4 mar
Maybe time to pop B12 again.
Chiding myself for poor customer satisfaction in 2022. Negative feedback, ensures corrections.
Oh yes, yesterday I was thinking it is time to do a PhD if I remain in the current low-key jobs.
5 mar
I need to drive slower. The kancil drifts on wet ramps. And there are no airbags.
In other news I've decided the best way for me to enjoy time alone in bars is reading math.
-
Therre are dudes with assault rifles, walking around the mamak in Cyberjaya.
Asking for MySejahtera ... ma diu chi ***
6 march
Why are all these Paul Newman Daytona clones so bad? It's fucking fashion, not rocket science ...
-
International relations in a nutshell : someone has died, let the name-calling begin.
7 Mar
Apparently I need to put away 10k a month until I'm 64, at 17.37% CAGR, to hit my number. (That, or actually making partner at a consulting firm, I guess.) Game on.
/
Staff daily assignments should include: time to reflect on their degree of job satisfaction, and time to work on improving it.
9 mar
This week is for grinding ... so until the 15th, sprint is on.
-
Gear at lowbase is almost entirely unpacked and sorted. I am relieved.
10 mar
Timeframes are critical factors. In my professional life I find myself generally ignoring anything shorter than a 1-3 fiscal-year strategic outlook because it seems most people are looking at shorter timeframes. Operationally, 3-5 FYs makes sense for strategic planning. But it depends on the nature of the business.
In my personal life I have tended to focus on 4-10 year frames for operations. From an investment point-of-view, I tend towards 15-30 year frames.
-
Lots of people can imagine life without a car. Life without a job might scare them. Life without family. Life without friends. Life without an arm, or leg, or face. Different tolerances make us different people.
11 mar
Hack and grind. Work, work, work.
Insufficient food stored. However, soon focus can return to this.
Main distraction appears to remain, the logistics of split offices - time to consolidate, finally, i think.
Reflections on the 2, 7, 9, 11, 17, and 22 year games.
Do I drink too much? Maybe yes, for someone who has six projects in the air - not enough good memory is preserved for that.
12 mar
Found a nice place to look at clouds. I've been watching clouds since I was ... fifteen or sixteen. I like looking at clouds, for the same reason I like looking at pretty girls. It's pretty basic.
--
Last year I started making what my classmates made in 2005. I'm supposed to be only ten years behind. How do you factor in so many dimensions? Am I ahead, on-time, or six years late?
--
Whatever folks were doing in fashion, prepping for interviews in 2004 ... I guess I'm finally getting around to it, since I've had mode2 dressing as a lower priority since then.
13 mar
A wasted morning.
But it's good to wrap up chores postponed since 2016. Scratch cleaning up Kajang off the to-do list.
Recycled batteries.
Second meal in three hours.
Lots of tea.
Tyre alignments and balancing at just over 6500km.
1800h
Cleared backlog, and I seem to have reduced my urgent priorities to two projects, down from four a coupla weeks ago.
KB + DB ->
DK(B) + WP ->
DKW ->
A:DK
Right. A lot has happened in 17 years. (Dressner Kleinwort etc.)
Capitalist douche note :
1. Up till 2021, Ukraine had no class recognition. It was a village ... that made things which many people used. Merchants were aware of it, but not most consumers. People knew that the village was full of white people, but not many people cared about the village as a thing in itself.
2. Then Russia attacked Ukraine. Russia had previously attacked many places containing white people, but none so economically important as Ukraine. So other governments, being incentivised by mercantile factions, opposed Russia this time. Global consumers saw white people under attack - rich, confident, happy, white people - and it messed them up inside ... it interfered with their aspirations. So that is how Russia lost both the politicians, and the public's favour.
3. After this war, everyone will know Ukraine exists, and is a lovely country, full of lovely people.
4. You should buy Ukrainian equities on a 30-year span.
5. If you make money, maybe use it to invest in the wellness of poor, brown people, who also happen to live in war-torn countries.
Thanks for coming to my TED talk.
/
14 mar
Business networking. Enforced feeding. Enforced rest. Some coaching alignment. She put out my flowers, so I was happy. New project begins tomorrow.
1009
Caught up on sleep. Meaning day dreaming also, before exiting confinement. Thought about the people who make me happy, and their reasons for distance and proximity. I talk too much, still.
This training and operations thing has been going on for 21.2 years. It's been a long time. Maybe I should change my life. Or maybe later. Decisions.
TOTD : people, depending on their biological and social composition, differ in their abilities to switch memory contexts. Some of us can discuss our entire lives in the same sentence as our official duties - but that is only because we keep our lives very simple. Others have components of their lives which are not entirely under their own control - often this is spoken of as "emotional life". A number of the people I've socialised with go into red alert and close all borders if their emotional security is breached while they are performing official duties. In summary, statistics indicate that it is a bad idea to engage with invitations to discuss emotional life during office hours. I think I should make it a rule that we only do it over refreshments.
In college, I had a part-time job translating some histories of the Forbidden City from Chinese to English. When it came to the titles of the Emperor's partners ... there was quite a hierarchy, and so the title translations became a creative writing exercise.
Today I had to edit a pay-scale for cooks in a brigade system, across multiple verticals. Now I know what college was supposed to have prepared me for.
Demi Chef de Partie Viennoiserie, anyone?
... as they say, there are only two hard problems in Culinary Science, (1) stale food and (2) naming things ...
//
15 mar
New uniforms have arrived. I wonder how many years these will last. I still have my old ones from 2005, in fact, I'm wearing one now.
I've been chatting with my bosses. I'm mostly focused on executive coaching these days - it's enjoyable and rewarding, but not very challenging ... but I suppose that is my lot - I decided to move into startups in 2007. Now I am adding value to two "startups", in their adolescent stages. Maybe I really do have to do this for three years before I will have anything to show for my time. Who knows. One day at a time. Meanwhile I am diversifying.
16 mar
Some of us have a religious attachment to love. For others, it is just another way to pass the time. For some people, love is a moral obligation, the definition of purposeful activity, and a compass, like treasure. For me it is a practice of social conditioning, and sometimes it is a matter of simple entertainment. For some, grief, joy, ecstacy, are the holiest things - yet for some of us, these are mere colours with which we paint upon the canvas of our memory.
One day, she'll smoke up quietly while watching the band play, and I'll go by to say hi. Maybe I'll pretend to be tipsy, to shift her off the edge. I'll tell her I acknowledge we're very different people, and that I enjoy differences, but they bring her pain, and so I must remove myself, to get out of her way. Maybe a theatrical tear will be shed. I don't know the meaning of tears without theatre.
I really don't handle timid people very well.
17 mar
Past midnight.
There remains a lot to do. But it must be done very slowly, and without any significant gains of intellectual assets in general. Collect brownie points, ah yes, adulting!
These two days I have caught up on rest a little bit. I hope the morning that comes, is furthermore productive. I hope all my children sleep well and are invigorated, and not in despair. I would not enjoy losing more of them.
A few weeks ago I was in a relationship that made demands of my behaviour, and I was happy to comply, but as it is not currently active, I will restore as much as I can of my old self, until it begins again, if ever.
Somatic stimuli comes in a variety of vectors. I suppose when social life is ebbing, I should activate rebalancing towards solitary physical conditioning. I always forget to. A lack of study, a lack of focus on the correct variables.
0457h
Cleaned up some shredded keyboard key labels and restickered the keys with cuts from old Sudo stickers.
Still alert from a few medium weight lifts after dinner, and dinner.
By ... 18 I had everything I wanted when I was 8;
By ... 21 ... everything I wanted when I was 18;
And then ... 17 years of making up arbitrary targets as games to while my life away;
I have lived too many lives ... I think I will have to live a few more;
I will be quite pleased when I no longer comprehend these things. 🙂
/
(Watching Bad Vegan)
"Jerng, are you a conman?"
"Hm. I didn't promise you anything ... and I brought you BKT. It's fucking real. You ate it ... yeah, I stole your Diet Coke. Where's my Netflix docuseries?"
"Did they take your mugshot?"
"Yeah, of course, it's at the DU police station probably."
19 mar
2020h
Enforced feeding.
2345
Allergies all evening. One of those days when the body decides the only way to excrete water is through the nasal membranes.
Finally leaning about weave types in cloth.
20 Mar
More hours of copyediting. So very management consultanty. Be careful what you wish for. HAHA
21 mar
Personally, having grown up surrounded by WW2 and Cold War fables, I believe that DOD has always known the state of Russia's military decay. Ukraine is just bait. Press statements to the contrary, about surprising weaknesses in the invasion, should be laughed at.
1730h
Only one fucked up distraction today. Enforced feeding time. Then back to work.
22 mar
I have some low-error rituals : eating, sleeping, showering, brushing my teeth, getting dressed?
But exercise is not among them. Time to plan.
2036h
Maybe I just need to take a chill pill until I'm 45. Catch up on hobbies. Guess it depends on social demands.
23 mar
Physical exercise officially elevated in priority to match the brushing of teeth.
Recently I have not been working well, and I wondered if it is due to the ergonomics of my home office's temporarily-backless stool. I find myself spending more time in bed, and less at the desk. I am just going to blame this, and the recently low quality of sleep, on the recent lack of exercise. Lifting a few reps of heavy weights, or sprinting a few strides, quickly recalibrates a few dozen (hundred?) mechanical junctions at once - stupidly more efficient than trying to do it manually in linear form. Sex is also physical exercise, so I shoud probably make a point to masturbate more often also, whenever I am not partnered.
This reprioritisation was supposed to happen based on economic demand - I guess, it took from 2003 to 2022 to generate enough demand. Adulting, for the win.
0546h
Imposter syndrome for the self-satisfied looks like this: every so often you ask yourself if you're simply conning yourself into believing that you are happy. Maybe you should be working harder, in a different direction. Successfully dealing with such imposter syndrome, given the premise of self-satisfaction ... usually just means reaffirming the belief that other people are simply unhappy and that is mainly their problem.
Anyway, I am 39, and today's draft projection is to relax a bit and not rush to make six-figures a month in the next coupla years ... rather, perhaps in seven, by 45. The time may be spent raising children, completing studies of various crafts, and collecting another degree or two.
1054h
Gradually hewing away at the backlog of stupid errands. Hoping soon for more focused hours at work.
Review of critical chain looks something like :
- main impediment to work is lack of sleep (10h/d)
< Blocked by insufficient exercise
< Blocked by insufficient nutrition
< Blocked by insufficient budget
Ok, I think I can work with this.
24 mar
Need to start testing oil components in moisturisers.
Will also backlog to put blue light on a timer, targeting 5am.
25 mar
0335h
Undernourished.
Reached out to an old friend.
Mock sleep. Meetings, in nine hours.
Thin sliced job interviews!
1. information technology work : "are you afraid of the dark?"
2. sales jobs : "are you comfortable with eye contact?"
3. finance jobs : "do you enjoy being right?"
26 mar
Up late. Worried that circadian is out of sync with colleagues'. However it is Saturday - and it seems like just last year this time I was looking at talent quantification systems also, elsewhere. Enforced work. Hopefully a fully day.
Every time I see Balanced Scorecard components presented as an unordered set, I want to smack a consultant on the head.
27 Mar
Google indicates the fraction of oil in body shampoo recipes to be 25-33%, so let's start at 15-20% ...
... so first emollient body shampoo test is about 18% rice bran oil, and the remainder is base shampoo.
28 Mar
0237
Reviewing 2021 draft audit report.
0422
Explaining to my landlord's rental company that his company seems to have submitted my name to the defaulters list by mistake.
Explaining to my housing loan officer ... etc.
Adulting problems, oh well.
2041
Ignoring environmental outcomes, and looking only at the nominal cost of electricity, 8kg heat pump dryers appear to earn back their initial investment over non-heat-pump-condenser dryers, under four years, only if you do a full load daily.
2158
Moved a lot of distractions in the past coupla months. Maybe back to soldier mode in a bit. Terrible issues await me.
29 Mar
Ratio #3 :
~ 10.0% oil
~ 0.2% anhydrous citric acid
