Etiquette and Sobriety

Reflections on etiquette, and sobriety. Nothing new, just stuff that came up in conversations, and personal reviews.

Many people have a distinction between amusement and sobriety - in that they cannot identify being fully amused without losing sobriety. This has been a curiousity to me for many years - of course, I wonder how people are coded. For some people, drugs, such as alcohol, actually disinhibit their caged desires - for others, the placebo of a drug is sufficient for them to switch codes. 

I have tended to think of myself as relatively disinhibited while sober - I would do many things that many people would not, I simply do not because it is considered inappropriate or violent or scary or criminal. I wonder if I was ever truly disinhibited ... would I be completely off the rails? I tend to say, I'm a repressed extrovert - because if I didn't consciously quieten myself in front of other people, I would probably just end up in prison for talking.

Ah, people, so many, so many types.

Dating App Funnel : Filter Cascades

( from discussion ) Here's the cascade of filters I use when shopping for new friends on matching apps.

1st pass : is this someone I would want to cuddle with ? ( not a question of fuckability )

2nd pass : is this someone I can have productive conversations with ? ( text or meetups, usually meetups are to filter out fake profiles )

3rd pass : is this someone whose emotional economics are compatible with mine ? ( stress testing of modi operandi, reduction of filters, checking of triggers, word choice, necessary and sufficient conditions for social relations, etc. )

4th pass : material logistics / economics

Calibration is a Win

Some of us spend most of our business development efforts figuring out which deals to kill. It's a positive when we find something that defines a kill. It's HARD to communicate this positivity to counterparties who are more oriented around looking for deals to keep alive. Most business relationships aren't simply kill or live, of course, and generally have stages of intimacy / depth of transaction which are progressively killed or kept alive.The whole benefit of here stems from collecting new information to optimise for the correct depth of intimacy in any relationship.