family therapy

Many parents have expectations upon children. Many children will cooperate if asked nicely, without qualms about telling parents to fuck off if nagged too much. The precise language is warranted, given the gravity of the situation ... no one wants to be nagged, instead of reasoned with. 

delineating : anxious, avoidant, secure

Another imbecilic meme, is the notion of a jointly sufficient ontology, merely from the adjectives : anxious, avoidant, and secure. 

Anxiety (1) : is a motivating state; biologically we might consider it simply as cortisol. However (2), the term is also used to describe externally observable states which are expressions of the inner motivation, though these (1,2) are distinct phenomena.

Avoidance (3) is an example of the latter (2).

Security may be naive (4) or risk mitigating (5).

Security, in the first sense (4), is the opposite of anxiety, in the first sense (1)

Security, in the second sense (5), is the usage captured by the popular framework, and exists only as a tuple (1,6), consisting of (1) and some sort of mitigation (6) against (1).

intelligence x empathy

Whomever came up with the notion that "emotional intelligence" and "empathising with emotional wrecks" are the same thing, ought to be shot.

It is precisely a matter of categorising emotional fragility : as a disability, to be reduced, and not as some bauble of civilisation, to be preserved.

The notion that virtue signalling about justice, empathy, and care, are jointly sufficient virtues, even without economically functional implementations of policy, is no good. It is quite nice to be nice, but this doesn't solve problems for anyone, except those who are offended, by the appearance of trash without regard for the final destination of trash.