2025-12-11 at 2:06 am
astroturfing on divisive issues in Malaysia
2025-12-10 at 2:15 am
bdnf
2025-12-09 at 5:59 pm
How to Befriend a Child in Need
How to Befriend a Child in Need : a Guide for Adults
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I had a friend, who was concerned for the well-being of a minor, that was not under their guardianship.
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1. Minor is not your kid, so you can't do anything authoritative about minor. Guardian has jurisdiction unless you want to call social services on them, there is a law and protocol etc.
2. You CAN be a friend. This is complicated as you basically have to juggle the following :
- 2.1. Communicate that you "see" minor and are willing to be an available resource, whenever they want to reach out.
- 2.2. Explicitly note, with minor, that you mutually acknowledge that minor is under their guardian's jurisdiction. So there is only so much either of you can do, if guardian orders minor to not do/do anything.
- 2.2.1. Anticipate worst case scenarios where guardian may block access, within legal limits. Preemptively establish methods for minor to communicate in an emergency.
- 2.3. Be aware of risk to yourself, that by creating relationship with minor you are potentially liable for grooming accusations. So all goodwill extended has to be preemptively planned, and risk managed on your side, to the limit of your ability. There is no way to guarantee that you can be deemed harmless in court. You just have to decide what you believe is right for the (lawful) welfare of the minor now, and bet on your integrity in choosing actions. You may later be required to testify about this, to defend yourself. So you may need to seek legal counsel, if you wish to fully understand where you stand, in establishing such relationships.
3. Guardian's behaviour distasteful? That's just personal offense until someone gets terribly hurt. Basically nothing you can sue for. I don't recommend you think too much about it, but many people attach themselves frequently to such things. Unless you want technical coaching in learning to delete your own feelings, I have no further useful advice.
abstract human classes
Malaysians are not important. Because, humans are broadly not important - we just happen to be here. Social psychology shows us, that when people think HUMANS are important, then they think their INDIVIDUAL selves to be important. There is a bit of chicken and egg about, how one's self-perception affects one's species-perception, but we'll conveniently gloss over that, here.
I was probably about 2 or 3 (-years-old) when I learnt how to consciously negotiate social situations by testing hypotheses of causality. About 8 when I was formally introduced to hypothesis testing. About 14 when I understood that working a room was formulaic. About 20 when I realised that human consciousness can be completely mapped to quantifiable data structures.
So I think of individual people, and the species in general, with maybe 30% difference in complexity. I basically have a general concept of how people work, and for each individual I am aware of, including myself, I have maybe 20-30% more information to add to that underlying concept.
Often I am reminded that most people do not have such a vast concept of humanity. So each individual they meet requires some 70-300% new data on top of their underlying notion of how humans behave.
It's kinda cool to watch these things. I try not to pay too much attention to the world, but I am not yet dead so I just keep watching and taking notes.