I miss a girl, but I'm not supposed to tell her. So I'll just essay myself. I've done the usual review of how many people are in relationships to outsource the labour of coping with themselves - the parts of themselves they can't or don't want to cope with on their own. So if your partner is like that, and you agree to that deal explicitly, then you should stick to your contract. But some partners are not looking for that, and it's a different contract. And sometimes your partners want a certain deal, but you don't offer it. Fair dinkum, market hung.
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I miss many girls, actually, many of whom I'm not supposed to speak to - sometimes I am provided that guidance explicitly, sometimes I have to guess around inexplicit behaviour. The latter is normal in dealing with common people, I suppose. Some won't see me, some won't speak to me, some won't listen, others may not know I love them, others may not know I exist.
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When I love someone, it tends to stick in memory for a while. When I'm not allowed to tell someone I love them, I usually bookmark it in my head, and over the years I will review these people. That is the point of calling it love. And it's okay if each person defines their usage of the term differently. Most people are disgusted by at least one other person's definition of this or that. We just agree to co-existance of a sort, and when we don't, bloody wars emerge.
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I've been fortunate that my personal life has rarely lacked for security. Boredom is my dominant emotion, and as a result, I build relationships mainly to INCREASE risk to my person. That is why, I run a business, and that is why if anyone talks to me about seeking security, I frame it from the point of view of whichever business I am presently working on. Because commercial ventures are the risk-averse vehicles, which offer a counterpoint to my own social life, which is primarily risk-seeking.
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Tbc
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