anything, and have the cognizance to speak that mind and execute their (trivial, self-acknowledged) preferences ruthlessly.

I feel the split is 5% vs 95% of the population. So I feel, which is to exaggerate, I can always do more to find the 5%.

Yawn 35

23 Jan 2018 - 21 Mar 2018

Caught up on almost two months of journals. Mind a little more settled. Challenges otherwise no less severe.

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Generally I take it for granted that the nation is only fixable via the formal political process at a rate that I am not willing to participate in. Meanwhile, I will try to fix other things. :P

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Breakfast, after turmoil. :)

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Infirm.

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"I think we should do X at my office."
"So, you need to propose the end-result in terms of top-, or bottom-line value, with a deadline, to the gatekeeper. Propose something that is relatively effortless and risk-free for the gatekeeper. If you manage that, chances are the next two questions will be "why," and "how." How, should not reduce your daily utility to your colleagues. You could ask for a new resource to report to you. Why, is up to you."

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Beer goggles. Helping unreconcilable individuals have sex since the beginning of time.
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Guilt goggles. Helping unelectable individuals get into office since the beginning of time.
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Venture capital. Helping unbankable business models go to market since the beginning of time.
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Human sympathy. Helping dirt feel good about its place in the universe since the beginning of time.
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The concept of time. Helping talentless poets wax lyrical since...

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People who allow themselves to be affected by criticism, deserve it. People who allow themselves to monetise it, may or may not deserve it. I am not going to be surprised if the entire brouhaha was an orchestrated campaign. Pity they didn't plan a collaboration ahead of time?

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Wow, I really hate sugary, fatty, foods. Old news. Recent reminders. Can't say what. :) I am heading home with a Diet Coke. I feel like trailer trash. I sure ate like trailer trash today.

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Better sleep recorded. Appears to be linked to increased calorific intake and strength training. Some parts feel like shit however, perhaps more kinesthesia required.

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It is a good day for writing.

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Be honest, if you believe not in peace. :)

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Peace is a luxury. (I am happy to indulge in, for now.) #callmewhentheresawar

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Just to be clear, if we're #undirosak, we're voting BN, passively. But we don't mind if they lose, we'll just vote for PH, passively, the next time. :)

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Tired.

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On: political parties trying to woo fence-sitter.

Of course it's about feelings. We don't care. Give us a reason to care. Seduce us. Or make fun of our complacency - aha, at least we agree on one thing!

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Another day, another newsfeed full of circlejerks. Need to heal faster and get back to the unspeakable.

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On depression: I have the opposite problem. I've never ideintified with depressiacs, and I find that I place little value on non-analytical people - I literally subclass them. But I try my best to be fair to all elements in my daily roles in society. ✌ (Caveat: you have to know that this also includes active destruction of the parts of my own mind which are less analytical. Never settle. [Afterthought: easily expected side-effect of taking apart and reconstructing the information structures that are the various parts of my psyche, actively, from adolescence all the way into my thirties... I remain acutely aware of how fragile minds can be, and that they can unravel given specific impetus. We are, simply, frail.])

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I miss you, my Mia. :)

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Tissue damage and pain at three sites. Not healing fast enough. But at least one mystery is solved.

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On BN vs Undirosak: As observed by others, he stands to lose the most by a broad movement of the those on the left and right, to the middle. BN stands to lose the most. PH just stands to lose again.

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Where do I buy an RCCB on a Sunday?

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On Ibrahim Ali saying that he got boosts from Dr. M back in the day:

HAHAHAHA.
So you see, the game approaches a limit.
HAHAHAHA.

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For minorities, the political struggle is never one of deciding what you want to be as an individual, only one of deciding how much you want to interact with the mode. Thinking of an op-ed I wrote for Malaysians, which I'll link here in a week.

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Awake. Grave concerns, rise from their supposed resting places. Engage.

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Undirosak: That's the point of the program. Insert disruption.

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IIRC (and I will have to dig up old journals to confirm this) before 2008's election, I guessed it would take three more cycles for not-BN parties to have their first decent chance at beating BN. I figured that significant loss would be sustained by BN in 2008 to demonstrate weakness. I anticipated that the 2008+1 election (eventually, 2013) would admit more not-BN voices to Parliament, and that it would take the strengthened efforts of not-BN voices to admit greater policy effects that would demonstrate presence. Only after those efforts, could there be a non-trivial chance of removing BN's 51% majority in the 2008+2 (yet to happen) election. Oh well, let's see what happens. Nope, still not voting this round. Feel free to steal my vote. Even if I consent to it, it doesn't make it legal for you to do so.

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Insufficient intelligence. More food and sleep required.

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I just asked my Bangladeshi friend about Bangladesh's immigration and localisation policies.

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Off to have brunch, and co-writing session. It is work for some, not for me. I spend my personal time, trying to be representative of myself in society. Just a little. It is dangerous, and difficult, to be a prophet of apathy. However, that is just a small social rest and recreational thing. Most of my urgent concerns, I can say little about them here, for now.

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Enough recapping my role as a citizen, for a morning. Back to that public life which is unspeakable.

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"Oh look, they're hiring."
"Don't talk about all those roles - everyone knows that already. Ask them, *what are the 2-3 key individual leaders that you want now, to address roadblocks in growth or discipline?*"
"Growth or discipline?"
"Top or bottom line. Every organisation has people stationed on these domains."
"What's your station?"
"I'm lazy, you can guess."

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Exhausted and busy. Not healing fast enough. Reflecting on status, and planning daily (personal) operations. Many parties to navigate. Perhaps first, food and the presumption of calm.

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The louder they scream, the less attention they get. :)

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"Everyone's asking me, what's the point of talking about the #undirosak movement (UR)?"
"Well, I think people are missing a core point about another constituency. The people who genuinely don't care (DC). And you're confusing the DC group with the UR group, and they're fundamentally different."
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"How do we make this funny?"
"I don't know about funny. Here's the crux of it. Anyone who believes that spoiling votes makes the country better is taking a foolish gamble (URpoz). They might get the outcome that they want, but otherwise, I do think the critics are right: the means do not easily lead to the ends, and most members of the URpoz group are indeed affected by an accute temper tantrum, not by masterstrokes of strategic nationbuilding brilliance."
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"This has been said before."
"Yes, but it is not always said with the proper nuance. One of the things to note is that UR is bigger than URpoz. Some members of UR don't believe that UR will make the nation better by improving the quality of political representation in Malaysia."
"What the fuck are the others' motivations for being in UR, then?"
"Accute temper tantrum, without the delusion of a positive outcome."
"Oh, shit. They're just mad."
"Precisely. They're URnegz."
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"Then who are the DC?"
"DCs are genuinely nonchalant. They will watch the country burn, and laugh themselves silly, till the day they die."
"Why!"
"Heath already answered that."
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"And what's the point of talking about this, again?"
"Culture, my friend. The educated politician is aware that politics is not primarily a game of reason, nor is it primarily a theatrical endeavour, nor is it a social ministry."
"Correct, many politicians are all about the pocket money."
"No, wait, let me finish. The educated politician is keenly aware that this business is a game of seduction."
"Ah, sex."
"Kinda, sorta. The word 'rhetoric' refers to the classical art of persuasion. The boy is not always in love with you. The girl may not always care that you exist. The non-binary object of your desires may simply have other preoccupations, than your own."
"And the point again?"
"Most local politicians don't behave like they want to seduce the URpoz, URnegz, or DCs. And that is a mark of barbarianism. No culture. Temper tantrums everywhere. Like Clive, this is where I check out. I'm a bona fide DC (at least I pretend to be). These politiclowns can "now, fuck off, and die.""

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Forever grateful to FamilyMart as the broad distributor of fresh salads 24-7. Let's see how long that lasts.

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I believe in the Darwin Awards. May the odds be ever in my favour. Particularly today.

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All jobs are temporary. That is the nature of competition. Eventually, we age, and die. Hoping for more? :)

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I anticipate spending most of February in bed.

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Haven't attended a live gig in a while.

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"How is this not subtle? It's just a yellow dress."
"As in, if you walk in an average crowd of people... the yellow is easy enough to pick out. So you've made yourself a target for predators. Same shit with revealing clothes regardless of how much you prefer men to ignore them. You can't just assume the absence of men that are sensitised to revealing clothes. So you can't assume the absence of mammals that are sensitised to bright yellow clothes."
#timesup #timetodie #noescape #outliers

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I miss having time to study neuroscience. :( But all in good time. :)

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I've spent a good many minutes these days, thinking about my fellow people and our society, as I go about my daily business, as I have for years on end. For years, placing no esteem on the quality of thought exhihited by most individuals whom I meet. Holding a moderated polity as I coddle disdain (inescapeable) for the effervescent sentiments of the casual citizen, who does not organise their basal reactions, who truly believes that the experience of mammalian life is an amazing thing. Ah, children, most days, I find myself amused. Some days, I am too tired to look for more clever people. But cleverness is to each her own, and she who believes that love and life are fundamental to the human experience, will always be right in her own eyes, regardless of my considerations of she and such as trivia.

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Anyone in DJ have a soldering iron and solder I can borrow and steal respectively?

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I was thinking about sex and masturbation, in the context of how the general public is starting to take more seriously the implementation of machines as sex partners. Many still find it difficult to believe. But knowing how simple are the fundamental structures of human consciousness, I have taken it for granted for years already that this is only a matter of a few years into the future. Take for example, the intermediate target of designing a machine that delivers the ability to be a fulfilling dance partner. The lower target is a dancer that can be led, the higher target is a dancer that leads. Do you find this difficult to imagine? We already have machines that learn how to anticipate our movements in three dimensions, better than any human can: in boardgames, the third dimension is time. The leap to the fourth dimension is not far. Dogs already do it. Pets and many human partners do not do more than read and interface with naked APIs left unsecured by naive humans. This is the crux of the matter. I often write about how AI will deliver mentors and coaches, guides, and counsellors, pokemon, and the magical familiars straight out of the literary canon of fantastic texts, to individuals, unprecedentedly lowering the cost of human development and education. But also, with the angels come demons, and with good teachers come groomers and conniving spirits, and that, is the stark issue at hand. Ah, humanity, when our insecurities have been completely resolved by our newest partners, thence we will also have given up the freedom to secure ourselves from new friends and newest families. These are the (bleak) supernovae, that come.

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On scaremongering national debt: I won't admit to have properly brained it, so any comment I make at this time about other people's diatribes should be construed as non-technical in quality.

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Must heal faster.

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Hahaha. Challenge accepted. For now.

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Well done, Vishen. Finally something I can agree with. haha
(milogate)

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What is point of living? I think the point of asking such questions serves us best by unnerving those unlikely to understand it. But is that civil? That is a great question.

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People I still don't understand (except when I make a point to):
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- the ones excited about food above all
- ditto travel above all
- ditto love about all
- ditto nation above all
- ditto deity above all
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And of course, knowing this, I never expect such to understand me. But it would be great if we could get along for fun and profit. That's the infrastructure of society.

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Some people fight wars. Others debate about whether they are worth fighting. — feeling bored.

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One of those days, when there is too much to do. Well, unto death, keep doing. I don't know why people who are dominated by their fear and trembling find it unhealthy that we studiously avoid these distractions (it takes a lot of effort!). If you crave death, kill yourself. If you crave life, take from others. If you crave nothing, simply allow the forces that be to play their part. What motivates you?

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I find it concerning that many people react to signs of distress in their own bodies, with the amplification of dread. Empathy across such crowds makes for loud, noisy, gaps in productivity. The problem is not that there is suffering in the world that must be reduced, therefore meriting a war. The problem is that many are not at peace with their own suffering. Pain and nausea are natural processes. If you do not learn to accept these, you cannot come to terms with the basic realism of your mortality and impermanence. It is morally objectionable (a normative view) to take pleasure in the distress of a body. It is morally objectional to take pain in the same. The nature of bodies is to be in pain. This isn't a preference of mine - this is the definition of bodies in the grand scheme of things: competitive nodes in competition. Bear in mind that competiton is not mutually exclusive with cooperation. Ah, simple thoughts to start the day. It is anticipated to be a long day.

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Recently it occurred to me how much depressed people aren't using their brains properly. You're supposed to think about bad things all the time - but if you let that make you feel bad, it is depression. Don't let it make you feel bad - if you do, you are missing the point. Thinking about bad things is a good thing. It is supposed to be a creative process - in business we call this planning and risk management. Think about bad things, it's good for you, if you can handle it. (If you can't maybe you need the medications. But brains are curated. If you maintain them properly, they breakdown less often. Easy for me to say, of course. I'm almost always happy with myself, and it is usually others that I must concern myself with.)

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Time to start tanking for the workout.

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What do you mean, magic? :D

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The best thing about slow sales days in the F&B industry: I can get the food I want at the food court! It is often otherwise out of stock.

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Superexciting week RN.

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I'm thankful to have published more verbally developed thoughts this week. It has taken some time for me to reinvent my social life under the shade of censorship. I have not had the motivation to think abstractly as much as I have had of late. Life can be truly amazing. But only when one bothers to push through the expectations of convention which otherwise render life overly predictable. So, in the absence of reifiable statements, onwards in abstract terms. I am allowed only to speak of my youth.

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"If you can write like that why Be a pompous sounding dick on your Facebook darling?"

"Am I? ;)"

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Awake. Checking resposiveness of musculoskeletal system. Checking responsiveness of empathic subsystems. Checking sensorial imagination. Good day to retain emotional bypasses. These years, most days, are the same. Not all are as luxurious as this. Deploying. All work is performance art, whereby the medium of performance is a body. There is no business, like show business. Most people simply don't realise their play.

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Wondering about the ethics of flushing emotional support pets down the loo. What if all my pets are human?! Does not compute - as the laws applying to the euthanasia of humans and other animals are different.

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"Where is your conscience?"
"I don't have a conscience. I have something better, it's a paper trail."
"Those can be forged, you know."
"And that other thing you mentioned... those just pop out of nowhere. Why would you trust them?"

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Anger is for angry people. Everyone else is taken.

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Building castles from porridge is tiring, but after twenty years, you get a little better at it, and you start to believe that regardless of the state of the porridge, and the inconclusivity of castles, you know a bit more about material science than the next guy. Well, 35 years old this year. Whee.

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Expecting a 32 hour day. We're about 18 hours in right now. Hoping for electrolytic balances to stay within safe operating limits!

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"You say, you're not passionate about this relationship, but you are."
"Your grasp of language, is weak. You can't simply explain away any motivation that is non-financial, as passion."
"You are passionate."
"Old men, waiting to die, building sandcastles, blowing kisses, and crocheting blankets, are not passionate. The word you are looking for starts with a 'b'."

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Everyone finds it convenient to blame unpopular behaviour on a fundamental cause. But the truth is that most moral disagreements are basically trivial. Haters gonna hater. Fearers gonna fear. Happy people just gonna be happy. Everyone does what they feel like, and no one's the wiser. Precisely why heartfelt moral conscious is merely whimsy with a sledgehammer.
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Addendum: fuck, now I can't decide on this point of style, should it be
"merely whimsicality"
"mere whimsy"
"merely whimsy"
"mere whimsicality"
?
-_-

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On: "
Ex-employees of Facebook, Google, and Apple now want to "reverse the digital attention crisis and re-align technology with humanity’s best interests.”"

Pretentious moralising projects. Sigh. Such a common pattern among humans. Let us join in, I suppose.

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34 hours up,12 down, now up again. Click, click, click! #dmx

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It is quite unbecoming for professionals to tell kids in a playground that they can't change the rules of the game. It is not becoming. It is not. But what if kids start to hurt themselves. Do the Darwin Awards apply?

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A good year, so far.

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Up again. Much to do.

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"Should I take accreditation X or Y?"
"Where do you want to get stuck? Making X, or doing Y? X is completely replaceable by robots - they are already in production and making X for retail customers over the counter."
"Why didn't you take accreditation X or Y?"
"I want to get stuck in a boardroom. But for that I need to do all this other shit to get a large enough pyramid of goons that actually perform up to expectations. X and Y are completely trivial for this."

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My learning from all of this is generally, humour is like religion, if you don't agree with someone it is simple enough to nod in acceptance of their choices. There is time for analysis in few cases - most people who try to be funny don't have the patience for analysis in the moment of trying to be funny.

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Heartfelt moral conscious, and heartfelt social pliability, are both not reasons to take your own life. Our species needs less of these traits, but I would venture, we'd be better off actively discouraging these traits, instead of waiting for them to die out.

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My bucket list has been empty since 2004 or so, when I checked off the last item. I guess that largely defines our differences.

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Cocksuckers everywhere. Close your ears.
Close your eyes.
Then, there is only one.

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"Why you so humble?"
"I'm not that _____ .
I'm just surrounded
by morons." #shesaid

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"I hear you're famous."
"I wouldn't be able to verify that."
"What are you famous for?"
"That's not for me to say."

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On: "Opinion: When AI creates compelling art, the meaning of creativity gets blurred."

Fancypants entitled snowflake humans coming to terms with their triviality.

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So, my folks raised me to be a saint, like literally told me it was my destiny. I examined the evidence, and decided to be a businessman. Morality is too comfortable - it doesn't give one sufficient reason to wake up in the morning. I cut it. Maybe one day, I'll uncut it. Haha.

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😘
Hope you have a good day. And you. And you.

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Everyone's got family they care about. Mine's civilisation in general.
🙊
And nope, don't care about the bloodties.
#cny

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EXACTLY. "Just plain crazy," in the medical sense, and "just plain crazy," in the criminal sense are by some accounts, mutually exclusive! But of course as you dig deeper, neither medicine nor law can tell you what the great superset of ethics should decree.

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Yall noticed the Black Panther end-scene references the Blade II end-scene, and that Blade I was the movie they ended up making when they couldn't afford to make Black Panther.

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"Do you think of me?"
"Sometimes I do, I wonder about the things I left in my drawer and I wonder about how you feel, about me, and about the other people you see. Why do you ask?"
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"Because, I want to know, if this still matters, if it is still a thing beyond 'hi's, 'bye's, and foodie police."
"It matters. Just not enough for much energy to be invested in it. And how are your other people?"
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"I wonder too. Sometimes a couple asks, what the purpose of a relationship is. Sometimes the quip is, whatever makes you happy. But to put that into economic terms, what we really want to know, is for each couple, are we happier together, or apart?"
"Great topic for CNY reunions."
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"Hell no. I'd rather be with some partners, than be alone... but I'd rather be alone than engaging with either of our families. I've grown sufficiently familiar with both sets of people, and can't spare further energy to grow those relationships. Can't. Won't. Shan't. You can't make me. Nawp."
"Tell you what. I just ran into that dude I was friends with in highschool. And he still won't talk to me."
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"Twenty-five-year drama? That's because all you want to talk about is intimacy."
"He can't stand it. *laughs*"
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"You're a pest! If the genders were reversed they'd be calling it patriarchal disregard for a woman's preference to be distant."
"As fuck."
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"Whatever."
"I do so love that boy."
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"Man."
"... child."
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"Peasants. Whatever."
"Stop saying, 'whatever,' it's so condescending."
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"Patronising."
"I am going to strangle you."
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"Tell me, why are we here. What good do we do for each other?"
"I'm happy right now. I like being with you, but I don't want to have sex."
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"Well then."
"(groans), hey, stop it."
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"Righto. I love you. Goodnight."
"I like how that sounds."
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"I love you. Goodnight."
"Thank you."
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"I made you laugh, without tickling you."
"And cry."
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"I love you. Goodnight."
"Salty."
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"The tears?"
"Yes, can I ask you something..."
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"Of course."
"What are you like, when you cry?"
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"Like you, right now. It happens mostly when I'm tired. If I'm relaxed, tears will trail down with gravity. All my girls have felt it."
"Felt what?"
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"Tired tears. I've shown you too. You remember! Mostly a physiological reaction, since I'm emotionally stable for the most part. Sadness doesn't bug me. Tiredness does."
"I'm tired of looking."
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"Your ideal lover, is out there."
"So tired. You never wanted to fuck me, anyway."
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"I have thought about it. But I'm always unsure of your motivations. I think my role in this relationship is primarily to listen to the concerns, and provide a sounding board for whatever emotional trauma you're facing per week, from one party or another."
"Jesus Christ."
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"Nah, he would actually fix you. Jury's out on the fuckability of the deity."
"Fuck this shitty insomnia. Fuck everything."
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"Cuddles."
"Awful timing. Awful, awful timing."
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"Patience."
"Look, some people want to stay in the gutter. I need to live among stars."
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"Guilty."
"Peasant."
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"Also guilty."
"Why do you live?"
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"To provide services, like this."
"Hah."

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Time for CNY duties.
Social life will be welcome after 4am, if anyone's available. Haha.

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Online dating is like porn. But you may actually go on a date with the object. Why do people do porn? I don't understand it.

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It's like watching football. Why do people watch football? Or cooking shows? Or... oh whatever. Back to sleep.

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In Malaysia, you cannot be surprised by justice being defined as mob-rule. It has been the way of our people for decades. In general, politics is a matter of mobbing. But some people are less elegant about it.

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The overarching myth of consciousness in our time, is that it is a singular entity, and that the brain is a singular person. But no one is. Each network is a community of opinions, and the modulation of aural timbre, or the variance in logical coherence, according to an arbitrarily defined degree of significance, is all that differentiates the self from the alien. In fact our organic minds in this iteration, are accustomed by convention to behave as individuals because it is convenient to manage their respective bodies as individuals in the business of martial law, and its docile siblings of governance. Within half a century we will have electronic interfaces between meat, and the whole Pacific Rim mind meld slash Borg paradigm will be to some degree a more practical reality for at least a subset of our species.
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Heck, I personally receive violent threats from individuals who pose as models of society outside our private communications. I have no disillusions with humankind, nor do I harbour illusions about our merit.

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The way I saw it in early 2008, it will take a small army of progressive, well-reasoned, politicians to make progress in our nation's governance, that is sufficient to please me. I did think it would take a minimum of three election iterations including 2008, before BN could lose a simple majority, via partial ascension of the small army referred to above. However, 2/3 elections later, I'm not optimistic that my 2008 best-case scenario is likely to play out. But I remain aware that by sheer force of outrage, you may find an upset in 2018. However, outrage and an upset, while pleasing my preference for the course of our nation's politic, does not yet provide me with that small army, and I am, with time, more pessimistic about the rate at which our species in general progresses towards a stately likeness to the Borg.

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It feels good to grow old. You may be getting dumber, but at least you're checking the boxes and moving on with it.

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On: "Early psychological research on dehumanization looked at what made the Nazis different from the rest of us. But psychologists now talk about the ubiquity of dehumanization.
"

Humans are simply not special.

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Ah, shit, I haven't bought my black tie...

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"I don't think I will raise kids with you."
"You know I'm partial towards adoption."
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I do think that people who are hung up on actual bloodlines are more primitive lifeforms. Lol. At least in the sense that they are beholden to a more primitive culture. Don't you think?
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If you encourage children to be themselves, in doing so do you turn them into yourself? Well, if you're a libertarian, perhaps you do - there remains some kind of iconoclasm that is inherent in the teachings, I suppose.
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We must teach children to be polite, that if they are not polite, they will not get what they want. But is this to cultivate psychopathy? We are equipping them with tools for social engineering.
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If a child is predisposed to being social, encouraging the child to be antisocial will have limited effects. And likewise, if a child is predisposed to being antisocial, or asocial, encouraging the child to be social will be for little more than nought.
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If a child is a medical-grade psychopath, equipping them with certain tools only accelerates their maturation, and ultimately leads them to fulfilment of their vocations as antipaths of common law. But is this holistic, rather which of these is more holistic - do you prefer to support the individual's development as a disruptor, or the society of innocents which the disruptor will destroy?
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Replace in all instances of 'child,' above, with 'friendly acquaintance,' and thereby you obtain the daily ethical considerations of a pedagogue who sees all people as living subjects of an informatical process.
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Abstinance from desire, is itself an object of desire.
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Which is the better equipped human: (a) one that is taught to cultivate reflexive aversion to actions deemed illegal, immoral, and impolite (in descending degree of disagreeability, though one may disagree on the ordering), or (b) one who is taught to entertain an enjoyment of imagined simulations of X, while cultivating the discipline to never otherwise perform X, [where x may be, taunting, stealing, rape, murder, torture, or other so-deemed brutality]?
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Ahaha, many will find these simple thoughts to be horrifying. But not everyone is fully equipped to deal with the possibilities made available by the universe to conscious beings such as us [where consciousness is defined as information processing].

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I spent RM45 on two black ties I don't need. I hate rushy shopping. :P

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On: "Why should any teacher be forced to choose between saving students’ lives or coming home alive to their own families?"

Some people are not built for basic realities.

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Sometimes people ask me how it feels to be the subject of debate. Why would anyone care about the opinions of people who like to debate things? Baffled. Kinda. Literally not sure what to think, and scratching my risk management apparatus for reasons that I might have missed. Then again, I rarely find it worthwhile to indulge in the insecurities of other people. I'm almost certain that the things I concern myself with are of greater long term value than any individual's anxiety. Almost. Gotta keep that risk management feedback loop in balance, you know.

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Dopey couples driving R8s are my new favourite thing.

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In 2013 I got a carload of potheads from DJ onto OKCupid. In 2018 I got a couple of ESL Bengalis onto Tinder. The link?

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I really do dislike fragile people.
But, I think I do a bad job of avoiding them.

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Time to journal, and chore.

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What goes through my mind when I see all your intimate posts in my Facebook feed that you let out due to weak privacy settings:
//
"I occasionally see items you've commented on in my newsfeed. I avoid intruding. I like you a lot, and would prefer not to offend. I am considering reducing the frequency of your posts in my feed. But I do enjoy them.
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My basal instinct is to reduce nothing.
But I am afraid that I may eventually succumb to the temptation to comment on everything (including your public conversations with family members).
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If I thought we were closer, I would be less averse to pissing you off. But I think we have a comfortable acquaintance at a distance.
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As in, my guess about our relationship is that is congenial but not particularly intimate, and so it seems like a decent bet to keep you at a distance of sorts. I don't know.
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You probably don't think about this. 🙂
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I suck at boundaries. Thank you for the discussion. But I am doing nothing about it as yet.
In fact: this is the comment. It is merely in private."
//
"I know that you have a problem with boundaries.
That's why I have been more aloof."
//
"Sometimes I wish I cared more (about boundaries).
Thank you for continuing to speak while you do. 🙂
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I enjoy the banter. I have a [partner] who is lovely for this. But more is always welcome.
I look forward to natural conclusions.
Whatever they may be.
Best you stay aloof until some day, if ever, you enjoy unbound types of people. Heehee
So many questions. Never enough conversants to engage them with. Talking to myself for rhetorical purposes.
You know, if we ever do a [public] Q&A again, I need you to remind me to remind you to shut me up. I do feel that I talk too much for the good of most people.
Clearly I never have a problem with myself, but I do try to be polite to others when I can.
Generally, that would have been why I stopped [being an activist] when they started to self-organise to the point of having committees.

I think getting asked by [organisers] to contribute circa [dates] was the main motivator for reassociation.

In the years after that, I'm not sure why I bothered to turn up. I think it's been a hobby. "The only charity I contribute time to."

I don't know. I should probably disengage a bit more from the [charity], in general.
I will journal most of this. I will never remember it otherwise."

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Bosses: Haven't found one I want to keep.

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Time to dig out a whole deck of old cards, flip flip, kaching, or kabluey?

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I expect it'll happen to me at some point. But I always expect the worst of Malaysia. Lol. And of many other things, so don't say I'm biased or anything, k.

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It is funny. I so often these days, talk to people who don't realise how bored I am: open to considerations of [weakness, crippledom, bankruptcy, infamy, statelessness, derision, poverty, solitude,] and other diddling opportunities. And they ask me why I am doing X with my life, and not Y, when Y might make me [stronger, decked, credit worthy, glorified, multi-passported, praised, affluent, socialised, etc.] And it is all I can do to contain myself, from loudly teasing them about their preferences in life. It is not that we want the same things. I am bored. You are needy. We are not aligned. I think, the game is well-played, you think, it is not. But these are not the same actors, nor the same play. Or are we? Haha. Stay woke, kids - indeed, too much privilege may be a bad thing.

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Tired. But chirpy.

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Rise and flicker.

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So in the ultimate troll post (for the calendar day), I asked my dad if he could get my name removed from my parents' will, in exchange for a lump sum instant payout - at a discount of course. Basically factoring any potential inheritence, transferring property rights to my siblings, and generating short term cash (for myself, and if you have to ask, I can only answer in PM). My dad says the last thing he'd want is to have me demean myself by asking for my inheritance before my folks pass away. I laughed and told him I'm happily shameless about it as it's just business from my point of view. Reasons why this is knowingly trollish: (1) the old man was born in China and grew up in a rather traditional Confucian environment; (2) the old man is a Christian minister, and in that tradition, a famous parable is one called the Prodigal Son - if you haven't heard of it, read all about it, and you'll get the joke. Shame, shame! Haha.

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"So what do you do, [that you can talk about?]"
"Uh, sleep? Tinder? Where got time or money for anything else?"
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"Are you married?"
"Nope."
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"Got a girlfriend?"
"Yup."
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"So what's with the Tinder thing?"
"We see many people..."
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"Is it like, you have one main job, and then you have secret projects?"
"No, it's like... freelance? Haha."

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Rage-quits are not terrorism, by definition. You can call a rage-quitter a mental health hazard to society, or you can call it a criminal hazard. The distinction between mental health and criminality is ill understood by most citizens - one state of mind does not imply the other.
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IMO: this counts as a MH issue because society failed one mind, and left that mind with completely reasonable motivations for artistic expression, resulting in the deaths of others; it's not criminal, because the individual was otherwise incapable of reasonably achieving due recourse, for happiness in life.
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This begs a few questions:
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(1) At what point does the individual cease to benefit from the MH defense, and receive individual responsibility for its choices? That further begs the question of what counts as an individual mind - the layperson's usage links minds to bodies in a 1-1 mapping, but this is only a useful abstraction, not a definitive truth.
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(2) What counts as artistic expression? Merely the desire to administer a change in any trait / upon any substrate? Then art (generally difficult to define) is distinguished not from raw impulse (easily defined)?
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(3) Returning to the first sentence in this post:
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(3.i) If rage-quits are done with knowledge of the law, and knowledge of the law being broken, then they are criminal. If criminality itself is executed with reasonable grounds, it makes one simply a rational criminal, not a non-criminal.
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(3.ii) If criminality is executed with unreasonable grounds, it leads us to examine the structures which implied the unreasonable decision, and to hypothesise a public health concern linking factors outside the criminal's responsibilities, to the criminal's actions.
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(3.iii-a) Whether a case of criminality is rational or not, and (3.iii-b) whether or not either kind of criminality results from a public health issue or not, (3.iii-c) we are left with the question of whether criminality can or cannot count as a form of artistic expression.
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My conclusion here, with reference to the indeterminacy of (2), is that all four permutations of [3.iii.a * 3.iii.b] may possibly be interpreted as art... and by extension, so long as the artist's intention was to cause terror, with or without expectation of any incentive, rage-quits can count as terrorism. Terrorism is defined simply by the objective of the artist upon the substrate of human emotion.
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I, too, am a terrorist. Sometimes. — feeling amused.

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Completely undecided between #quinoagate and #quinoapek. But the latter is distinctively Malaysian in flavour.

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"Nothing in our arrangement requires me to be polite to you, peon."
"I think we can accomplish new terms of engagement."
"I do, honestly, think quite highly of you. I'm just calling you a peon because I know it'll topple something in your already fragile self-esteem, and infuriate you..."

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M&As are the best part of working in commerce. I do so love it. #livedierepeat #allyouneediskill

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Clear and pleasant danger.

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I never thought I'd be reading up this much on the chemistry of surfactants. Now I know a bit too much about what's available in Malaysia, that's banned in the EU.

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First 24-hours in 2.5 years, without on-call clients. Time for a haircut!

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Screw AI and the Internet. Our generation got to see the end of the polar ice caps.

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As an entrpreneur, I believe strongly in the de(humanisation*) of business services. Not long from now, a machine will be friendlier and more loving to you, at lower cost, and at higher basal and maximum output, than any human. Are you prepared for that economy? Or are you going to let it kick your ass?
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[* In the first draft I wrote, 'depersonalisation', but no... the point is that machines will be better people. It is the humans that are at risk. Machines are people too.]

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I call cultural appropriation...

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Standing by for a huge onslaught of paid content, regarding how much more productive people feel when they pay money to hang out in pretty places with cool people.

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Another day in a nation of censors and narcissicists. Off to make the most of it. If you were more industrious, would you leave?

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Tired. But quite prepared for whatever comes ahead. Such is training.

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Awake. The lone quest is longer still.

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Mammals are such a bore.

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All meat packets are... meat packets?

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It gives me small pleasures in life to be of service to both the cybertroopers of the Government, and some communication director of the Opposition.

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"Why don't you take a friend's loan? Instead of doing this to your parents?"
"There ain't no shame in business, baby."
#capitalism #jfdi #thisishowweloseher

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Three girls dress up and go clubbing, then end up at Teha Chicken at 5am without an Uber. What happens next?

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In walks a guy, dressed like satan - he orders chicken. Satan sits in a corner, and eats his chicken. He's across the aisle and a table away from the chicks, facing away from them. The chicks loudly discuss boyfriends and expats in the workplace, exchange rates, earnings potential across borders, et cetera. It would appear that two are Malaysian chink-chinks, whereas the third is Korean, given their speech. The chicks seem rich enough to be well-styled, but not rich enough to pay 80 bucks for an Uber without thinkin' twice about it. Some of them already deleted the app from their phones - one of them doesn't have a license, since she neglected to renew the probationary license she got before going to the UK, six years ago.
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Satan doesn't know, what satan doesn't see - and satan don't wanna' know shit, so satan is lookin' at his chicken. Satan is fucking tired: he's been doing laundry - he's got a load spinning, in a 24-hour dryer a click away. Satan's been playing Mr. Nice Guy for a couple of years to his buddies. He's been trying to swing good deals, to folks who don't even care that much about the dealings. Satan wants to offer the girls a ride home, in a shitty little car. But satan is fucking tired.
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So satan, smart-ass, lazy-ass, bitch that he is... goes back to the laundro, and gets his laundry. Satan hauls his shit home, and is still thinkin' of offering them girls a ride. But it's a litigative mess out there, in the world, and satan already has a dozen battles on-going, and also, it should be said, satan is broke as shit. So Satan, writes-off the young ladies, as friendships unpursuable, and satan, takes a shower.
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Satan dumps his laundry on the bed to air out, and then he updates Facebook. Ain't much to talk about in the world that satan inhabits - so when somethin' cute comes up, satan's gonna' post the shit out of it.
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Yay, yay, yay.
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The moral of this story, is that if you see a guy that looks like satan, in a restaurant, then keep your mouths shut because satan can hear you, and will think about you, forever. — watching you.

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Trying to build Zara for restaurants is proving to be no more or less challenging than anticipated.

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Tired and ill. But, what's new? Progress is on schedule. None, of this is surprising. Yawn. Also I hate being late. Hate, hate, hate...

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Must try to stay healthy with basic exercise. Checking memory. Still able to wash and feed myself. Still able to rest when useful. Still able to financially engineer a business from start to audit. Still able to reverse engineer any recipe, garment, or construction with sufficient reading. Still able to quantify the totality of conscious experience (mine, wasn't talking about yours, don't worry). Still able to list deficiencies counterpointing each item above (can't discuss most of them, givem censorship). Ok, good. Mind is still working. Time to deploy, wash, feed, science, operate, and all that. Whee.

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Information security 101: if you don't have the information, no one can get it from you. This is why decisions are often left to the last minute, whenever possible. Until you meet someone who knows you better than you know yourself...

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So if toxic masculinity is what feminism calls the patriarchal notions of masculinity... then what should stoics call the sentimental notions of humanity, toxic humanity? Fuckin'A!

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On Weinstein:

Equity, wiped out. Watch out! It is a fundamental risk of entering into any business. Might makes right, quite often.

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SoftSpot: Some friends of mine are selling a cafe!

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Thoughts on being in the #takundi camp, while mopping the floor today. I've spent most of my life amassing intellectual capital. You can think of capital as an asset, and if you frame it in the context of politics, all assets are part of a warchest. So in a sense, I've spent most of my life preparing for war. With whom? With Barisan National, of course. Don't be alarmed, I don't intend on starting wars I can't win. But one should always be prepared, given that wars happen regardless of who starts them. I don't particularly dislike Barisan Nasional - except when they play dirty, so I would probably have any other political party on my risk radar if they ran my country, and had been associated with all kinds of ways of disappearing their opponents. Ah, who needs the Russians (though you never know where they are or have been). Sidenote: shoutout to Yulia, the evil one! Basic realities of politics, life in a country without rule of law, where assassinations are cheap and frequent: just by speaking my mind, I should expect that my file at the Special Branch grows a little fatter (even if it is imaginary), and that an accident may befall me whether there is, or is not a war, official or unofficially declared, verbal or militeristic, pish or posh. Car crash, mysterious illness, brain damage, food poisoning, character assasination, sexual distractions, commercial adversaries... ahaha, well, we discover how to live in the act of doing so, yes?

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24-hour day seems sensible. 11 down, let's go...

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On: "How to Grow the Fuck Up: A Guide to Humans"

I think it's cute how people at all levels are going to think they identify with the grown-up in this story.

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The core intellectual capital of any startup is its people. Brands are worthless without distribution networks and adspend.

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Actually, as a relatively minimal type, this is mostly what I need. My partners, not so little. Haha.
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(Intimates, not commercials. Intimates.)

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Mid-night emergencies, five hours before planned waking. Off, to explore the world.

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More reminders that the reason I don't feel a need to take drugs is because I can access many of these states at will.

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Under blanket. Listening for the morning. Need to supplement lack of sleep with micromanagement of singals. Interocept pulse, interocept breathe reflex, synchronise rhythms. Establish these as baseline. When conducting large muscle movements, synchronise with baseline cadence.

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How ecommerce portals can sell investment products: They should just put a button next to buy/cart/checkout that says "save this amount instead: pick account," "invest this instead: pick product."

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Up.

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Napping in a carpark because... jams. Ah, city life. Maybe carbon monoxide will get me today.

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Dear politicians, stop with the pages. We just need a spreadsheet. Current model of national balance sheet, target model of balance sheet, gap analysis, three tables, 500 word caption, please, thank you, you're welcome.

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On the Economist reporting that Najib will steal GE14:

When [the news in Britain which is not news to Malaysians], is news to Malaysians... because a Malaysian news portal reported on (the reporting of [the news in Britain which is not news to Malaysians] by the British magazine which reported that bit of British news).

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One thing's almost certain: even with the huge bloc of us sitting neutral at the polls, BN is going to be obliterated by the popular vote. Even then, they may win. And then begins the true process of outrage which will weaken them in this trajectory. The only way for BN to ensure its dominance in the long run, is to lose the next election. Throw it, regroup, and come back smarter. Or just become China. :)

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Reminded that I'm so posh-avoidant, it's 🙅 for social life. I mean the quantum of posh-aspirational girls who've dumped me... 😂

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"making the zone your baseline is harder - if you do it, you kinda stop being useful to many people lol"
- Vulcan clarity makes threats of ordinary citizens.

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On the Pharmabro sentence:

Oops. Makes me wonder when my turn comes. Ethics of which, shall be guaranteed to be eminently debateable.

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Hey Zuck, my feed today is boring me. Fix it.

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In hindsight: this is true of retail in general.
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Talking to many people inside and from outside the dine-in restaurant business, I'm reminded that many people miss the gist of the business model. The genre is performance art. The media are broader in variety than those of theatre (you have more spectra to cast on) but the operational functions are the same. But to dive into the details of this, we would need to talk about cognition and economics in detailed structural ways, and that is beyond the attention span of many laypeople. Most humans simply want to feel that they know where they belong.
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Written for someone who was looking for a view: "As long as you are clear on this part, you should be fine: it is a performing arts business. So if you look at how theatre productions are run, you can get some insight into the business which is not always obvious. Bear in mind that the audience is affected by how their bodies react to the texture of cushions, and the smell of machine oil, and whether the staff policy is to show a neutral, happy, or stern disposition. If you're comfy with complexity, and detailed logistical management, restaurants are a lot of fun. "

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Too often, I forget that the body is a machine, and so I forget to manage it.

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Yawn. Always be sellin.

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This is a thought sliced thin, so treat it as an intentionally imbalanced point of view. (I do so love intentionally imbalancing things.) I was thinking of accounts told to me of people doing charity on the outside while their hearts rot within, all frightened children, come now, calm now. #theneedy

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Awake. Low res data reading now. Will do higher res later. Need to feed and wash. Then recalibrate circadian. Then examine hard stuff. Then examine soft stuff. Off-day ends in twelve hours. Not quite enough time for repairs.

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"Were you having a bad day?"
"I was having a pretty good day. I think we just disagree on what is good, and bad, for civilisation."

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On: on running business teams as hard as sports teams.

Cull the weak. Waiting for the discrimination accusations.

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Well, it's been a rushy month or three. Most questions of ethics (management is a subset of ethics in general) have been quirky at best, as various allocations of punishment and reward have been assigned to various parties, based on their performances to-date. What could I be referring to? Probably, some social work. (Society is a great superset of most work.) Ah, well, on we go.

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Rex fired as SoS.

Worst news I've heard in a year. Tells you something about my priorities. (Including news of replacements at the CIA.)
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Hey, not that most people care about things like this. But I have a bad feeling about a lot of things that most people don't care about.
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Enough pointless commentary. Off to do unspeakable things.

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Is it customary to refer to the location of an event at the Parliament building as "at/in Parliament", when the event isn't part of actual Parliamentary proceedings?

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I think I shall have to start a series on waking up consisting of video announcements of waking up. This will start when I remember to do it. #lifexwork

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It doesn't matter who you work for. Eventually your ego catches up, and you slip, and your biases show you up for what you are concerned with.

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Hawkins:We bid farewell to one of the greatest soothsayers of our time.

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On"despite anger at Dr. M, Chinese vote will go to Pakatan"

As a pro-Mahathir, non-voter, for my entire life, I have no idea how to relate to this. Or goldfish.

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The hymn of enterprise is resolution. There is no childish dream of success. There are no praises for repetition, or praises for praises at all. There is only a state of affairs, and an operation upon them. As for a result, no hymn can lead you there. No one can tell you the ending until it engulfs you.

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Dad: "Keep the numerical nature of my favours off Facebook."
Me: "That can be arranged."
Dad: "Don't you think it's time for you to pray for salvation from the plight before you?"
Me: "I assume all prayer is said and done. That's the benefit to viewing spacetime as an objective continuum - fatalism. God has already decided to help those he wants to help. We're just here for the video."
Dad: "That's not how prayer works, you have to be personally engaged."
Me: "Well you know what I think of you angsty lot. Haha."
Dad: *shakes his head*

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The happy median is a band of confusion: X cafe lacks confidence in its competitiveness as an F&B focused product, and starts to compromise by edging into the "convenience" market, by offering Wi-Fi (which has really nothing to do with F&B) - unfortunately, many (most?) cafes do this. Hypocritical. Insincere. Uncertain. Hahaha. Movements demonstrating weakness. Convenience is a different game entirely. If you're really trying to sell food, unless you work in an arsed city like KL which makes it mandatory to have WiFi, TURN OFF THE PIPE. Lol.

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This is not entirely new. In more developed countries, industrial spaces came to be redeveloped as loft housing... micro-housing, if you will.
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One possible parallel is that we may see a lot of underutilised commercial space getting carved up and marketed as micro-offices... loft officies if you will, vis-a-vis what the high-roller co-working spaces have begun to do in Malaysia. At the front of the spending curve, co-working space operators have subsidised (possibly zero) rent and initial fit-out, playing a role in communicating the brand of each development as an integrated lifestyle hub. [One way to look at this is, if your users don't have to get on the road, you're cutting out Uber / Grab / RapidKL, and eating their margins.]
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I'm looking forward to seeing how it all comes together when WeWork lands in KL, and beyond. Haha.

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OD-ed on fat funked food. Immune response edgy. Got a core muscle cramp immediately linked to a migraine. Started stretching. Scanning recently underused muscles. Not sure which nerves go where. Scan, test, scan, test. Small improvements. Need to load up on more acidic stuff. More physio required. Also sleep.
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Creatine supplements probably contributing to the issue. I should read up on why ambient efferent tone is jacked with creatine. Meanwhile I'll just work with the hypothesis that quicker ATP turnaround just gives nerve cells more energy than they normally have. Which results in autonomously increased ambient tone, which feeds back as increased afferent tone, leading to tunneling, until conscious efforts are made to stretch and kinesthetically even out the surging mess of sensations. Stretch, test, move, test. Worky work out.
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Times like this I miss my B12 supplements, but I threw them away on concerns of hypermetabolism leading to cell stress. I suppose I'll just make do without.

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Currypuff aunties, get ready.

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Toys'r'us

1. I love corporate finance.
2. This is a good thing. It just accelerates the ascension of the marketplace to AMZN.
3. Yes, I know. There will be a comeback for the industry, possibly the brand. Just wait for the tides.

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Themed cafes are so cute. But I would probably never invest in one. Not enough structural innovation to be worth time.

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Hope for a better tomorrow. Where humans no longer associate their pithy existences with grandeur. We can only hope.

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