Chit chat with a professor I used to be on a committee with.
"I found a useful word today - it talks about the sum of human knowledge in the context of environmental epochs.
My concern as an undergraduate was that some syllabi ( my school in particular ) didn't have an authoritative view on how a student was to traverse the sum of it. That's how I ended up on the edu committee ... as I was spending all my free time figuring that out."
( maybe 1.5 stories )
---
"Some idiot has been messaging me to go to Singapore. Why would I do so now? Is someone paying me upfront? LOL"
"Hahahaaaaaaaa. Is it a scammer? 🤣🤣🤣"
"old friend - the type that might turn up at your home and take a nap naked, and scare your housemates type - I am a very tolerant person, but I am also capitalistic about entertainment"
---
Before I discovered that my inbox had been assaulted by that last barrage of naivete, I was preparing to write down what I was thinking about during lifting today.
But now the memory is lossy. So, I will try to reconstruct it adequately.
I think, most of my life, I have been up to my eyeballs in stupid people. Even just in getting from thinking about it, to writing it down, I can get interrupted by some of the same. It's incredibly, bewilderingly, definitive of my lived experience. I wouldn't know how else to describe it to anyone.
And my sense, is that most people don't feel the same way about others. And, based on what I can tell about other people, most of them do not feel so because they do not in effect see how many people are scratching themselves while eating, fucking, and doing business with others ... just in a somewhat more sophisticated way, such as to be seen as well, adorable.
So we have strata of adorabobbles - broadly construed as virtue signalling, at different levels of society. Meanwhile, as a matter of laziness, I try to avoid most of it, while being careful enough to understand how it works.
So recently, I have been quite successful. I remember being 18 or 19 and lifting weights and thinking, I have better things to do with the limited time I have until my scholarship runs out, so I will do this later. And it was the same for studying maths. And now at 43, I have no more excuses, so I am doing both quite happily, as mundane as the activities are. I have done so many other things since, I started postponing the things I wanted to do. Now all I have is to do them, as I wait to find out when my capacity for these things evaporates with age. And then there will be choices to be made about how to die.
Perhaps.
---
"Some old friends has changed that they might not be the same person they were, and...you never know. Just saying hahahaha"
"it's true. there was another one, whom i loved. we didn't have a lot in common, but they, being an affectionate type, would occasionally accompany me in trivial settings. once after about ten years of not being in the same country, they were bored, and we fucked. and then they had work to do, and their affections were no longer communicated, and so we have become no longer friends, so so that is how children grow up, and older, into ordinary things that eventually disappear"
A parent asked, if others had asked their children, what their children wanted from education - and how to judge if the child's preferences or the parents' preferences were better.
I elected to share a canonical rant : before I went to Year 1 of elementary school, my parents asked if I wanted to study in a school with two, or three languages. I said two, because I wanted to be lazy. They sent me to the school with three. So for the rest of my life, I have been wary of fools asking meaningless questions.
Aside from that, of course life has provided many disparate experiences. Many have involved speaking with people who tell me, nicely or otherwise, that they believe I am not well-informed or well-opinionated. The problem with me, I find, is that while I am quite willing to accept these views, and submit to compromise, more often than not, I find that I should have paid less attention to them, because the speaker was foolish. I can only speak from my own experience, which is quite limited.
I do not believe this makes me intelligent, but sometimes intelligence is something you have whether you want to have it or not. And others lack it, whether you wish they had it or not.
And sometimes you are just stupid. :)
Resolved tasks from over two decades ago :
Mon Jan1 s2 m10 w40 d279 76.44%
1854 : Tried to wrap up accounts for 2023. Blockers :
- bank statements for Dec2023 don't come out on 1Jan (ahaha)
- debtor has defaulted on Dec2023 payment
On we go ... back to austerity mode for a bit, since overcommitting to socials in 4Q2023, and completely interrupting my work. Hoping to put my follies to death, and rebuild a lot of stuff that's been broken.
Tue Jan2 s2 m10 w40 d280 76.71%
1023 : Enforced feeding, and work. Cook the tofu, sand the floors.
1347 : Sending credit collectors after your personal friends seems odd ... but fair. What do you think?
2312 : Moderately productive day. Drove to Glenmarie to hand in a job application for CTO at Zus. Squeezed in two more business networking meetings before getting home, one in crypto and one in hospitality.
"
"
Sab2 week41/52 review
DEETS:
Wed Jan3 s2 m10 w41 d281 76.99%
0103 : 1. It's easy to forget the state of KL's city non-planning, until you use satellite view over it for a couple of hours.
2. DUKE is the ugliest highway in KL due to the small ramp intersections.
3. SPE is a hugely underutilised highway due to the absence of small ramp intersections.
4. From Ampang, there's no way to get on the SPE - you have to enter the SPE via the AKLEH<-TunRazak, or via the DUKE, or via MyTown
0128 : Time to catch up on sleep and meditation. First night in six weeks or so without any upcoming appointments.
1250 : Review of yesterday. Three fun distractions. But I am not keen on taking responsibility for small businesses at this point. Perhaps if I work out a fee that's high enough, I will retain some sanity.
1401 : IMO, it's better to retain a clear understanding of things, than to have strategic control over them. But that point of view is, of course, what I have come to specialise in ... as a minor power in the world - it is a guerilla stance. Were I less, or more privileged, my economic preferences would be different - that is simply the nature of things. The individuals of the world are rarely interesting - only their patterns.
1428 : Breakfast is followed by browsing the feeds. I am out of touch, and need to reacclimatise.
1844 : 4Q2023 was particularly draining. I took on a number of difficult projects, with some optimism, but these did not synergise in an ideal fashion. Some got cut. Most demonstrated significant progress from Q1 to Q4, despite net drains in Q4.
On the second day of consolidation following Q4, I am reviewing my cognitive capabilities to optimise for outstanding work. TBC
1853 : ""I don't like brainstorming. I like optimisation problems. I just spent seven hours over three meetings with a client who wants to develop a resource, but they can't decide what other variables to lock down.""
1921 : I need to buy a garage. Somewhere to weld in peace.
2048 : Replaced brake light. $0.38.
Need to spend more energy trying to forget all the useless details from the last six weeks of meetings ... memory is still too occupied to focus on work.
Thu Jan4 s2 m10 w41 d282 77.26%
0044 : 4Q2023 I chose to prioritise family and friend activities. It was a mistake. I regret it. I will keep reminding myself about this until I fix it.
0152 : Procrastination is a trauma response.
I study my trauma, to destroy the response.
1035 : My dad made a living from helping people, and being likeable. So I acquired many of those skills at a younger age.
Nevertheless it always seemed too easy, and I've subsequently spent most of my life seeking entertainment from disagreeability.
In business, success depends on likeability. That is, if we define success as likeability.
Obviously I idealise entertainment over success.
1226 : Still struggling with the decision to move assets from Stashaway SRI36 to cash until the market decisively trends up, following any post-4Q2023 retracement. I'm going to stick with the fund manager's decisions for the time being!
2203 : Resourcing explained to a friend. Say I was functioning at about 25% productivity in 4Q2023. I would then be backlogged by about 2.25 months. I hope to be back at 100% output by EOM 1M2024, but that's optimistic. Hopefully up to 150% output at some point to catch up, but that's just really, really optimistic. And it'll never happen without paying, so I'm payin. Haha
Fri Jan5 s2 m10 w41 d283 77.53%
1024 : I wake to regret. It is a decent source of motivation, better than others, for now.
1106 : I anticipate regret. 2024 will get worse before I recover from 2023. Anticipation is important for the management of trauma. And my poor work is befitting of both.
1130 : I suppose that's what holidays are for - increased risk-on behaviour, which may or may not be regrettable later. For me, risk-on behaviour is devoting time to family and friends, which have been traditionally unreliable sources of well-being. I affirm my risk profile, and I accept my regrets for behaviours in 2023. This is my documentation.
1603 : There's a huge market for short-term, shitty work. I prefer the long-term, shitty work.
Going home for my second meal of the day, after some progress cleaning tiles.
1643 : I just realised, adults like me are the reason people send their kids to private schools. LOL
Sat Jan6 s2 m10 w41 d284 77.81%
1946 : So, 4Q2023 was a good example of how I shouldn't structure my schedule to fit people whose business ( and holidays ) follow office hours. Since, my business does not follow office hours, and is far more ad hoc.
Trying to instantaneously recover the lost opex from 4Q is a vanity. Perhaps I will try to recover it over the course of 1Q2024.
Sun Jan7 s2 m10 w41 d285 78.08%
1559 : Time to burn some stocks. Gotta focus on operations, at the cost of investment. Soon there will be neither.
1623 : When building businesses, I prefer not to talk about marketing until we've settled finance. I don't mean financial goals - those are arbitrary - I mean financial stakeholders, the folks who may waffle from goal to goal, but whose happiness is at stake based purely on financial performance.
I also prefer not to talk about talent management until we've settled both finance and marketing. Finally after settling financial and product stakeholder strategic goals, the chores of a talent management come into place. Talent management is like breathing - you can do it expertly, or ad hoc, and there will be a difference to the rest of the life of the business.
This is a hierarchy for all operations.
1841 : I've come to the conclusion that ""vibing"" is a modern term for intuiters to express that they can't exactly describe what they want. So it's a yellow flag.
2359 : Another weekend weaving some semblance of balance between the short-term distractions of friends and family ... and things that are actually worth living for, i.e. work.
Mon Jan8 s2 m10 w41 d286 78.36%
0115 : enforced bedtime
1046 : awake
1131 : Highly dependent on regret, as a crutch, this week.
1154 : Maybe by the end of January I will have recovered efficiency to last September's levels. Maybe by March. Maybe later.
I can only focus on regret. A singular motivation: discontent with oneself, without associating problems with other people. As fine as other people are, they must simply be deprioritised for anything good to happen on a predictable basis.
1214 : It's good to have goals. Unfortunately, my goals for the quarter are regressive. I need to restore my operational efficiencies to September 2023. That's something to think about as I go about my daily life.
1346 : Jan2024 investment economic outlook : slightly more positive YoY
> > black swan outlook : somewhat greater YoY
last 9 months :
> > opex + mortgage : 36k
> > social portfolios : heavily overbought LOL
> > R&D portfolios : greatly oversold LMAO
Time for reparations.
1435 : So ... 2024 Q1-Q2 management. Nominal target to make 150k, and keep opex low. Fat hopes, but if I don't noisily remind myself about risk management metrics, I'll never remember not to slack off. Hehe.
2106 : Mind boggling : the quantity of discussion in petrolhead forums about engine performance and handling ... versus the actual speed I see most people drive in this country ( also, given the legal speed limits ).
2152 : Strategic allocation : driving is taking up less of my opex than eating out. I should drive more and eat out less.
Tue Jan9 s2 m10 w41 d287 78.63%
1140 : up
1251 : Maybe I should just go back to architecture school.
1305 : but only if i run out of things to do - and i still have a massive backlog
1453 : global economy:Every industry has been cut, except real estate. As usual, real estate wants to be the last to go. Demand inelasticity simply means, poor people ""may"" get hurt very badly, before rich people decide to cooperate. And that's the civics of inflation management in a nutshell.
Wondering if we have to see real estate stocks get hit, and their bond yields spike, before all this is over. yee hah, 2024 ...
"
"
Sab2 week42/52 review
DEETS:
Wed Jan10 s2 m10 w42 d288 78.9%
0228 : As a terminator personality, one of my personal challenges over the year has been ... to spend wait-times on repair and recuperation, instead of simply blanking out in anticipation of execution-times.
0400 : Liquidating more equities. Rough month. I don't like talking about it, but talking about it is healthy.
I wish the people I lent money to would pay it back. I'm not too bothered if they don't, but it does give me a crapload of stuff to work on.
I wish the people I gave time to would figure out how to help me get some of it back. I don't mind if they can't brain it, but it does help to exchange notes now and then.
I wish I could find people I admire in my vicinity. Absent of those, locals will do for company.
I wish.
1031 : Enforced waking, feeding, cleaning.
1101 : up
1130 : Awake. More cleaning now. Enforced feeding.
1234 : Yesterday :
- provided support, twice, to an old friend
- met a new friend
- cleaned a bunch of sundry objects
- paid for notices to wind-up a partnership
Does not FEEL productive, but things gotta get done I guess ...
1642 : Cognitive sciences : I'm interested in a future where all hearts are unbreakable, even if that means there are no more hearts to break.
1653 : Whole days cooking, cleaning, and counselling. A simple state of life.
1802 : Naive people mistake manufactured beauty for intrinsic value. (The appreciation of beauty is evolved for, to determine the value of unmanufactured value.) But in serving the masses, one can control their attention for intrinsic value, by manipulating their naive reactions towards manufactured beauty. So manufactured beauty can be used for good, or bad, purposes.
Thu Jan11 s2 m10 w42 d289 79.18%
0130 : bed. three meals today, totalling about 116g protein
1045 : 2023 was ok, but not great. I have many issues to fix.
1144 : Biggest regret of
2023 : syncing up my schedule with new friends who work normal jobs, having the culture of scheduled leaves. I much prefer daily work, over weeks, and it was extremely disruptive to my work, and bottomline. I'm not going to say ""never again,"" as that's out of context. More appropriately, I just need to keep reminding myself to keep reminding myself to deprioritise other people, as no one else is going to do it for me.
Fri Jan12 s2 m10 w42 d290 79.45%
0247 : Executives who talk about AI as if it's something new, never understood HR.
Executives who talk about HR as if it's distinct from AI, don't understand AI.
Suffer, fools.
0328 : bed. active management of assets upwards has resumed.
0755 : Up early. Probably something i ate ( good, increasing gut generated neurotransmitters, gaseous signalling molecules ). Some alium maybe. Need to run more tests. Usually garlic or onions. Seems to increase circadian light sensitivity.
0903 : Sleep quality : also thinking about ventral cushioning, and vagus nerve stimulation. Wondering if it was evolved from social patterns.
Sat Jan13 s2 m10 w42 d291 79.73%
1804 : Time for enforced feeding.
Sun Jan14 s2 m10 w42 d292 80%
2224 : Much work has been done, but the long-term value of any of it has yet to be proven.
2313 : four months between major housekeepings / refactorings of storage. mind is less burdened now
2323 : Finally, updated my storage organisation after four months. Time to get back to physical conditioning. Beginning with a study of apparent sensations ... as I drink tea, sit in a chair, and listen to tyres on the freeway below.
Mon Jan15 s2 m10 w42 d293 80.27%
1004 : up. the year burns away
1246 : Back on standardised supplementation of tofu. Maybe I just didn't eat properly in December.
Tue Jan16 s2 m10 w42 d294 80.55%
0308 : A little progress in recovering short-term memory availability. Not sure if due to diet, or housekeeping, or both.
1058 : up
"
"
Sab2 week43/52 review
DEETS:
Wed Jan17 s2 m10 w43 d295 80.82%
0211 : So it turns out that the price of sugared management theory is ... about $10,000 to join a coaching program, and $3,000 to continue yearly.
Guess I would be rich if I liked selling sugar. Sugar sells, baby ... sugar sells fast.
0317 : fatigued. off to bed shortly. die another day, maybe
1244 : up
1331 : Give or take another 70 years and Malaysia will go through such a phase ( Heinlein on Americanism )
I'm going to spend an hour darning socks at my favourite Starbucks in Bangsar. Anyone who wants to hang out and chat for an hour, feel free to reach out. Probably around 5pm.
Thu Jan18 s2 m10 w43 d296 81.1%
0004 : Alright. Restarted active management - as absence of activity was causing fee rates to regress to earlier highs. Trying to get my life together despite a hectic 4Q2023. Fix all the things.
0209 : The past year has been a struggle to grow, while engaging with a society that slows me down. Looking forward to being proven wrong.
0219 : All aesthetic / culture wars can be summed up as,
""get your fucking value system, out of my fucking face.""
0330 : bed. important day today. gotta file for windup.
0920 : up with sunlight
1034 : 2012 Sabbatical1 : BloombergTV every day
2023/2024 Sabbatical2 : GS Exchanges ... whenever I can summon the attention
1154 : taugeh burgers : I don't think it does the media justice to simply throw tg into a bun and call it a burger. Of course, you have to make a patty. The question how to preserve the intrinsic texture and flavour profile of tg, while getting it to hold itself together, should be an interesting challenge. The further question of how to season the pattified tg, and to subsequently maillardise it to be marketable sounds like fun. Looking forward to the results. :)
1158 : Addendum : to get both ends of the spectrum, you'd probably want to at least try using a mix of dehydrated crisp tg, and the fresh stuff ... hmm
1457 : Applied to terminate an eight-year-old project today. Hope it goes well!
2035 : Good day to reset. Submitted application to SSM to wind-down the old partnership.
Had two social / business meetings.
Made a chart elaborating on how I spend my time on intimate relationships. (haha)
Talked to my condo manager about people feeding pigeons.
Fixed car light bulb.
Checked out the local public library.
2117 : Good day, hitting the eighth-year milestone on administrative stuff. Hope it doesn't turn into more roadblocks.
Initial meditations indicate that tomorrow, I should turn my focus to kinesthesia.
2149 : Review of hormonal triggers : I'm still too dependent on sleep, and edibles like coffee, and not prioritising exercise higher than food. Need to fix this over time.
2247 : My memory has been poorly managed these last few years, and especially this last quarter.
Sensory ratios are off. Need to boost haptics by 300%.
2253 : Altman calling for new power sources because ""AI takes too much energy"" ... the fool and his shitty algorithms will nevertheless make a few bucks while the sun shines.
2334 : Reviewing my study of sensory ratios from college, in light of recent studies on endocrinology. The matter of increasing the rate of feedback looping, based on actionable small datasets in the haptic modality, probably results in increased dopamine secretion. The attention molecule, which guides the passage of our apperception through time.
It is good to revisit old studies, and to combine them with new ones.
Fri Jan19 s2 m10 w43 d297 81.37%
0120 : Ventral cushioning for serotonin.
Haptic feedback for dopamine.
Hmm
0940 : Coffee as a matter of habit
1300 : enforced feeding
1341 : The largest distractions in my life have been people who asked for things I didn't offer them. Family, friends, society in general. At some point, each one got put in a box and flushed down the loo.
One ticket at a time, please.
1454 : I envy people who have found admirable things in the world. :)
1731 : Oh, the AKLEH becomes the SUKE..
1745 : Perhaps the music I have been listening to recently suppresses dopamine triggering mental processes.
1809 : People who don't say what they want, but complain when they don't get it, will suffer at their own expense.
But the world is full of babies and volunteer babysitters, so I guess it works out in the long run.
1906 : It's a comfortable life, helping the poor, weak, and foolish. It's an easy life. But it doesn't help me grow.
There are various times for various things.
1958 : Always a question I struggle with. Flush out the colleagues with inferiority complexes, or help them?
Such is life.
2020 : Employees didn't change. They're not more likely to ask for support from their employers.
The competitive environment changed. Employers started asking for more from each employee.
You get what you pay for.
Sat Jan20 s2 m10 w43 d298 81.64%
0001 : Following my gut. Time to go out for food because I ran out of brown rice and maggi.
0350 : down
0930 : up
Sun Jan21 s2 m10 w43 d299 81.92%
2053 : Kota Raya is flourishing!
Mon Jan22 s2 m10 w43 d300 82.19%
0040 : Maybe the only way to make kopi luwak actually taste like anything is to add grapefruit juice.
1307 : The week begins with gluing post-run shoes, and checking fund asset allocation. I've already had a coffee, and I will soon have some food.
1619 : A good reminder of how fast ( and slow ) the world is moving. A good context for reflecting on how far ahead, and behind, my understanding of the fundamentals is, versus some professionals. Ah well. Just gotta focus on my work, more.
( on BlackRock's Tony Kim on the 'dawn of a new intelligence era' on the GS Exchanges podcast )
1810 : Maybe I need to stop doing charity work. The last six months have been exhausting, and it's not helping my own work.
1958 : An afternoon of doing chores while listening to GS Exchanges at 1.2x time. A good reminder of how dumb my environment is haha.
2103 :
2230 : bed
2348 : Managing most people verbally, is like figuring out how to control a blob of dough with a stick.
Of course, using one's hands is systematically easier. But one either likes doing it for fun, or one needs to be paid to get their hands dirty.
Perhaps that is what I need to get paid to do, in general.
Tue Jan23 s2 m10 w43 d301 82.47%
0132 : A moderately volatile day, with many difficult counterparties to consider.
I probably need to figure out how to slot my various interests into separate portfolios :
- work that is incompatible with people who like to spend money
- work that is incompatible with people who don't like to lose money
- work that is incompatible with people who have severe reactions to unmet unspoken-expectations
- ditto ... that depends on people who like to spend money
- ditro ... that depends on people who don't like to lose money
- ditto ... that is compatible with unmet unspoken-expectations
Hm.
0213 : perhaps the only thing to be reset between work sessions is the haptic ratio in short-term memory
0947 : up
1036 : Gradually catching up on sleep.
Performance quite under par.
Focusing on increasing haptic ratios in short-term memory.
Avoiding fund management activity mostly.
Tons of active management of social portfolio. Looking for alpha.
Overall, looking for alpha.
1332 : Defragmenting the to-do list.
1535 : Cancelled run - right knee warning.
Watching the rain dust my windows.
More optimisations to do.
2151 : TIL, Sweet Onions are yellow. Yellow Onions are copper.
"
"
Sab2 week44/52 review
DEETS:
Wed Jan24 s2 m10 w44 d302 82.74%
0005 : It turns out that the IKEA jute mats are ideal for lifting weights at home.
Also, a friend enlightened me about the availability of foreign ETFs via local brokers.
0052 : Time to read about rich people stuff : trusts in Malaysia.
0142 : Daily MO review : not packing enough work into the first two quarters, so not sleepy enough in the fourth.
1048 : up
1334 : updated my FB, IG, and LI cover photos with ""artificial intelligence development has nothing to brag about until its mechanisms are more energy efficient than a human brain / play the long game""
1628 : Recalibrated sandpaper variables. Organised workspace. Time for lunch, before more scrubbing.
1755 : Table knives ( wiki )
1. Blunt end.
2. Sharp edge.
Malaysian restaurants featuring table knives often hit 1. and miss 2. Pathetic.
Thu Jan25 s2 m10 w44 d303 83.01%
1300 : So, Malaysians ... real
inflation hike of 3-8% in March 2024.
Are you readdyy
Fri Jan26 s2 m10 w44 d304 83.29%
1116 : Sleep improved. More tests required.
Sat Jan27 s2 m11 w44 d305 83.56%
0306 : Alright guys. How do we short the AI bubble?
Play with me.
0324 : I remain humbled by the humility of my friends, and I seek to be party to such humility.
Chances are however, that is beyond my meagre capability.
1915 : 2005-
2008 : pre-gradschool
2009-
2012 : tech studies
2013-
2023 : entrepreneurship
2024- : I need to do boring stuff, like brain global finance
2217 : on courtship : Well, empirically - I think we'll find that people prefer specifics like, ""do you like having your tits sucked?"" to vague questions like ""would you marry me?""
2252 : GS Exchanges is like the minimum level of intelligence I need to surround myself with in the next decade.
Sun Jan28 s2 m11 w44 d306 83.84%
0441 : :Having spent a decade in B2C, perhaps it is time to withdraw again to academia. It coheres with the arc, as planned.
1333 : The midpoint between 1958 and 2024 is somewhere around 1991, so yeah, my perception of mid-century modern is definitely on a pivot around my childhood at this point .. haha
1556 : I don't like success rates that are both high and consistent. That puts me at odds with people who like to have consistently successful teams.
I guess the challenge is to figure out what I can do in life without an overly consistent rate of success.
1929 : TIL shotcrete and fibre rebar.
1929 : TIL shotcrete and fibre rebar.
Mon Jan29 s2 m11 w44 d307 84.11%
0223 : TIL how to calibrate cabinet hinges. Unfortunately, work stopped at 0100, so it's going to be a few more hours before bed. I guess I didn't work out hard enough in the first part of the day.
1236 : up. dreams have been more consistent these few days. melatonin cycle is resetting. not sure if it is the exercise, or extra methylcobalamin.
1731 : TIL Dettol is a WHO Essential Medicine - 4.8% Chloroxylenol ... -_o
Tue Jan30 s2 m11 w44 d308 84.38%
0042 : Now that the visual component has been tidied somewhat - the noisiest component of my apartment is ... sound.
0200 : down
1041 : up
1116 : Good morning. Body slightly inflamed from yesterday's run - mild aches and bruises, systematic discomfort from histamine. I had spent some time between the run and bed, reviewing SOPs.
One of the main ops deficiencies these weeks has been an absence of dreaming. So, reflecting on SOPs, I checked my ""simulation ratio"" several times across the last day. It turns out that this activity allows me to consciously nudge myself towards and away from dream states. I studied this before when I lacked for dreams at some point while running the cafe - enforced day dreaming. I probably began my study of this mechanism in college when I made myself learn how to sleep without dreaming ( or at least, without remembering dreams ) - at that time, I thought dreams were a waste of energy. Sometimes they are, if you have too much activity going on already. But when activity in the imagination is low, dreams move the labour of mutation from the conscious to the subconscious control centres.
Meanwhile, I make food and eat it.
I am not sure how many people do this with their lives ... studying hard ideas, and sometimes encountering structures that they set aside twenty years to think about for better comprehension, before making further assertions about the model. I'm getting to twenty years now, in my contemplation of a model of how to quantify human experience.
I always wonder if I will use it only privately, or if it has any industrial applications later. I guess we will find out.
For now I still like to just sleep on it.
1223 : Every time some rando dies, and their networks celebrate their mediocrity as progress, I wonder.
Ah, it is a local thing. Everyone is biased about their proximities.
1347 : active management of the ""simulation ratio"" of conscious memory ... conscious controls can nudge subconscious controls to be more active ... subconsciously controlled simulations in conscious memory are, a key source of what people tend to refer to as ""inspiration"", or in endocrinal modelling, we may say the dopaminergic systems in action.
"
"
Sab2 week45/52 review
DEETS:
Wed Jan31 s2 m11 w45 d309 84.66%
1112 : Traffic jam or no jam, the rakyat must proceed to scrub his toilet tiles. Onward, nationbuilding.
1521 : Significant progress grinding down tiles. But not quite done yet.Enforced feeding time
1606 : I'd completely forgotten, or had never been aware of, the length of Jalan Gombak.
Thu Feb1 s2 m11 w45 d310 84.93%
0111 : I don't have much in the way of money or friends, but generally I spend some on introducing them to each other. It's entertaining.
0202 : Ultimately, all these moments will be lost, like the ice in my tea. To paraphrase Batty.
1307 : It seems to be a stable pattern in my life, to hang out with mediocre masses for a few years, and then fuck off to do something extraordinary by myself. I think I should identify with this.
1353 : It's a dapper sort of day. Spending unnecessary amounts of time studying the dressing technique for a wound, which would exceed any normal standard of care.
1645 : Done with basic resting for the day. Reviewing SOPs.
1802 : Spending the day giving myself negative feedback to reduce my proclination to do more stupid social stuff next week.
2100 : Today's reflection involved the concept of time dilation - in the phenomenological sense : when one's rate of processing data is fast, time appears to pass slower, and vice versa. Typically when I am bored, as a defense mechanism, I make myself slower in thought, in order to increase the apparent rate of time's passage. 4Q2024 was really boring, so I definitely switched off a lot - to the point that I had forgotten to manage this process and revert my speed of thought to par from time to time. Anyway - this is going into my SOPs for monitoring.
2116 : And now for two weeks of listening to chink stuff non-stop. If only there was a way to turn it off.
Fri Feb2 s2 m11 w45 d311 85.21%
0043 : down
1050 : up - so within quota for sleep - i have been messing this up a lot; weigh-in 51.8kg; shower; make food; end-cycle dreams improved, perhaps from lifting before bed, and feeding before lifting ... or it's just the sleep; making a cup of coffee while the rice and tofu is cooked
1146 : adding some KCL and less NaCL to instant coffee improves the balance.
1527 : A slow day \ week \ month \ quarter \ year \ decade
The only way to improvement is to rinse and repeat.
2042 : I forgot that the undertable fan is the best fan
Sat Feb3 s2 m11 w45 d312 85.48%
0434 : down
1305 : up
1821 : The previous agong was a master of public relations during his reign. Which makes one wonder, if all the goodwill he shored up was just to offset the one ridiculous pardon he granted upon his exit from the role.
Edit : now that they've hauled up Tony, I wonder if I'll get yanked too. But that is to be taken for granted, in a hostile environment. Whatever may come, comes. Whatever may go, goes.
2343 : Monthly clearing of emails ...
Sun Feb4 s2 m11 w45 d313 85.75%
1741 : Finally, cleared all appointments for the weekend.
Mon Feb5 s2 m11 w45 d314 86.03%
0120 : down
1040 : up
1136 : Adding a couple of patterns to the SOP.
- increasing somatic ratio in order to increase simulation ratio ( problem case : absence of sensory nervous data, absence of imaginery data ; solution case : use motor nervous system to stimulate central nervous system )
- enforced bed rest, until 10 hours after going to bed, when woken before hitting 10 hours in bed
1445 : I get nervous around hardware problems - because I don't know much about them. M&E&E is a lot stranger to me than software and people - people are meaty issues, but mostly software configured, so I get people much better than most people get people. I still don't know a lot about hardware. And I am slow in figuring it out by myself. #jerngvswork
1509 : Lunch, first large meal. Back to work.
1830 : Alright. Time to study the shit out of carbon brushes.
Tue Feb6 s2 m11 w45 d315 86.3%
0038 : 1983, I was born
1992, I identified as a scientist
2004, I understood phenomenology was quantifiable
2012, I became a distributed software developer
2020, I rolled up my first company
2023 ... I continue my studies ... and as I review how I got here, I add ""bad science"" to my LinkedIn headline's list of things I profess to handle
0126 : down
1015 : up.
1201 : Many functional relationships are sub-optimal. The optimisation is usually to reduce time allocated, to exclude low-value activities ... or to replace low-value activities with high-value activities. The former is easier. Some relationships will survive the transformation attempt, some will not.
Such is love. I am still waiting for various people who walked off, to bounce back some day. But I wouldn't spend too much time thinking about it.
1452 : Ah, it was the power cable after all. I knew something was funny when I couldn't get a lead on the trigger.
"
"
Sab2 week46/52 review
DEETS:
Wed Feb7 s2 m11 w46 d316 86.58%
0100 : down
1100 : up
1233 : It's a relatively chill day, with relatively few uncertainties, after 3.5 months of futzing around with built environment cosmetic variables.
1414 : Sabbatical 2 @ 86% today. Roughly :
1 month : social work : neighbours
1 month : clearing administrative backlog
1 month : computing study & fund management
2 months : physical and process conditioning
3 months : construction study
3 months : social work : friends and family
1714 : Forgot to space out my meals. Definitely need to refine that SOP doc.
2009 : Quite refreshing to get in a coupla hours of architectural work today.
Thu Feb8 s2 m11 w46 d317 86.85%
0200 : lots of grouting yesterday. tidied up SOPs. car wiper tank seems to have leaked on the ignition, so i need to fix that. tried my hand at writing a spot trading algorithm.
0320 : Overstimulated + underexerted kinda day.
Need to reverse wake-up protocols, to starve down my simulation ratio.
0350 : down
0730 : up
0817 : Catch and release. Then recatch. Good point.
1335 : Reduction of charity. Cut cut cut ...
Fri Feb9 s2 m11 w46 d318 87.12%
0345 : down
1150 : up
1325 : Suggestions for a CNY Eve night out in KL for one Malay, and one Chinese person who doesn't celebrate CNY?
Don't say jogging, 'cause one of us doesn't do that.
2314 : Lou sang is like, food for retards.
Sat Feb10 s2 m11 w46 d319 87.4%
0226 : down
1119 : up
1343 : linkedin headline adjusted to ""Governance Nerd : Handler for overblown (egos|ambitions), irrational (quantities|allocations), bad (science|arguments), badly written (legislation|code), and poor (taste|judgment)""
1417 : Next pivot : need to chop down food-prep times again.
Sun Feb11 s2 m11 w46 d320 87.67%
0040 : Oh, so that's why the Rand and Krone are correlated.
2119 : Mental conditioning is improving. Today, between nutrition tweaks, a week of enforced sleep, and rhythmic study, I managed to remember how to intentionally forget things. Or rather, I remembered that I was supposed to remember how to intentionally forget things, on a minute to minute basis.
Mon Feb12 s2 m11 w46 d321 87.95%
0105 : I worked on several failed projects in 2023.
Among these, what made me the saddest was not the individually poor and confused friends, the months spent on manual labour, or the politically quirky private companies.
What made me saddest was the initialisation of my apartment building's local government Management Corporation. The reason being that I had a chance to protect from decay a large monetary asset co-owned by a few hundred people, but I simply declined to volunteer further effort. By doing so, I allowed weak leaders to protect their reputations, large corporations to profit, junior staff to lose their jobs, and a village to bumble into further decrepitude.
Ah, such is life. On with it.
0215 : down
1024 : up
1740 : finally done with grouting, for the most part, next to clean up the old flat's balcony bird shit
1750 : What do you think I should do?
I'm almost half-way through a 2-year study break. Musing over options for 2025 ...
- stay in Malaysia, get a job job
- stay in Malaysia, get into non-startup businesses
- stay in Malaysia, run another startup
- stay in Malaysia, start the 4-year process to get a ( Real Estate ) Valuer's license in Malaysia ( comes with Agent, and Management licenses )
- stay in Malaysia, find something worth going to prison for
- stay in Malaysia, get into politics
- move to Singapore, find a job job
- move somewhere else
- apply for self-termination in Switzerland
1830 : regarding a post asking why Kampung Baru, being over 100-years-old, has not yet become a UNESCO heritage site Has Malayness become a cult?
The number of comments saying ""sebab Melayu"", are indicative of a phenomenon that cultural identity has in fact become a cult. See discourse elsewhere on ""evangelism is designed more to keep the evangelist in the cult, not to attract non-cultists to join the cult.""
2047 : Luxurious day : decent weather and fitness level - clean clothes, and a 4km walk to get groceries.
Tue Feb13 s2 m11 w46 d322 88.22%
0040 : down
1035 : up
"
"
Sab2 week47/52 review
DEETS:
Wed Feb14 s2 m11 w47 d323 88.49%
0119 : I worry about my friends a lot. Maybe I should worry about myself more.
0202 : 1. Pathologically happy people are less dangerous than pathologically sad people.
2. But pathology is defined by loss of function.
3. If there is such a thing as pathologically productive, this triplet probably skews that way.
0234 : down
0630 : up
1400 : A tiresome morning. Done with social charity for a bit. Got paid with lunch. Hehe. Nap time
1504 : I should spend less time worrying about angry people.
There is abundance of angry people in the world, with an unlimited demand for solutions, but without much compensation for the work.
I should worry more about my own work.
1701 : Generally, informal conversations can be playful and open to interpretation. After the cost of disagreements get higher, it is usually fairly straightforward to upgrade the protocol to simple yes-or-no questions, and to document answers rigorously for further analysis.
People who prefer high-context cultures of course hate this.
Whereas, people who prefer low-context cultures would never permit obligations to be determined by guesswork.
So the world turns, on different cultural axes.
2023 : Clocking a decent day.
- all the people I helped today are thankful
- some of the people I didn't help today are resentful, but at no cost to me
- most of the troublemakers in my life have withdrawn (for now)
- I spent quality time with people who don't make a lot of time for me
- my main distraction is almost terminated : cleaning up an old flat
- the market is up
I anticipate a bit of peace and quiet over the resting period.
Then I expect things to get worse, again.
2259 : self intro in a quant group.Hi. I graduated in 2005, and looked for jobs in KL. Learnt what a quant was, and carried the title for a few months in 2007. There was nothing interesting going on, so I effed off to study programming in local startups.
Over the years got into Erlang, Haskell, JavaScript, etc. but techwise currently interested in building a FOSS FaaS, before going downstream. Typical pedantic annoyance with depending on external libraries.
Finance-wise, practiced a lot of accounting while running a 24-7 wifi cafe for five-years. Minimal familiarity with crypto, spot trading occassionally but mostly hodling. Only bought in after FTX went down for strategic reasons.
Random fact : figured out how to quantify human experience around 2003 and never took life very seriously after.
Nice to meet you.
2359 : It seems unlikely for example, that a Malaysian could do an MBA in Singapore, and then be expected to fail to secure a job there. But i suppose it is common. I am just curious about whether it is more likely or less likely to happen. 51\49 odds, which way? Lol
Thu Feb15 s2 m11 w47 d324 88.77%
0058 : down
1043 : up
1148 : Woke up. Had a coffee. Checked my outstanding concerns. Not a lot of shit from friends today. I have to go do construction cleanup later. A lot of thought can be put into markets, but the construction is still distracting. So I will have to focus on that.
1329 : Parents who are part of their childrens' dreams,
have failed as parents.
Fri Feb16 s2 m11 w47 d325 89.04%
0040 : Well, that's what you get for inserting religion at the base of national culture ... now our sportpeople can attribute off-seasons to spiritual forces.
You deserve it, Malaysia.
1943 : I think, i can finish the flat cleanup saga by tomorrow .. 🙃
Sat Feb17 s2 m11 w47 d326 89.32%
0200 : moved shelving around ; everything will be messy for a while
0218 : down
0812 : up
2357 : a productive work day. the flat is almost ready for photography
Sun Feb18 s2 m11 w47 d327 89.59%
0022 : Hah. So around 2007, when I worked in investment management as a ""quant"", Mark Gorton ( Limewire, Tower Research Capital, Lime Scooters ) was on the cover of Bloomberg magazine, I think, and the interview inside mentioned ( oh, I found the article ) sitting at a desk writing algorithms. Well that certainly came to mind the other day, when i was iterating over a grid-trading FSM on the MRT, written in Whatsapp, hahaha.
0100 : down
1155 : up
1222 : Enforced waking and feeding.
2117 : Massive reshuffle of home storage.
Mon Feb19 s2 m11 w47 d328 89.86%
1500 : Managing P&Ls for relationships.
- Anxiety is an expense, to both counterparties.
- Avoidance is risk aversion, limiting upsides for a party, but generally incurring no expense to other parties.
So,
- Avoid anxious counterparties.
- Avoid anxiety in oneself, especially when it is communicated to counterparties.
- Moderate avoidance in oneself, to determine what level of upside is affordable, corresponding to an affordable level of anxiety.
- Moderate pursuit of avoidant counterparties, based on expected aggregate return.
1753 : I embraced an indifferent middle age when I was 21. - on Plath's tiradecon uselessness
2149 : Enforced nap to wipe memory.
2212 : Social psychical conditioning :
1. You cannot possibly be useful to someone else, all the time.
2. Ergo, your usefulness to others is an unreliable basis for personal identity.
3. You can always be useful to yourself.
4. Self-esteem is the only reliable basis for personal identity - literally assigning value to oneself, for its own sake.
5. Some people lose track of, or never learn, how (3,4) work - this is where coaches\therapists\friends can help.
Further reading : maybe Kierkegaard.
(Caveat : I haven't read a lot of K, but he's known to have been into this shizzle.)
Tue Feb20 s2 m11 w47 d329 90.14%
0015 : sabbatical 2, day 329, 90% of year 1 ... now in a state of relative order, today should be progressive. even if friends are mad at me for calling them idiots.
0020 : down
1020 : up
1709 : Today feels like my first proper vacation day since September. iterated on LLP wind-up, flat sale.
"
"
Sab2 week48/52 review
DEETS:
Wed Feb21 s2 m11 w48 d330 90.41%
Thu Feb22 s2 m11 w48 d331 90.68%
0014 : Did a bunch of chores. Did a bit of charity. Did a spot of business development. Tired, underslept. Continuing tomorrow.
0942 : up
1235 : 2-year timeframe : Looking for co-founders to R&D the business case for a ""home appliances \ fitting \ tools"" brand which is differentiated by ... open-source technical diagrams, 100% repairability, spare-part supply. Buy once, fix and reuse forever. ESG & Islamic financing oriented.
1544 : Shut down my first business bank account after nine years. Slow but steady.
One thing never changes : one may be surrounded by all sorts of fools, but one cannot hope for much better. People admire folly. Have at them.
1711 : I don't enjoy privacy enough to find private parties amusing, maybe. Private people tend to be timid - I hate timid people. People who need to keep their laundry private are on a ladder I hope never to descend to again. Well, opportunity ebbs, and flows.
2224 : Burn more money, reduce more mess.
Fri Feb23 s2 m11 w48 d332 90.96%
0352 : down
1030 : up
1054 : Enforced waking. Back to work.
1346 : Sorted a mess of plastic bags, by size.
Sat Feb24 s2 m11 w48 d333 91.23%
0709 : A few months ago, I was having breakfast with a director of private equity firm, as we coached a mutual friend on bootstraping his legal-ML idea. It came up that my first raise was about $100k, and that I had used it to launch a cafe, which subsequently ran for about five years before rolling up. I was asked, why did I pick that vehicle? Well, I already knew how to sell, run teams, read law, count beans, and code ... but I didn't have a ton of operations experience. What better place to drown in ops than a 24-hour restaurant? It was a half-decade in built environment R&D ... and built envs aren't going away in my lifetime. It'll be a while before we're uploaded to the Matrix without bodies.
on jensen huang ""don't learn to code"".
1939 : Impressed by the baking soda + superglue + redrill method for dealing with a stripped screw socket in thermoplastic medium.
2003 : Miscellaneous steel fittings, screws, bolts, and odds, sorted. Thermoplastic threaded hole failure fixed.
Taking a breather before closing the books on the old LLP.
Oh yes, I haven't had enough protein today - so another shot, it is.
Sun Feb25 s2 m11 w48 d334 91.51%
1040 : up
2049 : Super messy, expensive, weekend. But some stuff got cleared, so that's a plus.
Mon Feb26 s2 m12 w48 d335 91.78%
1200 : up
1421 : Perhaps for my third vicennium, I should strategically diversify away from Victorian values.
2315 : TIL I can just dump more NaOH into household bleach, and it should only make it more effective.
Tue Feb27 s2 m12 w48 d336 92.05%
0320 : down
0830 : up
1005 : goomorninggg. looks like a day of washing dishes. with reduced distractions, maybe it's time to start dating again.
every schmuck is someone's schtick. it's generally disheartening to be reminded of how so many people enjoy poorly designed things. but what the hell, reminders are good for sanity
"
"
Sab2 week49/52 review
DEETS:
Wed Feb28 s2 m12 w49 d337 92.33%
Thu Feb29 s2 m12 w49 d338 92.6%
0244 : Long, dreary, day. Mostly social.
0846 : up
1033 : Americans visiting Malaysia : in shock
Me : not used to casual racism, are we?
Americans visiting Malaysia : oh we are, but
Me : ah yes, constitutional racism ...
1038 : Boxing up unchipped wares and moving chipped wares out for daily use.
1205 : Finally sorted and reboxed stoneware from the 2020 cafe shutdown. On to other remaining messes ...
1256 : Time to circle back and recap my 2021 to-do list which I think is only just getting cleared right now in 2024.
1443 : Thu Feb29 s2 m12 w49 d338 92.6%
Perhaps time for a vacation - without people who need to spend money to be happy.
1630 : Sometimes $200 on the ground is just a distraction, and if it's across the street, it's just not worth the context switch.
1938 : Off to networking. Slow day. Various distractions. Mostly related to money and people.
Fri Mar1 s2 m12 w49 d339 92.88%
0155 : Prepped and sent my first invoice for business work in 2.5 years, I think
0226 : Sabbatical 2, month 12. March is for rest and recuperation from 11 months of chores. Still. Many chores to do, but mostly deskbound.
0258 : Best case energy gain : 75% = LNG/TNB-1 @ falsely assuming equal utilisation efficiency in heating with a resistance heating mechanism, not a heat pump
LNG : 55 MJ/kg / ( 26.6 MYR/tank / 14 kg/tank ) = 28.9 MJ/MYR @ largest domestic tank size
TNB : 3.6 MJ/kWh / 0.218 MYR/kWh = 16.5 MJ/MYR @ lowest domestic tariff rate
0430 : Anthropology and philanthropy are hard. But useful.
0430 : down, 6 hours late
1250 : up
2330 : 1 March, Day 339
Down, six hours late.
Up, shortly eight hours later - two short.
Snek.
Onboarding call from client, two hours after waking - should be short - project is tiny.
Meal.
Four aprons disposed via public donation.
Daily operational protocol docs updated.
More food. Clearing rubbish left in my fridge by others.
Haircut - a week overdue.
Tea - peppermint only.
Today feels slow - but the sense of fatigue is false - it is a matter of repairing memory banks which have been under a lot of stress over the past year.
Many tens of days have been given to people who have not indicated that they can give back to me time of equal value to my wallet, or to my learnings. It's a good time to reflect on what must next be done.
2336 : down
Sat Mar2 s2 m12 w49 d340 93.15%
0300 : down
1124 : up
1320 : Spent a few days rinsing, and rerinsing an old mop head ... what appears to be grey dead algae ( probably not cementitious dust? ) does not rinse out all at once, but does so slowly, requiring a great many rinses. IPA appears to speed up the rinsing. The rinse water is turbid. So now I am curious about flocculants.
Aluminium Sulphate / commonly used as drinking water and swimming pool flocculant.
Can anyone sell me 50g of this?
The available quantities of 1kg online are far too large for casual use.
Sun Mar3 s2 m12 w49 d341 93.42%
0246 : Hm. Recap, sabbatical 2, year 1, months 1-11.
Done :
✅ Clear rear flat
✅ Clear forward flat
✅ Clear excess flat
✅ Wind-up LLP
✅ Examine forward flat management corporation
✅ Examine excess flat management corporation
✅ Unify personal operation docs
✅ Tidy personal historical docs
✅ Calibrate physical conditioning ( hypertrophy and food )
✅ Study home economics
✅ Develop ongoing relationships
✅ Update running SOPs
Undone :
❌ Examine rear flat management corporation
❌ Liquidate excess machinery
❌ Study software
❌ Study electronics
❌ Study asset allocation
❌ Collect personal debt
❌ Expand business and social networks
❌ Update digital archive
❌ Update cycling SOPs
0500 : down
0900 : up
0934 : Poor Things is quite clumsily acted and shot, at some points, like a highschool play, or perhaps it is intentionally slapschtick. I read Lanark, on the recommendation of a friend at 17, and did not quite ""get it"". I guess I can see the similarities.
1630 : Hypothesis: vasomotor rhinitis is from overstimulation of the parasympathetic nervous system
Mon Mar4 s2 m12 w49 d342 93.7%
0146 : Long, long weekend. Too much money spent. Good to get projects closed. On to more focused issues.
0245 : down
1234 : Sick. And tired. But glad to be moving on, and back to work. Financial rations, are the order of the month.
1522 : answering questions in a devops forum. Talking about devOps
without talking about psychOps
is bullshit.
1750 : Brief swim. Netted garbage in the pool. Soda while reporting incident. Back home for a coffee, next, and more desking.
Tue Mar5 s2 m12 w49 d343 93.97%
0248 : Two glass boxes are available for rent in my condo.
Should I open another cafe?
OMFG
0407 : down. still sniffly
1106 : up
2106 : Another hundred ringgit day. Most of it driving. Eco grandeur. Interesting township. American sized. Also checked out the Ministry of Housing in Putrajaya and stopped to network with a mechanical engineer at Gamuda Kemuning.
"
"
Sab2 week50/52 review
DEETS:
Wed Mar6 s2 m12 w50 d344 94.25%
0105 : My reflection for the day is, that my appreciation of local concerns is reflected by others I meet, and my ability to address local concerns is only as good as theirs. Whereas few whom I meet locally share my global concerns. This basically encourages me to decrease my efforts on local concerns, which I have had a dedicated focus on during my commercial decade from 2013-2023. So I am encouraged to address global concerns with more focus.
Also it turns out that the employment pass in Singapore can be applied for by anyone paid more than 5-6000 SGD/month, which is not a huge number. Good to know. Subject to other terms and conditions.
0331 : From conversations with friends and myself :
- Jerng takes everyone for granted (Jerng agrees)
- Jerng's bosses are stupid (Jerng disagrees on the basis that everyone is only stupid sometimes)
- Jerng's overpaid (Jerng has not been paid in 11 months, except for a RM100 emergency tech support call, or in kind as an exchange of personal services)
- I also concluded that I need to redact a lot more trigger topics from certain friends; some people get antsy when they hear about other people's stories; some people feel antsy about money ... I also have to stop letting some friends pay for stuff as it seems to come back as an issue; some people get antsy about negative feedback ... ok, no negative feedback for that one; etc.
- I just wired back RM500 to some dude who asked me to provide an output value, but could not produce sufficient input values
- generally, it was a good day
- I am still sick
- I think I can get around to doing taxes tomorrow
- I am looking forward to getting back to studies \ perpetually postponed
0410 : down
1304 : What does the new day bring? A stuffy head. More paperwork and housekeeping. Some opportunities.
Thu Mar7 s2 m12 w50 d345 94.52%
0220 : Yesterday was not super productive. Too much social work. I need to heal fast from this week's infection, and last year's distractions.
0237 : A nice person asked if i needed someone to talk to because I posted about self-termination. I had to explain that I'm rather controversially pro-suicide, so I condescend by avoiding the making of speeches about what I think others should or should not do, rather I only talk about myself, to minimise my influence, in a regulatory environment which is opposed to ro such ideals.
Upon further prodding, it turned out that they had other issues ... so in turn, I offered assistance. #jerngvswork
0300 : down
1257 : up
1310 : What?! A lathe mill combo is under $2500 including shipping ...
1337 : Our friend : Best case 71.5k by 10pm. Poor cases 64k, 61k, 58k.
Fri Mar8 s2 m12 w50 d346 94.79%
0141 : Next career calibration :
- build up current assets to $550k, only then move $50k into my second high-CAPEX business, then work on it for 1-2 years
- not going to be soon, as my current AUM is under $100k; will probably take a few years unless I accidentally buy a weird asset that spikes
- I don't buy lottery tickets
- no change to long-term limit of $10 MM AUM
2015 : 19 years after college ... Yay, I finally got time to study art history. Long overdue.
Sat Mar9 s2 m12 w50 d347 95.07%
2026 : Figured out how to run my car AC for long periods while parked - pop the hood. But, maybe an additional fan blowing air down would help.
Sun Mar10 s2 m12 w50 d348 95.34%
0014 : breaking news : my rice has MANY weevils. they are in the process of being frozen. I will eat the rice gradually including frozen weevils later.
0109 : The other day I decided to stop doing all freelance work ( except art work ), effectively getting rid of every potential distraction in the business space which wasn't worth an employment contract.
One of my better friends : I'm waiting for the day you get rid of me
Me: i mean if you're sufficiently dumb, i'll just call it a day - not yet lol
0856 : Spent the evening entertaining gripes from one dumbass, and killing the next two hours waiting for what's anticipated to be another dumbass neighbourhood association planning meeting.
It's not easy to get fools out of your way, sometimes they remain useful.
1507 : Women who can't organise their feelings, neighbours who want improbable things from the government, and pigeons shitting outside my balcony. Ah, a poorly endured weekend, surrounded by questionable intellects. I must work harder to overcome these difficulties.
1914 : One less thing to worry about today ... there will be more things tomorrow. Keep it coming ...
1937 : A common phenomenon, it seems ... people who are not measured in their actions, are different from people who are. As Klein said, perhaps,
""First they ignore you. Then they ridicule you. And then they attack you and want to burn you. And then they build monuments to you.""
Or not.
2111 : A chill day, in a chill year. Put on an extra shirt and watch. Going for a drive to see my old neighbourhood on the hill.
2228 : Half the startup game is, figuring out where the dumb-money VCs are jumping on a dead-end trend, offering to take their money, then doing something else with it which is more sustainable. Varying risk appetites apply - you could go for something more, or less obvious.
Mon Mar11 s2 m12 w50 d349 95.62%
0153 : Even if everything goes to hell tomorrow, it has been an exceptionally relaxing evening. Hope to close off the next task by lunch time.
0900 : up
1330 : Going to KL Lake Club for tea. Anyone nearby wanna ngopi? I haven't been in 25-ish years.
2037 : Trivial day. Helped bestie prepare for scholarship interviews, caught up with a local community organiser, bought some hardware materials, and iterated on the property sale.
2359 : more counselling of friends ; left my phone on a car and had to get a new one
Tue Mar12 s2 m12 w50 d350 95.89%
0228 : Philanthropy is a sordid enterprise. But if you don't make friends with fools, you may not have anyone to make friends with. On with it ...Philanthropy is a sordid enterprise. But if you don't make friends with fools, you may not have anyone to make friends with. On with it ...
gradually clearing chores, and putting out fires. I figure it's at least two days till I can start proper studying, though it may be a week.
0320 : down
1224 : up
1452 : Time for some kerosene cleaning
1655 : Maybe I can get all my scanning done today. We shall see what else pops up.
1721 : day 350 95.89% of year 1. Finally, this is what it feels like to be on holiday.
2106 : I didn't anticipate spending that many days of my 41st year managing conversations of the variety : why you friend them / why you no friend me / I no friend you anymore / you no friend lah you.
"
"
Sab2 week51/52 review
DEETS:
Wed Mar13 s2 m12 w51 d351 96.16%
1055 : up
Thu Mar14 s2 m12 w51 d352 96.44%
0412 : down
1116 : up
1929 : Seriously considering a subscription to Bloomberg content ( not data ). Just to keep up with the talky-talk.
1954 : Next work toy : water quality testing gear. Will try to keep it under $250
Fri Mar15 s2 m12 w51 d353 96.71%
0234 : Preparing to re-plumb the kitchen ...
0405 : down
0545 : up
0707 : Asset allocation.
The struggle is real.
0733 : Off to feed. One painting project down, one more to go.
2359 : two hours sleep, two hours nap, painting done, relationship managed
Sat Mar16 s2 m12 w51 d354 96.99%
0531 : four hours slept. beginning of study on adenosine metabolism and sleep. time for coffee.
1857 : The next hour ( or 15 minutes of it ) will be very, very hard.
2359 : Friday and Saturday were jointly executed on about 10 hours of sleep, half my usual target.
Sun Mar17 s2 m12 w51 d355 97.26%
1516 : - Social chores done for the day.
- A little test with sodium dithionite, failed.
- Cleaning adhesives off some tiles, succeeded.
- The dragon dance musicians are busy down there ... henceforth I am going to call it the crunk dragon
1740 : None of this is interesting ...
I look through social media, the commercial news, the people I am seeing, my neighbours, my countryfolk, the world as it appears.
That is why I tend to find motivation only from myself.
1954 : Enjoying the temporary absence of trauma from a few years of accumulated mess.
2238 : The flat is finally neat enough to support a conversion to library mode - time to drape documents everywhere.
2253 : Sebarang perasaan manusia adalah penghinaan atas kewarasannya.
Mon Mar18 s2 m12 w51 d356 97.53%
1034 : up
1130 : Weekend shenanigans : spent a day or so tracking XBT's drop to my target of 65k USD, and since it's still twelve days till EOM, looking for it to drop to 64k or 62k next, before closing above 69k at EOM. So much drama. But there's a time for everything in life.
Watchin the game!
1401 : Paperwork. Almost the last of it ...
2013 : 48 hour opportunity cost : $7400
I need to stop making car-sized mistakes so that I can afford more house-sized mistakes.
Tue Mar19 s2 m12 w51 d357 97.81%
0141 : Friend : Why do you like X, they are so dumb.
Me : Well there are different types of dumb. If I can tolerate one type of dumb, I can tolerate other types of dumb too.
Well, I'm afraid I don't have the mental capacity to do a tabular comparison of what I like about each of my friends. I've been under a tremendous amount of stress for the last twelve months just trying to help people feel better when they explode. I just want to enjoy the company of my friends when they are not in explosive moods. It is slightly beyond me at this point, given my limited resources ... to engage in a full blown consulting proposal for why my friends should be my friends. That's why it's generally easier to just leave the door open, and to change only what people can get access to on my side of the door.
0235 : One of my dear friends just said they didn't know I was financially distressed. Apparently, it hadn't occurred to them that someone who said they were stressed out about work over the past year, was also stressed out about money. Money is just a proxy for time. If I'm spending time on X, I'm spending money.
It was a fine day - I'd actually made a $7500 mistake at work over the last 24-hours, and after work I was out at their place patching a hole in their wall with cement, and teaching them how to fix a leaky bidet, because (they said) they wanted to save money instead of hiring professionals. Now I didn't ask for a fee, but I was offered a bowl of noodles, tea, some water, and $11 - I said thanks, I was grateful. I also said I had to stop work, and they'd have to hire a professional to finish the job, if they were not in an emotionally urgent state about the work I also said I had to stop work, and they'd have to hire a professional to finish the job, if they were not in an emotionally urgent state about the work - because I had a rough day at work, and needed more time to focus on my own shit.
Later on in chat, we were discussing friendships and protocols for social interaction, while also discussing protocols for how to argue about the same. That's when they observed, it was a ""vulnerable"" conversation ... which I found humorous, because I'd been saying the same thing all year, about being stressed, and in the past they had only reacted by calling me a liar. Well, I said, ""how about I take away your salary, then ask you to spend more time on me, then complain that its not enough, for a year?""
People are weird. But if you don't accept weird people, there probably won't be many people left on earth. Haha.
0923 : I had to redact a recent story from Facebook, because it offended someone. But it will remain on my blog in general. We can apply band-aids to help others feel better, but we should not shy away from identifying fundamental concerns. This is true, even if we disagree on what the fundamental concerns are. Everyone is responsible for clearly stating their point of view, without fear or favour. The views will not match, and it remains for the world to judge each individual view.
But what of events without witnesses, between two folks? These may deviate in perspective, for eternity.
0946 : My friendships are really affecting my work in a bad way.
I am wondering if I should go away from everyone for a while. Not yet.
Also, a reminder to write a will. LOL
Strategic planning is required, a bit more, under duress
1041 : SPA review day ...
1232 : Very dramatic week. I ran out of groceries. (Also, please do not send random food gifts. I like to do my own shopping.) So I am off to spend money on a restaurant downstairs, as I want to get back to work ASAP. Groceries will happen soon.
1516 : ( re: 11:30am previous day's view the XBT could drop to 62k on weak support ) Bonk. Happening as we speak. And I managed to lose money on it, because I let my personal life get in the way of my commercial interests. FML. Fix it slowly.
1816 : Until one day when Malaysians no longer use threats of violence upon each other - Malaysia will never be a developed nation.
1859 : Enforced feeding. Then more scanning ...
"
"
Sab2 week52/52 review
DEETS:
Wed Mar20 s2 m12 w52 d358 98.08%
1020 : up213:down
1221 : The other day, someone asked when I lost my virginity. I said it was around the age of 24. This may seem early for conservative people, but it is quite late for societies where 14-year-olds are sexually active. In my case, I was quite busy with career priorities, and only bothered to date sexually after I had already quit three jobs and was on a break for ""gradschool"" in 2007.
There were physically close friends, and one official girlfriend before that, but nothing too intimate. I was also always interested in clever women, but I wasn't very good at finding them, nor was I making very much effort to shop for them. Efforts nowadays are better multiplied by online social apps, where we can shop through hundreds of profiles a day, so I guess I was right to wait.
I still find it challenging to find smart women. I mean smart in a trans-atlantic sense, being rational both inside and out. Sometimes it feels like one runs a halfway house for folks who don't want professional therapy - I'm sure you've heard that one before.
Also I am a low-cost living nerd. And an asshole.
Ah well, that is the game. We shop till we drop. Haha
1417 : These are not common, of late. Another relaxing day. Even losing money is stress-free, without more explosive issues looming around the corner.
Until the next emergency ...
1455 : Drew the outdoor and internal zoning curtains. Power consumption is up, with the heat. Let's see how low it can go.
1635 : A day with some freedom to do new things. I should get groceries, then return to my history of computing. Wait, oh no, I think I have to do digital archival backup first. Argh.
1855 : Amazing feeling to be on vaca after 18 years in the workforce, and 1 year of housekeeping. Peak lifetime organisation. Until messes start to reappear.
Walked to the mall, there's a Uniqlo and Daiso. Walked home with groceries. Very proper-like.
1935 : It just occurred to me that the IDEAS frontage in KL belongs to a hotel, not the think tank.
Thu Mar21 s2 m12 w52 d359 98.36%
0520 : lost a hard drive today. loong day
0800 : long ass night. mundane. time for bed.
1130 : up
1421 : The day begins with rice. I need to adjust my calculator, having switched temporarily from tofu to soy isolate.
1652 : Breakfast bolus, 543 Cal. Later, protein.
Walked in drizzles to the hardware store for soundproofing test materials.
Jogged home.
1820 : Good day for rest, after a lack of sleep. It is good to have clear workspaces and an absence of people clamouring for affirmation, for once in a few years.
1920 : Time to mall. Today I shall put on my shoes and watch, and do a proper tour of Sunway Putra Mall. I haven't really had the free time to study local merchandise and people for a couple of years.
2337 : Already my body feels as if there are dangers I should heed - wear and tear. Every day is a good day to die. That is the posted hung on my front door, which greets my neighbours as they walk past my home.
That being said, if I am extraordinarily lucky, I am at 33% of max temporary presence, and I still don't know where the remaining 66% is going.
But that is the nature of life, for those who dare to think about it.
Fri Mar22 s2 m12 w52 d360 98.63%
0219 : down
1309 : up
Sat Mar23 s2 m12 w52 d361 98.9%
0155 : Many competing opportunities for the next three weeks. Gotta reel it in and take up some conservative positions.
0405 : Good to know, that whenever I need a desktop with over 3000 CPUMarks, it's now under 200 MYR. But I don't think I need one yet.
1000 : Anyone want to drive up the East Coast of Malaysia, over a coupla days?
KL, Kuantan, Kuala Terengganu, Kota Bharu, Perlis, WCE, KL?
1447 : Update : Going on a road trip. I always say, I travel only for business of women. Today would be market research - haven't done the loop yet, since returning in Malaysia in 2005.
Vehicle : WGG 4640
Risk Management : Last will and testament, in the unlikely event of my demise, please leave my estate to my father and sisters. (That's triple failover, right?) I believe my belongings are in an orderly condition. There is only the flats, Luno, Stashaway, EPF, and one savings account, I think.
Off I go. First stop, Kuantan, overnight at Kuala Terengganu.
2100 : Turns out Kuantan is now cuter than KL, Penang, and Ipoh in terms of city planning and preservation results. The latter have all gone to shit for traffic and mess.
Sun Mar24 s2 m12 w52 d362 99.18%
0107 : Kuala Terengganu looks messy at night. Let's see in the morning.
0313 : Driving in the boonies - Google Maps will send you off busy main roads directly into uninhabited, unlit, killboxes ... if you mind, you should follow the traffic, not the map. I followed the map down route 3486 in pitch darkness. Omg
0335 : Sunday : getting to Kota Bharu seems like the easy part.
From KB down route 4 to either Gerik, or further on just looks like six hours of pain.
Worry about it after KB, I guess.
0340 : down
1100 : I may need to start treating my hands with the [ same care that I started to treat my ears to, once I noticed performance degradations in college ]. Perhaps it is an injury from massaging, or from something else. I seem to have a nodule or swelling of some sort on one lateral band at my middle proximal interphalangeal. Bugger that
1902 : route 4 has really bad reviews for surface quality. nights said to be dense with lorries. can't do much sightseeing. so gonna stay the night at KB, then head off to Gerik in the morning of day3
2014 : Time to feed.
And to reflect on unnecessary risks.
And mortality, and the absence of intrinsic value of human life.
Mon Mar25 s2 m12 w52 d363 99.45%
0104 : caught up with an old hire who lives about here.
0132 : I am happy to be working on interesting risks, without being bogged down by other people.
It is quite a privilege for me, but the privilege granted to others came with a condition to keep up and they failed.
I zoom out for a bit, and think of all the things that my peers value - it is sad that they care about the feelings of other people, so highly.
I will continue to work against this trend.
Everyone shall take their place in the matrix of forces that shape the world.
As always, it is a privilege to engage. Knives chipping and shattering whatnot.
Tue Mar26 s2 m12 w52 d364 99.73%
1134 : laws about hurt feelings. Here is the problem with laws in Malaysia. The legal system encourages emotional fragility. So the culture is stuck.
1145 : time for a nap
1957 : Back to work.
Enforced rest, feeding, and cleaning.
2107 : I really wonder when Malaysians will kill me.
Forty years of living here, and there is no improvement in the culture of people being hurt by words.
Perhaps it is just a matter of time. I live here because I am lazy - I will probably die here because I am lazy.
2134 : My MOE : first-graders will be introduced to concepts in AI
My mathematics teachers : ...
My physics teachers : ...
My biochemistry teachers : ...
My psychology teachers : ...
My cognitive sciences teachers : ...
Sab2 week53/52 review
DEETS:
Wed Mar27 s2 m12 w52 d365 100%
0148 : 1Q2024 is turning out to be quite ok.
2Q-4Q2023 involved a lot of housekeeping to clean up 2013-2022, while introducing some uncommon social operations into the mix. While the social work has been interesting, it hasn't shown much promise in terms of long-term capital development. So it's good to see those liabilities reducing over time.
As slow as things are, I'm happy to have temporary relief from even slower people that require babysitting. But of course, I expect to have to do more babysitting later - so far I have not decided to ban myself from babysitting, I guess. If I did, perhaps I would be more developed financially.
In general, I find that emotional fragility is a liability. If I find it in myself or others, I structurally disintegrate its precursors and reduce entropy as quickly as I can. If a subject is opposed to this process, I simply remove the subject from my environment, post haste.
We don't all agree on what is valuable about humans, but society exists to provide us with a protocol to engage with each other despite these disagreements.
0248 : down
0916 : up.Attack the day
0958 :
0958 : I suppose if after dealing with a counterparty for three years you still have to handle them with kid gloves, it may be time to stop-loss on handling costs.
Likewise, if you don't like someone after three years, it probably means you just don't like them.
lol
1131 : Iterated on asset management. My one-year journal spreadsheet runs out of pre-headers today, so I will have to build out year-two's headers tomorrow.
1208 : First meal of the day. Rice in the boiler. Taking it an hour at a time.
1318 : Post-carb metabolism stabilised, while doing some soundproofing forensics. Time to drop protein.
1409 : Resorting archives 199x-2012 ... will share more funny pictures later.
Thu 2024Mar28, Sabbatical2 @1.003years ( year2; month13; week53; day366 )
0001 : Sharing some data collected, and roadtrip pix. Sh1t box fans, only thx.
- 1997 850cc auto with the rear seats removed
- under RM 200 in RON95
- stable cruising at 90 kmph, or about 2/3 of a Honda City I recently tested
- temperature reading maintained at 85-97C mostly
- heatwave up north made it impossible to keep the AC on all the time
- downhill sections of Route 4 can get the engine down to 63C
- Lake Temenggor is really pretty; but the rooms are too expensive
- Route 4 is in ok condition, maybe since the Feds allocated 40 million bucks to service it
- magic hours are 7am+3hours, and 7pm-3hours
- dry season is safer for driving than wet season, though it is less comfortable
0039 : Still haven't unified my outsourced memory from 2001 ... LOL
0253 : the past day was moderately productive. home improvement and storage organisation, soundproofing, sorting digital archives, purchase of threads for mending
0946 : up. off to fix phone
1318 : Remedial chores almost complete. Repair and recuperation. Before further progress.
2100 : So I dumped everything into a data lake between 2001 and 2023, with partial clustering and indexing along the way ... holy crap, the technical debt ... lol. Now trying to warehouse it properly in 2024 ...
Fri 2024Mar29, Sabbatical2 @1.005years ( year2; month13; week53; day367 )
0141 : As I chat with my friends in the present, and review the past 20 years of my life, I find it is still a great privilege, to be held in moderate esteem, by a society composed of individuals whom I think of as such lowly beings.
0157 : Gradually as the distractions that life has presented are put away, it seems time to reoptimise my diet, sleep, and other things, for speed of thought.
0350 : down
0417 : Maybe I should temporarily avoid enterprise IT concerns because the people involved therein are too emotional \ excitement driven.
For the same reason I don't want to put up with people who depend on emotional engagement to drive their relationships.
0946 : up
1719 : Temperature check :
Daily happiness : green, as usual, for two decades
Physical and digital housekeeping : green, better than ever
Physical conditioning: yellow, up only moderately
STEM R&D : yellow, current focus
Social life : yellow, last year's focus
Social impact : yellow, last decade's focus
Business network : red
Public relations: red
Maybe a time will come when I focus on the last two, but not yet.
1958 : looks like Rust is still the thing to learn this year.
2143 : I guess it's finally time to buy groceries - for fun. Diversification of stimuli is required in between rereading long texts for memorisation, over and over again. So cooking begins again ...
2155 : What I have learnt from 10 minutes of reading : eye cream is just expensive face cream; face cream is just expensive moisturiser.
2248 : electrical engineering : Catching up where I left off in 1998. Heavy sigh.
Sat 2024Mar30, Sabbatical2 @1.008years ( year2; month13; week53; day368 )
0118 : down
1045 : up
1232 : A happy day. 95% on target for sleep. A few minutes of woodwork to improve soundproofing. Coffee, but soon other food. Browser tab management as a modern art. Back to reading physics ... with a cheatsheet for the Greek letters, which I absolutely must remember at some point in life. 40 is a good age to consolidate, these medium priorities in life.
1438 : Swampman and Twin Earth : Two horrible experiments, with historical significance
///
Duhem-Quine thesis : Good example of an analytical treatment, of a post-modern theme.
///
Naturalism : Storm in a teacup. Another example of false dichotomies, and the overemphasis on specific terms instead of on the structure of language which undergirds the introduction of terms.
1610 : I guess (lit.dev) and (shoelace.style) will be an interesting study, as it chops down a lot of noise that came before it.
Installed (tofu) and (rustup). Lots to learn.
1817 : At the end of the day, much of political economy is fending off counterparties that consume more welfare than they provide. 😎
2002 : Playing with algebras is way way way more complicated than playing with bras. In case you weren't aware of the differences in scale.
2015 : noted a classmate's death
2020 : ISO SQL does not adhere to the theory of relational databaseas - this illuminates everything I have ever found confusing about RDBMS-es.
2112 : Glycolic acid is an alpha-hydroxy acid (AHA) found in many cosmetic products. It is made from sugarcane. Recently another C2 carboxylic acid, glyoxylic acid, it has made the news as a correlate with kidney damage due to calcium oxalate precipitation, which is similar to what happens when you get ethylene glycol metabolite poisoning from anti-freeze. I am making a note to read up on this a bit, as I have to go out now.
2359 : YTF did I buy Australian onions ... ^; _ ;^ the downside of increased cooking is - this tiny flat smells like food again
Sun 2024Mar31, Sabbatical2 @1.011years ( year2; month13; week53; day369 )
0607 : Relearning a database design (probably flawed) which I started
prototyping in 2020. Sometimes I wonder if
this hobby is worth the trouble.
Oh wth. When life is too long, invent things.
0631 : down - shortly before dawn
0632 : This is really cute, but I hope to god it is now useless because someone else is maintaining better software than what was available at the time I wrote it. (Lit.dev)?
https://jerng.github.io/corner-store/
1216 : 7up
1343 : Premature optisation concern. Most MSMEs use ""small"" data, which fits in a spreadsheet, and can be adequately handled with something like SQLite. The gap remaining for their digitalisation remains at the application layer.
In 2020 I started R&D on a self-service data modeler and platform-as-a-service for MSMEs. Being concerned that the platform's backend should scale, I started prototyping on DynamoDB with a migration path to ScyllaDB.
Perhaps I should have just started out with SQLite.
Thu Sep28 s2 m7 w27 d184 50.41%
0034 : Life is going to suck in the moments when work is difficult. But isn't that the point of difficult work?
And then you have the plebs that don't actually like to work ... who fill their social profiles with all sorts of nonsense.
0243 : Sometimes I think of my friends, out having fun, and wish I had more time to do that. But then the point of choosing work, is that this has a higher priority than friendship ... lol ... ah well.
0652 : You haven't smelled code, until you've smelled 150 prosaic attempts by people of different skill levels trying to explain how DDR RAM works. After three days of munging, I can confidently say, it's not a smell I'll miss. It begins and ends with one ignorant person. Code smell. Prose smell. It's all the same to a reader ...
0733 : bed
1648 : Awake. Health check. Feeding and grooming. Work. Maybe logistics for sister's wedding later."
"Fri Sep29 s2 m7 w27 d185 50.68%
1519 : First 18 years post-college, I made socialising a really low priority because I had to focus on upskilling. Maybe I should adjust back a little now 😎"
"Sat Sep30 s2 m7 w27 d186 50.96%
1530 : Eight hours till extraction.
Sab2 week27/52 review
DEETS: wedding noises
Sun Oct1 s2 m7 w27 d187 51.23%
0118 : Done with the bulk of wedding falala. Back to my usual programming ...
0426 : to bed
1324 : Awake. Enforced feeding I guess, then work.
Mon Oct2 s2 m7 w27 d188 51.51%
1208 : Feeding. Housekeeping. Networking. Study. Off we go ...
Tue Oct3 s2 m7 w27 d189 51.78%
0352 : yesterday was sorta all housekeeping and rest, plus a bit of social work, and a smidgen of desk
0435 : bed
1336 : Feed check. Then work.
Glomped starches : 100g -> 150g per meal ... hopefully reducing meals but maintaining a moderate protein digestion rate.
1923 : Checks :
- glucose, salts, fats, protein, fibre, micros
- vasomotor balance, conscious latency, autonomous breath rate
- cleanliness, sociability, bankability
need to review and tidy up the list
"
"
Sab2 week28/52 review
DEETS: semi-social, semi-study week, tending to partners
Wed Oct4 s2 m7 w28 d190 52.05%
1742 : Since high-school I've had one intellectual interest, to show that human experience is uncomplicated and simple. Most people believe that human software is complicated. I don't think so ... I think the software-ish ""parts"" of our cognitive apparatus are fairly straightforward, but the hardware-ish ""parts"", the implementations in atoms and molecules are actually quite complicated relative to the abstract information processing. So twenty-plus years later, I still think that's the case.
I think if we can show that people are simple it would have many commercial side effects,but those are not the point. I think that everyone is generally more focused on the commercial side, on how to save money, and improve economies of scale - all that's nice but that is not really intellectually interesting. I just want to show people that being human isn't special.
The cultured human brain remains unconquered in terms of intelligence per Watt. We'll see how long this remains to be!
Thu Oct5 s2 m7 w28 d191 52.33%
0437 : I need to tighten up my protocols for acute (allergic / vasomotor) rhinitis. It took about 12 hours, three meals, and a nap to get over today's bout.
Test :
- wash / groom
- 25g protein
- minimum 30-minute nap
- repeat on 3-hourly cycles
Maybe I can get this down to one or two cycles. But then, without more comprehensive testing, it's hard to say if one builds resistance after a few closely occuring bouts, or if one simply gets intuitively averse to the agonist/stimulant.
0439 : Shitty half-day spent ill and tending to complaints. Need to improve productivity.
1427 : Protein is helping. Rhinitis abated. Muscles ache all over from being rearranged at the molecular level. Body building is strange.
1513 : meal1 done
2116 : Dalam istilah penggambaran autisme, terdapat pula Teori Empati Sesama - iaitu, antara kebudayaan pelbagai golongan, tiada satu yang dianggap piawai atau berketuanan. Lagipun kita memerhatikan fakta ini : pelbagai golongan tidak dapat memahami antara satu sama lain dengan yang lain tanpa pembelanjaan khas tenaga. Frasa yang saya agak minat, dari perbualan perjodohan saya sendiri : kita tidak sejiwa, tapi kita ada persefahaman. Kebarangkalian bukan sifar : ciri-ciri pengendalian ketamadunan am akan menerangkan pengendalikan sifat autisme.
2325 : Well, with the ongoing-FML ... I think the next few study days or weeks will regard the linguistics of computer programs, and related software.
Fri Oct6 s2 m7 w28 d192 52.6%
0354 : Social bonding : sometimes everyone is too tired to do much more than just collapse into a pile and imprint on one another.
0519 : Spent an hour cleaning up spilt noodles and a burnt wrist. A nice change of pace. Back to the Chomsky hierarchy in the afternoon, I guess. Time to brush my teeth and get a nap.
1527 : Meal1 done. Bumped up protein by another 50%, so gonna space out the EAA supplementation into two doses per meal over the next hour or so. I'm still fudging the math - more care required.I'm still not running autonomic nervous system checks often enough - so I think, ambient noise in the buffers is still an addressable issue.
On to reading linguistics.
1834 : way too many distractions this week. Revising food intake, and doing more research on socially discussed subjects.
1840 : Shy people are generally irritating brakes, but empathy demands we regard them not as intrinsically flawed, but as a variety of the cursed, and hence redeemable entities.
2049 : A few straggling distractions from last week.
Looks like the next week will be full of chores also. Many chores undone this week.
2226 : 52% of the year gone. Maybe I should prepare for a second year off. ( done )
Sat Oct7 s2 m7 w28 d193 52.88%
1247 : Awake. Reviewing commitments. Somewhat anxious about structure, so perhaps streamlining soon. Maybe I just need to do my chores.
Sun Oct8 s2 m7 w28 d194 53.15%
1848 : Ok, so hypertrophy causes neural refactoring, which presents to the user as numbness and soreness. Therefore, neurotrophic agents help to maintain proprioception on hypertrophic campaigns.
Mon Oct9 s2 m7 w28 d195 53.42%
0949 : Week begins. Cleanup time.
Tue Oct10 s2 m7 w28 d196 53.7%
1700 : The tactic of eating large meals followed by an insulin crash, may need to be paired with a splitting of sleep into shorter segements. For example, instead of a 10-hour block, it could be a 9-hour block, followed by food prep and cleanup for 1-hour, followed by the tenth hour of ""sleep"", in the form of lounging.
"
"
Sab2 week29/52 review
DEETS: endocrinology, and more procrastination, and study of how they are related
Wed Oct11 s2 m7 w29 d197 53.97%
0557 : waiting for meta to recombine ig, threads, and FB UIs
0700 : Strategy review :
- error, ingesting fish oil without other fats ; synchronise with tofu ration
- obtain pill-cutter to divide multivitamins into 3 - 4 subdoses daily
- drill into neural / conscious information processing recovery factors ( still a relatively foggy subject, following strenuous exercise or alcohol / other psychotropic depressant ingestion ; it could be that endurance drills are all that are needed to moderate inflammation and anoxia )
- stock-in azelastine for emergencies
- design more tests, read more broadly
- maybe I just need to do more aerobics
Strategy review :
- error, ingesting fish oil without other fats ; synchronise with tofu ration
- obtain pill-cutter to divide multivitamins into 3 - 4 subdoses daily
- drill into neural / conscious information processing recovery factors ( still a relatively foggy subject, following strenuous exercise or alcohol / other psychotropic depressant ingestion ; it could be that endurance drills are all that are needed to moderate inflammation and anoxia )
- stock-in azelastine for emergencies
- design more tests, read more broadly
1551 : Quantity survey of lepaking : in the grand tradition of middle-class Malaysians, my natural habitats include the shopping mall. From where I currently live, it's a seven kilometres drive to the nearest shiny place ( cost : MYR ( 5.60 round-trip + 3 / hour ) ). So two hours per day comes to 4,234 MYR per year. I can get that down to 600 MYR by moving to an apartment directly connected by train. Note for further optimisation.
Thu Oct12 s2 m7 w29 d198 54.25%
Fri Oct13 s2 m7 w29 d199 54.52%
1530 : did 70 minutes of vacuuming - forgot my protection, so I'm partially deaf again :P
1704 : It's a week full of chores, and operational review. Today I am thinking about key events which have slowed me down in my professional life over the last twenty-years, and I am reviewing policy for how tolerate I should be about such counterparties in the future.
1800 : someone needs to set up an Instagram called
@4am_lonelee_kongkek_lottery
to showcase all those odd texts
2019 : When I first began modelling the quantification of conscious memory, about 20 years ago, I began by segmenting data by gross modality ... aural, visual, somatosensory, etc. and I made gross comparisons between the quantities of each modal segment in memory, in terms of ratios.
Following up on that work, after all this time, having hardly touched it - I find it is appropriate to sub-segment the aural and visual data based on what I want to be thinking about. For example, grossly there may be a 1:1:3 ratio of the three named sense modalities' data in my conscious memory at the present. However drilling into the aural and visual segments only, I might find that what data is there (what is consciously appraised) is not what I want to be thinking about.
So even without modifying the ratio between segments, but retaining an acknowledgement of the distinction between segments, and their ratios ... I can improve my focus on specific aural and visual structures ( for example, a text to be studied, or a set of work to be done ), by actively managing the contents of the buffers holding data of those segments only.
Hm
Sat Oct14 s2 m7 w29 d200 54.79%
1820 : Pre-swim warm-up : if air-conditioning causes body temperature to drop, turn off the air-conditioning to raise body temperature.
2132 : I think a recreational swim ... which in my case, involves diving for trash ... is an excellent specialised aerobic exercise, in that it almost has no major strain on any musculoskeletal system, but just forces you to focus on anoxia and respiration. I don't know. Maybe I'm taking it too easily - but since I have my other bases covered ... weights for higher resistance, running for tactical resistance, maybe this is where swimming fits into my schedule.
Sun Oct15 s2 m7 w29 d201 55.07%
0304 : 20 years ago, my friend found it odd that I would schedule ""a day for thinking,"" to sort out my memory. Recently I find I might be inadvertantly spending ""a week for thinking,"" here and there. I guess I'll chalk it up to twenty years of studying unstructured subjects without the benefit of pre-digested curriculum. It is what it is - we make these choices.
0500 : Sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems, memory control, hormonal activation. Analyse later
1333 : Awake. Checked inboxes. Enforced washing and feeding. Then I need to jot down notes for a model of endocrinology.
I need to map out a matrix of signalling molecules x stimulants x effects.
//
Initial tear down of the past fornight's lethargy :
- rhinitis : reaction : conscious reduction of breath depth and rate
- generally robust loading of creatine and carnosine : higher energy dependence on anaerobic energy stores rather than aerobic ... increases tolerance of low oxygen intake
- lower blood oxygen : stemming from low rate of active breathing ... I'll need to get an oxymeter at some point for data capture, more so if I'm going to be training for free diving
1437 : GnRH agonists : Bookmarking the option of chemical castration for optimisation for work :P Turns out this is pretty important - because ... sigh ... cognitive efficiency depends on somatic efficiency, and somatic efficiency is just completely tied up with sex. No choice but to horn-dawg the shit out of this study ... ""The core product of any executive is their cognitive and social output a the workplace. All that brain work depends on how bodies are managed. Bodies come with legacy systems that have no immediate use at work ... but do we manage those legacies actively?
""
1543 : Important : arrhythmias vs heart-rate variability / HRV
2016 : over the course of the day's readings, I've reminded myself to breath actively, and it's fixed my lack of focus stemming from trained shallowness of breath. Particularly, long inhalation followed by short exhalations are helping ... I am wondering what the neural or hydraulic feedback mechanisms are. There's a lot of folk literature on short inhalations followed by long exhalations being used as therapy for the vague nerve - but that doesn't say much about the opposite pattern.
Mon Oct16 s2 m7 w29 d202 55.34%
1306 : Recent lack of focus fixed by accentuating inhalations. Actually I don't know if it's increased B12 dosing that's helping - or if it's both. Hypertrophy sorta month. On with work.
1855 : Hard data on nutrition/RM :
RM 14.00 : two plates rice, hunk of steamed fish, green vegetables, chicken curry, vegetarian mix
< winner
RM 13.90 : one cup Llaollao brand sweetened froyo, covered in junk food sauce
< loser
RM 7.98 : 400g kailan fresh
< chicken dinner
2321 : It turns out that potassium chloride pairs really well with chocolate ice cream. But then again - we also have NaCl and burnt walnuts in here, so ... IDK
//
Microwaving a handful of nuts before service greatly improves their (culinary) aromaticity. This is particularly useful for unevenly toasted batches ( f u c k i n g c a s h e w g e o m e t r y - first time, I swear ).
Tue Oct17 s2 m7 w29 d203 55.62%
0522 : sabbatical 2, year 1, 55.62% today ... while I have been struggling with memory management for a couple of weeks, I think PTSD from loud noises has been distracting me. So I just have to identify those events, and detach the trauma, so I can get back to grinding on the same :P
1900 : Found another memory management bug. I've been blocking writes from my second-to-second memory, to my minute-to-minute memory. ( Gross abstraction. ) So I end up spending too much energy repressing what I see in the current environment - this needs to be studiously undone on a regular basis. It's only useful after there is saturation of the mid-term buffers, and if short-term writes to the mid-term are failing due to such saturation. // so much noradrenaline stuff to study, ugh
"
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Sab2 week30/52 review
DEETS: optimisations to relationships, daily schedule, maybe food also
Wed Oct18 s2 m7 w30 d204 55.89%
0012 : Following today's second feeding - I am still exercising the conscious transfer of second-to-second sensory memories to minute-to-minute buffers. An observation : flipping the second-to-second and minute-to-minute buffers at a high velocity, raises dopamine ... or so it seems from how my subconscious instincts proceed from there. Still monitoring.
0033 : Or it's just the artificial daylight systems. IDK man ...
0046 : GANE model helps explain why protein helps me dream ... and the relationship between noradrenaline, and acetylcholine during non-REM and REM sleep, is enlightening.
0111 : Why the fuck didn't they teach us in school, that noradrenaline is heavily involved in the neurology of learning, such that if we want to get better at learning, we have to get better and controlling our noradrenegic activities?
Maybe it's because they didn't know it, and we're still not sure how it works. But it's a fascinating area of research, nonetheless.
0257 : Very concerned about many of my friends, but not really able to help beyond what is allowed.
Some people will adopt a stance of ordering others to change their preferences and behaviours, but I think that's not the sort of violence I'm into. I'm violent enough to share my opinions, but that's about it lol.
Well, as the wind blows ...
0428 : tidied up stuff from interrupted business - ah, it's good to keep things tidy
0513 : Perhaps I should be harsher on learners. 🤔 But today could also be the day we die, so it is generally cool to save some energy just in case one has to celebrate.
1200 : 56% of sab2year1 today. Awake. Less burdened for now. May become more burdened later.
Maintaining focus on efficiency concerns. Enforced grooming, feeding, and study. Maybe still on endocrinology.
1545 : Notes : acetylcholine associates with the diversity and resolution of aesthetic imagination; dopamine associates with the diversity and prioritisation of the subsequent temporal dimension ... contributing in particular, after five minutes to longer-term memory commitments; noradrenaline just makes you hot and bothered about what's in the short-term aesthetic memory.
1600 : Who would have thought that the Malaysian with the highest global tit-count in history, on social media, would be Tony ...
( completely in-character, really )
Say no to body-shaming. Free the nipple.
2359 : Good day catching up with old friends, and making new ones. No eggshells to tread on ...
Thu Oct19 s2 m7 w30 d205 56.16%
0202 : Work is a subset of social life.
I try to keep my social life transparent. I find most people to be foolish, but I leave most of them alone. Folks who hang out with me, get to hear it more. It's a pretty straightforward way of keeping fools out of my orbit. Open door policy mostly - I have very few people on my blocklist. The blocklist tends to be people who send repeat requests after denials I suppose.
0224 : Typically the Fed raises rates too late, and stops raising them too late also. I'm guessing that we'll see the Fed side-eye at least one month of sub-2% nominal inflation before implementing any cuts ... by the time cuts take effect, we might even be in nominally deflationary territory. All eyes are on global real estate at this point. Ukraine's a drag. Jewlestine's just a blip ( financially ).
1640 : Rested, muchly. Not yet productive. Second week of optimisations.
1807 : Justs realised Interstellar is a riff on 2001.
And that 2001 was made in 1968.
lol
1811 : adding vinegar to rice reduces my demand for kim chi and diet soda, i guess it's all about the acidity
2134 : periodic clearing of email
2205 : tidied up monthly chore calendar
1
Fri Oct20 s2 m7 w30 d206 56.44%
0021 : Hm. Traced part of this mild depression to an excessive procrastination of objective oriented operations. Well. I'll just chalk it up to being socially responsible. Fixing the backlog now. 🙃
0522 : checked out NSK Selayang again. 13.5 hours up. an early sleep
1338 : up
1408 : Today we study sleep. Exercise exhaustion probably helpful with N3
1523 : Maybe the only reason I remember more dreams in the later hours of sleep, is because my cortisol levels are higher
5234 : Endocrinology is similar to political-economics in complexity.
Sat Oct21 s2 m7 w30 d207 56.71%
0600 : refreshed myself on Intel and AMD products for the first time in years
Sun Oct22 s2 m7 w30 d208 56.99%
0429 : It's been a difficult fortnight. But the weather has been nice - all grey and drizzly. I'm literally lighting candles to it. I am grateful for friends who remain close, regardless of whether we want to understand each other or not.Between 0400 and 0500 on a Sunday morning, is a good time to study the acoustic modality ... the world is largely, quiet.
Mon Oct23 s2 m7 w30 d209 57.26%
1156 : Awake. Enforced feeding, then I should really clean that old flat.
1634 : Cleaning construction defects from an old flat ... these errors must have been made in the 90s!
2335 : Back to computing studies, in the fourth quarter of the day.
Tue Oct24 s2 m7 w30 d210 57.53%
0236 : scheduled sleep, an hour late
1120 : up, somewhere about 8.5 hours I see.
1328 : Writhing in mediocrity for a few weeks. Back to cleaning.
"
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Sab2 week31/52 review
DEETS: relationship adventures and adjustments, mostly; and plaster and paint levelling studies
Wed Oct25 s2 m7 w31 d211 57.81%
0134 : probably to bed by 0200 in attempted compliance with the daily model
1000 : up, following two hydrations around 0800
Thu Oct26 s2 m7 w31 d212 58.08%
1134 : As time progresses, information systems will be integrated further. The further along we continue on the current track of meat and AI, the closer most of the world we live in will become a monolithic robot ... with some meaty parts, and some machine parts. This is the obvious future for people who understand these things. We like to make fun of the dinosaurs by looking at the chickens that remain. What do you think will remain of the human genome? Will childhood last longer? Will artificial wombs allow for gestation to last longer? Very curious.
Meanwhile, we make the most of our little lives with the meat we live in and around. These are the temporary distractions that will last our entire lives.
1212 : Up slightly later today. I still don't know how to do social life. I ran out of time to experiment years ago, after allocating most of my attention to work. I'm grateful for the people who flutter in and out of my atmosphere. More painting and wall scrubbing, shortly ...
1400 : Domain of study today : reduced kinesthetic resolution, normal functionality in optic and acoustic modalities.
1. Hormonal causes : acetylcholine up? serotonine up? cortisol down? which epinephrine where? testosterone and estradiol? Other? Oxytocin and vasopressin?
2. How to fix : we know muscling at maximum resistance helps - how? What else helps?
1758 : Wow, I hadn't sold any crypto in 2 months.
Fri Oct27 s2 m8 w31 d213 58.36%
0209 : A large chunk of society, still depends on empathy. Members of this population tend to align with the notion that empathy defines the good. Unfortunately not all of us depend on empathy, and so not all of us are aligned with that notion. What results is simply a culture war. Once more, some believe that wars are good, and others that wars are evil ... which is how the arguments for and against wars, are spun. And so go the arguments for and against relationships in general, i.e. business.
0302 : Following the implementation of the daily schedule by waking quarters, I am able to compare quarters for variations in information processing sensitivity. Right now I'm just looking at dopamine's and prolactin's interrelated effects on data processing from sensory nerves to the CNS. IDK ... this seems like a deep, dark, dive ...
0320 : 2.3 hours late to bed
0930 : up, that's six-ish hours ...
Sat Oct28 s2 m8 w31 d214 58.63%
0115 : actual sleep.
1047 : up
Sun Oct29 s2 m8 w31 d215 58.9%
0930 : Woah, 13-hour party ... so after tidying up, and putting everyone to bed, it is actually time to go out for Sunday networking over coffees.
What a year.
I probably haven't sighted this much dick since the King's Island locker room in 1991/2.
Gonna get little naps between meetings.
Overall, enjoyed the escort role. Nothing too risque happened, relevant parties satisfied. Got told by hostess to not do the dishes, of course, haha. Hope I didn't overly annoy anyone.
1546 : 28 hour shift so far. Nice. Didn't die. Time to put myself to bed with some help.
Mon Oct30 s2 m8 w31 d216 59.18%
0845 : up.
0948 : reflecting while a friend takes an exam
Tue Oct31 s2 m8 w31 d217 59.45%
0222 : Forgotten gem from the weekend : ""I'm sapiosexual. You know, it means the less interested a person is, the more I want them.""
0334 : late to bed
0840 : up
"
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Sab2 week32/52 review
DEETS:
Wed Nov1 s2 m8 w32 d218 59.73%
0256 : late to bed. bunch of reading on drugs. hopefully a productive day in the morning
0930 : up at the alarm
1020 : out of bed
1525 : geography of puncak Perdana, and it's surrounding townships
Thu Nov2 s2 m8 w32 d219 60%
Fri Nov3 s2 m8 w32 d220 60.27%
1530 : business development meetings
1802 : Austerity is on-track !! But could be better : 3Q2023, Student's Credit Card Payments + Cash Spent : RM 10,521.98
Sat Nov4 s2 m8 w32 d221 60.55%
1331 : We love those we can, until there is no way to love them more. Then we send them on their way to others who can.
1650 : Good news today, was I tracked down another 1k of -CF from 3Q2023, and found it was a loan. So, opex was even lower, like 3k/month average. Nice.
2249 : Piss poor evening, resulting from bad decisions. Drive around town looking for a coke dealer. Ended up ordering online. Jammed as fuck streets.
Thanks to Ben's Grocer Publika for the solution. Lol. Never again.At least some geography got done.
2335 : Right now I would rather be dead. That's a good thing, because most of October has been particularly mediocre. The end of tolerance for such middling is probably a good sign. At least now there's some fury to drive performance. It is less boring to be angry, than to be satisfied with one's environment.
Sun Nov5 s2 m8 w32 d222 60.82%
0021 : So I have this one friend who said we shouldn't be friends anymore because we have different values about friendship ... to them, friends are issues of loyalty, and to me friends are issues of convenience ... I agree with their appreciation of our different views by the way.
The amusing thing was they then said that while friendships was off the table, romps in bed would be feasible - so now I'm thinking, given my standing in the economy as an unemployed person, maybe it's time to register as a baby on Sugarbook.
LOL
I'm not sure if I really want to think about this. I just want to get back to my huge backlog of work.
0050 : I realised that with some of my conversational partners, I don't think of their bodies, unless I think of their bodies being with someone else. Then I miss their bodies. Not saying it's a good or bad thing - just making a technical observation about how my brain has been working.
0150 : soon to bed. late, was supposed to be 2320. serotonin seems low today
1120 : Tinder seems to have significantly cleaned up its bots of late.
Mon Nov6 s2 m8 w32 d223 61.1%
Tue Nov7 s2 m8 w32 d224 61.37%
0059 : A very interesting quirk about sabbatical2 so far, has been the amount of relationship drama I've had to work on. Oh well, as long as the portfolio is on a positive trajectory, I suppose work is work.
1216 : Asset Allocation is at 26% cash ... cuts into upside, but WTH, such volatile underliers.
"
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Sab2 week33/52 review
DEETS:
Wed Nov8 s2 m8 w33 d225 61.64%
1553 : I think it's time for me to track my asset allocations across the entire portfolio. Family office of one ...
Thu Nov9 s2 m8 w33 d226 61.92%
Fri Nov10 s2 m8 w33 d227 62.19%
0827 : Sell the news? Too late.
1633 : The dumb thing about not caring too much about money, is that I have to stare at a big number for a really long time before I can remember what it's good for. Oh well, the trivial concerns of a diversified brain.
1826 : I still don't know how to quickly execute paint on plaster. Need to read up on cellulose.
Sat Nov11 s2 m8 w33 d228 62.47%
0351 : Diversified from two to three tickers.
0928 : Today is the day I experience paint primer.
Sun Nov12 s2 m8 w33 d229 62.74%
1154 : May you find joy in your work, today.
1227 : Does anyone in my network work with drug enforcement and social outreach in Malaysia? I've been studying endocrinology, and I'm interested to learn about policy and enforcement operations here.
Mon Nov13 s2 m8 w33 d230 63.01%
0406 : Heavy sigh. Studies interrupted once again ... this time by the crypto bull market. Make hay while the sun shines, wtf.
Tue Nov14 s2 m8 w33 d231 63.29%
1015 : Asset Allocation today : 100% cash going into inflation news. CPI beats forecasts by 0.1%. HODL
"
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Sab2 week34/52 review
DEETS: largely social work, and painting
Wed Nov15 s2 m8 w34 d232 63.56%
Thu Nov16 s2 m8 w34 d233 63.84%
1224 : Feeling cute. Might switch up my dating bio too ""Househusband material. But you're going to have to convince me,"" for a few months to see if anyone bites.
2040 : Caught up with another friend stuck in a business deal without a stamped contract. Guys ... FFS ... stop trusting twerps, and get your contracts stamped!
2154 : Will Russia reveal a sophisticated pivot in 2024?
Fri Nov17 s2 m8 w34 d234 64.11%
0014 : I face too many intellectual challenges. So the challengers must take turns on my feeble brain. Trading crypto. Painting a flat. Physical conditioning. The study of computers. My friends and their relationships, sometimes our relationships.
1224 : From a discussion on politics and moral compasses : I mean, I naturally have empathy etc. and awareness of social pressures. But my POLICY is to prefer moral agnosticism. So I regularly train myself to prepare for any outcome, no matter how shocking to my neighbours.
Sat Nov18 s2 m8 w34 d235 64.38%
0011 : Met a few lady CEOs over the years - generally conservative types. I tend to dial up the complexity of chit-chat to like 9 just to see if this is someone I'd want to work with ... but I should probably stop doing that. Scares the living daylights out of people who are looking for life partners. Not sure if I'm doing it wrong. I'm probably doing it wrong. But that's ok ... I guess ... funnels are funnels ... and time is always short, somehow ...
1223 : c-fund : 10% down from ATH ; about 39% in cash ... definitely not as conservative as I should have been.
1602 : trendy cuck fantasies : Oh, I've seen this ... walked in, smiled, and walked out to avoid being a distraction ... you can call me a cuck if you like, but I don't really feel a sense of humiliation ... rather I'm amused when my partner is happy. I don't really care who's making them happy. Lol
1605 : sprawled on my bed, enjoying a quiet day
2040 : 2023 has probably been my most active social life year since 2001. -_-
Sun Nov19 s2 m8 w34 d236 64.66%
1050 : pay bills kinda day
1900 : 祝你所需要你的人
- the matchmaking diaries
Mon Nov20 s2 m8 w34 d237 64.93%
1032 : NRIC : ""tiada ugama"" : I just met someone who managed to set this at JPN. I'm going to have to find out how to do it!
1156 : ATH-4.6%, cash0%, rebalanced
1412 : I think I am finally done with plastering. Time to vacc and touch up the paint.
1818 : A quiet period. Some solitary meditation is appropriate, as there has been a lot of external work of late.
Tue Nov21 s2 m8 w34 d238 65.21%
0100 : You know what I hate about Malaysian startup founders?
Glorification of the small. It's fucking pathetic.
Can't blame them though. It's truly Malaysian style ...
0620 : Half multivit before bed. Awake early. Should test this repeatedly.
1921:bTC : dump time
"
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Sab2 week35/52 review
DEETS: bridged a lot of networks
Wed Nov22 s2 m8 w35 d239 65.48%
0926 : ath-14%,c0%, asset allocation error OR profit taking error
0940 : Awake. Nutrition. Meditation on quantities. Grind.
1330 : I've recently been working on the case of an adult child. There are various ways to deal with trauma. Sometimes one needs to simply avoid asking for and accepting hand-outs, as an artificial forcing factor to motivate oneself to satisfy oneself.
I find that I have limited my budget of respect for people who cannot step away from their religion, their family, their friends, the law, the option of death, and yet find a way to be happy. I find them disgusting. But then, that is just my religion - and my religion does not allow me to take myself too seriously.
1625 : Back from networking. Time to flush memory.
1709 : Thinking about sleeping faster.
Thu Nov23 s2 m8 w35 d240 65.75%
0905 : I'm not very clever. I must improve.
And the greatest danger to improvement is, hanging out with people who tell me that I am cleverer than they are.
1445 : So in my first year of studying crypto markets, my portfolio grew large enough to offset the cost of my mortgages. Hopefully by the end of the second year, it hasn't regressed - further hopefully, it grow should offset whatever assets I have to liquidate for living expenses. But that is a bit optimistic. Isn't it?
1846 : I like how you can completely unnecessarily troll a person in one building, then leave a trigger note in a different building where they're habitually situated, then have them come waltzing around with an ""I told you so,"" when they find it.
2317 : Steven Pressfield writes that an amateur thinks he has to get rid of fear before working, a professional never tries and only works on how to deal with fear tactically. OK - I guess I spent that $15,000 in 2012 for nothing. Haha.
Fri Nov24 s2 m8 w35 d241 66.03%
1535 : Selling down. Too many things to worry about.
Sat Nov25 s2 m8 w35 d242 66.3%
Sun Nov26 s2 m8 w35 d243 66.58%
0124 : Saturday night. I've got feeds coming in from parties, insomniac artists, and casual therapists ... while I do laundry and sew a monitor case. Fun life. It's pretty simple.
Mon Nov27 s2 m9 w35 d244 66.85%
0658 : A short sleep. Still on standby. Off to paint in a bit, I suppose. But first, food.
1036 : Alright. Painting is almost done.
1154 : Let me see how many meetings i can set up between now and 6pm lol
1531 : Napped. Still stressed. time to feed
Tue Nov28 s2 m9 w35 d245 67.12%
1418 : Awake. Feeding. Review of positions. Time to lose money. And it is also time to get back to the construction site.
1746 : done with some medium sized consumer durable purchases. fund at ATH-14%, 0%-cash. ugh.
1821 : 67.12% done with the first year of this sabbatical. If work is too slow, I might take a second year. Meanwhile learnings have been only slightly positive. Cash flow has been slightly negative. But social life has been quite enriching. I look forward to improvements in business.
"
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Sab2 week36/52 review
DEETS: more social work, cleaning the flat, and studying markets - BAU
Wed Nov29 s2 m9 w36 d246 67.4%
0320 : late to bed
1208 : Wake. Feed. Work.
2243 : In my lifetime, KL made the transition from 2D neighbourhood layouts, to 3D. Hence there are so many more names to remember now.
Thu Nov30 s2 m9 w36 d247 67.67%
0922 : Awake. Feed. Clean. Work.
1100 : Focusing on one major distraction at a time.
1129 : Apparently the SPE is deserted because it's not yet on Google Maps. LOL
Fri Dec1 s2 m9 w36 d248 67.95%
2351 : Extremely busy year. But not really the money kind. Haven't had an extremely busy money year ... since 2015.
Sat Dec2 s2 m9 w36 d249 68.22%
1948 : ok - who else is thinking of going short equities in 1Q24 ? talk to meee
2248 : Social choring. Drove to Ipoh and back. Various networking things. Surveyed Tsutaya and Seibu.
Rebalanced asset allocation of portfolio.
Darning a sock ... then time to cook instant noodles for dinner.
2307 : Explained to my doctor friend how YTL / Sentul Depot has consistently been an irresponsible corporate citizen with regards to noise pollution, for the past 18 months at least, whereas no one is currently free enough to take a stick to it. LOL
2340 : Super trendy right now : the current nature of AI, and its future impact on global economics.
Look ... the end-game is a massive impact. But the current state of the art is rather primitive. I've wholly believed that humans are trivial since figuring out how to quantify human experience in the early noughties - I've also generally avoided discussing it for the most part, since no one really needs another opinion on this. I know it's a laughable position - I've been laughing and most people, for most of my life, I'm just too polite to make it obvious to them.
Sun Dec3 s2 m9 w36 d250 68.49%
1226 : Post mistakes : hereby what I am going to call all my expensive fuck-ups.
Mon Dec4 s2 m9 w36 d251 68.77%
1127 : recalibration : I need to get back into the mindset that MYR 10 is a lot, and I shouldn't be dropping it all over.
Tue Dec5 s2 m9 w36 d252 69.04%
1115 : Awake. Rebalance portfolio. Feed. Fix walls.
1447 : The steps to install ceiling boards are
1. measuring
2. scoring
3. snapping
4. sealing
5. painting
6. positioning
1821 : TIL the honey badger and wolverine are in the same family. That explains a lot.
"
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Sab2 week37/52 review
DEETS:
Wed Dec6 s2 m9 w37 d253 69.32%
Thu Dec7 s2 m9 w37 d254 69.59%
0614 : 4Q2023 is just exhausting.
0712 : (1) Anyone working in C2C apparel resale, or upcycling?
(2) Anyone working on ""mobile apps for organisation"" that limit phone capability Example : school mode, locks down available features when user sets status to ""at school"". Work mode, locks down available features when user sets status to ""at work"" ( yes I know, Apple and Google both offer workplace controls for this, but I'm curious if anyone is developing software in this exact space )
1056 : I think I surround myself with too many grumpy people. It's not they're particularly grumpy people, but rather that I have a limited supply of emotional labour, so I have to price it rather high. Oh well. I need to improve my portfolio management. LOL
1459 : Awake, after a busy week. Time to feed, network, and work.
Fri Dec8 s2 m9 w37 d255 69.86%
1120 : Fantastic. More social distractions. The rest of 2023 seems like a bit of a write-off at this point.
1535 : Time for breakfast. And research into cleaning tiles.
Sat Dec9 s2 m9 w37 d256 70.14%
1750 : / Reviewing management consulting /
As much as I admire the nature of the professional, I've never been able to take it too seriously. I mean, I giggle my way through the interview process.
As much as long hours and wet work are the brand of F&B, the consulting industry is branded as a place where rich plebs get help from willing servants of various qualities.
I should probably think carefully at some point, about how to articulate the sort of work I'd like to do in this field, before getting into it properly - that is, if I ever do.
2243 : Defensive positions.
2341 : Back to work on cleaning the flat ... tiles tiles tiles ...
Sun Dec10 s2 m9 w37 d257 70.41%
0044 : Crazy Rich Asians, and the ""year of Asian representation"". Well, you get representation, but you're still the clown. That's why it wasn't Crazy Rich White Folks. Let's see if we see equality before I'm dead. I'm not betting on it. But you know, dynasties have been known to fall in a flash.
0344 : Busy decade / year / quarter / month / fortnight / week / day / hour.
Kept tabs on friends, and found them to be happy. Bed time.
1607 : Tomorrow is acid wash day.
1858 : Next investment objective : raise earnings from 3.7kpmo to 4.5kpmo
1933 : Tis the season for reminiscing funny stories about MyTeksi.
Mon Dec11 s2 m9 w37 d258 70.68%
0107 : I put myself to bed, looking forward to new work in the morning. The bed I sleep on is used, yet masked with $2 fragrance oil of ""wild orchids"". The friends I talk to, do many things, new and old. Some are missing. Some are here, in my head. I review our collective motivations and we are lost, and scattered. I remain motivated by the triviality of men, women, and others. I will obliterate hope. I will struggle as needed to disappear the passions of all around me. I am going to sleep. This was my meditation for the minutes preceding. I live, unfortunately, so the game continues.
1303 : Rise, wash, feed, pour acid on floors, adjust portfolios, organise home, clean, clean, clean, tidy ... etc.
Tue Dec12 s2 m9 w37 d259 70.96%
0315 : bed
0941 : Next targets 5k and 6k, 19 days to go. Off to get a water jet
1922 : Teh o, vadai, myr 3.30.
This is the way ...
"
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Sab2 week38/52 review
DEETS:
Wed Dec13 s2 m9 w38 d260 71.23%
0153 : Yesterday was a good day. Up then down about 1.2kpmo, due to poor risk management and waffling. So investments were neutral.
- tested water jet ; jet failed
- executed two consultations, one in F&B, one in fintech
- found a new development premise
- bought a friend lunch
- received a coffee from one consultation
- hot aunty bought me dinner
- counselled a recent friend
- checked in on my other friends
A decent day.
1243 : Back to floor scrubbing.
1500 : Lunchtime napkin math. At the nominal rate of 50% per year, it'll take me another 15 years to 600x my capital. But chances are within that time I'll have figured out how to do better than 50%, so I think we're good for the long-term. The main advantage I have is that I'm already content with minimum wage life, I like working long hours, and I think that's the best way to spend life on earth. On we go ...
1734 : In TTDI. Anyone want to meetup this evening?
2357 : Middling day. Some progress on construction research. Some tactical investments paid off, but the whole fund is back on the market and might collapse anyway. Caught up with two old friends.
Thu Dec14 s2 m9 w38 d261 71.51%
0011 : Going to bed stressed. Also polished a counselling case today.
1945 : TRX mall design geniuses put a surau next to the men's room, with no special wuduk area. So the entire floor of the men's room is covered in water and paper globs. And there's a standing queue at the sinks.
Fri Dec15 s2 m9 w38 d262 71.78%
0830 : coffee and laundry
1233 : orbital sander
1355 : Loads of chores done in Q4. Almost done studying construction techniques. Splurged a bit on socials. But I gotta reel in opex again.
1821 : Soldering time.
2200 : car door and light fixed
2222 : Amateurish mistake. Forgot to check technicals before buying.
Sat Dec16 s2 m9 w38 d263 72.05%
0101 : dinner in the neighbourhood; late to bed
1630 : Ploughed a lot of time into charity work helping disabled or encumbered corporations and individuals recently. Wondering when my time will come, when I transition from apex predator to prey, and succumb to entropy. Ah - Saturday musings.
Sun Dec17 s2 m9 w38 d264 72.33%
2006 : What a shitty weekend. Poor food, poor work, and poor health.
2210 : Yesterday I was thinking, I should establish clear views for 1h, 6h, and 24h forward hypotheses on my investment positions, before putting work down, in each session of work.
Mon Dec18 s2 m9 w38 d265 72.6%
1418 : awake. must have been underslept. caught up. time to grind.
1529 : Figuring out how much care to give patients is important. Patience is key. Upon signs of recovery, triage entails an aggressive claw-back of resources for other uses, as long as relapse is not imminent. Perhaps I provide care to more people than is healthy for me. But I was raised in this industry, so I should be skilled enough to manage the risks.
Should 😎
1930 : I was wondering if I have become disproportionately absent minded of late. I think not. In the mid-noughties I had a lot to think about, having figured out how to quantify human experience, the revision of every momentary experience under this lens was an absorbing practicum.
Now in the mid-20s, I have all of that experience, plus :
- a business to wind up
- a debtor to collect from
- two creditors of note
- two frequent social partners with respective concerns
- other infrequent social partners with respective concerns
- a number of distressed friends and businesses of friends, whom I hold space for
- no day job
- sometimes a few hundred thousand Ringgit in daily cash flows to manage
- daily profits and losses of up to 20% of AUM
Right now, despite forgetting to collect the sandpaper I bought from the hardware store, I am just happy to have arrived at today's office, where I will seek to clean tiles without electrocuting myself.
Some would call it folly, and I might not disagree. But nevertheless it seems like growth.
2200 : TIR I can call myself a hedge fund manager, because the only reason I own crypto is for exposure to the asset class ... due to the absence of simpler vehicles that direct ownership. LOL
Tue Dec19 s2 m9 w38 d266 72.88%
0333 : All humans are wired to work hard, in an attempt to die happy. But everyone disagrees on intermediate goals. So be it.
72.88% throught year-1 of sabbatical-2, today. This third quarter has been particularly complicated. Mostly I have been avoiding my own work, and focusing on anthropology ... i.e. being social, with friends and relatives. And lately, in the business community.
It's good to be social, but mostly it makes me sick, not because the people are not nice, but mostly because they are not admirable. I have to balance focusing on my work, and being aware of others.
Well, I suppose ... we are all passing time. Some of us have been working on unachievable goals for twenty years ... others have been spending the same time playing ""dumb ways to die"". Admittedly I find I am more the latter than the former.
How do I fit in with the former? Well, that's why I don't always look like the latter ...
"
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Sab2 week39/52 review
DEETS:
Wed Dec20 s2 m9 w39 d267 73.15%
1106 : Can't wait for the year to be over. Lol. Hopefully far fewer distractions next year ... unlikely as that may be.
2000 : As far as locally produced work goes ... Weil Hotel is in top form. I want to work for Thong Fook Group la .
Thu Dec21 s2 m9 w39 d268 73.42%
1754 : Maybe we should just bucket everyone who wears business suits in the tropics, as ""chads"".
2000 : Housekeeping : doing my best to forget thousands of minutes of high-drama low-value stuff from 4Q23. Gotta get back into shape for 1Q24.
2121 : Off to social chores again.
Fri Dec22 s2 m9 w39 d269 73.7%
0227 : bed. fund at ath-9.6%
1253 : Wake. Feed. Work.
1412 : Non-zero probability these cryptobro psychos are aiming for the xmas2021 price of $50k. Alts moon in that scenario. Cute. I just moved everything to cash, but I should probably put some back.
Sat Dec23 s2 m9 w39 d270 73.97%
1514 : Compassion : literally translates as co-suffering. The only way to do, is to be, which is the deep-end of cultural anthropology. Therefore being weak, and foolish, and emotionally vacuous, are the risks one assumes when one engages in empathy, properly. To do so to a lesser degree, avoids the point.
1628 : So if disinflation is so bad that the Fed cuts rates soon, do equities go up or down? Haha. Saturday musings.
1630 : Let's see if I understand this rightly. There are about 8 million households in Malaysia ( 2023 ). The deciles are labeled B1-B4, M1-M4, T1-T2, so median_M1 is the population median ( 4 million households ) making north of 5,782 MYR/month, 14,904 USD/year, and 400 thousand households make north of the median_T2 ( 25,719 MYR/month, 66,293 USD/year ). Kinda helps put into perspective, where all the nice cars are coming from ... anyway, I think my current monthly income from investment is still in the B3 range ... I was briefly in the B4, but not presently. Alright, game on ... let's play the ladder ... #arbitrarytargets #dumbwaystodie
1726 : Casual fund management yielded about 50% in 2023, but I need to do 140% in 2024. So maybe I need to pay more attention. Fuck, I hate distractions ... but hay gets made while the sun shines.
1745 : How la, need to sustain 0.3% daily ...
1800 : minimum effort kinda day
2107 : Counting down the days till the end of a month of scheduled appointments ... gah ... zzz ...
2202 : In teams, the prior experience of an actor is a lesser concern, than clarity about the role the actor must play in the present, and the consequences to be enacted upon failure to play the role adequately.
2231 : I'm a horribly inefficient investor. Over the last 30 days, on nearly 7000 units of investment activity, I returned 21 units of net appreciation ( probably something like 120 gross units of appreciation, and 100 gross units of depreciation ). Loose and fast figures ... just monitoring for review, and improvement.
2248 : After deprioritising it since 2006, it is now time for me to study bond durations.
Sun Dec24 s2 m9 w39 d271 74.25%
0018 : Was at a business meeting over mamak in Hartamas. It was inspiring to hear about the hard work put into a SaaS over many years, from the founder himself. He was looking to hire affiliate marketers. I said, I would send any suitably interested parties, and I thanked him for his time.
As I left the mamak, and walked down the row, occasional shouts were heard. A burly gentleman brushed by me, and his companion said ""sorry"". I asked if there was a club nearby, as there were so many dressy people. The burly gentleman asked if I wanted to party, invited me to party, and said I was with his party. So I played along. We exchanged names, his started with an A or an E. Perhaps he was on empathogens, perhaps he was just friendly. His friend said, it was just a random night out. We entered the club. I had been there before. The Vault. Too loud. I left.
I like conversations, and I don't like yelling. I love working that scene, as I get to hang out with people I have little in common with. But I do not spend my personal time or money too much where my ears are damaged easily.
Haha. A light, Saturday night, in town.
0500 : reduced loss from ATH-18% to ATH-2%. Bedtime
0937 : Time to grind.
1337 : AVAX 17.7B will now target to flip ADA 22B ... above that is XRP 33B. For context SOL 49B, flipped BNB 40.8B and XRP just this week.
In investment, nothing in valued, except by what someone else is willing to pay for it. That is economics 101.
1517 : Busy, but unproductive day. Pausing personal work. Back to social chores. Looking forward to fewer botherations with friends and family next year.
Mon Dec25 s2 m9 w39 d272 74.52%
0003 : One more huge social chore checked off the list for 2023. See you in
2025 : P
Tue Dec26 s2 m9 w39 d273 74.79%
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Sab2 week40/52 review
DEETS:
Wed Dec27 s2 m10 w40 d274 75.07%
0620 : Hopefully checked off the last sizeable social chore of the year. Just two more priors and I'm done. Can't wait to get back to other priorities.
0700 : Generally, 2023 was a good, but not great year. Way too much time was spent with parties I met before, and too little time was spent with new people.
0732 : Ok. I finally get it ... haute cuisine is for people who cannot cook. Like fashion buying is for people who don't make their own clothes. It took a while, but I finally get it.
2004 : Do the laundry. Cook the rice. Build the spreadsheets. Light the flat. Stress the body.
2030 : did laundry, tidied up, installed new wiper tank pump on the little car. made food and ate it.
2055 : Oops. Administrative timing fuck-up ... don't have time to encash securities to deposit into PRS before EOY. LOL
2131 : Glad that hell month is almost over. Social relations are nice, until they impede your ability to function normally, and thus reduce net happiness. Friends and family are nice, as long as they don't impede one's ability to make money. A quarter of regrets - but that's the cost of maintaining memory. I shall remember to keep dangerous things off my schedule. On we go ...
Thu Dec28 s2 m10 w40 d275 75.34%
1353 : Definitely the worst month all year. Off to meetings.
1933 : I often get complaints from friends and family about things I post on the Internet. My general position is that my relationship with the public is my main social infrastructure, so I talk to the public, they are my people. Individuals have not replaced that role in my life. So you know where you stand, dear public. Haha. Some individuals terminate their relationships with me because I live in public ... but well, such is life. Stick to your people.
Fri Dec29 s2 m10 w40 d276 75.62%
0228 : Half day of rest, and focus on work, before the final four appointment days of the year.
It's hugely troublesome to help people out, and then be scolded for not offering to help them more. Some are able to recognise their limited leverage, and apologise. Others are written off.
I have tagged the ballpark cost of mistakes I made this year at $30,000. Going into the new year, I want to focus only on recuperation of capability, and recovery of costs. I must remind myself to lighten my expenditure on tasks proven to be unthanked by counterparties.
0351 : Portfolio rebalanced. Time to feed. Then sleep. Busy days ahead. 2023 needs to fuck off and die.
1241 : awake.
1400 : December review : nearly impossible to get started on work, since social appointments started the execution train mid-month. Huge backlog. Few more days of socials to deliver on before rebooting. Extremely concerned. Not getting much support from counterparties. Reconsolidating without support. Just focusing on rest and burning time till appointments have passed. Gives one a reason to fit into the trend of new year celebrations, I suppose.
1511 : Time for enforced eating ...
Sat Dec30 s2 m10 w40 d277 75.89%
0903 : Awake early, probably due to stimulants in the blood. Ten hours post administration, so monitoring for crashes over the next six hours.
I often think about how exercise is the baseline activity for hormonal stimulation, which all of us lazy individuals regularly forgo for coffee, sex, booze, etc.
Oh well, the economics of time.
I used to do manual shifts of up to 36 hours ... it's pretty revealing how much performance one can squeeze out of a normal person just by eating more protein, creatine, B vitamins, and caffeine.
Three days till appointments are clear, then I can start focusing on my lack of productivity ...
1445 : Looking forward to closing my accounts for the year, and finding out how negative my cash flow has been. Hahaha.
1622 : Is it just me or has Alexis consistently been a bastion of mediocre ala carte dishes ... for the price, outright poor ...
Sun Dec31 s2 m10 w40 d278 76.16%
0338 : Did some sewing repairs. Thought about the empty space in front of me, ordered but unused. Something needs fixing. The market will decide. Meditating on stressors. Two more days of hell month. Hehehe. I won't die, but I'm certainly going to be traumatised enough to remember all this.
0414 : Ah yes, childhood trauma from people missing appointments.
0500 : Enforced feeding. Meal at 0500. Coffee at 0546. Bunch of protocol issues to resolve. It's going to be a long day.
0611 : One can avoid the class of dimwitted fools only for so long ... before they start to feel sorry for you and try to make you a peer. Perhaps, one gets old, and tired, and capitulates. But probably, it is better to excuse oneself, perhaps politely, if one can muster the patience to be nice.
0857 : Intermittent napping, while on call. Time for a snack.
