Sex Ops

Let's talk about sex. I mean, I'm going to talk about sex, because most people I know around here are shy about it. So for the benefit of everyone out there who likes reading or hearing about it, here we go ... everyone else, just move on, K?

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This is like a general reflection / questionnaire ( not blogging anyone's responses - just my own thought process). ('Q's) 

Well generally here's how I think about sex. ('A's)

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(1)

Q: Why should one bother to have sex? Not everyone wishes to procreate. Not everyone needs the pleasure source. Not everyone has no other way to relax/undistract themselves from work. Why do you?

A: It gets in the way of the rest of my life ... but it's a social skill that I'd like to maintain for the time being. I tend to tell partners, "You don't really have to worry about this as it's sorta a "me problem"."

(2)

Q: What is the role of sex, within a personal relationship? How is it in your personal relationships - is it present or absent?

A: It's a sufficient but unnecessary component of a relationship ... in non-technical terms, I can have relationships which are defined around the sex, and I can have relationships which are sex-less. We can be just cuddle buddies without the sex, if that's what you prefer - I'm kinda neutral about it. We could text forever and never meet.

(3)

Q: Do you prefer planned, or unplanned sex?

A: It's an athletic/work activity, so I have to phase between preparation and execution cycles for the most part. If we do generally have sex, it would be good for me to understand when it's wanted, and when it's not wanted. Can't imagine doing anything really well without planning. Minimal, minimal, minimal strategic interest in ad hoc "joie de vivre". I'm not often a character in a romance movie - usually I'm with the Borg.

Unless we are regularly having sex, it's usually not obvious to me what you'd like to do when we meet up. If for example you're not interested in sex, I'd like to know in advance so  I can schedule it with myself or other people. When we do ad hoc stuff ( this is for me to understand you better) I think I should ask,

(3.A.1) are you initiating sex?

(3.A.2) can I initiate sex?, or

(3.A.3) do you want to be aroused, but are too tired / not interested in arousing me?

Clear the comms.