2024-01-05 at

What are careers for?

As I was scrubbing some tiles today, I thought ... about the recruitment process, and the glorification of career advancement. I've also noticed this has become a part of grassroots university access efforts like the US applications group I have helped in the past.

There is a strong theme of middle-class enablement. "We're helping you to show rich people, that you're worthy of helping them out!"

But often there is little, or no, emphasis on personal development ... so I think, I would like to remind everyone who works in career development, to always know how any opportunity benefits the candidate, regardless of acceptance from second parties.

Recruiters, know your shit, please.

euthymia

Sometimes it is too much to persuade someone that they have misjudged themselves. A baby step is, persuading someone that they have misjudged other people. This lets them reflect on their capabilities without overloading their personal integrity. Once they have reflected on it, and achieved euthymia, they will be closer to self-awareness of their misjudgments of themselves. Such is hope.

2024-01-04 at

Bad influencers

Who are your bad influences?

By definition, the bad influencers are the people who encourage you to do things you don't agree with. Of course you may change your mind over time, and decide that good is bad, and bad is good.

I have friends who are afraid that they may be bad influencers due to their proclination towards substance dependency. This is not such a big deal to me.

The people who I regard as my worst influencers are the ones who propagate values of social dependency between friends and family, and who view money as an intermediate goal to increase these dependencies. These are the irritating shits I hope to eviscerate from my life, one day. But they are everywhere. So we cooperate.

That is life - you may regard people as bad influencers, but after all we are still friends. 

disagreeability

My dad made a living from helping people, and being likeable. So I acquired many of those skills at a younger age. 

Nevertheless it always seemed too easy, and I've subsequently spent most of my life seeking entertainment from disagreeability.

In business, success depends on likeability. That is, if we define success as likeability.

Obviously I idealise entertainment over success.

2024-01-03 at

TIL : stop-loss order vulnerabilities

Stop at floor, limit sell : risk of flash crash, triggering losses

Stop at floor, limit buy : redundant with limit buy

Stop at ceiling, limit sell : redundant with limit sell

Stop at ceiling, limit buy : risk of flash spike, triggering losses

QED : stop-limit orders are vulnerable to manipulation, under fair market conditions, let alone situations where insider trading reveals the orders to the house's market makers.

2024-01-01 at

2024 kick-off : issues

The gym shall henceforth be named the failure room. Haha.

Generally, I don't make new year resolutions - I only work on current problems. Here are a few current failure modes I am working on turning around.

- weights : I can't shoulder press 90lbs from a dead stop, without using my legs
- asset allocation: I can't make 20k in a day without losing 75% of it within two weeks
- credit administration : I can't lend 8k, without seeing a default
- social work : I can't maintain optimal conditions for my non-social work, and please current social partners

I was also reviewing a corporate error I made in 2015. I was leading a high-risk business launch when two thirds of the executive partners dropped out and decided to take up passive roles instead. I focused on operations and had to clean up an administrative mess after operations had been scaled up. In the future I must first hire a CAO before GTM.

Yawn : Sabbatical 2 : Quarter 3

 "


Sab2 week27/52 review

DEETS: wedding noises










Sun Oct1 s2 m7 w27 d187 51.23%


0118 : Done with the bulk of wedding falala. Back to my usual programming ... 


0426 : to bed


1324 : Awake. Enforced feeding I guess, then work.


Mon Oct2 s2 m7 w27 d188 51.51%


1208 : Feeding. Housekeeping. Networking. Study. Off we go ...


Tue Oct3 s2 m7 w27 d189 51.78%


0352 : yesterday was sorta all housekeeping and rest, plus a bit of social work, and a smidgen of desk 


0435 : bed 


1336 : Feed check. Then work.


Glomped starches : 100g -> 150g per meal ... hopefully reducing meals but maintaining a moderate protein digestion rate.


1923 : Checks :

- glucose, salts, fats, protein, fibre, micros

- vasomotor balance, conscious latency, autonomous breath rate

- cleanliness, sociability, bankability


need to review and tidy up the list


"

"


Sab2 week28/52 review

DEETS: semi-social, semi-study week, tending to partners


Wed Oct4 s2 m7 w28 d190 52.05%


1742 : Since high-school I've had one intellectual interest, to show that human experience is uncomplicated and simple. Most people believe that human software is complicated. I don't think so ... I think the software-ish ""parts"" of our cognitive apparatus are fairly straightforward, but the hardware-ish ""parts"", the implementations in atoms and molecules are actually quite complicated relative to the abstract information processing. So twenty-plus years later, I still think that's the case.


I think if we can show that people are simple it would have many commercial side effects,but those are not the point. I think that everyone is generally more focused on the commercial side, on how to save money, and improve economies of scale - all that's nice but that is not really intellectually interesting. I just want to show people that being human isn't special.


The cultured human brain remains unconquered in terms of intelligence per Watt. We'll see how long this remains to be!


Thu Oct5 s2 m7 w28 d191 52.33%


0437 : I need to tighten up my protocols for acute (allergic / vasomotor) rhinitis. It took about 12 hours, three meals, and a nap to get over today's bout.


Test : 

- wash / groom

- 25g protein

- minimum 30-minute nap

- repeat on 3-hourly cycles


Maybe I can get this down to one or two cycles. But then, without more comprehensive testing, it's hard to say if one builds resistance after a few closely occuring bouts, or if one simply gets intuitively averse to the agonist/stimulant. 


0439 : Shitty half-day spent ill and tending to complaints. Need to improve productivity.


1427 : Protein is helping. Rhinitis abated. Muscles ache all over from being rearranged at the molecular level. Body building is strange.


1513 : meal1 done 


2116 : Dalam istilah penggambaran autisme, terdapat pula Teori Empati Sesama - iaitu, antara kebudayaan pelbagai golongan, tiada satu yang dianggap piawai atau berketuanan. Lagipun kita memerhatikan fakta ini : pelbagai golongan tidak dapat memahami antara satu sama lain dengan yang lain tanpa pembelanjaan khas tenaga. Frasa yang saya agak minat, dari perbualan perjodohan saya sendiri : kita tidak sejiwa, tapi kita ada persefahaman. Kebarangkalian bukan sifar : ciri-ciri pengendalian ketamadunan am akan menerangkan pengendalikan sifat autisme.


2325 : Well, with the ongoing-FML ... I think the next few study days or weeks will regard the linguistics of computer programs, and related software.


Fri Oct6 s2 m7 w28 d192 52.6%


0354 : Social bonding : sometimes everyone is too tired to do much more than just collapse into a pile and imprint on one another.


0519 : Spent an hour cleaning up spilt noodles and a burnt wrist. A nice change of pace. Back to the Chomsky hierarchy in the afternoon, I guess. Time to brush my teeth and get a nap.


1527 : Meal1 done. Bumped up protein by another 50%, so gonna space out the EAA supplementation into two doses per meal over the next hour or so. I'm still fudging the math - more care required.I'm still not running autonomic nervous system checks often enough - so I think, ambient noise in the buffers is still an addressable issue.


On to reading linguistics.


1834 : way too many distractions this week. Revising food intake, and doing more research on socially discussed subjects.


1840 : Shy people are generally irritating brakes, but empathy demands we regard them not as intrinsically flawed, but as a variety of the cursed, and hence redeemable entities.


2049 : A few straggling distractions from last week. 


Looks like the next week will be full of chores also. Many chores undone this week.


2226 : 52% of the year gone. Maybe I should prepare for a second year off. ( done )


Sat Oct7 s2 m7 w28 d193 52.88%


1247 : Awake. Reviewing commitments. Somewhat anxious about structure, so perhaps streamlining soon. Maybe I just need to do my chores.


Sun Oct8 s2 m7 w28 d194 53.15%


1848 : Ok, so hypertrophy causes neural refactoring, which presents to the user as numbness and soreness. Therefore, neurotrophic agents help to maintain proprioception on hypertrophic campaigns.


Mon Oct9 s2 m7 w28 d195 53.42%


0949 : Week begins. Cleanup time.


Tue Oct10 s2 m7 w28 d196 53.7%


1700 : The tactic of eating large meals followed by an insulin crash, may need to be paired with a splitting of sleep into shorter segements. For example, instead of a 10-hour block, it could be a 9-hour block, followed by food prep and cleanup for 1-hour, followed by the tenth hour of ""sleep"", in the form of lounging.


"

"


Sab2 week29/52 review

DEETS: endocrinology, and more procrastination, and study of how they are related


Wed Oct11 s2 m7 w29 d197 53.97%


0557 : waiting for meta to recombine ig, threads, and FB UIs 


0700 : Strategy review :


- error, ingesting fish oil without other fats ; synchronise with tofu ration


- obtain pill-cutter to divide multivitamins into 3 - 4 subdoses daily


- drill into neural / conscious information processing recovery factors ( still a relatively foggy subject, following strenuous exercise or alcohol / other psychotropic depressant ingestion ; it could be that endurance drills are all that are needed to moderate inflammation and anoxia )


- stock-in azelastine for emergencies


- design more tests, read more broadly


- maybe I just need to do more aerobics


Strategy review :


- error, ingesting fish oil without other fats ; synchronise with tofu ration


- obtain pill-cutter to divide multivitamins into 3 - 4 subdoses daily


- drill into neural / conscious information processing recovery factors ( still a relatively foggy subject, following strenuous exercise or alcohol / other psychotropic depressant ingestion ; it could be that endurance drills are all that are needed to moderate inflammation and anoxia )


- stock-in azelastine for emergencies


- design more tests, read more broadly


1551 : Quantity survey of lepaking : in the grand tradition of middle-class Malaysians, my natural habitats include the shopping mall. From where I currently live, it's a seven kilometres drive to the nearest shiny place ( cost : MYR ( 5.60 round-trip + 3 / hour ) ). So two hours per day comes to 4,234 MYR per year. I can get that down to 600 MYR by moving to an apartment directly connected by train. Note for further optimisation.


Thu Oct12 s2 m7 w29 d198 54.25%


Fri Oct13 s2 m7 w29 d199 54.52%


1530 : did 70 minutes of vacuuming - forgot my protection, so I'm partially deaf again :P


1704 : It's a week full of chores, and operational review. Today I am thinking about key events which have slowed me down in my professional life over the last twenty-years, and I am reviewing policy for how tolerate I should be about such counterparties in the future. 


1800 : someone needs to set up an Instagram called

@4am_lonelee_kongkek_lottery

to showcase all those odd texts


2019 : When I first began modelling the quantification of conscious memory, about 20 years ago, I began by segmenting data by gross modality ... aural, visual, somatosensory, etc. and I made gross comparisons between the quantities of each modal segment in memory, in terms of ratios.


Following up on that work, after all this time, having hardly touched it - I find it is appropriate to sub-segment the aural and visual data based on what I want to be thinking about. For example, grossly there may be a 1:1:3 ratio of the three named sense modalities' data in my conscious memory at the present. However drilling into the aural and visual segments only, I might find that what data is there (what is consciously appraised) is not what I want to be thinking about. 


So even without modifying the ratio between segments, but retaining an acknowledgement of the distinction between segments, and their ratios ... I can improve my focus on specific aural and visual structures ( for example, a text to be studied, or a set of work to be done ), by actively managing the contents of the buffers holding data of those segments only.


Hm


Sat Oct14 s2 m7 w29 d200 54.79%


1820 : Pre-swim warm-up : if air-conditioning causes body temperature to drop, turn off the air-conditioning to raise body temperature.


2132 : I think a recreational swim ... which in my case, involves diving for trash ... is an excellent specialised aerobic exercise, in that it almost has no major strain on any musculoskeletal system, but just forces you to focus on anoxia and respiration. I don't know. Maybe I'm taking it too easily - but since I have my other bases covered ... weights for higher resistance, running for tactical resistance, maybe this is where swimming fits into my schedule.


Sun Oct15 s2 m7 w29 d201 55.07% 


0304 : 20 years ago, my friend found it odd that I would schedule ""a day for thinking,"" to sort out my memory. Recently I find I might be inadvertantly spending ""a week for thinking,"" here and there. I guess I'll chalk it up to twenty years of studying unstructured subjects without the benefit of pre-digested curriculum. It is what it is - we make these choices. 


0500 : Sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems, memory control, hormonal activation. Analyse later


1333 : Awake. Checked inboxes. Enforced washing and feeding. Then I need to jot down notes for a model of endocrinology.


I need to map out a matrix of signalling molecules x stimulants x effects.


//


Initial tear down of the past fornight's lethargy :


- rhinitis : reaction : conscious reduction of breath depth and rate


- generally robust loading of creatine and carnosine : higher energy dependence on anaerobic energy stores rather than aerobic ... increases tolerance of low oxygen intake


- lower blood oxygen : stemming from low rate of active breathing ... I'll need to get an oxymeter at some point for data capture, more so if I'm going to be training for free diving


1437 : GnRH agonists : Bookmarking the option of chemical castration for optimisation for work :P Turns out this is pretty important - because ... sigh ... cognitive efficiency depends on somatic efficiency, and somatic efficiency is just completely tied up with sex. No choice but to horn-dawg the shit out of this study ... ""The core product of any executive is their cognitive and social output a the workplace. All that brain work depends on how bodies are managed. Bodies come with legacy systems that have no immediate use at work ... but do we manage those legacies actively?


"" 


1543 : Important : arrhythmias vs heart-rate variability / HRV 


2016 : over the course of the day's readings, I've reminded myself to breath actively, and it's fixed my lack of focus stemming from trained shallowness of breath. Particularly, long inhalation followed by short exhalations are helping ... I am wondering what the neural or hydraulic feedback mechanisms are. There's a lot of folk literature on short inhalations followed by long exhalations being used as therapy for the vague nerve - but that doesn't say much about the opposite pattern.


Mon Oct16 s2 m7 w29 d202 55.34%


1306 : Recent lack of focus fixed by accentuating inhalations. Actually I don't know if it's increased B12 dosing that's helping - or if it's both. Hypertrophy sorta month. On with work.


1855 : Hard data on nutrition/RM :


RM 14.00 : two plates rice, hunk of steamed fish, green vegetables, chicken curry, vegetarian mix

< winner


RM 13.90 : one cup Llaollao brand sweetened froyo, covered in junk food sauce

< loser


RM 7.98 : 400g kailan fresh

< chicken dinner


2321 : It turns out that potassium chloride pairs really well with chocolate ice cream. But then again - we also have NaCl and burnt walnuts in here, so ... IDK


//


Microwaving a handful of nuts before service greatly improves their (culinary) aromaticity. This is particularly useful for unevenly toasted batches ( f u c k i n g c a s h e w g e o m e t r y - first time, I swear ).


Tue Oct17 s2 m7 w29 d203 55.62%


0522 : sabbatical 2, year 1, 55.62% today ... while I have been struggling with memory management for a couple of weeks, I think PTSD from loud noises has been distracting me. So I just have to identify those events, and detach the trauma, so I can get back to grinding on the same :P 


1900 : Found another memory management bug. I've been blocking writes from my second-to-second memory, to my minute-to-minute memory. ( Gross abstraction. ) So I end up spending too much energy repressing what I see in the current environment - this needs to be studiously undone on a regular basis. It's only useful after there is saturation of the mid-term buffers, and if short-term writes to the mid-term are failing due to such saturation. // so much noradrenaline stuff to study, ugh


"

"


Sab2 week30/52 review

DEETS: optimisations to relationships, daily schedule, maybe food also


Wed Oct18 s2 m7 w30 d204 55.89%


0012 : Following today's second feeding - I am still exercising the conscious transfer of second-to-second sensory memories to minute-to-minute buffers. An observation : flipping the second-to-second and minute-to-minute buffers at a high velocity, raises dopamine ... or so it seems from how my subconscious instincts proceed from there. Still monitoring. 


0033 : Or it's just the artificial daylight systems. IDK man ... 


0046 : GANE model helps explain why protein helps me dream ... and the relationship between noradrenaline, and acetylcholine during non-REM and REM sleep, is enlightening. 


0111 : Why the fuck didn't they teach us in school, that noradrenaline is heavily involved in the neurology of learning, such that if we want to get better at learning, we have to get better and controlling our noradrenegic activities?


Maybe it's because they didn't know it, and we're still not sure how it works. But it's a fascinating area of research, nonetheless.


0257 : Very concerned about many of my friends, but not really able to help beyond what is allowed.


Some people will adopt a stance of ordering others to change their preferences and behaviours, but I think that's not the sort of violence I'm into. I'm violent enough to share my opinions, but that's about it lol.


Well, as the wind blows ...


0428 : tidied up stuff from interrupted business - ah, it's good to keep things tidy 


0513 : Perhaps I should be harsher on learners. 🤔 But today could also be the day we die, so it is generally cool to save some energy just in case one has to celebrate.


1200 : 56% of sab2year1 today. Awake. Less burdened for now. May become more burdened later. 


Maintaining focus on efficiency concerns. Enforced grooming, feeding, and study. Maybe still on endocrinology.


1545 : Notes : acetylcholine associates with the diversity and resolution of aesthetic imagination; dopamine associates with the diversity and prioritisation of the subsequent temporal dimension ... contributing in particular, after five minutes to longer-term memory commitments; noradrenaline just makes you hot and bothered about what's in the short-term aesthetic memory. 


1600 : Who would have thought that the Malaysian with the highest global tit-count in history, on social media, would be Tony ...


( completely in-character, really )


Say no to body-shaming. Free the nipple. 


2359 : Good day catching up with old friends, and making new ones. No eggshells to tread on ...


Thu Oct19 s2 m7 w30 d205 56.16%


0202 : Work is a subset of social life.


I try to keep my social life transparent. I find most people to be foolish, but I leave most of them alone. Folks who hang out with me, get to hear it more. It's a pretty straightforward way of keeping fools out of my orbit. Open door policy mostly - I have very few people on my blocklist. The blocklist tends to be people who send repeat requests after denials I suppose.


0224 : Typically the Fed raises rates too late, and stops raising them too late also. I'm guessing that we'll see the Fed side-eye at least one month of sub-2% nominal inflation before implementing any cuts ... by the time cuts take effect, we might even be in nominally deflationary territory. All eyes are on global real estate at this point. Ukraine's a drag. Jewlestine's just a blip ( financially ). 


1640 : Rested, muchly. Not yet productive. Second week of optimisations.


1807 : Justs realised Interstellar is a riff on 2001.


And that 2001 was made in 1968.


lol


1811 : adding vinegar to rice reduces my demand for kim chi and diet soda, i guess it's all about the acidity 


2134 : periodic clearing of email 


2205 : tidied up monthly chore calendar


1


Fri Oct20 s2 m7 w30 d206 56.44%


0021 : Hm. Traced part of this mild depression to an excessive procrastination of objective oriented operations. Well. I'll just chalk it up to being socially responsible. Fixing the backlog now. 🙃


0522 : checked out NSK Selayang again. 13.5 hours up. an early sleep 


1338 : up


1408 : Today we study sleep. Exercise exhaustion probably helpful with N3


1523 : Maybe the only reason I remember more dreams in the later hours of sleep, is because my cortisol levels are higher


5234 : Endocrinology is similar to political-economics in complexity.


Sat Oct21 s2 m7 w30 d207 56.71%


0600 : refreshed myself on Intel and AMD products for the first time in years


Sun Oct22 s2 m7 w30 d208 56.99%


0429 : It's been a difficult fortnight. But the weather has been nice - all grey and drizzly. I'm literally lighting candles to it. I am grateful for friends who remain close, regardless of whether we want to understand each other or not.Between 0400 and 0500 on a Sunday morning, is a good time to study the acoustic modality ... the world is largely, quiet.


Mon Oct23 s2 m7 w30 d209 57.26%


1156 : Awake. Enforced feeding, then I should really clean that old flat.


1634 : Cleaning construction defects from an old flat ... these errors must have been made in the 90s!


2335 : Back to computing studies, in the fourth quarter of the day.


Tue Oct24 s2 m7 w30 d210 57.53%


0236 : scheduled sleep, an hour late 


1120 : up, somewhere about 8.5 hours I see. 


1328 : Writhing in mediocrity for a few weeks. Back to cleaning.


"

"


Sab2 week31/52 review

DEETS: relationship adventures and adjustments, mostly; and plaster and paint levelling studies


Wed Oct25 s2 m7 w31 d211 57.81%


0134 : probably to bed by 0200 in attempted compliance with the daily model 


1000 : up, following two hydrations around 0800


Thu Oct26 s2 m7 w31 d212 58.08%


1134 : As time progresses, information systems will be integrated further. The further along we continue on the current track of meat and AI, the closer most of the world we live in will become a monolithic robot ... with some meaty parts, and some machine parts. This is the obvious future for people who understand these things. We like to make fun of the dinosaurs by looking at the chickens that remain. What do you think will remain of the human genome? Will childhood last longer? Will artificial wombs allow for gestation to last longer? Very curious.


Meanwhile, we make the most of our little lives with the meat we live in and around. These are the temporary distractions that will last our entire lives.


1212 : Up slightly later today. I still don't know how to do social life. I ran out of time to experiment years ago, after allocating most of my attention to work. I'm grateful for the people who flutter in and out of my atmosphere. More painting and wall scrubbing, shortly ...


1400 : Domain of study today : reduced kinesthetic resolution, normal functionality in optic and acoustic modalities. 


1. Hormonal causes : acetylcholine up? serotonine up? cortisol down? which epinephrine where? testosterone and estradiol? Other? Oxytocin and vasopressin?


2. How to fix : we know muscling at maximum resistance helps - how? What else helps?


1758 : Wow, I hadn't sold any crypto in 2 months.


Fri Oct27 s2 m8 w31 d213 58.36%


0209 : A large chunk of society, still depends on empathy. Members of this population tend to align with the notion that empathy defines the good. Unfortunately not all of us depend on empathy, and so not all of us are aligned with that notion. What results is simply a culture war. Once more, some believe that wars are good, and others that wars are evil ... which is how the arguments for and against wars, are spun. And so go the arguments for and against relationships in general, i.e. business.


0302 : Following the implementation of the daily schedule by waking quarters, I am able to compare quarters for variations in information processing sensitivity. Right now I'm just looking at dopamine's and prolactin's interrelated effects on data processing from sensory nerves to the CNS. IDK ... this seems like a deep, dark, dive ...


0320 : 2.3 hours late to bed 


0930 : up, that's six-ish hours ...


Sat Oct28 s2 m8 w31 d214 58.63%


0115 : actual sleep. 


1047 : up


Sun Oct29 s2 m8 w31 d215 58.9%


0930 : Woah, 13-hour party ... so after tidying up, and putting everyone to bed, it is actually time to go out for Sunday networking over coffees.


What a year.


I probably haven't sighted this much dick since the King's Island locker room in 1991/2.


Gonna get little naps between meetings.


Overall, enjoyed the escort role. Nothing too risque happened, relevant parties satisfied. Got told by hostess to not do the dishes, of course, haha. Hope I didn't overly annoy anyone.


1546 : 28 hour shift so far. Nice. Didn't die. Time to put myself to bed with some help.


Mon Oct30 s2 m8 w31 d216 59.18%


0845 : up. 


0948 : reflecting while a friend takes an exam


Tue Oct31 s2 m8 w31 d217 59.45%


0222 : Forgotten gem from the weekend : ""I'm sapiosexual. You know, it means the less interested a person is, the more I want them."" 


0334 : late to bed 


0840 : up


"

"


Sab2 week32/52 review

DEETS:


Wed Nov1 s2 m8 w32 d218 59.73%


0256 : late to bed. bunch of reading on drugs. hopefully a productive day in the morning 


0930 : up at the alarm 


1020 : out of bed 


1525 : geography of puncak Perdana, and it's surrounding townships


Thu Nov2 s2 m8 w32 d219 60%


Fri Nov3 s2 m8 w32 d220 60.27%


1530 : business development meetings 


1802 : Austerity is on-track !! But could be better : 3Q2023, Student's Credit Card Payments + Cash Spent : RM 10,521.98


Sat Nov4 s2 m8 w32 d221 60.55%


1331 : We love those we can, until there is no way to love them more. Then we send them on their way to others who can.


1650 : Good news today, was I tracked down another 1k of -CF from 3Q2023, and found it was a loan. So, opex was even lower, like 3k/month average. Nice.


2249 : Piss poor evening, resulting from bad decisions. Drive around town looking for a coke dealer. Ended up ordering online. Jammed as fuck streets. 


Thanks to Ben's Grocer Publika for the solution. Lol. Never again.At least some geography got done. 


2335 : Right now I would rather be dead. That's a good thing, because most of October has been particularly mediocre. The end of tolerance for such middling is probably a good sign. At least now there's some fury to drive performance. It is less boring to be angry, than to be satisfied with one's environment.


Sun Nov5 s2 m8 w32 d222 60.82%


0021 : So I have this one friend who said we shouldn't be friends anymore because we have different values about friendship ... to them, friends are issues of loyalty, and to me friends are issues of convenience ... I agree with their appreciation of our different views by the way.


The amusing thing was they then said that while friendships was off the table, romps in bed would be feasible - so now I'm thinking, given my standing in the economy as an unemployed person, maybe it's time to register as a baby on Sugarbook. 


LOL


I'm not sure if I really want to think about this. I just want to get back to my huge backlog of work.


0050 : I realised that with some of my conversational partners, I don't think of their bodies, unless I think of their bodies being with someone else. Then I miss their bodies. Not saying it's a good or bad thing - just making a technical observation about how my brain has been working. 


0150 : soon to bed. late, was supposed to be 2320. serotonin seems low today 


1120 : Tinder seems to have significantly cleaned up its bots of late.


Mon Nov6 s2 m8 w32 d223 61.1%


Tue Nov7 s2 m8 w32 d224 61.37%


0059 : A very interesting quirk about sabbatical2 so far, has been the amount of relationship drama I've had to work on. Oh well, as long as the portfolio is on a positive trajectory, I suppose work is work.


1216 : Asset Allocation is at 26% cash ... cuts into upside, but WTH, such volatile underliers.


"

"


Sab2 week33/52 review

DEETS:


Wed Nov8 s2 m8 w33 d225 61.64%


1553 : I think it's time for me to track my asset allocations across the entire portfolio. Family office of one ...


Thu Nov9 s2 m8 w33 d226 61.92%


Fri Nov10 s2 m8 w33 d227 62.19%


0827 : Sell the news? Too late.


1633 : The dumb thing about not caring too much about money, is that I have to stare at a big number for a really long time before I can remember what it's good for. Oh well, the trivial concerns of a diversified brain.


1826 : I still don't know how to quickly execute paint on plaster. Need to read up on cellulose.


Sat Nov11 s2 m8 w33 d228 62.47%


0351 : Diversified from two to three tickers.


0928 : Today is the day I experience paint primer.


Sun Nov12 s2 m8 w33 d229 62.74%


1154 : May you find joy in your work, today.


1227 : Does anyone in my network work with drug enforcement and social outreach in Malaysia? I've been studying endocrinology, and I'm interested to learn about policy and enforcement operations here.


Mon Nov13 s2 m8 w33 d230 63.01%


0406 : Heavy sigh. Studies interrupted once again ... this time by the crypto bull market. Make hay while the sun shines, wtf.


Tue Nov14 s2 m8 w33 d231 63.29%


1015 : Asset Allocation today : 100% cash going into inflation news. CPI beats forecasts by 0.1%. HODL


"

"


Sab2 week34/52 review

DEETS: largely social work, and painting


Wed Nov15 s2 m8 w34 d232 63.56%


Thu Nov16 s2 m8 w34 d233 63.84%


1224 : Feeling cute. Might switch up my dating bio too ""Househusband material. But you're going to have to convince me,"" for a few months to see if anyone bites.


2040 : Caught up with another friend stuck in a business deal without a stamped contract. Guys ... FFS ... stop trusting twerps, and get your contracts stamped!


2154 : Will Russia reveal a sophisticated pivot in 2024?


Fri Nov17 s2 m8 w34 d234 64.11%


0014 : I face too many intellectual challenges. So the challengers must take turns on my feeble brain. Trading crypto. Painting a flat. Physical conditioning. The study of computers. My friends and their relationships, sometimes our relationships.


1224 : From a discussion on politics and moral compasses : I mean, I naturally have empathy etc. and awareness of social pressures. But my POLICY is to prefer moral agnosticism. So I regularly train myself to prepare for any outcome, no matter how shocking to my neighbours.


Sat Nov18 s2 m8 w34 d235 64.38%


0011 : Met a few lady CEOs over the years - generally conservative types. I tend to dial up the complexity of chit-chat to like 9 just to see if this is someone I'd want to work with ... but I should probably stop doing that. Scares the living daylights out of people who are looking for life partners. Not sure if I'm doing it wrong. I'm probably doing it wrong. But that's ok ... I guess ... funnels are funnels ... and time is always short, somehow ...


1223 : c-fund : 10% down from ATH ; about 39% in cash ... definitely not as conservative as I should have been.


1602 : trendy cuck fantasies : Oh, I've seen this ... walked in, smiled, and walked out to avoid being a distraction ... you can call me a cuck if you like, but I don't really feel a sense of humiliation ... rather I'm amused when my partner is happy. I don't really care who's making them happy. Lol 


1605 : sprawled on my bed, enjoying a quiet day 


2040 : 2023 has probably been my most active social life year since 2001. -_-


Sun Nov19 s2 m8 w34 d236 64.66%


1050 : pay bills kinda day 


1900 : 祝你所需要你的人

- the matchmaking diaries


Mon Nov20 s2 m8 w34 d237 64.93%


1032 : NRIC : ""tiada ugama"" : I just met someone who managed to set this at JPN. I'm going to have to find out how to do it!


1156 : ATH-4.6%, cash0%, rebalanced


1412 : I think I am finally done with plastering. Time to vacc and touch up the paint.


1818 : A quiet period. Some solitary meditation is appropriate, as there has been a lot of external work of late.


Tue Nov21 s2 m8 w34 d238 65.21%


0100 : You know what I hate about Malaysian startup founders?


Glorification of the small. It's fucking pathetic.


Can't blame them though. It's truly Malaysian style ...


0620 : Half multivit before bed. Awake early. Should test this repeatedly.


1921:bTC : dump time


"

"


Sab2 week35/52 review

DEETS: bridged a lot of networks


Wed Nov22 s2 m8 w35 d239 65.48%


0926 : ath-14%,c0%, asset allocation error OR profit taking error


0940 : Awake. Nutrition. Meditation on quantities. Grind.


1330 : I've recently been working on the case of an adult child. There are various ways to deal with trauma. Sometimes one needs to simply avoid asking for and accepting hand-outs, as an artificial forcing factor to motivate oneself to satisfy oneself.


I find that I have limited my budget of respect for people who cannot step away from their religion, their family, their friends, the law, the option of death, and yet find a way to be happy. I find them disgusting. But then, that is just my religion - and my religion does not allow me to take myself too seriously.


1625 : Back from networking. Time to flush memory.


1709 : Thinking about sleeping faster.


Thu Nov23 s2 m8 w35 d240 65.75%


0905 : I'm not very clever. I must improve.


And the greatest danger to improvement is, hanging out with people who tell me that I am cleverer than they are.


1445 : So in my first year of studying crypto markets, my portfolio grew large enough to offset the cost of my mortgages. Hopefully by the end of the second year, it hasn't regressed - further hopefully, it grow should offset whatever assets I have to liquidate for living expenses. But that is a bit optimistic. Isn't it? 


1846 : I like how you can completely unnecessarily troll a person in one building, then leave a trigger note in a different building where they're habitually situated, then have them come waltzing around with an ""I told you so,"" when they find it.


2317 : Steven Pressfield writes that an amateur thinks he has to get rid of fear before working, a professional never tries and only works on how to deal with fear tactically. OK - I guess I spent that $15,000 in 2012 for nothing. Haha.


Fri Nov24 s2 m8 w35 d241 66.03%


1535 : Selling down. Too many things to worry about.


Sat Nov25 s2 m8 w35 d242 66.3%


Sun Nov26 s2 m8 w35 d243 66.58%


0124 : Saturday night. I've got feeds coming in from parties, insomniac artists, and casual therapists ... while I do laundry and sew a monitor case. Fun life. It's pretty simple.


Mon Nov27 s2 m9 w35 d244 66.85%


0658 : A short sleep. Still on standby. Off to paint in a bit, I suppose. But first, food. 


1036 : Alright. Painting is almost done.


1154 : Let me see how many meetings i can set up between now and 6pm lol


1531 : Napped. Still stressed. time to feed


Tue Nov28 s2 m9 w35 d245 67.12%


1418 : Awake. Feeding. Review of positions. Time to lose money. And it is also time to get back to the construction site.


1746 : done with some medium sized consumer durable purchases. fund at ATH-14%, 0%-cash. ugh. 


1821 : 67.12% done with the first year of this sabbatical. If work is too slow, I might take a second year. Meanwhile learnings have been only slightly positive. Cash flow has been slightly negative. But social life has been quite enriching. I look forward to improvements in business.


"

"


Sab2 week36/52 review

DEETS: more social work, cleaning the flat, and studying markets - BAU


Wed Nov29 s2 m9 w36 d246 67.4%


0320 : late to bed 


1208 : Wake. Feed. Work.


2243 : In my lifetime, KL made the transition from 2D neighbourhood layouts, to 3D. Hence there are so many more names to remember now.


Thu Nov30 s2 m9 w36 d247 67.67%


0922 : Awake. Feed. Clean. Work.


1100 : Focusing on one major distraction at a time.


1129 : Apparently the SPE is deserted because it's not yet on Google Maps. LOL


Fri Dec1 s2 m9 w36 d248 67.95%


2351 : Extremely busy year. But not really the money kind. Haven't had an extremely busy money year ... since 2015.


Sat Dec2 s2 m9 w36 d249 68.22%


1948 : ok - who else is thinking of going short equities in 1Q24 ? talk to meee


2248 : Social choring. Drove to Ipoh and back. Various networking things. Surveyed Tsutaya and Seibu.


Rebalanced asset allocation of portfolio.


Darning a sock ... then time to cook instant noodles for dinner.


2307 : Explained to my doctor friend how YTL / Sentul Depot has consistently been an irresponsible corporate citizen with regards to noise pollution, for the past 18 months at least, whereas no one is currently free enough to take a stick to it. LOL


2340 : Super trendy right now : the current nature of AI, and its future impact on global economics.


Look ... the end-game is a massive impact. But the current state of the art is rather primitive. I've wholly believed that humans are trivial since figuring out how to quantify human experience in the early noughties - I've also generally avoided discussing it for the most part, since no one really needs another opinion on this. I know it's a laughable position - I've been laughing and most people, for most of my life, I'm just too polite to make it obvious to them.


Sun Dec3 s2 m9 w36 d250 68.49%


1226 : Post mistakes : hereby what I am going to call all my expensive fuck-ups.


Mon Dec4 s2 m9 w36 d251 68.77%


1127 : recalibration : I need to get back into the mindset that MYR 10 is a lot, and I shouldn't be dropping it all over.


Tue Dec5 s2 m9 w36 d252 69.04%


1115 : Awake. Rebalance portfolio. Feed. Fix walls.


1447 : The steps to install ceiling boards are

1. measuring

2. scoring

3. snapping

4. sealing

5. painting

6. positioning


1821 : TIL the honey badger and wolverine are in the same family. That explains a lot.


"

"


Sab2 week37/52 review

DEETS:


Wed Dec6 s2 m9 w37 d253 69.32%


Thu Dec7 s2 m9 w37 d254 69.59%


0614 : 4Q2023 is just exhausting.


0712 : (1) Anyone working in C2C apparel resale, or upcycling?


(2) Anyone working on ""mobile apps for organisation"" that limit phone capability Example : school mode, locks down available features when user sets status to ""at school"". Work mode, locks down available features when user sets status to ""at work"" ( yes I know, Apple and Google both offer workplace controls for this, but I'm curious if anyone is developing software in this exact space )


1056 : I think I surround myself with too many grumpy people. It's not they're particularly grumpy people, but rather that I have a limited supply of emotional labour, so I have to price it rather high. Oh well. I need to improve my portfolio management. LOL


1459 : Awake, after a busy week. Time to feed, network, and work.


Fri Dec8 s2 m9 w37 d255 69.86%


1120 : Fantastic. More social distractions. The rest of 2023 seems like a bit of a write-off at this point.


1535 : Time for breakfast. And research into cleaning tiles.


Sat Dec9 s2 m9 w37 d256 70.14%


1750 : / Reviewing management consulting / 


As much as I admire the nature of the professional, I've never been able to take it too seriously. I mean, I giggle my way through the interview process.


As much as long hours and wet work are the brand of F&B, the consulting industry is branded as a place where rich plebs get help from willing servants of various qualities.


I should probably think carefully at some point, about how to articulate the sort of work I'd like to do in this field, before getting into it properly - that is, if I ever do.


2243 : Defensive positions.


2341 : Back to work on cleaning the flat ... tiles tiles tiles ...


Sun Dec10 s2 m9 w37 d257 70.41%


0044 : Crazy Rich Asians, and the ""year of Asian representation"". Well, you get representation, but you're still the clown. That's why it wasn't Crazy Rich White Folks. Let's see if we see equality before I'm dead. I'm not betting on it. But you know, dynasties have been known to fall in a flash.


0344 : Busy decade / year / quarter / month / fortnight / week / day / hour.


Kept tabs on friends, and found them to be happy. Bed time.


1607 : Tomorrow is acid wash day.


1858 : Next investment objective : raise earnings from 3.7kpmo to 4.5kpmo


1933 : Tis the season for reminiscing funny stories about MyTeksi.


Mon Dec11 s2 m9 w37 d258 70.68%


0107 : I put myself to bed, looking forward to new work in the morning. The bed I sleep on is used, yet masked with $2 fragrance oil of ""wild orchids"". The friends I talk to, do many things, new and old. Some are missing. Some are here, in my head. I review our collective motivations and we are lost, and scattered. I remain motivated by the triviality of men, women, and others. I will obliterate hope. I will struggle as needed to disappear the passions of all around me. I am going to sleep. This was my meditation for the minutes preceding. I live, unfortunately, so the game continues.


1303 : Rise, wash, feed, pour acid on floors, adjust portfolios, organise home, clean, clean, clean, tidy ... etc.


Tue Dec12 s2 m9 w37 d259 70.96%


0315 : bed 


0941 : Next targets 5k and 6k, 19 days to go. Off to get a water jet


1922 : Teh o, vadai, myr 3.30. 


This is the way ...


"

"


Sab2 week38/52 review

DEETS:


Wed Dec13 s2 m9 w38 d260 71.23% 


0153 : Yesterday was a good day. Up then down about 1.2kpmo, due to poor risk management and waffling. So investments were neutral.


- tested water jet ; jet failed

- executed two consultations, one in F&B, one in fintech

- found a new development premise

- bought a friend lunch

- received a coffee from one consultation

- hot aunty bought me dinner

- counselled a recent friend

- checked in on my other friends


A decent day.


1243 : Back to floor scrubbing.


1500 : Lunchtime napkin math. At the nominal rate of 50% per year, it'll take me another 15 years to 600x my capital. But chances are within that time I'll have figured out how to do better than 50%, so I think we're good for the long-term. The main advantage I have is that I'm already content with minimum wage life, I like working long hours, and I think that's the best way to spend life on earth. On we go ...


1734 : In TTDI. Anyone want to meetup this evening?


2357 : Middling day. Some progress on construction research. Some tactical investments paid off, but the whole fund is back on the market and might collapse anyway. Caught up with two old friends.


Thu Dec14 s2 m9 w38 d261 71.51%


0011 : Going to bed stressed. Also polished a counselling case today.


1945 : TRX mall design geniuses put a surau next to the men's room, with no special wuduk area. So the entire floor of the men's room is covered in water and paper globs. And there's a standing queue at the sinks.


Fri Dec15 s2 m9 w38 d262 71.78%


0830 : coffee and laundry


1233 : orbital sander


1355 : Loads of chores done in Q4. Almost done studying construction techniques. Splurged a bit on socials. But I gotta reel in opex again.


1821 : Soldering time.


2200 : car door and light fixed 


2222 : Amateurish mistake. Forgot to check technicals before buying.


Sat Dec16 s2 m9 w38 d263 72.05%


0101 : dinner in the neighbourhood; late to bed 


1630 : Ploughed a lot of time into charity work helping disabled or encumbered corporations and individuals recently. Wondering when my time will come, when I transition from apex predator to prey, and succumb to entropy. Ah - Saturday musings.


Sun Dec17 s2 m9 w38 d264 72.33%


2006 : What a shitty weekend. Poor food, poor work, and poor health.


2210 : Yesterday I was thinking, I should establish clear views for 1h, 6h, and 24h forward hypotheses on my investment positions, before putting work down, in each session of work.


Mon Dec18 s2 m9 w38 d265 72.6%


1418 : awake. must have been underslept. caught up. time to grind. 


1529 : Figuring out how much care to give patients is important. Patience is key. Upon signs of recovery, triage entails an aggressive claw-back of resources for other uses, as long as relapse is not imminent. Perhaps I provide care to more people than is healthy for me. But I was raised in this industry, so I should be skilled enough to manage the risks.


Should 😎


1930 : I was wondering if I have become disproportionately absent minded of late. I think not. In the mid-noughties I had a lot to think about, having figured out how to quantify human experience, the revision of every momentary experience under this lens was an absorbing practicum.


Now in the mid-20s, I have all of that experience, plus :


- a business to wind up

- a debtor to collect from

- two creditors of note

- two frequent social partners with respective concerns

- other infrequent social partners with respective concerns

- a number of distressed friends and businesses of friends, whom I hold space for

- no day job

- sometimes a few hundred thousand Ringgit in daily cash flows to manage

- daily profits and losses of up to 20% of AUM


Right now, despite forgetting to collect the sandpaper I bought from the hardware store, I am just happy to have arrived at today's office, where I will seek to clean tiles without electrocuting myself.


Some would call it folly, and I might not disagree. But nevertheless it seems like growth.


2200 : TIR I can call myself a hedge fund manager, because the only reason I own crypto is for exposure to the asset class ... due to the absence of simpler vehicles that direct ownership. LOL


Tue Dec19 s2 m9 w38 d266 72.88%


0333 : All humans are wired to work hard, in an attempt to die happy. But everyone disagrees on intermediate goals. So be it.


72.88% throught year-1 of sabbatical-2, today. This third quarter has been particularly complicated. Mostly I have been avoiding my own work, and focusing on anthropology ... i.e. being social, with friends and relatives. And lately, in the business community.


It's good to be social, but mostly it makes me sick, not because the people are not nice, but mostly because they are not admirable. I have to balance focusing on my work, and being aware of others.


Well, I suppose ... we are all passing time. Some of us have been working on unachievable goals for twenty years ... others have been spending the same time playing ""dumb ways to die"". Admittedly I find I am more the latter than the former.


How do I fit in with the former? Well, that's why I don't always look like the latter ...


"

"


Sab2 week39/52 review

DEETS:


Wed Dec20 s2 m9 w39 d267 73.15%


1106 : Can't wait for the year to be over. Lol. Hopefully far fewer distractions next year ... unlikely as that may be.


2000 : As far as locally produced work goes ... Weil Hotel is in top form. I want to work for Thong Fook Group la .


Thu Dec21 s2 m9 w39 d268 73.42%


1754 : Maybe we should just bucket everyone who wears business suits in the tropics, as ""chads"".


2000 : Housekeeping : doing my best to forget thousands of minutes of high-drama low-value stuff from 4Q23. Gotta get back into shape for 1Q24.


2121 : Off to social chores again.


Fri Dec22 s2 m9 w39 d269 73.7%


0227 : bed. fund at ath-9.6% 


1253 : Wake. Feed. Work. 


1412 : Non-zero probability these cryptobro psychos are aiming for the xmas2021 price of $50k. Alts moon in that scenario. Cute. I just moved everything to cash, but I should probably put some back.


Sat Dec23 s2 m9 w39 d270 73.97% 


1514 : Compassion : literally translates as co-suffering. The only way to do, is to be, which is the deep-end of cultural anthropology. Therefore being weak, and foolish, and emotionally vacuous, are the risks one assumes when one engages in empathy, properly. To do so to a lesser degree, avoids the point.


1628 : So if disinflation is so bad that the Fed cuts rates soon, do equities go up or down? Haha. Saturday musings. 


1630 : Let's see if I understand this rightly. There are about 8 million households in Malaysia ( 2023 ). The deciles are labeled B1-B4, M1-M4, T1-T2, so median_M1 is the population median ( 4 million households ) making north of 5,782 MYR/month, 14,904 USD/year, and 400 thousand households make north of the median_T2 ( 25,719 MYR/month, 66,293 USD/year ). Kinda helps put into perspective, where all the nice cars are coming from ... anyway, I think my current monthly income from investment is still in the B3 range ... I was briefly in the B4, but not presently. Alright, game on ... let's play the ladder ... #arbitrarytargets #dumbwaystodie


1726 : Casual fund management yielded about 50% in 2023, but I need to do 140% in 2024. So maybe I need to pay more attention. Fuck, I hate distractions ... but hay gets made while the sun shines.


1745 : How la, need to sustain 0.3% daily ...


1800 : minimum effort kinda day 


2107 : Counting down the days till the end of a month of scheduled appointments ... gah ... zzz ...


2202 : In teams, the prior experience of an actor is a lesser concern, than clarity about the role the actor must play in the present, and the consequences to be enacted upon failure to play the role adequately.


2231 : I'm a horribly inefficient investor. Over the last 30 days, on nearly 7000 units of investment activity, I returned 21 units of net appreciation ( probably something like 120 gross units of appreciation, and 100 gross units of depreciation ). Loose and fast figures ... just monitoring for review, and improvement.


2248 : After deprioritising it since 2006, it is now time for me to study bond durations.


Sun Dec24 s2 m9 w39 d271 74.25%


0018 : Was at a business meeting over mamak in Hartamas. It was inspiring to hear about the hard work put into a SaaS over many years, from the founder himself. He was looking to hire affiliate marketers. I said, I would send any suitably interested parties, and I thanked him for his time.


As I left the mamak, and walked down the row, occasional shouts were heard. A burly gentleman brushed by me, and his companion said ""sorry"". I asked if there was a club nearby, as there were so many dressy people. The burly gentleman asked if I wanted to party, invited me to party, and said I was with his party. So I played along. We exchanged names, his started with an A or an E. Perhaps he was on empathogens, perhaps he was just friendly. His friend said, it was just a random night out. We entered the club. I had been there before. The Vault. Too loud. I left.


I like conversations, and I don't like yelling. I love working that scene, as I get to hang out with people I have little in common with. But I do not spend my personal time or money too much where my ears are damaged easily.


Haha. A light, Saturday night, in town.


0500 : reduced loss from ATH-18% to ATH-2%. Bedtime 


0937 : Time to grind.


1337 : AVAX 17.7B will now target to flip ADA 22B ... above that is XRP 33B. For context SOL 49B, flipped BNB 40.8B and XRP just this week.


In investment, nothing in valued, except by what someone else is willing to pay for it. That is economics 101.


1517 : Busy, but unproductive day. Pausing personal work. Back to social chores. Looking forward to fewer botherations with friends and family next year.


Mon Dec25 s2 m9 w39 d272 74.52%


0003 : One more huge social chore checked off the list for 2023. See you in 


2025 : P


Tue Dec26 s2 m9 w39 d273 74.79%


"

"


Sab2 week40/52 review

DEETS:


Wed Dec27 s2 m10 w40 d274 75.07%


0620 : Hopefully checked off the last sizeable social chore of the year. Just two more priors and I'm done. Can't wait to get back to other priorities.


0700 : Generally, 2023 was a good, but not great year. Way too much time was spent with parties I met before, and too little time was spent with new people.


0732 : Ok. I finally get it ... haute cuisine is for people who cannot cook. Like fashion buying is for people who don't make their own clothes. It took a while, but I finally get it.


2004 : Do the laundry. Cook the rice. Build the spreadsheets. Light the flat. Stress the body.


2030 : did laundry, tidied up, installed new wiper tank pump on the little car. made food and ate it. 


2055 : Oops. Administrative timing fuck-up ... don't have time to encash securities to deposit into PRS before EOY. LOL


2131 : Glad that hell month is almost over. Social relations are nice, until they impede your ability to function normally, and thus reduce net happiness. Friends and family are nice, as long as they don't impede one's ability to make money. A quarter of regrets - but that's the cost of maintaining memory. I shall remember to keep dangerous things off my schedule. On we go ...


Thu Dec28 s2 m10 w40 d275 75.34%


1353 : Definitely the worst month all year. Off to meetings.


1933 : I often get complaints from friends and family about things I post on the Internet. My general position is that my relationship with the public is my main social infrastructure, so I talk to the public, they are my people. Individuals have not replaced that role in my life. So you know where you stand, dear public. Haha. Some individuals terminate their relationships with me because I live in public ... but well, such is life. Stick to your people.


Fri Dec29 s2 m10 w40 d276 75.62%


0228 : Half day of rest, and focus on work, before the final four appointment days of the year.


It's hugely troublesome to help people out, and then be scolded for not offering to help them more. Some are able to recognise their limited leverage, and apologise. Others are written off.


I have tagged the ballpark cost of mistakes I made this year at $30,000. Going into the new year, I want to focus only on recuperation of capability, and recovery of costs. I must remind myself to lighten my expenditure on tasks proven to be unthanked by counterparties.


0351 : Portfolio rebalanced. Time to feed. Then sleep. Busy days ahead. 2023 needs to fuck off and die.


1241 : awake.


1400 : December review : nearly impossible to get started on work, since social appointments started the execution train mid-month. Huge backlog. Few more days of socials to deliver on before rebooting. Extremely concerned. Not getting much support from counterparties. Reconsolidating without support. Just focusing on rest and burning time till appointments have passed. Gives one a reason to fit into the trend of new year celebrations, I suppose.


1511 : Time for enforced eating ...


Sat Dec30 s2 m10 w40 d277 75.89%


0903 : Awake early, probably due to stimulants in the blood. Ten hours post administration, so monitoring for crashes over the next six hours.


I often think about how exercise is the baseline activity for hormonal stimulation, which all of us lazy individuals regularly forgo for coffee, sex, booze, etc.


Oh well, the economics of time.


I used to do manual shifts of up to 36 hours ... it's pretty revealing how much performance one can squeeze out of a normal person just by eating more protein, creatine, B vitamins, and caffeine.


Three days till appointments are clear, then I can start focusing on my lack of productivity ...


1445 : Looking forward to closing my accounts for the year, and finding out how negative my cash flow has been. Hahaha.


1622 : Is it just me or has Alexis consistently been a bastion of mediocre ala carte dishes ... for the price, outright poor ...


Sun Dec31 s2 m10 w40 d278 76.16%


0338 : Did some sewing repairs. Thought about the empty space in front of me, ordered but unused. Something needs fixing. The market will decide. Meditating on stressors. Two more days of hell month. Hehehe. I won't die, but I'm certainly going to be traumatised enough to remember all this.


0414 : Ah yes, childhood trauma from people missing appointments.


0500 : Enforced feeding. Meal at 0500. Coffee at 0546. Bunch of protocol issues to resolve. It's going to be a long day.


0611 : One can avoid the class of dimwitted fools only for so long ... before they start to feel sorry for you and try to make you a peer. Perhaps, one gets old, and tired, and capitulates. But probably, it is better to excuse oneself, perhaps politely, if one can muster the patience to be nice.


0857 : Intermittent napping, while on call. Time for a snack.






"

2023-12-31 at

2023 review, 2024 outlook

I miss college. It took me about three days to figure out that most people there were more interested in partying than in learning things. So almost immediately I began independent studies, and avoided the parties.

2023 has been a useful year of catching up on low priorities, learning how to fix walls and other sundry things, diet and exercise optimisations, emotional labour for peers, bits of charity here and there, and talking to all sorts of people about their funny little businesses. 

Just the other day I tried amphetamines for the first time - or what I was told were amphetamines, a quarter of a dose of MDMA - and my conclusion was it was roughly as effective at that level as getting coffee on a solid breakfast. Not super useful, given the long-term damage and regulatory non-compliance, but I can see how they are effective performance enhancers for young executives and military operatives.

I've observed peers who spend days each month pointlessly stimulating themselves at the cost of long-term development. I am reminded that this was very boring to me, as a teenager. I am probably still a teenager, of the mental age of fourteen.

I am not sure if I can persuade anyone to replace pharmacological stimulants of hormonal cascades, with natural activities : early morning exercise, and food.

It is a mystery to be considered in the future. I am looking forward to 2024.

Next year will be more like college.