Having An Absurdist Moment

... at the expense of communal confusion. :'D

Number of staff: +33%
Rate of staff who drive: -17%
Rate of staff with chauffers: +34%
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And that wasn't the absurd part of my day.

Bartender: And what will the three of you be having?
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CustomerA: Nothing.
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Bartender: You have to order something.
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CustomerB: They already ordered.
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Bartender: There are six of you, and one hot chocolate. You guys (indicates the three new arrivals) have to order something.
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CustomerC: Hot chocolate for me.
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Bartender: Excellent choice. Will that be one hot chocolate and two coffees, or three hot chocolates?
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CustomerB: Just one.
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Bartender: You three all have to order something.
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CustomerA: What's going on?
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CustomerB: He says, if we don't order something we have to leave. (Who said that?)
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Bartender: We have tea, coffee, chocolate, brownies, ice cream, ramen, Tim Tams, oat crunch. How about some Tim Tams? One Tim Tam for each of you? Two Ringgit each. Only eight Ringgit.
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CustomerA: Ok, ok, we'll take the Tim Tams.
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(Nope, not the absurd event. This frequently happens in bars. :p)

So, on the absurd. I was in the shower trying to figure out how to explain the non-transitive nature of shareholder relations without a whiteboard.
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Consider for instance an evangelical Christian simile. The tradition goes, that God through his infinite (but conditional) grace, granted forgiveness to Sam for sins committed by Sam against God. Raj also sinned against Sam, and was forgiven by Sam, though not by their father in heaven. Raj still goes to hell for sins committed against God.
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Maybe I'm stretching it, but it is almost 6am...