Long-term greedy?

 $143 is a tiny sum. I thought a lot today, about spending that to buy someone a modicum of joy. But, I couldn't afford it - or I haven't yet decided to. Thrice in previous years, I made more than per work-day. These days it's a sixth of my monthly paycheck, or almost a month's rent. Nothing new, but I enjoy frequently reminding myself of how I run strategy. I've been systematically avoiding commercial specialisation since 2005. Every two years or so, I pivot out of product-market-fit, and chop down my income potential, just so I am constantly under pressure to acquire new talent. I think of talent as intellectual capital, but the latter term has a specifically different meaning under law, so it is best to not say so. I have been and unbeen, an investment banker, a business analyst, a software developer, a short-term trader, a business consultant, a technology consultant, and a business owner-operator. 

In contrast to that, approximately every five years since 2000, I've met someone I loved dearly, who couldn't explain to me why I irritated them. And there were other lesser cases in between. There's a lot of character development (i.e. pain) involved in combining these two key sets of stressors together, and trying to iron them out into one coherent life. Just operating is hard - nevermind pitching it to external parties. Anyway, about that $143, so far my business interest is winning over my social interest, but who knows what will be the case tomorrow. 

I'm going for a walk at Desa Park City later. I've been mostly awake for almost 30 hours, across work, snoozing, and socials. A friend will accompany me, it seems, so there is less risk of falling asleep at the wheel. I want to go for a short walk there, as I have before. It is a place for me associated with the discovery of a few lost loves, all of whom I am thinking of - two first dates, and an activity which never happened with a third. If you lose a dear friend every five years, it's an expensive enterprise to prospect for more of such friends. But I enjoy the process. On the bright side, every new relationship makes me fussier, and so consequently it seems, the people I meet improve in quality as I get better at picking them. So it SEEMS.

The overarching theme here is simple: stay long-term greedy.