The Scariest Part of Each Day

‎Waking‬ up: it takes minutes to recall who I am, an incremental growth in ‪conscious‬ memory, kinesthesia, imagination. From zero, each time.

Perceptions of Spacetime

Life's too short for meandering bullshit. It's not a fucking journey. You're living in the destination. Roll.

Social Erratum

Hey. I need to rescind my request to take you out on a date. Since telling you more about how I view myself, it doesn't sound like you're in a hurry to get this conversation going. My offer to buy you dinner still stands. But I can't afford to retain the priority to think about this any further. The past few years have penalised me heavily for betting on "waffle-y situations," and I really need to cut this short. I'm sorry. This is just me dealing with extremely limited resources. See you around, I guess.

I'll probably regret this in the morning. But... I said it.

"MBTI Level II"-ing

Just eye-balling the dichotomies (and I know this is completely the lazy-maybe-wrong way to do it), I think this is where I end up:

Extraverting	Introverting	Sensing	Intuiting	Thinking	Feeling	Judging	Perceiving
Initiating Expressive Gregarious Active Enthusiastic	Receiving Contained Intimate Reflective Quiet	Concrete Realistic Practical Experiential Traditional	Abstract Imaginative Conceptual Theoretical Original	Logical Reasonable Questioning Critical Tough	Empathetic Compassionate Accommodating Accepting Tender	Systematic Planful Early Starting Scheduled Methodical	Casual Open-ended Prompted Spontaneous Emergent

But I wouldn't be surprised if my formal questionaire produced different results. I also still wonder how they account for differences in work/life personality differences

I often wish I didn't have so much free time to play this game. It's just another genre of lit theory - tools for talking - non-scientific.

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Note on 2014-09-07:

MBTI is often viewed as a 4-tuple of binary (discrete) categories. That's pretty much what they call the level-1 model of MBTI. The level-2 model is a 3-tuple of axial (continuous) categories, which can be leakily abstracted (reduced) to the level-1 model.

Mouth-feel / Body (coffee)

Just a measure of the sticky sensation on the membranes of your mouth cavity / tongue / throat. Due to oils.

Oily soup => more;
plain water => less.

An Ideal Romance

I don't often have time to think about romantic partnerships, but when I do, I seem to idealise a 2-3% daily time commitment with a workaholic who has developed interests which are complimentary, and minimally overlapping, with my own.

2017-08 update.

Antimarketing

J1: why so emo?
J2: too much free time.

(I guess the amount of creative control that I get at this job is quite unnerving.) ‪#‎antimarketing‬

Climate Control

Starting to think of life decisions as microclimate construction. Aesthetics, economics, social networks, all other variables included.

Enforced Speech

I guess I've succeeded in getting my verbosity back up to speed over the past few months. It's a necessary evil - I'd hate to be tending bar without any social stories. Entertainers need content... so here I am. Writing. 

Love, Sex, Romance - ops notes

Got invited to watch a movie, and saw a love story (Despicable Me 2) with some organisers of matchmaking events. Lol. I think I just quietly disposed of two more hours of this droll wait for the current project to be over.

Love, sex, and romance. I view these as a non-essential, and luxurious component of my overall operations. Some thoughts on the drive home are as follows.

1.
There's been one relationship (in the general sense), where

• I've been an open book for years
• I've let her let me in, and push me away at her leisure
• I'm happy to deal with the consequences on my end; ultimately, curiosity shapes my life; assignment of unconditional resources, or top priority, i.e. love, is something that my curiosity deploys
• I really need to just convince myself that I did everything that I could, given what I had to work with, instead of thinking about strategic revisions all the time

This really is how I deal with social relationships of any sort, romantic and otherwise.

2.
There's been this other relationship (in the general sense), where

• we've exchanged notes on priorities
• I'm not sure how much she likes me

and so, I think I need to make the call and figure out

• if we have mutual feelings for each other
• if we have clear ideological conflicts (i.e. abstract disagreements) - early signals for a bad match
• if logistical concerns are unsuitable for the pursuit of a relationship in the near future
• reach a yes / no / maybe-means-no conclusion on this, so that I continue / kill any thoughts about her

This really should be how I fast-track the matching process for exploring romance.

So yeah, up next, making that call.

Touchy Subjects

When all you have in common is touch, losing that touch, means losing a friend. On it goes. Neverending.

War

People who think that you need to love some art in order to be good at it, have clearly never trained against their will. Yawn.

Some of us have little love for life, so it is a constant struggle simply to exist, out of curiosity.

Unhumorous Crimes

There are only so many offensive jokes that one can make, before one ceases pretending to be insane, and owns up to being criminal.

Dune: a cover

I must not be bored.
Boredom is the mind-killer.
Boredom is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my boredom.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the boredom has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.

Drive

Long drive home. Most work I do each day. Maybe time to think harder about that, until it becomes effortless.

Meanwhile, I've pitched a rolling-date to the current client about when I'll go hands-off on the finance/ management/ admin section of the job. Woohoo! Something to look forward to. A decision I'm giving them a week to consider. 

Why Fine Foods & Business

Food is fuel. But business is business, so if a customer can be created that values refined qualities in food, it's the business manager's responsibility to curate that customer and its supply vertical.