Mayday, Mayday #tongueInCheek

Today's final heart attack:

'Couch' is not the same as 'sofa', I do not need to repeat this. Semantics aside, the morphemes are completely different. The starkest contrast is the 100% difference in the number of syllables. Beyond that, consider how the former ends in a (technical jargon aside) sound that requires coordination between the lips, jaw/teeth, and lungs, whereas the latter merely ends in an unbecoming scream. No 'sofa's on the signboard, I repeat, "no sofas on the signboard."