A story ...

 ( maybe 1.5 stories )

---

"Some idiot has been messaging me to go to Singapore. Why would I do so now? Is someone paying me upfront? LOL"

"Hahahaaaaaaaa. Is it a scammer? 🤣🤣🤣"

"old friend - the type that might turn up at your home and take a nap naked, and scare your housemates type - I am a very tolerant person, but I am also capitalistic about entertainment"

---

Before I discovered that my inbox had been assaulted by that last barrage of naivete, I was preparing to write down what I was thinking about during lifting today.

But now the memory is lossy. So, I will try to reconstruct it adequately.

I think, most of my life, I have been up to my eyeballs in stupid people. Even just in getting from thinking about it, to writing it down, I can get interrupted by some of the same. It's incredibly, bewilderingly, definitive of my lived experience. I wouldn't know how else to describe it to anyone.

And my sense, is that most people don't feel the same way about others. And, based on what I can tell about other people, most of them do not feel so because they do not in effect see how many people are scratching themselves while eating, fucking, and doing business with others ... just in a somewhat more sophisticated way, such as to be seen as well, adorable.

So we have strata of adorabobbles - broadly construed as virtue signalling, at different levels of society. Meanwhile, as a matter of laziness, I try to avoid most of it, while being careful enough to understand how it works.

So recently, I have been quite successful. I remember being 18 or 19 and lifting weights and thinking, I have better things to do with the limited time I have until my scholarship runs out, so I will do this later. And it was the same for studying maths. And now at 43, I have no more excuses, so I am doing both quite happily, as mundane as the activities are. I have done so many other things since, I started postponing the things I wanted to do. Now all I have is to do them, as I wait to find out when my capacity for these things evaporates with age. And then there will be choices to be made about how to die.

Perhaps. 

---

"Some old friends has changed that they might not be the same person they were, and...you never know. Just saying hahahaha"

"it's true. there was another one, whom i loved. we didn't have a lot in common, but they, being an affectionate type, would occasionally accompany me in trivial settings. once after about ten years of not being in the same country, they were bored, and we fucked. and then they had work to do, and their affections were no longer communicated, and so we have become no longer friends, so so that is how children grow up, and older, into ordinary things that eventually disappear"