Neediness and Self-sufficiency

I guess some people decide pretty early on in life what they want to be and then they do it. In college I was prepping in case of life imprisonment, so I pretty much set myself on a baseline of self-sufficiency. I recently dated a girl who says, after decades of tumultuous relationships, that she's still hoping to find "the one" who fulfills her social needs. More recently, a longer friend of mine and I enjoy our time together, but I think she really is oriented the same way as that other lady, and perhaps she would have a simpler bond with someone who shares her degree of vulnerability in general. There's nothing wring with choosing to identify with career-spanning neediness ... some of us just find it to be in bad taste.