One of the more interesting things about humans.
Many of them haven't developed the ability to simply deprioritise what people around them think and feel. They cannot switch off this dependency.
This sounds like a minor problem, until they start casting as evil the people who can do this as a result of training.
The difference between "not being able to turn on the dependency" and "being able to turn off the dependency" is not carefully managed.
I wonder what percentile of the fringe I am in, aside from my active engagement of society. My segment is basically
- minimal interest in family relations
- minimal interest in passive consumerism ( including vice )
- minimal interest in passive employment ( symmetrical with consumerism )
- ... as a result, our political interests are also minimally overlapping the top three quartiles of people interested in each of the above, so our government participation is minimal also
I always think there can't be too few of us, since there are so many billions of people lying around. However, given that on an hourly to annual basis, one only interacts with perhaps a hundred thousand to a million people tops - I don't actually meet many people like myself.
I often wonder about past optimisation decisions. The study of poor people was an early-career move in the two decades immediately after college. I think many people avoid doing this, because
(a) that is not an interest at all
(b) it is interesting, but they need security first, so understanding poor people is deprioritised
I think the whole point of being poor, is to lack options. So I think, it is more of an accurate study to be poor, without an option to step into richness at arbitrary points in the process.
Malaysia lacks a coherent legal ( constitutional, and subsidiary legislative ) framework ... that lets people form political associations* and communications, explicitly seeking to change/overthrow* constitutional foundations* through peaceful* means.
In various other countries, this is protected speech. Because Malaysia prefers to just lock up the same, under ISA/SOSMA, any inclined parties devolve to dogwhistling, and then we burn like 15% of GNI annually arguing about dogwhistling.
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Malaysia tiada kerangka perundangan (perlembagaan + akta bawahan) yang teratur, supaya rakyat boleh berpersatuan dan berkomunikasi politik*, demi berusaha secara terbuka untuk mengubah/menggulingkan* dasar perlembagaan* secara aman*.
Di pelbagai negara lain, suara ini dilindungi. Oleh kerana Malaysia lebih suka menghumbankan orang begitu, bawah ISA/SOSMA, pihak2 yang cenderung akan bersiulan anjing, kemudian kita membakar +/-15% daripada PNK tiap tahun bagi pertengkaran mengenai siulan anjing.
Ulang kaji, kehidupan politik saya, sebagai serorang rakyat Malaysia, antara umur 14 dan 43.
1990-an : Dulu masa kecil (terlupa pulak tahun apa) pernah aku bercita-cita secara sia-sia untuk bekerja sebagai perdana menteri ... bukan bagi kemewahan, tapi nampaknya hanya PM dapat menentukan tahap penyelenggaran negara. Pada zaman kelahiran saya, Tun M yang menebang kuasa cabang-cabang kerajaan persekutuan dan masyarakat sivil : kehakiman, kewartawanan, gerakan politik dan agama minority, raja-raja Melayu, dan lain-lain, dan memindahkan kuasa kepada kedudukan PM, sebagai penggerak utama dalam cabangan perundangan, dan eksekutif.
Tapi bila sampailah zaman Reformasi dan ternampak kita adanya humban menghumban dan tuduhan ke atas pendirian peribadi secara kasar - sedarlah saya bahawa politik Malaysia belum lagi matang, dan amat membahayakan kepada penyumbangnya. Berundurlah sebarang minat saya daripada penyertaan dalam bidang ini, dan terpulanglah saya kepada pengajian lain, lebih pada STEM, dan sejarah pemikiran ketamadunan sedunia.
Pada waktu itu, saya rasalah bahawa budaya Malaysia kolot, dan tidak berfaedah kepada saya kalau menelitikannya selama dua atau tiga dekad. Saya rasalah, sebarang perubahan politik daripada genggaman keMahathiran (termasuk anak buahnya) mestilah mengambil beberapa kitaran baru dapatnya perubahan yang cukup menarik. (Pada 2026, kita masih dalam era keMahathiran, ya?)
2000-an : Saya dikurniakan dengan peluang untuk mengaji ke luar negara, selepas SPM, dan saya bercadang untuk menumpukan perhatian atas kajian bukan-perniagaan semasa di kolej, supaya dapat sikit kanta dari luar negara bagi memahami apakah yang berlaku dalam Malaysia, pada keseluruhannya. Selepas dapat ijazah sarjana mudah, terpulanglah saya ke Malaysia, dimana saya terus bermula dengan pengajian suasana tempatan, dari segi kerajaan dan perniagaan, tanpa mengabaikan pergerakan teknologi sedunia pada dekad itu. Ini saya dapat teruskan sampai tahun 2023.
2023-2032 : sedangkan saya tengah cuba pengajian sedekad dalam STEM bagi mengukuhkan pemahaman am saya. Dengan masa lapang saya, saya turut bermula akhirnya untuk melatihkan membacaan bahasa dan politik Melayu, yang sampai masa ini saya lebih mengabaikan (sebenarnya : seseorang rakyat tidak begitu perlu BM untuk mencari rezeki asas di Malaysia ... itu bab lain lah).
Kebelakangan kini meletuplah kisah gangguan warganet terhadap Network School di Johor, yang lebih mencirikan prasangka dan keamukan daripada tatacara perundangan yang teliti. Selepas seminggu menghadapi kera-kera medsos atas benda ini, saya pun rasalah, mungkin saya kena menarik tumpuan saya daripada kerja amal yang terlalu mempertimbangkan kesedaran politik rakyat Malaysia, selama dua atau tiga dekad lagi, haha.
Entahlah, bila aku nak turun gelanggang. Pikiranlah saya, bukan dekad ini.
I miss having a simpler life as a younger person. Training is easier when you focus on a few things, instead of many.
Before 30 I did one main exercise : I ran. Now I run, swim, and lift.
From 18 to 21, I focused entirely on the total syllabus of the university and the quantifiable structure of conscious experience, and from 22 to 39, I focused entirely on Malaysian SMBs and software development. Now I have to study macro asset allocation, geopolitics, nutritional biochemistry, neuroanatomy, and the foundations of maths.
Before 2009, I focused on composition in English, and perhaps two scripting computer languages. Now I have added Malay, and comprehend the structure of all computing operations from assembly to user interfaces.
It is of course, harder to do basic little things with much focus. But I think, I will be able to reacquire the quality of running I had in 2006, soon, because it was not a remarkable quality altogether. Then I will have to think about other dimensions of progress, but one thing at a time ...
