I often fail, but I try to be ruthless about adding and subtracting relationships to my schedule -- referring to any sort, social, civil, commercial, familial, just "other people", in general.
So, it is both regularly liberating and sad, to be trading in and out of opportunities to spend energy on relationship lifecycle management -- which I broadly refer to as "social work".
As an irritant, and an extrovert, it is easy to simply assert what I want from the market, and then to see what sifts through the filter. The goals is to sift out as much noise as possible, even if that means sacrificing various legitimate opportunities. Based on this strategy, opportunities are intentionally scarcified.
Regretfully, I am certain that over time I cause fear or disgust in others, and may thus qualify as a terrorist or punk. These are specific word choices due to their etymology. While generally I present as an introvert, I joke with my friends that I am a closeted extrovert, because if I simply did not filter my preferred actions upon the world, I would probably end up being maimed or confined to prison.
To all the people I have hurt, intentionally or unintentionally, along the way, I hope you found a way to escape that poor experience. Meanwhile I do not regret most of my own choices of brinksmanship.
In fewer words, I am a reflective, but committed asshole.
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Nowadays it is "en vogue" to use em dashes if you want to sound like a robot. Did I pass your test? I was up early after five hours of sleep in the last session -- and was reflecting on relationships in the dreamstate, before getting up and going about non-study BAU. About ten hours later I'm at a desk, having made some time to write.
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