2024-12-30 at

Tactical Avoidance of Apologies

Saying 'sorry' may INCREASE the volatility of a negotiation!

A cute conversation/negotiation tactic that recently been drawn to my attention, by a salesperson I went on a date with. In their profession, they said, "we never say 'sorry', we only ask 'how can we do better?'" 

  • (a) To some audiences, 'sorry' is a de-escalation signal, and has no deductive mechanics ;
  • (b) to other audiences, 'sorry' is an accountable vulnerability, and it logically follows that the vulnerability will be accounted for as an immediate liability, or a future liability.

In my own conversations, where I have mis-judged an audience to be of type (a), and said 'sorry', I have seen negotiations collapse immediately.

This is very interesting in retrospect. However it is not entirely new to me. Generally I would consider counterparties of type (b) to be inferior, culturally or psychically, so often I am searching for hidden triggers which reveal such weaknesses. As much as I might not have intended for a negotiation to collapse, I have always bet against the broader enterprise of negotiations with counterparties of inferior culture and/or intelligence.

I suppose I have to hold in mind that one day, I might be in a regrettable situation where the stakes are very high, and hinged on this risk management tactic.

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