/
If you don't have any emotions to show: if you don't actually feel anything, you're going to have to fake it, or face resistance lol
/
Who's your favourite supplier / brand for Manitoba flour (high protein wheat flour, W index > 350) ? KL/Selangor please.
/
Time for a nap. Then some paperwork and math to figure out if we are opening daily for 18, 12, or 6 hours per day for the rest of the month. Wish me luck.
/
Hmm. Contemplating credit card debt.
/
Managed to get enough sleep to do work, at 4:30am today.
/
Finance and accounts: 98.5% of time is consumed at the accounting layer. LOL
/
FOH GROUP:
Permission granted to use electric fly bat on cat, until it learns to stop coming inside.
/
"Can I donate a machine to your expansion project?"
"Dude, we're reviewing contraction projects..."
/
OK WE'RE BREAKING EVEN AGAIN. Now I just need to find working capital -_-
/
You can't idealise a population with zero fear and pain. A system without negative feedback is a physical system but not a biological one. Life ceases abruptly without pain. In view of that, it becomes a matter of public health that all members of a population experience some degree of pain... some of the time. Light ruminations over breakfast. Lol
/
Looking up options for loans (debt), credit facilities, with or without convertible options, for the little coffee shop. Sigh. PM if keen. :P
As expected, I'm terribly bored, but it's not my job to stop working on this. Ho hum, on we go...
/
You can never know the truth, so document the hell out of everything. The account speaks for itself.
/
I hate rushing design work.
/
Enforced recess.
/
Not healing fast enough.
/
If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go with others, and spend 85% of your resources on coaching, whipping, babysitting, and counselling. Then tell investors who would never spend more than 30% of their time on those activities, that this is the nature of the business. Because it is a meat shop. Then make fun of business aphorisms, while procrastinating between work.
.
If you want to come fast, come alone. If you want to come farther... do you get a girlfriend, or simply aim higher?
/
Enforced rest.
/
"Is Friday softcore still on?"
"What were we supposed to do?"
"That cafe."
"Er."
"Omg, it's called Soft Spot. I'm sorry. I think Soft Core is another cafe..."
"No it's not. It's porn. Why did I search for that..."
/
So are we saying that Trump was over there (Saudi Arabia), in order to start a war, so that the US can repeat 1991? Brilliant.
/
Hmm. Not yet dead. Much work to do. Not sure if feasible. Not a lot of room for reflection. Still cleaning up trajectories from 1-1.5 years ago. Not really in a mood to work. But, work needs to be done anyway, so off we go again. But first, another shower.
/
In marketing, I suppose there's green washing, and pink washing, and rainbow washing.
/
10 click jog. Pumped up with recent creatine supplementation, and 2-3 carby meals a day. Lost pulse data, but peak reading en route was 170+ and stable above 133 while strolling. Mostly focused on fine digit control. I've lost so much focus, in running form, since peak.
/
My geography of nationstates is so bad, it's not even funny.
/
Sometimes I wonder if I do the right thing. Then I figure that the right thing is to stick within formal boundaries, and push the limits where definitions are lacking. I guess it is a life.
/
So I made another old man sad today. A travelling contractor for the fire department walked into the shop, and represented himself as being from The Fire & Rescue Department of Malaysia ("BOMBA"). He arranged to take our fire extinguishers for service, and to leave his fire extinguishers behind for us to use in the mean time. He left a receipt. When I found the receipt, it had the name of private company X on it, not The Fire Department. I reprimanded our staff, and called the contractor back for a return of our goods. I called private company Y, from whom we had bought the goods, and asked for their service charge: it was 60% that of of X. I explained to X that based on our communications today, that he would not receive our business unless he could match 60% of his original quotation. He offered 80%. I said, based on the misrepresentation he had provided earlier, and his price, I would be giving the business to Y instead. I explained that I believe X was a good man, but that had flaws in his pitch. I said, he could have our business at the next cycle of service. X said our business was no good, and that we deserved to be robbed by truly dishonest people, then X left. I felt sorry for X. But I do not really care how long people have been engaged in their cultures, (25 years already, X said), if I believe the culture is not ideal, there is a good chance I will try to have nothing to do with it. We can all go to hell, or we can, and you can go elsewhere believing whatever you want to believe. :P
/
Pastry pathology -_-
/
Some people have difficulty understanding the motivations of stoics. They can be summed thus: the only thing to be outraged about is outrage itself. Rage is the enemy. If we find it in us, we study it. If we find it in you, we study you.
/
Small business execution: what can be done in three days with a larger team takes three months. So logically cohesive 14 day plan can take two years. Lol. This is expected of the talent in this industry. But sometimes I wonder if my patience will be the death of me. / 5pm on a Sunday: caught up on deeper sleep. Enforced washing, feeding, and work. Need to clean up a week of accounts, continue with the logistics for a menu update, and do monthly reporting. And then we die, based on statistics for the industry, but that never stopped some people from getting started. / I find my daily work still addresses failures from as long as 12-15 months ago. Not done yet, unable to move faster, quite accepting of incessant whining. Hoping for improvements in reduction of staff whininess. Hope. Haha.
/
People who reject determinism as boring certainly aren't as accepting of boredom as I am.
/
Ah crap. Got to see what I can do to get out of a late GST declaration fine tomorrow. Probably nothing. Busy busy. / The only thing I can do about our general backlog of work... isk to remind myself to work harder. / We'll just have to do with three less days of gross profit, I guess. Yadda yadda. / A full morning of cleaning up the past week's accounts (continued from yesterday). This inevitably includes whipping various parties which have not performed adequately on the task of bookkeeping. / Well that was traumatic. I think I need to break for lunch, before completing the update, and delivering the monthly report. / After lunch, I'm watching the staff work, and comparing it to performances I observed a year ago. I consider more recently developed aids, such as printed collateral, and I am reminded that much of it is lacking in polish. I wonder how others feel about their work, when they embark upon multi-quarter/year projects where obvious rubbish has to be tolerated for several periods before resources will allow for improvements. / Today's report begins thus:
/
Hello everyone,
/
it's been a years since the on-set of emergency conditions. I'm somewhat surprised to still be here. In this email I will address a few separate sets of thoughts.
/
1. Monthly financial reporting as of 31-May
/
2. Cash position as of 12-June
/
3. A look back to the beginning of the emergency, now 12-months old
/
4. A brief on the way forward
/
I actually find it too easy to form emotional connections with people. With great supply and limited demand comes the assignment of a low price. That is how I came to place little objective value on emotional connections. Technical conversations however, are generally in short supply!
/
Monthly IR: "Today's call started at 8:01pm, and ended 8:23pm. There were no participants besides myself. That is the report."
/
Start of the week. Drive to customs office to request reduction of fines. Get redirected to other customs office. Too late - return to shop for opening. Calculate risk of staff skipping work due to annoyance. Send digital memos on staff tardiness in hygiene and service: fortnightly repeat of the same issues. Call up second customs office - line busy: prepare to travel. Eat breakfast. Standby to fill in dead time before staff arrive, to print signage on tardiness issues. Plan to unclog sewer pipe after customs. Plan to handhold cooks on procurement before customs. Plan to print menus after shower, after sewer. Plan to coach cooks on cooking after menu printing. Ho hum
/
Rerouted to customs office #3. Almost misrouted to Putrajaya. Pulau Indah, here we come...
/
Next financial engineering sic challenge. Figuring out how to pay GST using a credit card... putting phone down to charge. I think i still have a cash flow crisis. But first lunch. Then sewers.
/
Brand collateralisation, takeaway cup designs,
Art:
The Creation of Adam replaced with a laptop worker and a cup of coffee. God is the barista.
Text:
"We live to work. And then we die. Start running."
/
Caught up on sleep. Back to the farm.
/
"This straw is ugly. There's already so much ugly stuff in this shop, why did you give me an ugly straw?"
"Don't worry, we'll run out of them soon. Do you like the new water glasses? They're much prettier than the old ones and they cost about the same."
"Do you want to say it, or should I?"
"I don't want to say it."
.
.
Clearly we still have too many people caring too much about the wrong things. But that will be fixed in time, if we survive, and we may not. Haha.
/
Brand collateralisation, takeaway cup designs, i2
Text:
Large: "We live to work. And then we die."
Small: "If you're looking for a feeling, you may be in the wrong cafe."
i3:
Text: Ordinary coffee.
i4:
Text: Get back to work.
i1v4:
Text: Get back to work. We live to work. And then we die.
i1v4-2:
Text: Why are you here?
Please, not the coffee. This is ordinary coffee. All coffee, is ordinary. That doesn't mean it has to taste bad. Ordinarily, coffee should taste fine, or you shouldn't have to drink it. Get back to work. We live to work. And then we die.
Why are you here?
i1v4-3: lose the first line of i1v4-2.
i5:
Text: Order coffee. Ordinary coffee. Get back to work. We live to work. And then we die.
i5v2:
Text: Get coffee. Ordinary coffee. We live to work. And then we die. Why are you here?
i6:
Text: Please, not the coffee. This is ordinary coffee. All coffee, is ordinary. Ordinarily, coffee should taste fine, or you shouldn't have to drink it. Get back to work. We live to work. And then we die. 💪💀
/
Generally I believe in hard underselling. Evidence should speak for itself - narratives should be pessimistic. If you still want something, your optimism should be based on intrinsic motivation, not on others' narratives. Yet I still find myself faced with disappointed counterparties. Perhaps I am unusually cheerful for a pessimistic person. Perhaps we're variously cheerful for the wrong reasons.
/
Cashflow back under control for the weekend. I hope. Back to sleep. But I may have drank too much coffee during QA activities just now, and I may not be able to fall asleep. Will work on the menu. This thing is not launching fast enough.
/
This is about enabling the IAAS/PAAS provider to gain marketshare in strategic sectors of the tech industry. There's nothing but brand equity, customer base, and timing the market versus rivals going on here...
/
Had a few good laughs today. Surely, my friends can be smarter than this.
.
"You should go on a holiday."
"Well, the business has lived hand to mouth for a year now. It doesn't seem that it will survive a properly long leave of absence by the core coordinator."
"It's barely surviving anyway, might as well let it fall over."
"True, but that's not the nature of the job."
.
"Isn't it silly to run on freelances, and flake-outs, with their high rates of attrition? Why don't you hire proper corporate citizens?"
"And incentivise them with what? The highest paid staff here makes less than a fresh graduate in an ops consulting/outsourcing firm."
(Collective LOL.)
.
"You should shut down the kitchen and focus on coffee and cakes."
"It's never once been viable to project success without a kitchen. Who on god's green earth needs more brown water and sugared fluff from a cornershop? People will eat basic food, no on eats basic cake."
.
"Is this not like calling wolf, again, and again?"
"The premise of the fable of the wolf is that help came the first and second time, and no wolf was found. I've been holding down the wolf for a year, and no one's come into the cave to grab it. Same wolf. Big wolf. Not yet dead wolf."
.
"Are you wasting your time here?"
"If I had anything else to do, why would I bother to operate a restaurant? It sure as hell ain't because I like to eat."
(Collective LOL.)
.
... I'm sure a few more punchlines will bubble to the fore after a little nap...
.
(Right, here goes...)
"How about opening from 8am to 10pm?"
"But those aren't even our most profitable hours. And why would we want to compete in the exact same space as the market mode?"
(Perhaps we should, nevertheless...)
.
"Are you paying lipservice to shareholders in terms of being interested in their advice?"
"I'm not interested in their advice, but I'm responsible for being polite in accepting it. What I'm interested in is operational or financial assistance."
"Who in their right mind would grant it?"
"It's kind of obvious that the probability is low. But despite the low probability of receiving a positive response to my requests, I believe the simplest form of cooperation has been for me to repeat the same request, nonetheless."
"Communications have been uninformative."
"I believe my messaging has been consistent. I decided to focus on repeating a consistent message, because I believe the message is difficult to accept."
/
Mid-sleep-phase blurness and post-breakfast sugar crash, I'm wondering if it's just better for the world if we stop work. Hmm.
/
Does anyone have an opinion on the statement: "Co-working spaces will go the way of gyms, in terms of business modelling,"?
/
OK - 89 combo items that we're adding to the menu, successfully imported to the POS. Now to tune, and debug. I guess this is the last straw :P
/
1MDB: Malaysia finally making a commercial impart on the global art scene. Goes to show you need big, fat, round, blustering governments, to get shit done. Lol
/
Back to work again.
/
Horrible start to the day. Went to office. Staff not in aprons. More QA. Want to vomit. But first, breakfast.
.
Make a coffee. Coach kitchen on not overstuffing the cake supply. Increasing effort on new menu prep. Coach FOH on retail display design. OK. Back to stationery...
/
My rainbow is not your rainbow. In fact, why hasn't the coalition of meteorological rainbow guardians started a campaign to combat the cultural appropriation of rainbows for sexual representation? Among other things...
/
I just realised that our food production pipeline involves JIT compilation...
.
On the verge of credit card debt, I think I should avoid going out tonight. Sleep, showers, lazing... are affordable. A car ride, perhaps. To survey the market...
.
Tomorrow is for bookkeeping, and financial planning, and buying shoyu, I think..
.
Sun's up. Nervous system still running due to "yesterday"'s coffee, too recently administered. Up, and at the mountain of undone things.
.
It turns out that the most effective way for me to save money is to just not pay myself. Otherwise I typically end up consuming my paycheque on consumables.
/
Wondering what life would be like if I wasn't so easily fatigued.
/
So someone suggested that I take 5HTP supplements, and I started reading up on serotonin pathways, and now I'm wondering if serotonin syndrome can result from too little sleep combined with too much sex. God damn, one day we'll have more data on so many metabolic pathways and their interactions with daily life. One day.
/
I feel sorry for people who live for ideals about what the state of humanity should be like. I am only alive because I haven't been put into so much pain that I kill myself. Each to their own way about the earth. Good morning, Sunday.
.
I miss physics. Maybe I try to make all the things I do at least as hard as physics. Also maybe I see people as types not things too much.
.
Caught up on sleep.
.
Caught up on bookkeeping.
.
On to cashflow plannning...
/
I think the hardest bit about being bad at some activity is not letting it affect your enthusiasm for getting it done. A few points on that.
.
First of all, in light of that, it's important to really minimise enthusiasm at the onset of any project - this sets the bar low, and keeps expectations manageable, and service levels affordable, and therefore contributes to the sustainability of effort.
.
Second, despite constant enthusiasm at the quantifiable levels of timely delivery, the subconscious part of the brain is still going to goof off and bring to bear long-ago evolved negative feedback mechanisms that characterise the majority of human endeavour: these mechanisms are selected for specifically because in general it is useful to mutate strategies when one does not work... whereas this evolved trait is completely useless in scenarios where the strategy is to remain in rigid formation. Recognising this is key to implementing the latter form. Despite constant, low enthusiasm, efficiencies of delivery will always suffer from negative feedback, and so processes and tactics must always be in ready to address the fuckall tendencies of the given human mind.
.
Third, it is generally very hard for people who are used to being flexible, to turn themselves to stone. Pun intended. The main issue in my project over the past two years has been to combat a natural aversion to wandering attitudes among staff. Most people who sign up for a minimum wage job are not expecting to be dragged through an operation that requires, we may say, a sort of military discipline. But the latter is the only way to provide uninspired, underqualified, muppets with a modicum of a probability to succeed in competitive environments against organisations with far greater capital resources.
.
Anyway, whatever I demand of the staff, I generally find that I need to apply to myself, so on we go. A lot of people tell me that the way I am going about it is weird. But since generally they aren't around to actually do it for me, I guess I can only depend on myself to get things done. Myself and anyone I can work with that doesn't give me a sense of pushing on a string, of course. Haha.
.
I do hope this is over soon. After a year under emergency conditions, I'm quite ready to pass the mantle on to someone else. Heck, I was quite ready after the first month of the emergency. But that hasn't been the point of the job, I guess. So on we go...
.
Addendum: upon further reflection we have had fewer problems with the minimum wage workers, than with those paid above minimum wage. Haha. Hmm.
/
Every INTP dictator needs an ESTJ, an ISTP, and an ISFJ subteam... and if team can't be afforded... tada, timesharing... four types in one head...
/
Lunch. Then more bookkeeping.
/
Why would anyone need nasi lemak flavoured condoms, when boiled starch, coconut oil, and fried anchovies already smell like cum... #wtfmalaysia
/
Circadian is back on the 6am workday.
/
"My cooks are killing me. Not ready to launch new menu. Cannot advertise. No revenue. Cash crunch."
"Based on your performance this evening, I think I can get you RM800/hour."
"You sure ah? Better than software development neh."
"About the same. Er, wait, that is the price for females."
"FML lah, where got demand for straight cis male?"
"You wait, I find for you."
"Mak, pund..."
/
Testing a deal-of-the-day promotion with RM50 in advertising targeting a 6.4km radius.
/
Praps low body temperature has been messing up kinesthesia of late. Fixinc
/
Shred margins. That is the name of the game. And then we die. Haha
/
Enforced feeding time. Wake up. Stare into abyss. Stares back. Tell her that her eyes look puffy. She smiles. It may be sweet, but she'll still disembowel you for breakfast. We know all this before it begins. Thus the nature of calculated, and accepted, risks.
/
I miss Erlang. And FP in general.
/
On Jack Ma's guideline for age behaviour: On track for 20, 30, but probably spending too much of my 30s being 50, and 20s being 40, and generally less interested in being 40 and 60. 50, 40, 20, 30, 60 is a good prioritisation for me.
/
Brew espresso. Watch oil drops bouncing on water everyday. No guarantee your coffee will taste good if it's brewed that hot though LOL.
/
Spent the whole day on people management. This is supposed to be important, right?
/
Standby for kitchen kamikaze. Lol. I didn't think it would be as trivial as this, but perhaps it shall be. Responding to mutinies at 5am. I wonder why I bother. I suppose, I believe that staff can improve in quality. If they cannot, then I suppose it is correct not to bother, so it is time to end. I like to arrange my affairs so that others make my decisions for me. Here it has been fairly simple, albeit disappointing.
/
"Your coffee today was really good. The tamp was great. The fruitiness was ummph!"
"Thanks, I guess that means we're doing our job ok."
"I know that what you do is very artistic, so it will change a bit from day to day."
"Yes, we get various beans from the factories; they are never exactly the same."
"It must take great passion!"
"I don't understand what you are saying, but I will defend to the death, your right to say it."
#biggestkilljoyintheindustrymaybe
/
Ok - it took nine months - but we brought lost menu items. Enjoy. Or forever hold the pieces. :D
/
Kitchen crew missing after start of shift. Brilliant. Lol
/
Most people just have no discipline. The relationship between diet and mood is multivariably layered, and a lot of practice is needed to align inputs and outputs. Single attempts to achieve calibration only produce noise.
/
Breakfast. Groceries. Bookkeeping. Marcomms.
/
I've read a lot of news over the past year, including a bunch of US supreme court coverage. If I lived in the US, I'd probably just sign up for law school as there's a clear path between the legal profession and public service. That has never been the case during my lifetime, as the rule of law in Malaysia has been a sham, with no clear indication that the alternative is viable without deep structural changes to government. Without denigrating the efforts of folks in the legal profession here, I have to say, I'd still put my chips elsewhere. Lol.
/
Covering shifts at the bar. Time to forget the pressing need to do anything else. I always wonder if I'll remember to reset myself properly after adjusting my memory like this. Run script...
/
FOH whatsapp group:
HARLO.🙋🏻♂ (Happy Eid, to all those celebrating.) Small issue came up. Folks 👩👦👨👧on this team have been sending me storific comments 🗒📂🗂🗄that border on conspiracy theories, so I need to make a brief statement of equally storific advice 🤠on how to deal with it. Sorry for the interjection 🙏, please ignore 🙉🙈 if you're not actively competing for shifts, you don't know what this is about, and if you don't want to know.
Theory 1⃣: There is a clique of staff who are refusing to take shifts with folks outside their clique. 🚧👨👩👧👧👨👩👦👦🚧 Horrible theory. 🙄
Theory 2⃣: There are staff who are subpar in performance, that are spending paid hours doing irrelevant stuff. 🖕🏼🤳🏻😴🖕🏼💅🏻🖕🏼Also a horrible theory. 🤔
So...
if you believe 1⃣ is true, and you believe that it is unfair, you are probably right. Life is not fair - we don't force people to like us, we have to manipulate them to do so: you can check out the self-help section of the book store on Politics, Charisma, and Rhetoric 🎭. I'm not your mom 👩👦🚫so I'm not going to walk you around the playground asking all the kids to play ball with you. Do it yourself. Learn to steal the ball. 🏀
If you believe 2⃣ is true, you are also probably right. 🤷🏻♂ Just hang in there, wait for economics to prevail, and for the losers to quit or get fired. 🙀 W'evr. K. Everyone who feels that they are under-informed 😞, and learning too slowly has been mandated to schedule my time 📆 for training 👩🎓👨🏼🎓. If you don't do that, it is your loss. 👎
However, finally, 3⃣, there's a miniscule chance that everyone is slightly wrong about all of this and that what's needed is for people to speak directly to address 🗣🎤 specific individuals who are providing them with problem, be it ops staff, the scheduler, or myself.
I personally think that 3⃣ is the most beneficial direction. If we raise problems immediately, in public, we can raise solutions also daily. People can sleep better 😴, hold fewer resentments😤🚫, and the scheduler can have an easier time making the team grow stronger 😙😓.
Anyway, that's my general view on things. Please try to get along with each other. Thank you, if you bothered to read and think about this.
Good evening.
🌝
/
Back on shift. That was fast.
/
Breakfast!
/
"Your job doesn't include watching out for my health." (Sketchy statement.)
"If you are going on shifts, I have to be concerned for your well-being, unfortunately."
"Thank you for your love and kindness."
"Ew, go away."
"Now please reprioritise and raise the quality of service by counselling or firing, whichever is appropriate. Get on with it. Or I will hiau you some more."
"Omfg. Ew. Bye."
/
Going to cover shift for 30 minutes. Then I need to massage my brain into marcomms mode. Urg. I like being a generalist but the context switching it turning me schizo.
/
It's pretty straightforward from a trade policy point of view. If you have localised poor people, you don't have to import them.
/
Enforced waking. I smell death. It's been over fifteen months now. One gets used to it, day in, day out. / Marcomms. / Breakfast. / Coffee quality. / Food speed. / Cash flow. / Tired.
/
Tired. We have too much ad data. This is a good problem, right?
/
"Hi our technician will visit your office on Saturday."
"Please have him confirm the time with us."
"He will just turn up."
"Please give us his number, so that we can contact him to coordinate on timings."
"We're not sure which technician is going to your office."
.
Quality of MNC business operations when they're run by locals. LOL
/
On women not committing enough crime to be taken seriously: Lean in. Kill a few people. Hmm?
/
Persuading old people to get HPV vaccines is harder if they are unable to comprehend the implications of statements in the literature regarding probabilities and statistics. But that results from a general issue with literacy. On top of this we have healthcare practitioners who advise clients to not get their shots, quoting such statements. It is rather troubling, once you crunch the risk-reward ratios and the relatively low costs of the vaccines (RM700-2000 every 5-15 years). Look at the rate of car ownership in this country: they think nothing of paying for car insurance because it is a regulatory requirement... and then some will be fucking around, yet unwilling to pony up for a seatbelt, because it is not required by public policy. It is quaintly absurd.
/
Officially two years on project and one year under emergency conditions. Whee.
/
It's good to see familiar faces around, regardless.
/
If you don't like how someone looks at you, tell them to have their face remodelled. Don't come running to me about it - your deep seated fear of social interaction is bleeding into my lane... LOL. I will tell this to you if you are a staff, a customer, my mother (especially my mother), or a friend... jesus, you need Jesus.
.
(Afterthought: after over a year of counselling people on this stuff... perhaps my next gig is as a motivational speaker. Some days I wake up and I don't understand low self-esteem. I really don't. I may have to thank my parents for that - my dad's already disavowed responsibility for any weird traits I may have developed over time. Hahaha.)
/
Having a continuous disdain for people who want things, is probably the most difficult part of doing business. Such is life. In order to be entertained, I must annoy myself.
/
It will be miraculous if I emerge from this project unscathed. But the assumption was that it would be either burdensome, or be something entertaining, so on with it. I just hope for quicker deaths. Haha.
/
Explaining the economics of our sales strategy to staff.
☝with the new menu out, and photo flipboard all there... it's really easy to open EVERY conversation with "Hi, I'll give you a free drink! You just have to spend twenty-five Ringgit on food. No? Ok, for future reference."
☝consider it a "new standard greeting." The reasoning behind this sales pitch is as follows. People will typically want one drink, always one drink, and only one drink, no matter the price*. But with food their interests are somewhat more negotiable. End result: it is waayy easier to persuade someone who is not hungry to buy more food, than to persuade anyone to buy a second drink. This is why we can drop the drink price to zero, as long as we push up total sales. 🤜👊💪🙏
(* Technically, in economics we say that drinks are demand inelastic.)
Glhf. Operating hours will be reviewed daily based on daily sales, and may change with seven days notice.
/
On the 500 vs. magic sexual harassment complaints: and before anyone can say holy motherfucking sex symbol... the titans blow. Guess there's always a bigger fish.
/
I have a version of this painful, but trite conversation, fairly often, whenever meeting past investors, potential hires, and other well-meaning whoopsie-doosies who think that we are trying to build a restaurant business at all costs. So for posterity, here's the caricature of it:
.
"We're always looking for help, in operations."
"You're too focused on operations, your strategy is incorrect."
"No actually, this strategy is the reason we exist."
"You want to give people free wifi?"
"Yup. Everyone is afraid of giving out free wifi, and welcoming long-sitters, but we're going to explore how this can work."
"But you've shown that it doesn't work, look... you're out of capital, and you're repeating a disproven experiment."
"We're out of liquidity for reasons other than the impossibility of the business model - we hired flakey people, and operations suffered in every department. That doesn't mean the business model is disproven, it means that the entrepreneur (me) was a lousy talent manager."
"So turn off the wifi."
"That would be like blowing up two rockets and deciding to switch business models to low-earth orbit space tourism."
"You won't turn off the wifi? But you're going to wipe out."
"We'll know that we tried when we wipe out. Until then, we only know that are trying. We can't demonstrate failure by avoiding it - that goes against the principles of science."
"Start charging for space."
"Ah, but we already have businesses that do that... we decided not to do that because they already exist. We can't add any value to the market by duplicating any proven business model - that would be like selling cake, and pimping charming photos to plebs on Instagram."
"Are you trying to fail?"
"No, we can do all the proven tactics if we demonstrate that the thesis itself is worth preservation. Known tactics are best practices - but the purpose of a startup is to evaluate unknowns, otherwise it has no reason for its risk allocation."
"Is this due to passion?"
"It's not about believing in a dream. It's about setting a definition, then working within the limits of the definition. The definition is not meant to be so loose that it is easy to reform it."
"Your shareholders share the same view? Is it disingenuous to oppose them."
"No they don't. In fact, many of them oppose my view. But I have a minority stake, and we have a clear, formal, mechanism for voting whereby a majority can force* my hand. To-date, my hand has not been forced*. I can't say more than that at this time."
"Are you wasting your time here?"
"People who have better things to do do not run restaurants. By my understanding, it is a job that is defined as navigating the company to the end of its resources in order to fulfil its purpose. Quaint job - simple job - wring all possibilities out of a limited set of financial and human capital."
"Can you get hurt?"
"Well, I do not have reasons to preserve myself, beyond the curiosity of perpetual entertainment."
"Sounds dodgy."
"Well at least I haven't dodged out of the job, so no one is holding that against me. We might disagree on the definition of the job, but in the absence of force*, I'll conduct myself by self-definition."
/
No time for fun things. Not all the fun things, anyway. 0942 staff missing. Switch into bot mode, and deploy coffeeshop!
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Oops. We nerd an official letter in order to renew our table and chairs license. Guess it's not happening today.
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Ok. Bored - work is slow. Take more drugs - so more coffee. Then work will still be boring, but it will pass by quicker. On we go.
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"Slow down. I can't die while I'm still fat!" #overheard
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If you model a business as an information system, two software assets are considered intangible, specifically because the business as an individual exerts no property rights (absolute command) over these two systems. The first is human capital in the traditional sense of the word: the qualities of upstream meat which are most closely traded by the business - further upstream this graduates into supply networks. The second is brand equity in the traditional sense of the word: the qualities of downstream meat which are most closely traded by the business - further downstream this graduates into public relations networks. Up and down the value chain from the core assets of the balance sheet, lie such repositories of wealth. But unofficially, for in finance we must value things conservatively.
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People who blame arrests on the arrested:
I'm a statist. Maybe.
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I don't care what hipsters call it. Brewing coffee, is cooking. Roasting coffee, is cooking. The point is knowing how to cook, not knowing how to (do some subset of cooking).
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Taking enough stimulants (caffeine): worried about work. Not taking enough stimulants: not worried about work. I think it's pretty much why I consume caffeine in the first place - the only reason, is to get work done.
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SSH-ed into shop router. Sigh. Why is life so complicated? :P
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Covering every other shift. Whee. Need to drug up. Good thing we're a drug store.
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Not looking forward to adding out $95,850 to that pile (of dead, funded, companies)... but oh well. Anyone got a hookup with Masayoshi? Fresh capital would be good right now.
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O: there is coffee, as a minimal set of interactions in itself.
O2: there are conversations and other interactions about the world in general including O, but leading up to O.
O3: there are conversations about the universe of O2, and how one strategises about O2.
O4: probably a reduction to analytics in general, and speech about speech.
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Now replace coffee with sex. It seems a lot of people dither around in O2. Some people do a lot of O, considered high risk, low intimacy engagements, then call it more meaningful when they get O2. Yet other people do O2, and O3, and O, in equal proportions... but that is less common.
.
I think for me, O2 is the baseline, but O3 is ideal. Why is O less common? I think you need to be hot, or rich, or very free for O to happen frequently - not my strong points. O4 is probably my natural habitat.
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Determining physiological adjustment efficacy on cognitive performance recovery:
... sometimes it is best to just study the effects of a meal, by observing the behaviours of muscles, nerves, and the imagination, for a period of 2-3 hours, while ignoring most other information. Typically it tells me something about how my body is responding to blood sugar levels, if neural tone is in a good* state versus if networks between conscious memory and the peripheral nervous system are simply providing lower quantities of ambient data.
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* Falsifiable hypotheses in this domain include assumed definitions of what those networks are doing under various bands of acceptibility.
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95% of philosophy majors have good jobs?
Still looking for a good job. Must be a 5-percenter.
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"Let's go on a sleep date."
"WTF is a sleep date?"
"We meet up, and go to sleep."
"Oh, like a co-nap!"
"Did you just make that up?"
"No, I mean... it's the obvious permutation of the colloquial 'co-work'... which I find to be ridiculous anyway. I mean, look... if we're going to date, screw the sleep, and if we're going to work or sleep, then screw the company... otherwise it's so lacking in focus."
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Aw shit. We fucked up the data logs again. So then I get asked by the highest paid staff on the roster, "do you like the taste of this?".
.
"This tastes really weak. But if you want X, you have to do Y to it."
"Really? You want to do Y to it? But it is a Z."
"This is in the logs - did you read the logs? People are not using the logs the ways logs are supposed to be used. If you want the short answer, pull 24g out at 35s. If you want the long answer, read the logs, digest every line of commentary, and then we can have a discussion. Otherwise we have wasted everyone's experience with this bean. That's all I have to say for now, I don't think I have to say anything else, as I'm really really tired, and it is really really draining, to have to repeat myself on an almost daily basis about this... for two years."
.
Following this, I return to my computer, and find that a minute or two ago, I was working on sales data, and data reporting for marketing communications. Context switches are very expensive, and I can rarely keep myself together in getting all the work that needs to be done, done. But that is the nature of the enterprise, it is expected. :)
.
After that I have to estimate if it is worth my time to reprimand the entire team. Given that any reprimand will be short, it will not be easily accepted. So at this point, I am deciding not to start another flame war. Hahaha.
/
For once I have time to do proper marcomms... at least half-way decent work. Maybe a quarter way, but whatever...
/
Question for auditors. So the audit report on my company that the auditor sent back, signed with approval, differs slightly from the balance sheet and P&L that I submitted to the accounting company that worked as an intermediary between the auditor and my company.
Is this normal?
Should we attempt to modify our internal accounts to match the signed report? Or is that not necessary?
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Breakfast time. Then to try and collect my thoughts about this business, and its counterparties.
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"Is there nothing you're not learning?"
"I suppose I haven't yet learnt the same lesson learnt by all the business people who don't work in Malaysia anymore."
😛
/
Repairing a fridge in Malaysia:
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Customer: "Looks like the compressorABC's busted (label is for type-X gas)."
Supplier A: "OK, we'll replace it for RM1050 parts and labour for type-X gas, or RM950 parts and labour for type-Y gas."
Supplier B: "We can't find a new compressorABC; we'll charge you RM450 for labour only."
Supplier C: "We'll charge you RM500 but use type-Z gas."
Supplier D: "We found a new compressorABC, but we don't provide services: RM720 only."
.
Customer: "OK, Supplier C gets the job."
Supplier C: "Done."
Customer: "Why do we now have a partDEF installed that says on the label that it's using type-Z gas when we agreed to use type-Y?"
Supplier C: "I don't know, my boss told me to do it like this. The label says type-Z, but we used type-Y gas inside."
.
Supplier D: "That photograph of the new compressor partDEC that Supplier C installed? We use the same brand."
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Supplier F: "PartDEF costs RM300; if you used type-Y gas, the one you want is PartDEFY - which costs only RM310."
.
#fml #gg
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In general, it turns out that type-Z gas machines can use type-Y gas with, or without partial retrofitting.
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"I still think that F&B retailers are only efficient if they're managed in bulk. Bootstrapping before anything like that happens - different story. LOL. Perhaps I should have focused on raising a superfund to just buy up all the other cafes instead of trying to bootstrap one. Since one more cafe dies nearby every two weeks. LOL. In other words... I really despise the absence of detailed management in many mom-and-pop-sized operations."
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Every society has its moral police.
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Lots of rest down, but probably not enough. Must remind oneself to habitually disassociate commercial counterparties with the set of things in life which are allotted emotional involvement. On with work! Colleagues, customers, and suppliers, here I come.
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A moderately busy day looks like this.
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0915 Minion screams WAKE UP BEE BOO BEE BOOO BOOM!
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0925 Crap. I'm late. Pull on yesterday's clothes. Open shop. Cook on time. Front of house missing. Bored texting. Where is B?
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0945 A turns up. A was originally scheduled, B replaced, but then A had to reverse. Ok. Whatever. Breaking fast. Shovelling noodles down the trap. Chase it with general protein, creatine, B12. The latter appears to have more of an effect on gut bacteria behaviour than anything else. Shrug - whatever works, placebo, or not.
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1030 Cooks were supposed to place orders on Thursday. Orders for soba came in on Friday - suppliers probably closed. Someone wiped the whiteboard and it is bare AF... frantic Googling for content: HPV vaccine PSAs... up next, mental health, economic development, global poverty. 3:30pm-10:00pm shift is still unstaffed due to an emergency cancellation. B offers to start work at 6pm. Champ.
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1100 Go shopping for soba. Also pick up magnets for posters.
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1200 Back in shop. Posters up. Various operational bases touched with FOH and cooks. Chug the coffee. Weak - should have tamped harder. Time to snake the sewer from the manhole. Getting ready with protective equipment, lye, and twelve feet of rubber tubing... the plan is to snake the loo, wash, and get on shift by 3:30pm. Whee. That was the sound of me trying to amuse myself. It doesn't really work.
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1422 Sewer dive complete. Pipes clear. Cleanup complete. Some dilution of detergent for the general use of the shop. A offers to cover till 6pm, B offers to cover from 6pm. Ok day.
Edit
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June 2 to July 15 end.
