astroturfing on divisive issues in Malaysia

Astroturfing on race, religion, and royalty, in Malaysian media. 

Traditionally we associate psyops with DAP and PAS, followed by UMNO. But it might as well be foreigners looking to maintain divisions in Malaysia. 

Singapore is the most likely threat in an academic analysis, China, Russia, and the US maybe. Etc. 

bdnf

BDNF / brain derived neurotrophic factor effects, seem to be positively correlated, probably downstream from :

- zinc

- iron

- magnesium

- folic acid / vit B9

- ascorbate / vit C

- vit D

- creatine

- HMB 

- omega3

- citrulline

... which are are in my current protocol. So this is unifyingly interesting. 

Keep up the testing ...

How to Befriend a Child in Need

How to Befriend a Child in Need : a Guide for Adults

-

I had a friend, who was concerned for the well-being of a minor, that was not under their guardianship.

-

1. Minor is not your kid, so you can't do anything authoritative about minor. Guardian has jurisdiction unless you want to call social services on them, there is a law and protocol etc. 

2. You CAN be a friend. This is complicated as you basically have to juggle the following :

• 2.1. Communicate that you "see" minor and are willing to be an available resource, whenever they want to reach out. 
• 2.2. Explicitly note, with minor, that you mutually acknowledge that minor is under their guardian's jurisdiction. So there is only so much either of you can do, if guardian orders minor to not do/do anything. 
• 2.2.1. Anticipate worst case scenarios where guardian may block access, within legal limits. Preemptively establish methods for minor to communicate in an emergency. 
• 2.3. Be aware of risk to yourself, that by creating relationship with minor you are potentially liable for grooming accusations. So all goodwill extended has to be preemptively planned, and risk managed on your side, to the limit of your ability. There is no way to guarantee that you can be deemed harmless in court. You just have to decide what you believe is right for the (lawful) welfare of the minor now, and bet on your integrity in choosing actions. You may later be required to testify about this, to defend yourself. So you may need to seek legal counsel, if you wish to fully understand where you stand, in establishing such relationships. 

3. Guardian's behaviour distasteful? That's just personal offense until someone gets terribly hurt. Basically nothing you can sue for. I don't recommend you think too much about it, but many people attach themselves frequently to such things. Unless you want technical coaching in learning to delete your own feelings, I have no further useful advice.

abstract human classes

 Malaysians are not important. Because, humans are broadly not important - we just happen to be here. Social psychology shows us, that when people think HUMANS are important, then they think their INDIVIDUAL selves to be important.  There is a bit of chicken and egg about, how one's self-perception affects one's species-perception, but we'll conveniently gloss over that, here.

I was probably about 2 or 3 (-years-old) when I learnt how to consciously negotiate social situations by testing hypotheses of causality. About 8 when I was formally introduced to hypothesis testing. About 14 when I understood that working a room was formulaic. About 20 when I realised that human consciousness can be completely mapped to quantifiable data structures.

So I think of individual people, and the species in general, with maybe 30% difference in complexity. I basically have a general concept of how people work, and for each individual I am aware of, including myself, I have maybe 20-30% more information to add to that underlying concept. 

Often I am reminded that most people do not have such a vast concept of humanity. So each individual they meet requires some 70-300% new data on top of their underlying notion of how humans behave. 

It's kinda cool to watch these things. I try not to pay too much attention to the world, but I am not yet dead so I just keep watching and taking notes.

theists and needy relationship seekers

Religion is insurance. To re-ligament, to connect.

Deity-worshipers, animists and theists alike, have a lot in common with people who enter into relationships because of item 4. below. Often there exists among them a fear of death, which creates a fear of suffering, which creates a fear of ( loneliness, public shaming, poverty, sickness, etc. ). I think of them as the same sort of needy children, who never acquired independence.

--

It seems, most people marry out of one of the following :

1. social convention ( less personal preference )

2. regulatory mandate ( formal, or informal rules, with penalties for non-compliance )

3. capitalism ( access to goods, services, currency, class markers )

4. fear of abandonment ( needing someone/s to standby and pick them up when they fall )

middle class myths

Some common myths of the middleclass :

1. Your quality of life is fine

2. Society is designed to protect your quality of life

3. You can thus easily improve your quality of life via social activism

The last one is close to the truth : you replace "easily" with "dangerously" 

Malaysians wasting time as usual

Education is unfortunately, a sideshow, in Malaysian politics.

The religious and language aspects are brought into the main programming because cultural identity is politically the main act. 

Structurally, to attack this, attention returns to the removal of racial identity as the core of Malaysian politics. That is a very detailed consideration. Generally, the most elegant solution is for the COR to get more involved in leadership of the country's goals and missions. 

The executive does not have a strong majority, and I expect the post-BN era of consensus discovery to take all of 20-30 years.

maybe i need a monthly reminder

I have a tendency to completely forget, that a lot of people play the game of

- I need to appear as a law abiding citizen

- I need to appear to be a safe and comforting person

- I need to present as someone people will like, and seek to hire/ retain/ do business with/ keep out of jail

I should probably remind myself, at least once a month, about this. 

what is a worthy charity?

I spend a large chunk of my time on earth, helping people to do things that I believe to be ( the List ) foolish, naive, self-defeating, self-destructive, or just plain pointless ... because it is simply what they want to do, and I have the spare time to do charity. 

It probably comes from an enjoyment of my excess time alive, as well as the chance to provide others with opportunities to fuck up under their own volition, which I didn't feel that I had as a kid.

Generally I have to risk-manage against the following :

1. people who welcome help, but not if a help thinks the helped are on the List

2. the helped, who do not mind being thought of as on the List, as long as the opinion, that the helped are on the List, is not too loudly, or too often, spoken; some of these helped trying to get off the List, which is quite understandable 

3. people who will modify their interactions with me, because they feel that I am wasting my own time

4. etc. 

Strange, what we all do with our objectively pointless time in the conscious universe. 

opsi dilema Melayu

Opsi / psyops The Malay Dilemma, selalu kurang difahami para bukan Melayu. Dengan penekanan percabangan kepentingan antara kaum, setiap kaum terjadila lagi angkuh mengenai alhuiatnya ... dan mengorek dalam lagi parit perbahasan dan pengelompokan setiap kaum.

Orang Melayu diopsikan supaya mengutamakan ekonomi tersuap, pemikiran secara pemilik tanah, agama, politik, dan kenyahperincianduniawi : pengabaian keutamaan jentera teknokratic dan pembangunan STEM.

Orang lain pula diopsikan supaya mengutamakan bahasa dan agama persendirian, dan perkembangan ekonomi sekaum ... dengan itu mengabaikan jentera politik kebangsaan, dan menumpukan perhatian pada kerja dan syarikat persendirian.

Terjadila kedalaman sekatan antara kaum yg dihidupi masyarakat seMalaysia selama dekad2 kepimpinan ini.

mcmansion cafes

- brick wall

- plastic chair

- veneered table

- bitter coffee

- sweet cakes

- food colouring

- whipped cream

- spaghetti

This is the mcmansion of cafes

reflections on studying investment : EOY 3

Reasonably productive day. I am still broadly on standby to provide logistical support to the family, in the second week of developments.

While waiting, I took time to study realestate prices. I started investing in realestate (2011) before I started trying to master investment in general (2023). I worked for an asset manager way back in 2007, but it wasn't intellectually stimulating at the time ... Malaysia to-date remains a laggard in both tech and finance. At the time, I was more interested in catching up on programming computers, which I had postponed beginning in 2002.

Life remains a happy string of postponed interests. In primary school, I wanted to be an architect, engineer, or scientist, but those interests had to be put on the stack between the ages of 8 and 15 because Malaysia's education system didn't allow such specialisations. When I could specialise in science at 16, I quickly found the pedagogy to be disorganised and inelegant, so I diversified further into subjects the Malaysian system did not include at all : mainly subjects of art and literature. 

Investment management was postponed partly because I had no financial capital to begin with, so I took a strategy of unhedged short-term focus from 2005 to 2011, only then buying a flat in order to put some money aside for strategic reasons. I worked mostly cheap jobs, and when I didn't I invested in R&D, not financial growth. Secondly by 2004 I had already figured out the structure of consciousness, and so was pretty much of the view that the remaining time I had to live should not be too concerned with ladder-climbing, given the altitude of that first ladder unexpectedly ascended. I figured I needed to reflect and digest upon that until I was 40 or so.

Anyhow now, this is my THIRD year of putting any significant effort into studying macroeconomics aspects of investment management, albeit a slightly greater than minimal focus. I am enjoying the process, and today I felt (intuited) that perhaps I should work in property development in order to understand the inputs of land politics and construction terrors, upstream from property price distributions in Malaysia.

Maybe I should try to find a property developer that isn't an altogether horrible employer, and put some time in there, at some point. 

I also say the same about working on Malay and Chinese language accounts in a creative (ad) agency, but that is a distinct complication, as philology is certainly not finance.

Today I drove around Seremban with a greater appreciation for its architectural styles, than I had before any study of architectural history, as a child.

I am still looking for something to do with my life. It passes happily, but boringly, most of the time.

famlly law and death

Family is an expensive distraction. Last week I was reviewing the current LAW in Malaysia.

1. CHILDREN are NOT OBLIGED to manage and pay for the lives, or collect the bodies of PARENTS. Any such discussions are extra judicial CULTURAL norms. (Generally, only parents are required to manage children.)

2. You can create a TRUST to do pretty much anything, anytime, within Malaysia. But these are expensive. 

3. You can create a WILL to do pretty much anything, after you die. It is quite useless before you die. 

4. You can create a POWER OF ATTORNEY to do pretty much anything also, but this IS CANCELLED the moment you are ( officially ? ) MENTALLY INCAPACITATED ( MI ).

5. So if you do not die (3), but have a loss of executive function (4), to the effect that you are MI, you are out of self-protections unless you had a trust (2). Anyone can apply to the HIGH COURT to GRANT THEM rights and obligations to manage your life, at this time. 

6. Unclaimed bodies will be disposed of by the STATE.

Structurally, items (1,4,5) are currently receiving some remedial attention in Malaysian Syariah and Singaporean law.

---

Malaysia : loss of mental capacity : once it happens, we can simply apply to the high court for authority to manage the estate, of the living incapacitated, right? 

Wrong : seems like our entire legal system is wrapped in the grey. So it comes down to conventions, which may be based simply on precedent, and professional guidelines, and nothing firmer than that. 

So once we have queried doc+lawyer, we should expect not a crystal clear answer, but a description of "the currently accepted practice within the medical and judicial system".

sports ministry of Malaysia

Someone said Malaysia's sports ministers have always been awkward.

This is a good point. I am not sure that they understand it is

First : national branding and citizen motivation 

Second : health and wellness

Third : winning

If they mistake the strategic priorities, they kelam kabut.

good business

What is a good business? Generally folks believe that ESG and other moral imperatives are useful indicators. But what if it turns out that most consumers are actually living bad lives? It really does depend on how you define, a good life, for consumers, doesn't it?

By that definition, most B2C efforts that send plastic into the waste stream, memes into the clickstream, and sugar into bloodstreams, are simply making consumers live bad lives. But to many people, these are good lives, as the opportunity cost of being less biochemically and environmentally abusive ... would include a loss of serotonin, and money-making capability, which would render the consumer with the opinion that their lives had gotten worse. 

If you believe that most people are shitty imbeciles, then you must believe that most businesses are shitty ponzi schemes. 

So then what do you do about it? That's a lot of people to piss on, and argue with on a daily basis, at every turn of the page. 

agency and decay

Executive function, when lost, may not result in death. Mental capacity may be lost gradually, creating a blur in the transition of roles and responsibilities for a person's estate. Some write perfect wills with ready executors, but these are completely useless until a terminal event.

The law may specify that no other individual has a responsibility to manage or support the life of anyone "on the blur". After a terminal event, the law may specify that no one is required to claim the body. The government picks up the pieces, in this process. Costs are socialised.

Culture, meanwhile, has its own computations. Often a program cannot proceed, or proceeds disgracefully, if certain roles are not performed. So, reluctant actors are coached to execute performative actions, out of charity, for the audience's sake.

Some believe that culture has an equal or greater place, in determining actions, than the law. But only the law is funded by taxes towards enforcement.

So, write better laws.

family therapy

Many parents have expectations upon children. Many children will cooperate if asked nicely, without qualms about telling parents to fuck off if nagged too much. The precise language is warranted, given the gravity of the situation ... no one wants to be nagged, instead of reasoned with. 

delineating : anxious, avoidant, secure

Another imbecilic meme, is the notion of a jointly sufficient ontology, merely from the adjectives : anxious, avoidant, and secure. 

Anxiety (1) : is a motivating state; biologically we might consider it simply as cortisol. However (2), the term is also used to describe externally observable states which are expressions of the inner motivation, though these (1,2) are distinct phenomena.

Avoidance (3) is an example of the latter (2).

Security may be naive (4) or risk mitigating (5).

Security, in the first sense (4), is the opposite of anxiety, in the first sense (1)

Security, in the second sense (5), is the usage captured by the popular framework, and exists only as a tuple (1,6), consisting of (1) and some sort of mitigation (6) against (1).

intelligence x empathy

Whomever came up with the notion that "emotional intelligence" and "empathising with emotional wrecks" are the same thing, ought to be shot.

It is precisely a matter of categorising emotional fragility : as a disability, to be reduced, and not as some bauble of civilisation, to be preserved.

The notion that virtue signalling about justice, empathy, and care, are jointly sufficient virtues, even without economically functional implementations of policy, is no good. It is quite nice to be nice, but this doesn't solve problems for anyone, except those who are offended, by the appearance of trash without regard for the final destination of trash. 

how not to use dating apps

A lady friend said, the quality of men on dating apps is shit. I agreed, but I didn't think it was dating apps, but men in general.

As for dating apps, there's a specific way to use them ... top of funnel, lead generation, factory farming : it's a mining operation, so ore throughput and sifting accuracy are the KPIs.

The absolutely wrong way to use dating apps is to avoid every profile that has even one word on your banlist. If I used dating apps THAT WAY ... it would sound like this ... 

"I am dreaming of ..." nope

"Passionate about ..." nope

"Loves to eat, sleep, and travel ..." nope

"Searching for true lo ..." nope

"Foodie" nope

"Are you my one and ..." nope

"Provider mentality is impo ..." nope

"Sapiosexual ..." nope

"Looking for someone to spoil m ..." nope

"Best friend in ... " nope

"Someone who understands ..." nope

" Chivalrous and ... " nope

And after like, 5 minutes and 180 profiles, I would be terribly fatigued and delete the app because my expectations were too high and I got disappointed based on very superficial noisy data.

The secret to happiness, is lower expectations. High targets are a red flag. Use apps to find apparently interesting people. Go on dates to weed out liars, not to develop feels - that comes later, if candidates are of quality.

food safety regulations

 "OMG they washed and re-used disposable plastic spoons," was featured on Threads today.

• 1. Note, this isn't illegal in Malaysia, as far as I know. ( Correct me! )
• 2. Yes, it's going to generate questionable bodily exposure to chemicals.
• 3. No, it's not entirely clear that this is more dangerous than ... cooking at high temperatures ( e.g. acrylamide & friends ) ... using canned goods ( e.g. BPA and other EDCs ) .... using any made-in-Malaysia packaged foods and personal care products ( which are subject to far laxer banlists than those of say, the state of California ).
• 4. The video of "evidence" showed actually illegal practices : the food services staff was not wearing gloves, an apron, or any hair covering. Their hair was messy, and their jersey-looking t-shirt was not tucked into their pants.

Why do we have broken windows? Because the government decided that this is normal.

corporate duties

ANY corporate work that is done, there should be a DOCUMENT.

• A: already assigned to me
• B : hey, i am doing this for free
• C : i am now assigning this to myself, someone stop me

If you don't, then you are just undermining your own career in a competitive environment.

Context : coaching a friend who is always frustrated at work, due to lack of clarity in work assignment, and lack of reward for work done.

F response classes

F classes of response :

Fight

Flight 

Freeze

Flop

Fawn

Feed

Fap

Fuck

Lagi? nAtuRe iS aMaZIng

a conservative approach to teaching

I have a conservative approach to teaching:

1. Students should expect the worst environment

2. Students should be prepared for contingencies

3. Students can consider ways to improve the environment as a lower priority than 1,2

This is of course, not tasteful to everyone. 

It really doesn't work for people who believe in moral superiority ... they get stuck on disappointment at 1. and have less energy to do 3. because they are avoidant of 2.

Islamic governance in Malaysia

Apostasy from Islam, and related disputes of conversion and children in Malaysia :

The real power vests in the COR to demonstrate religious leadership, and cultural authority, on how Islam should be practised in Malaysia, and on how Islamic communities should be lawfully administered besides non-Islamic communities, in a unified plural society, under one constitutional law. 

We await a wise, and brave ruler, who will actively lead the nation on this matter.

bigco admissions criteria

Someone was asking about how to gain admission to BigCo jobs. 

1. Why would rich people trust you to give them advice? 

2. Usually your family background. Or, your academic association. Or, your other life achievements. 

3. Actually it is not complicated. 30% of the world's total trillions in wealth is owned by a few hundred people. 

4. Understand THIS market via your own study. 

5. Partners make a million US a year. :) You have to ENJOY servicing insecure, ultra rich, not necessarily commonly cultural, folks, or their staff.

Tag : MBB, management consulting

resource allocation

I wish I knew more smart people. But generally I spend my time trying to become smarter, instead of searching for smarter people. 

Perhaps it is just the culture I grew up in. Don't piss off your parents, even if they are idiots. Make sure you please the dumbfuck teachers. Honour and respect the silly animals that cutely make up the bulk of society. 

That is politics in a nutshell. Be civil as part of ordinary civilisation.

Love your neighbour. 

:)

shopping

Many people approach life, as if their opinions about it are important. Opinions may be involuntary reactions, which we commonly call feelings, or some verbal abstraction of those, which we call words, or some less abstract representation of those, which we broadly call expression.

It has been quite a chore to search for people who avoid this approach. But it is better to spend energy on such qualities than on the quantities of people who have the stated basic approach. 

the great game

It is considered normal to desire friendships, sex, children, and other common relations, simply because these are the traits which have persisted life to this moment in history. To participate and identify with this is simply to go with the flow. Thus many are sufficiently happy.

Other trends died out. Others do not identify with these traits, or prefer other traits, with or without the hypotheses that their preferred traits will be fitter in future environments.

Generally, the societies that survived have done so by down-regulating the latter, so it is unsurprisingly that they continue to so. 

That is the great game.

characterising pork

Like chicken but less sweet, and more aromatic. The fat is more saturated. So you could approximate something between chicken, fish, and beef.

meat puppets and signalling molecules

Workstation productivity. The individual human is a meat puppet on signalling molecules. Given infrastructure from post-sleep state and nutrients, the protocol trigger is muscle impulse. I am slow and weak, by my reckoning, so I must shape my signals by way of optimising the trigger. Food analysis and exercise, remain front and centre. 

goodnight young lada and ladies

Good night, my loves, my little voices, aged in flesh reluctantly, struggling with adulting. Good night, my ghostly spirits, my foolish pets, near and far, forgetful and remembering. Good night my fearful people. Tomorrow, you must do it all again. Another test of sanity, and persistence. Void of meaning, but for that which you bring. 

signal and surprise

 Not everyone understands that communication relies on baseline protocols. With dancers you dance, with nudists you nude, with prudes you prude, with bullies you bully, with bleeding hearts you bleed, with the prayerful you pray, it is a matter of speech.

the poverty of enlightenment

The privilege of understanding how consciousness works at the rudimentary level, is that there then remain no concerns about what consciousness means. There is nothing to engage with emotionally, as emotions can be bluntly appreciated as ordinary sensory experience with ordinary structures like everything else. 

The question about what to do with such privileges remains an economic conundrum. While the ordinary neighbours are facing their existential hardships, enamoured by engagements which they can't simply shake off by intention ... one either ignores them, or empathises with them, which incurs high cognitive costs. 

I suppose at some point if one is rich enough, then one can engage more often. Otherwise social engagement is simply a lot of work with no reward, and perhaps better to be deprioritised. Hm.

wealth is a river

Wealth is a river that flows from these to those

with more time than money

with more money than taste

with more taste than sense

with more sense than reason

with more reason than time

xenophobia in Malaysia

Malaysia needs to become less hostile to foreign cultures. As a natural born citizen, anything I do is by definition Malaysian culture. Even if the majority of Malaysia hates what I do, the bare fact is that I represent Malaysia in the minority. So the national policy caanot simply refer to what I do as non-Malaysian culture - it can only refer to what I do as unpopular Malaysian culture. 

sejarah bukan-Melayu

Selalunya satu Malaysia membincangkan perangai Melayu, kebanggaan Melayu terhadap sejarah, adat, dan nasib Melayu. Melayu dan bukan, puji Melayu. Melayu dan bukan, kutuk Melayu. Melayu, Melayu, Melayu. 

Ok jap. Aku nak apungkan sesuatu. Timbang sekejapje kanta ilmlah ini : masalah Melayu bukan disebabkan tiada tumpuan pada sejarah Melayu -- sebenanya, masalah Melayu disebabkan dorang tak bagi tumpuan kepada sejarah sedunia yang bukan-Melayu. Betapa salahnya huraian ini?

halal substitute for white wine in cooking

1. Minerals ( pelbagai )

2. Tartaric acid ( from grapes )

3. Flower, fruit, and leaves

4. Yeast, and other microorganisms 

Shortcut? Use a water kefir or kombucha made from grapes or white fruit juices

engagement protocols for prospectors

Q : why would party A engage with party B, if party A has already decided that party B is not efficient to engage?

A1 : party A may continuously engage with party B as a matter of information gathering. 

A2 : party A may also discover how to transfer inefficiency costs to party B, and allow party B to opt out of the engagement, if those methods are not tolerable to party B

How I answered a friend this morning, by illustrating my general approach to society, as I don't find any other individual to be 100% interesting, whereas I constantly engage with less than fully interesting folks, while asserting pressure that may or may not make them more interesting. 

dumbfuck detective

Sometimes I forget that people I'm talking to are dumb and will simply parrot phrases I am using. But they are getting angrier, so I need to go on an adventure to figure out when+why they are angry. 

Often enough, the main reason is an inability to process text without emotional effect. Dumbfuck trait 1

This may be compounded by inability to become disturbed without broadcasting a change in state. This may be due to being verbally unaware of the change. DFT 2

This may be further due to inability to analyse emotional and cognitive states in detail. DFT 3

Usually once I have alerted myself to DFTs 1-3, I can start strategising remedial action. Preventive action is possible if I am more conservative in the first place. Actively avoiding conservativeness is often a lazy strategy to detect dumbfucks. However, there are of ways to work harder in the detection of dumbfucks, if one cares to avoid hurting them in the process of discovery. 

mereness

the measure of success :

- the encashed and happy, will say it is cash

- the smart and happy, will say it is smarts

- the loved and happy, will say it is love

the merely happy, will say it is mereness

hard tack project

alright, the time has come to start baking. the role this has in my career is primarily personal ops, value-maxing on food prep. sabbatical requires me to minimise cash and time expenditure, while maximising cognitive and hypertrophic output

the base case is : rice, oil, and protein powder, require too much hydration, and thus could potentially be substituted with some sort of hard tack

the napkin strategy after a few minutes of Googling is :

1. flour + water + bake : figure out how thick it can be, without becoming too difficult to eat

2. flour + oil + bake : ditto

3. repeat 1 and 2, with baking powder / commercial yeast / natural yeast

4. repeat 1, 2, 3, substituting flour with : soy protein isolate / whey protein isolate / eggs / other supplements like creatine, beta alanine, citrulline, HMB ... with consideration for denaturing of the ingredients ( I really don't know if this is feasible without lab work : I don't have a lab )

oh well, off we go ... this should take a few weeks ...

what do you train for?

cold taken : your daughters should be trained to survive sex trafficking. bar too high? can they survive street assault? how about cat calls? i've had this variety of conversation with ladies since the 90s. it's a matter of being prepared for the weather, orthogonal to demanding the world (men) be less shitty : these are not mutually exclusive activities

identification of business sectors

On vaca, I visited some hospitality businesses. I was reminded that most of the well-known ones exist to entertain the middle- and upper-classes. Folks with entertainment budgets of less than 300 $/year ( about a daily soda ) are rarely seen here. A piece of bread can set you back 2.5 $, in these parts.

I reflected upon my own position in business : I was raised on a low budget for entertainment, and generally identified as poor person despite being over-educated on non-financial matters. I've generally not been interested in the entertainment sector, as I don't personally value its products and services, though I study and purchase them judiciously for others.

I still tend to think about essential and growth-functional services, for the time being. Perhaps at some point in my life I will change. We shall see! 

rage-related boundary conditions

A useful boundary condition for removing counterparties ... folks who can get angry from textual interaction. I think, that is a good illness to exclude. I will apply it more ... 

perkauman dan uang

Padahal banyak orang tidak berpendirian bahawa kaum adalah sesuatu yang penting. Tapi kenegaraan kita merasmikan perkauman sebagai ciri perundangan dan seterusnya ekonomi negara. Jadi, terbiarla kepada politikus klo nak hangatkan atau bekuan isu2 yg berkaitan

Org gerak kpd duit

crying

Crying. Infants cry as a matter of instinct, and adults respond as a matter of instinct. But these behaviours often carry into culture.

For some adults, crying is a legitimate method of calling for help, and responding to crying is expected. For others this is only relevant to children. 

Generally society maintains this instinct of emerrgency call and response. What is debated is whether the calls are about more-:or less-valued things, and whether the response is appropriate in proportion. 

this is my friend card

I think I need to print business cards, defining the use of the word "friends" to mean folks who enjoy communicating with each other.

It also has to deny that any party owes the other any specific obligation, not even a quality of behaviour, unless mutually contracted. 

There are too many people running around with their heads full of ideas about what to presume from other people.

Of course, this is just about cultural preferences between high-context and low-context.

Clean up business! Family is a type of business. Lovers and friends also. 

dating self-sufficient people

1. you're emotionally self-sufficient 

2. you're financially self-sufficient

3. you're not dating to lose such self-sufficiencies

Maybe better copy for my ads

mission : severing the heart of the world

Over the past 20 years I've had all sorts of people come up to me with talk about hearts. I'm not sure if some are more tickled or horrified when they figure out that one of my primary missions is to remove the dependence of human culture on the concepts of empathy and passion. I seek to sever the heart of the world. 

Definition : a mission is a goal, with an incompletely defined set of subgoals. A vision is an end-goal. A vision can parent multiple missions.

culture and force projection

Everyone bets on culture. Some people bet on cultures that are more or less dependent on certain presumptions, such as "people are nice", "people should be nice", "people should assume that others are nice" etc. 

So you have to figure out whose culture is similar to yours, and also how to cooperate with people who have different cultures. Much of THAT figuring out is a lot of work. That is why startups, and dating, and cold sales, are all somewhat complicated subjects. Some more than others. 

THAT may or may not involve causing others a lot of pain, depending on your culture. Some cultures will shove other parties in the preferred direction, and lacking force, they will poke them. 

I think on average, my appetite for risk on earth has been to piss off approximately half the audience, and to win support from an equal amount. I will tend to calibrate my risk levels based on the feedback I get, to reach that operating threshold.

a comedy of gifts

A comedy of growing up "smart" is that you start getting annoyed from a very young age, when people say "that was clever / you are clever" ... because it implies :

1. speaker has a low-expectation of cleverness about the general environment

2. maybe speaker is dumb; speaker could be manipulative; now we have extra work to do, if we want to test if either is true or false

3. if either is true, the fact as it is discovered is depressing

4. one learns to not trigger such comments, by avoiding surprising behaviour in public

5. resultingly one has a sort of reverse imposter syndrome, as one generally pretends to be less clever in public, because commentators are annoying

6. at some point one stops being annoyed, and just hoses random strangers with odd behaviour, as one achieves the enlightenment of understanding that one does not owe society the comfort of familiarity

7. thereafter, life is simply becomes a game of balancing empathy for dumb people, against personal convenience 

meta analysis of eating out

1. I'm on vacation and looking at restaurants online. So I am thinking about how I think about food.

2. I normally eat at home, and when I eat out it is a trade on convenience for time.

3. Having previously done a bit of research in Horeca ( skipping the deets ), my conclusion to-date is that there is almost nothing I would pay someone else to cook as a matter of their personal expression, except as a favour, since generally I prefer my own expressions to the expressions of others. ( Sure, pay ME to consider your expression, I could do that. )

4. Besides convenience, there are other things I can't DIY at home : ambience, is generally the term for a scenic location. Don't give me some built environmental stuff, why would I want that when I can build my own environments?

In conclusion : I should peruse HoReCa mainly on the basis of scenery. Views of traffic or landscapes of various sorts. 

case study : sexual fantasy in response to knowledge of betrayal

Interesting case study, surely a general pattern :

- X expresses loss of trust ( oxytocin + cortisol )

- Y perceives X's state

- Y reacts by seeking to establish trust with X ( oxytocin target + serotonin target + dopaminergic driver )

B12 and me

Current model : I normalise a low operating baseline for serotonin, because I have cultural biases against mania

Taking B12, boosts serotonin production, increasing motor neural reaction times, and sense data rate. Downstream, that aids melatonin production - methylcobalamin specifically, is a further cofactor

This is related to my study of how to sleep without dreaming, while in college, and my inability to feel fully rested without dreaming when I ran a 24-hour business over a decade later

serious relationships

Many people looking for a serious relationship, can't handle one. But that is simply because "serious" is a weasel word meaning "define it later". That is not a serious proposition.

A serious relationship is based on facts, terms, conditions, exit clauses, underwriting, incentives, penalties, diversified risks, control mechanisms, documentation, and execution. 

"Agree to love me unconditionally", is a fools errand. At least, say you want a foolish relationship, not a serious one. Hah

identity politics and funerals

Identity politics is always fun, for the same reason they say that funerals are for the living. 

For the most part I do not think it is important to be human, until I hear some bozo making ridiculous claims about what it means to be human. 

I do not think about my nationality, race, religion, professional qualification, or personal experiences, except when someone else speaks to me about them.

Then, usually, I am happy to spiral into a long list of opinions which are happenstance in my mind. But sharing such opinions with people who actually think about those identities day in and out, is not so useful, simply because their identities and my own are definitively different in that we do not think about the same things, daily.

Most of the time, in society, the opinions I share are not my own ... merely a copy of how I wish to be represented in public.

That is the mere nature of managing political relations. 

unconditional love policy

I am occassionally surprised, by how many health professionals and wellness influencers ( public intellectuals) consider it healthy to love unconditionally. 

It's a basal tendency which is fun, but it's complete nonsense as an unregulated axiom of relationships. Of course, civilisation has no end of literature about it. And it is a political tool at all levels.

But from a governance perspective, this shit needs to be normalised to be a juvenile trait ( ignore the genomic issue, for simplicity)

wanting to be loved, should not be an uneducated operation

Literally me in every conversation with people who idealise being loved :

"Does not seem like a well studied point of view. How about a moratorium of a few years to study the market and player psychology, before establishing reasonable goals and strategy, then executing after that?"

oven, iron, and cooking silicone temperatures

TIL : baking parchment paper is silicone coated and good up to 230C/450F, a. k. a. "hot oven temp" which is exceeded by "v hot oven temp" 260C/500F, and of course pizza ovens which can hit 430C/800F.

Clothing irons run can hit "hot oven temp" but not "v hot". This is all useful only because I am trying to figure out what to use for casting household plastic.

home ec is hard :(

tradroles for sexes

The traditional role of male providers to female providees is a legacy of sexual differentiation and the energetic cost of child bearing that is wired into the species. 

1. While I'd like to say that it's ridiculous when non-childbearing females expect to have male providers as class markers, it's actually slightly not. Females bear the brunt of costs baked into their genetics regardless of their birthing activity - though that cost is not quite as pronounced as it is during child-bearing activity. 

2. I maintain that artificial wombs "AW" will be more liberating, and thus impactful on the species than "AI". But we can't really anticipate how politics will clutter that revolution, yet. 

non-Muslim Malaysian attitudes towards Islam

My attention was ( accidentally ) drawn to Muslims in Malaysia, who are concerned that non-Muslims in Malaysia react to Islam in a negative fashion. Never being one to waste a useful accident, I noted the following. 

I guess there is a gradient of 

1. "don't think about or care about" to 

2. "irritated by because it takes up unwanted space in your head" to 

3. "you can't seem to get rid of these irritants" to

4. "hate"

To be precise, all of these are compatible with life as a citizen and resident of Malaysia. There are of course different degrees of public nuisance you can cause, by talking at different volumes, about your own location on that spectrum. ( There is a symmetrically positive wing of the spectrum of course, which is not relevant to this discussion about the negative wing. )

I think a lot of non-Muslim Malaysians are simply at (1.). Based on their daily interactions, or provocation by politicians, it can spiral down (2, 3, 4.) etc. 

All of this is completely [ ordinary, and boring ], to [ a rational, well-informed citizen ], who is educated about [ cultural plurality, the structure of the constitution, the fragility of mental health in the general population, and the offensive and defensive tactics applied in Malaysian realpolitik ].

The problem is that we have an education system ( sum of formal and informal factors ) which produces too few of such people who find it boring and ordinary. 

😎🤪

dasar moral negara

1. Ramai rakyat Malaysia terkeliru dengan fungsi agama pada tahap kelolaan negara

2. Seseorang boleh terkelola agama pilihannya. Tetapi bukan setiap rakyat memilih agama yang sama, jadi pengelolaan negara tiada gantungannya kepada mana2 agama tertentu

3. Pengelolaan negara tergantung pada perlembagaan, itu saja akidah pendasarannya

4. Jadi, pendidikan moral kebangsaan tanpa mengasaskan pengajaran kandungan perlembagaan, sudah terjadi kecuaian yang amat mengelirukan anak2 kita

fermentation tech

Since kimchi operations began this month, I have had to go down the rabbit hole of fermentation tech. It is shallow.

1. lactic acid fermentation, is anoxic ( bacteria / LAB)

2a. upstream : ethanol fermentation, is anoxic ( bacteria, fungi, NOT plants )

2b. downstream : acetic acid fermentation, is oxic ( bacteria, mostly / AAB )

3. symbiotic colonies of bacteria and yeast / SCOBY are used in various traditions

- pickles like kimchi are an example of 1.

- yoghurt is mainly 1.

- wine is an example of 2a, and balsamic vinegar subsequently 2b

- kefir is a 3. which is mostly LAB

- kombucha is a 3. which is mostly AAB

That's most of it!

avoidant relationships?

Because it is non-scientific terminology, it basically means whatever people want it to mean when they speak or read "avoidant". 

For example, the following are all different, "avoidants of ..." 

A: getting hurt ( all biological life )

B: certain cultural marks ( cultural life )

C: verbalising emotions ( some are just incompetent )

D: empathy without incentive ( economically rational/ calculative )

E: explicit commitment ( economics again, but more formal )

-- and that's just a few

hip extensors, lordosis, and bed work

Apparently I've been using pillows wrong, fairly often. I have good data on this, because I remember what I was doing consistently from 2001 to 2006, and then from 2007 when I started operating out of a sleeping bag. Basically I stopped hugging a pillow with my abs, and that moved a lot of passive tension away from my hip extensors to my hip flexors.

Compounded with increased seated work, and reduced walking and running, and furthermore by the complication of starting to date around 2007 which normalised new objects of hugging. 

After doing some crunches and related work today, I put a bit more focus on active manipulation of hip extensors. Hopefully this gets worked out over time and fixes any lordosis that has developed. 

politics for children / 101

What is politics? And how are children educated about it? Here is a brief introduction. 

Stealing, killing, raping, etc. are easy. Doing these legally is more difficult. How? Lesson 1.

Happiness, grief, excitation, joy, anger, etc. occur in nature. But their natural role is to organise meat. How? Lesson 2.

Communication is a popular topic. But it can be defined to mean literally the same thing as control. How? Lesson 3.

These things should be understood, before a child is 12.

notions of maturity

 Public ethics and health, and civility, are based on notions of what is "good". ( Good is called "mature", when we tolerate badness in juveniles, etc.)

For some, a mature individual has no dependence on other members of society. And a mature society makes no demands of such dependence upon its adults.

For some, a mature individual MUST have dependence on other members of society. And a mature society MUST demand dependence between adults.

These are conflicting definitions of good.

--

It is immature of people to place, or to seek to place, emotional dependency upon their partners. 

Because it has become a common method of subjugating the population, many people feel it is normal, ideal, and healthy. 

But I find it to be sickly behaviour. 

And it is likely I will spend half my mating life explaining my point of view, without a desire to argue too finely about it.

Vitamin D : forms, half-lives, sources

Vitamin D is complicated.

SUMMARY : 

• calcitriol << kidney << calcidiol << liver << calciferol(s) << exposure of fungi, and animal, tissue to  UV

FORMS : 

• Furthest upstream, calciferol(s)
• [ D3 = cholecalciferol ] ... output FROM human skin, and other animal sources subjected to UV 
• Supplementation guidelines ... this is of interest because of the vast range :
• 400-800 iu/day for maintenance
• 2000-6000 iu/day for athletes
• [ D2 = ergocalciferol ] ... output FROM fungi subjected to UV
• There don't seem to be plant sources - some documentation misattributes fungi sources to plants.
• Plasma half-lives are about 1 day, very short, because these are quickly metabolised in the liver.
• But effective somatic half-lives are 15 to 21 days due to storage in and slow release from fat.
• => 3% at 2.5 to 3.3 months
• The most plasma-stable form, [ calcidiol(s) = calcifediol(s) = "25(OH)D" ]
• FROM liver activity upon calciferol(s)
• [ from D3 : 25-hydroxy-cholecalciferol ]
• [ from D2 : ercalcidiol = 25-hydroxy-ergocalciferol ]
• Plasma half-lives are 15-30 days, bound to [ gc-globulin = D-binding protein ]
• => 3% at 2.5-5 months
• THIS IS THE COMMON BLOODWORK
• SUFFICIENT : > [ 30 mg/mL = 75 nmol/L ]
• INSUFFICIENT : [ 20-29 mg/mL ] = [ 52-72.5 nmol/L ]
• DEFICIENT : < [ 20 mg/mL = 50 nmol/L ]
• The active form, [ 1,25-dihydroxycholecalciferol = calcitriol ]
• FROM kidney activity upon calcidiol(s)
• Plasma half-life 15 hours
• => 3% at 3 days

Islamic apostasy case law in Malaysia

Any approvals may also be classified as official secrets for political reasons 

Others have known cases from decades ago

Some speak of societies which are organised informally for political action 

These are ordinary things in Malaysia

-

Apa2 pun, hak rakyat individu bagi memilih pendirian mesti dipertahankan ... setakat tidak menjejaskan hak mana2 pranata lain.

Hak memilih pendirian, tidak bercanggah dengan hak perkauman bumiputera.

Kalau didapati bercanggah, ia menjadi krisis perlembagaan yg mesti naik makhamah dan seterusnya parlimen. Ia tidak boleh disenyap2kan bagi tujuan politik sahaja.

Bangsa, Agama, dan Kelola

Peristilahan : "bangsa, "agama, dan "kelola".

1. Pada dasarnya ...

Setiap satu terma ini niskala, dan penggunaannya selalu mencetuskan salah faham.

AGAMA. Ia mampu merujuk kepada (A) pendirian yang tidak rasmi, ataupun (B) keundangan rasmi.

BANGSA. Ia mampu merujuk kepada (C) perkauman yang tidak rasmi, ataupun (D) kenegaraan rasmi.

KELOLA. Ia bersemantik semacam "kyber" dari Yunani kuno, dan "kamudi" dari Jawa kuno, dan telah disesuaikan menjadi tatakelolan ( "tadbir urus", "governance", "kybernetike" ).  ( Ia berhubung dengan istilah sibernetik, iaitu sains pemahaman sistem sebab-akibat berlingkar, sama adanya semula jadi atau buatan, tapi topik itu lain sikit. )

2. Jadi ...

Di mana-mana juga, AGAMA merupakan pendirian, dan pemahaman terhadap hubungan antara seseorang dan persekitarannya (A). Manakala, hanya di kawasan yang berkelolaan rasmi, agama seseorang itu terjadi lah keadaan rasmi, di bawah perundangan (B). Keadaan ini selari dengan gagasan keBANGSAan (C, D).

3. Seterusnya ...

Seseorang itu mungkin lah berpendirian berumat agama X, tetapi oleh sebab kedudukannya di kawasan yang dibawah perundangan rasmi ke-atas X, di mana umat rasmi X bertanggungjawab ke atas pelbagai cukai masa, tenaga, kewangan, kejenayahan, dan sebagainya ... dan oleh sebab seseorang itu tidak mahu dibebankan dengan tanggungjawab itu ... jadi seseorang itu mungkin akan menafikan keumatan-X-nya secara rasmi.

4. Akibatnya?

Jawapannya kosong, sebagai latihan bagi pembaca. 

people and prejudice

 In maximising coherence with society, each individual should clearly communicate their views.

- if one is not committed to human rights : one should not speak of commitment

- if one does not find value in the common person : one should not speak of a common value

- if one does not respect the views of others : one should not speak of respect

These are simple things, which all children should study, and master. Yet these are common views which adults will hide from others. They do so out of shame, or fashion, or for political advantage. Politics and economics are here to be understood as the same thing.

top issues for ladies on dating apps

Biggest hurdles for girls on dating apps : dudes that are ...

- married : no mention or saying "not married"

- attached : no mention or saying "not attached"

- in closed relationships : no mention or saying "it is open"

- looking for anyone to fuck : saying "they are a couple looking for a 3rd/ 4th"

- looking for sex : saying " they are looking for a relationship" , "they are not sure what they are looking for", or "they are playing by ear"

Probably the more common ones. Suss these out !

who actually pays for therapy?

I've noticed a pattern in folks, who commit themselves and their funds to therapy. 

1. They're not necessarily short of people to talk to. 

2. They're averse to spending large amounts of time working through the details of their thoughts, so they do it only for very small fractions of their time. 

3. Sometimes, they aren't limited in time ... but they do prefer the privacy of formal counsel, in a protected environment. 

4. Therefore, to friends and neighbours, their capacity to analyse their thoughts discursively may not be available as a social activity. 

After all, if they were comfortable discussing themselves at great lengths, and without secrecy, they would not need to pay for protective services. 

Large Language Models to Small Physics Models

Riffing on AI architecture with the (boys?)

"" If you want logic, look at 1990s automated theorem provers and descendents. Nothing new "" 

"" LLMs doing bumblefuck reinvention of logic from emergent grammar is just a waste of energy "" 

"" Btw, logic is a canonical abstraction over physics. The only thing better than an ATP for logic, will be whenever they transition LLMs into LP(hysics)Ms. Or SPMs for that matter.

One of the quick napkin calculations I ran a few months back before taking a break from computational work was ... to figure out how many voxels fit in a number of bytes. E.g. you can use abstract data structures such as spheres or cubes or tetrahedrons wtv. For ease, consider cubes. A 2-cube is 8 bits. A 4-cube is 8 bytes ... and that's good enough for roughly guessing the shape of a thing already. A 16-cube is only 0.5 KB ... but you can describe most common household items with it.

Then we start to refer back to the sorts of chip hardware being used for popular software today : they're matrix math ops used to run markov models, but they will eventually be repurposed to run spatial ops. It goes full circle back to what game chips were originally made to do. LLMs are just a distraction because neuromorphic architecture helps with language games. But languages are just abstract games over underlying reality, whose data is ~4D geometry. We will see more of such software, soon, in anthropomorphic agents. ""

--

Ranting about glorified reinventions of logic from bumblefuck emergent grammars on socmed. 

"" It's simply a crude model of logic, which costs oodles of resources more to generate via emergence from chaotic systems instead of just using NAND gates. This entire approach needs to eat a bag of dicks and move onto proper physical modelling asap i am so tired already 😂"" 

"" ( replying to : [ Logic aside, do you think psychological modeling has no value? ] )

for starters the entire formal discipline of psychology is FAR from being mapped precisely to neurology 

But, let me step back and accept that you probably mean lay-psychology, or natural language psychology, i.e. the notion of human minds as the man on the street appreciates them. Sure, it is useful to model all sorts of romantic familiar behaviour. But that just puts such efforts in the same spot as formal psychology above. 

The only good psychology is ever going to come from physical models. Meanwhile what we have is critical theory with physics envy."" 

neediness and pathology

Supposed to be in a period of celebration for a few years. But plagued by complaints from social projects. So, need better curation of social projects to avoid huge and unnecessary liabilities. 

I was discussing strategy with a friend. They suggested reverse psychology, and i said I had no room to add complexity via irony.

Needy partners can be fun. But the ones who actually get into moods they can't adjust themselves are the issue at hand i think. Some people consider it "normal human needs", i consider it pathological lol. Different cultures i suppose. Need to assess candidates on a case by case basis

reminder to engage with society

I am generally comfortable with my role in society as one who studies it. Every now and then I am uncomfortably reminded that people do not want to know how dumb they are. Many do not think of

- conscious experience as a quantifiable manifold

- emotional experience as an analytic category

- personal identity as a trivial commodity 

- the physics of their kinesthesia

- the chemistry of their nutrition

- the informatics of their nervous and endocrinal systems

- the engineering of their social relations 

- the structure of law and governments

So, I can only tell myself, shut up about plebs as much as possible. Observe them without communication. However, I do think it is civil to engage with plebs, in as much as that is what is required for education of individuals and societies in the long run. 

friendship among fools

From 1999 to 2000, I had the misfortune to have no peers nearby. I didn't actively engage with uninteresting people as peers, I just focused on myself.

From 2001 onwards, I decided that even if there were no interesting people around me, I could socially engage with communities and individuals who might benefit from my involvement. This heuristic has guided most of my social life since - and my commercial life too, since I regard commerce as a variety of society. 

Of course, I want to get paid too, but it's called social enterprise for a reason : I need to know what makes you happy, then we can talk shop.

Every now and then, one of my friends realises that I don't actually regard them as objectively interesting, but simply as the local society that happens to be easiest to engage with. Sometimes this has interesting consequences. Most of the time, it comes to nothing, as generally people don't think so highly of themselves that they believe themselves to be objectively interesting. 

dissatisfaction and its discontents

Conscious conceptual appreciation, that others will not always do what you want, is merely the beginning of reeducation. 

Beyond this, one has to modify the subconscious expectation, whose disappointment results in conscious dissatisfaction with undesirable behaviour as a whole. 

That is to say, you will always be bothered by other people, until you expect them them to be irritating. Then they will simply be boring. And if they still bother you, it simply means you still entertain too many unmodified subconscious expectations. 

what is progress?

I don't want a society where men are more gentle. Rather, I want women to be more violent.

Now I don't say this with great conviction. I say it because it needs to be said, in a world where emphasis is predominantly placed upon virtue signalling and socialised babysitting. We need to speak less about men being protectors, and encourage women to victimise men, in equal proportions to the violence that they have suffered from men. Then we can say, there has been some progress.

This post is basically a template for how to address issues in public.

friendship with bleeding hearts

Examining friendship with bleeding hearts :

- If they had a bleeding heart, I would often be asking them to clean up after themselves and to keep it off the floor.

- Low common interest, unless they found my general advice useful, or enjoyed having me help with dishes, chores, etc. 

- Generally I am prejudiced towards classifying bleeding hearts, as basically disabled people.

- I use the term loosely, as the bleeding heart is a loosely defined metaphor.

- My parents were both bleeding hearts, and it caused me no end of inconvenience in childhood.

the footgun of Marxism

The greatest triumph of capitalism, and the greatest footgun of Marxism, is :

- Marxism framed its critique in abstract terminology : "class", "capital", "means", "power" 

- Capitalism simply sat behind a moat of concrete terminology : "money", "long life", "health", "beauty", "eat, sleep, travel"

It's been a lark studying the public relations failure, resulting from poor copywriting and brand strategy. 

psychology of compliance

I started studying psychology before I was three. I remember learning how to A/B test responses to my mum's attempts to modify my behaviour. It was pretty obvious that you give people what they want, in order to get them to comply with your preferences. To this day, I don't understand the approach of forcing people to do things, and hoping that they will stay compliant forever. 😎 At that time, I didn't think my mum was very smart. But I suppose it was her first time raising a kid. 

SNS x PSNS : and sex

Imbalanced sex overstimulates the sympathethic nervous system/ SNS, and keeps me awake. Vagus nerve ( parasympathetic/ PSNS ) stimulation is quite important for getting rested. Or something like that. 

Sex, masturbation, physical exercise, whatever. I find that my neural focus should be on the PSNS because I spend most of my normal life activating the SNS.

That's why developmental athletics competes with book work for me, it's alll SNS. I don't eat or socialise to relax much, except for sex.

Meta ethics, and games

What is ethics, and why is it important? Well essentially, ethical systems are synthetic models of causality ... basically they are games. The cognitive capability to play games, is a side effect of the capability to think about hypothetical scenarios. The study of the Golden Rule is a simple approach to observing this. Anyway, what is culture, and the purpose of life, but a synthetic game? 

As to why there exist synthetic games, and gamers, now we are on to metaphysics, the ontological question, and the anthropic principles. 

why science is controversial

Most people don't know how to access science. 

1. Science is a method, that produces probabilistic models of risk. 

2. Folks who can't brain statistics, have no choice but to trust scientists. Is this science? No, this is faith. 

3. As a result, scientism, the faith in statements claiming to be scientifically determined, is actually what most people get about science. Shadows on a wall. 

4. The business of throwing shadows is governed, at more levels. Now scientism is in politics. 

:)

ressons to marry, in Malaysia

In Malaysia, often marriage is all about the money. I think I will start telling people, I have no money, and I don't want your money ... so there is no reason to get married. In Malaysia, pre-nuptial agreements are not enforceable in secular marriage.

Religion is a secondary issue, but since I am not religiously pro-marriage, I do not consider this aspect of marriage. Romance, the notion of a fairy-tale ride-or-die, I consider a game for idiot children, and encourage no one to practice it. 

Over the past five years I've met so many divorcees on dating apps. Many of my former partners have since, gotten married. I've never been married. I made a proposal once to a friend in college, but they were not interested.

I hope that the one thing people can learn from me, is that relationships of all sorts are primarily a form of business. Family, friend, and lovers, are all balances of trade. One can manage these effectively if one practices transparent and simple governance. When less clear language and protocol is introduced, humanity regresses to primitive notions of kinship. Such is the lay of the land.

japanese running u-turn

Was trying to figure out what a "japanese runner u turn" was, and it's essentially a three-stride manoeuvre :

1. Inside leg pushes away from turn, outside leg reaches away from turn ( centre of gravity moved into turn : countersteering )

2. Outside leg lands away from turn, as body drops to lower centre of gravity ( continuing analogy with countersteering)

3. Outside leg pushes into turn ( maximising force in turning direction, due to 1, 2 ), inside leg reaches into turn

4. Inside leg lands in pivot position

5a. Body pivots around 4, rotating into turn, or

5b. Body pivots around 4, rotating away from turn

6a/b. Outside leg lands in whichever manner is appropriate based on 5a/b precedence, then applies maximum braking force ( and force absorption), then initiates kick-off in new ( 180-degree ) direction, including partial redirection of any absorbed for

7. Inside leg lands, and begins compensatory adjustment to resume straightline running

plastic pipes

Ok so ... plastic pipes ... ermegerd

Not for UV :

PVC : PVC solvent : common

PPR : welding machine : hot water

ABS : ABS solvent : drains

PEX : clamp/crimp : less hot water

PB : compression, pushfit, or fusion : obsolete

UV resistant :

Buteline ( brand ) PB or PE : crimp : PB for hot water

HDPE : flange/ compression fitting 

iman dan pengakuannya

Rakyat Msia mementingkan ungkapan dan pengakuan iman. Ini berpunca dari khazanah kebudayaan, yang menentukan sistem pengendalikan perseorangan kita.

Namun adanya kepelbagaian keimanan, dan seterusnya pengakuan yg tercetus daripada kepelbagaian itu.

Dari kanta antropologi, keamalan pengakuan iman terdedah dalam ketaksuban upacara mengungkapkan sokongan/ sindiran terhadap pihak yg dianggap kumpulan dalam/ luar.

Tu lah, kehidupan semasa di Malaysia

Yawn : Sabbatical 2 : Quarter 10

Tue 1Jul2025, Sabbatical2 @2.263years ( year3; month28; week118; day826 )

0006 : Denotations. That's what they call 'the literal meaning' of things. So, for 80-some years, we still don't code these properly in machines. Why? Because most people don't even bother to quantify the denotations of their daily use of language - so it is completely counter intuitive for them to even think of coding it into a machine. But once people figure out that this shit matters, there will literally be nothing left to do.

1038 : Perhaps one day it will be fun to chase a money job, or business, but so far that hasn't been something my cards are optimised for. So, up again today to try and brain lexical semantics ...

1050 : Good sleep. We are back on track with this. Between exercise and nutritional inputs. Now I am merely more cognizant of how dumb I am, so back to work.

1157 : marjoram goes very well with french pastry butter in scrambled eggs : much cheaper if you nuke your own, than eating out, I think

1449 : Trump : is the half year over?

Aides : yeah

Trump : Elon sucks"

"Wed 2Jul2025, Sabbatical2 @2.266years ( year3; month28; week118; day827 )

Thu 3Jul2025, Sabbatical2 @2.268years ( year3; month28; week118; day828 )

0404 : i hope malaysia completes that research into UBI soon 

0516 : Caught up on sleep after a day of social chores. Burnt a lot of gas, hanging out with friends.

1124 : Caught up on sleep. Plasticity ok. Dreaming possible. I have been forgetting to monitor the frequency of remembered dreams. Anyway. Time to feed, and to resume boring desk work. Still stuck on philology as a precursor to software design.

1221 : Daily self-reminder to stay in my lane.

1317 : Philology :

- that of computer languages, is messy ...

- but that of natural languages, is messier still ...

https://www.reddit.com/r/linguistics/comments/pzb1zc/the_sorry_state_of_mongolian_in_unicode/

1443 : first chess game in years - i am being peer pressured into this for the sake of virtue signalling - default gnome chess engine is crap, and i expect to lose to stockfish next

1926 : emojified my threads profile :

1 a bit snobby

2 🇲🇾n, 3rd class

2 values 🧑‍🔧🖥️🔧 ＞ 💰 ＞ 👪🫂💕

3 research : 🌐🗣️🔢🧮📚📐⚙️🦾 (link)

4 comments : 🇲🇾🔬🧬⚛︎⚗️🏛️⚖️🤝📈📊💵

2243 : Today is for squats! It rained a bit, otherwise I'd be more enthused about running. Maybe the streets will be dryer by 4am

2320 : LUNCH TIME

Fri 4Jul2025, Sabbatical2 @2.271years ( year3; month28; week119; day829 )

0218 : All-In is super fun. Folks I know in my town don't talk like that, so it feels like I get to plug into a network that doesn't exist here. Total incel pattern. LOL

1213 : It is a privilege to have had a head start in life. I am grateful for the time that remains, and I try to make it pass enjoyably. I think about my lane, and return to my study of grammar this month. It is my third lifetime in the world ...

1527 : It is very cute when they get excited about ""mix of experts"" and ""chain of experts"" architectures.

N retards is only slightly better than 1 retard. If they're all LLMs, it's not much of an architectural improvement.

You need a logic checker / proof assistant in the loop.

1554 : Most of my social circle consists of people who complain about their bosses, rather than enjoy their skillset at work. This is a bit tiresome, but I think it is manageable for the time being, as long as I can ingest more productive content elsewhere.

Sat 5Jul2025, Sabbatical2 @2.274years ( year3; month28; week119; day830 )

0936 : I'm just waiting for the LLMs to take the long way about figuring out that most of human culture is maximally efficiently stored in 2D tables, and processed with NAND gates.

0951 : Caught up on sleep, but probably need to feed more. Can't wait for linguistics studies to be over. All this non-MECE history of broken ideas is getting to me. Speaks to the matter, that I didn't bother to memorise all this rubbish for the past 41 years because I had better things to do. I guess in life, one runs out of better things to do and ends up with things which were worth procrastinating about ... so boring, and trivial.

1140 : Texas is having a Kelantan moment. 

Perhaps the hydrography of calamitous regions correlates with the fear of acts of God.

1209 : Business development. Many meetings start with friendly protocols, but the real meat of the conversation is finding out what your counterparty hates / fears / avoids / pays to avoid.

1238 : ""Why is it so important to reduce humanity to a deterministic formal structure, anyway?""

""I don't think it's important. I'm just a prophet of the fact that I find it possible ;)

One has to represent what is underrepresented in society. That is progress.

I'm just a mechanic. Here to troll everyone who doesn't believe that they boil down to very basic mechanics.""

1245 : Since creatine administration resumed, water retention is back. So ... need to put more focus on macro ingestion to firm things up.

1452 : janganlah cepat nak jawab apa yg kau pedulikan ... soalkan dlu : 

apa itu kepedulian?

1536 : Coadministering garlic ( NOS activator ) with protein seems to help : turns out NO is a huge protein process regulator.

1606 : TIR: sago isn't grown in balls

1901 : Please can we ban people from using the term 'neurodivergent' unless they have working knowledge of neuroanatomy ...

1909 : Seems like ICE-opponents in the US have been caught pants-down without a legal framework to protest against this. Can't ask for a warrant, if no warrant is needed; can't ask for trial, if no trial is needed; etc. Good luck - may the odds be ever in your favour.

1953 : I guess the one thing that impresses me about my career so far is that I no longer have to wonder ""oh what if someone does this weird thing for 5 / 10 / 20 / 25 years,"" because I now have it in retrospect, after having it in prospect. Just being able to prod and poke about the entire process has been interesting.

2021 : Break for groceries. I hate studying English grammar.

2338 : Back to grammar - sigh. Barf.

Sun 6Jul2025, Sabbatical2 @2.277years ( year3; month28; week119; day831 )

0218 : Time to goof off for the day. Too much grammar today. More grammar tomorrow.

0704 : hungergames

0744 : down 

1327 : Good ... Sunday afternoon. Operational plasticity is still challenging. The substrate being processed is very messy these weeks (natural language grammars). I am paying special attention to dopaminergic inputs and duty cycle tactics. Just another ordinary day in a student's life. I hope you're getting ready for the week ahead of you ...

1349 : Time to feed, again. The mortal coil.

1448 : So it turns out, some Threads profiles don't play nice with Custom Feeds. But removing them restores normal functionality of any dysfunctional Custom Feed.

1513 : X : people are never happy with Proton - ungrateful

me : we should remove protectionism for Proton (+Perodua)

Y : the tax on imported cars is for revenue, even if there was no P1+P2; 

me : then you levy the same tax on P1, P2 lah, why nurture weakness?

1622 : some news scandal : naked non-sexual intimacy : con-lan-firm is this firm-lan-con lah 

1652 : ""tittle"" : the dot upon the letters little-i and little-j

1744 : Rest brain. Brain does not want to swallow more stupid English grammar.

1803 : Enforced feeding time. Let's make a rice.

2025 : US of A's turned into a game of giant tag ... tell me chiquitas ... are you not entertained ...

nreyna34

2223 : Fresh taco. Mmm

2349 : I did not sleep much yesterday - so now, it is already time for bed.

Mon 7Jul2025, Sabbatical2 @2.279years ( year3; month28; week119; day832 )

1159 : I guess LLMs are impressive to people, who have relied on talking to other people, for their sense of well-being.

I'm just offside because I minimised doing that several years ago, and generally my social life and business relationships don't depend on an expectation that I can appreciate the words coming out of the other person.

lol. 

Nevertheless I am happy, for the many people who find that it is good to have more new people that they enjoy talking to, for fun and profit.

1306 : Back at a desk. Observing hypokinesthesia despite doing only moderate workouts for the past few days. Perhaps I need to eat more. Or it's just withdrawal from methylcobalamin doses

1333 : Item 3/4 is making for a horrible month.

: 1. computer programming notation

: 2. formal logic & mathematics notation

[[ 3. the canon of pseudo-scientific linguistics / philology ]]

: 4. natural language of human beings

: 5. sensory consciousness of human beings

1336 : TIL : syllables are like cavalry : having light, heavy, superheavy, superduperheavy etc. classes lol

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mora_(linguistics)

1517 : The study environment I have built for myself, in software and hardware, is luxurious. But, I must pay more attention to its redesign from time to time, as the nature of work changes. 

1627 : today is a documentation of prosody

1658 : An ex asked if I wanted to repent of my sins.

I said she sounded stressed, and if she wasn't attached, I'd offer to eat her out.

I think it was a fair tit for tat. 

1901 : runtime

Tue 8Jul2025, Sabbatical2 @2.282years ( year3; month28; week119; day833 )

0132 : down

1158 : Awake. Obtained a normal sleep duration, after yesterday's run. Enforced feeding now.

1312 : Had a friend looking for a business development executive. The reason I didn't jump into it is that I only like doing business from an advantageous position, whereas the environment in general consists of people who enjoy working from a position of mutual disadvantage.

So it would really come down to founder values : is this business trying to be friendly to everyone, and thereby succeed? ( I wouldn't want to get involved unless highly paid. ) Or is this business trying to obtain dominance?

1319 : I do enjoy community building under circumstances of mutual disadvantage. However, that already takes up the bulk of my existence : 

- I have a minority position in a dangerous country

- I have a limited network and capital base for broad research interests

- I generally don't want to add more complexity to my life, unless paid up front for it, so in commerce I generally look for highly guaranteed returns on time, in one form or another

1915 : After 40 years on Earth, and 20 years in the workforce, I can safely say : every generation contains mediocre plebs who complain about other generations.

Every generation also contains privileged overachievers who do not think about class issues, and who aggressively resolve problems for others on an individual basis out of sheer philanthropy.

Figure out who is which, early on, and deal with the type of people who offer you a better deal."

"Wed 9Jul2025, Sabbatical2 @2.285years ( year3; month28; week119; day834 )

0432 : Realised during my run today, that fatigue can be adequately modelled as an out-of-memory error. At least in the cases I experience it.

0443 : And you find it unsatisfying to be solipsist?

Solipsism is fun and easy for me.

If other people exist, i simply have to do what everyone else does and life is predictable.

If other people don't exist, I simply do whatever I want, and life is amusing.

So vacillation between predictable and fun, sums up my life. 😎

1727 : Social chores write off the day.

1753 : TIL : Aura farming : building a CV

Thu 10Jul2025, Sabbatical2 @2.288years ( year3; month28; week119; day835 )

1553 : Progress check

: computer programming : stagnant 

: linguistics and natural language grammar : iterating

: physical conditioning : slight improvement

: macroeconomics & opex : stable ... but wary

: hardware studies : mostly on pause

: social life : slightly busy with new factors ... nothing stable

1623 : Oftentimes while jogging these days, I think of an event in 2007, when an artist/writer housemate said I was weird, while I was lifting weights on the porch of the house where we rented. I wonder if I influenced me to try and fit in by working out less. I am not sure, but I do think about it from time to time. I suppose peer pressure is a thing. Now I just lift weights in my bedroom, which is also the kitchen. Hah.

1740 : ""I am looking for avenues to ...""

""Sir, all avenues are covered with FPV nets for good reason ...""

1744 : Normalise having peace of mind without monetary security. Money is a bonus :)

1901 : Academia must be punished for losing the reigns of thought, to commerce. Or, was that always the case? :P 

1949 : Not a super productive month : but, progress ... SEEMS positive, so I am going to reinvest gains in physiology. Time for a run ...

Fri 11Jul2025, Sabbatical2 @2.290years ( year3; month28; week120; day836 )

0700 : Sorry. Non-zero but little love for Mahathir. Nice guy, but thorough problematic. 

Posting this the day after bday celebrations out of common decency.

0728 : I got one Indian Malaysian friend said, Malaysian Chinese are racist.

I said, Malaysian <h1nks are <un+s.

If anyone has an issue with either of these statements, I'll just say that the real problem is that people are ashamed to be labeled as racist or <un+s. It is shame that makes Malaysians in general weak, sniveling idi0+s.

Rearrange the Malaysian psyche, for progress.

1510 : Hot topic : GRAB : how profitable are their mature country markets?

That is really the only interesting metric, and all else is speculation and entrepreneurial lobbying. The long term prognosis for a mature market is thin margins and broad scale, generally moatless, and under permanent pressure from incumbent VC.

What do you think?

1559 : I guess I'm still in month-end mode. Gotta wrap up H1 docs, and get back to pure study soon.

1709 : ballpark status of 100k+ monthly MYR wages in Malaysia : Brand name management consulting firms - junior partner level at Big4, or senior IC at MBB, maybe in this range. Zoom out to find boutiques and tier-2 firms in this sector.

Otherwise you have to get survey data on large firms, then hunt jobs based on specific large companies and known ladders to climb.

For O&G data is much more common in Malaysia : this is the lazy data, and generally it's a lazy industry, because at the national level we are overdependent on it.

1836 : Some consistency would be appreciated : if you value motorbikers, you should extend the same courtesy to cyclists. If you want to to kill cyclists, you should be reviewing the law about motorbikes altogether.

At least if you are a bad person, be a tidy one.

2009 : Fund now at ATH-22% vs ATH-27% just a few weeks ago.

Quarterly OpEx down 15%, which is awesome, but may be a cyclic low.

I am grateful for the opportunity to study important things, instead of just working on dumb stuff for a little while.. 

2016 : Come on Jerome - last chance to raise rates !

2016 : time for a grocery run

Sat 12Jul2025, Sabbatical2 @2.293years ( year3; month28; week120; day837 )

0034 : Why do I get the sense that the Trump gang are going to rugpull Saylor, and make some surprise announcement about some other chain/s. Well probably because that's one way to make history repeat itself. And in a hall of smoke and mirrors, anything is expected.

0153 : The American resistance is pathetic. Groups like the ALCU have done nothing to prepare the public with a legal toolkit for resistance against Federal policies. 

I'm not partisan to this : just stating the facts ...

0310 : I think i have to do a review of local government documents tomorrow. Argh

0327 : down

0334 : Ambiguity, when overly applied, incurs large memory costs.

In my limited social circles, I often think of admirable people I met over the past 20 years of anthropology in KL. Mainly, with some sadness, I think it is time to impose harsher filters and to sweep many of these into the bucket of irrelevance.

After all, I am no longer primarily focused on anthropology, as that period of deep focus has passed.

0336 : on the great defunding in academia : Nice. Reality strikes home. People come to realise they were not adequately prepared to defend themselves. Maybe their successors will fare better.

1306 : Another day. Sleep debt reduced. Physical conditioning improved. Neuroplasticity improved. Time to insert food and desk, soon enough.

1323 : Enforced feeding 

1423 : I was giving my spiel on space and time businesses to a dude. F&B / Hospitality - world's oldest profession - model of last resort for folks with too much time. Space rental - model of last resort for folks with too much space.

As a corollary : you should mainly go into hospitality if you feel already retired ( like me ). And you should mainly go into asset rentals if you're already rich ( property rights, protected by legal systems ).

1741 : Working up towards my 2006 volume of 50km/week. Statistics indicate that a volume of over 100km/week correlates with 150 minute marathons. I don't really care about marathons, but it's a good benchmark for health.

2013 : Egg, butter, citrus, greens, creatine, bread : run, reduced fatigue, shin splints are becoming prominent after a week of running.

2056 : TIL

: tartarate : mostly useless, and helps with flavour and effervescence 

: citrate : has structural impact on bone formation : binds to Ca2+ in urine reducing stone formation : buffers lactic acid buildup

All this jives with intuition and experience, so up citrate.

Sun 13Jul2025, Sabbatical2 @2.296years ( year3; month28; week120; day838 )

1441 : Catching up on the highschool biology I skipped. krebb's cycle

1515 : Out Of Memory modelling has been an excellent aid to understanding the trade-offs I experience between physical conditioning and desk work. I will extend this study.

1516 : 

1541 : Given the nature of Malaysian tudung diplomacy, it would be more coherent, for global reasons, to reject the proposed US ambassador in favour of a morally conservative option.

Said it before, might as well log it. As a Malaysian holding few values in common with my countryfolk, I think accepting Nick Adams would be the funniest thing we got involved in for a long time. 

1548 : I think the best thing AI has done for education is to force a revival of the face to face tutorial. Sure, it IS scalable, just that in the future you must have a student alone in a room with its robot tutor. And later you have other technological countermeasures for remote tutorials, but that is for later.

1753 : preparing myself for a condo chore / heavy sigh / review of bylaws 

2302 : What a messy day.

Mon 14Jul2025, Sabbatical2 @2.299years ( year3; month28; week120; day839 )

0003 : Malaysia is an old man, whose public life is discontent, doing what people do, riding bicycles, taking a nap in public, featuring prominently on social media, across the spectrum from ridicule to awe. Malaysia DGAF

0114 : A slow month. So it is time to run yet again

0402 : Most chores clear : I guess it is time to return to studies, soon.

0432 : Don't be confused. Earning are flat. The DXY is down, and under continuous pressure. Equity risk premium is kicking in, as the Fed has managed to wait for almost everyone else to cut first ... and the Fed will moderate easing late into Jerome's term.

0526 : Another feckless day, amidst a feckless people. What an earth

2016 : social networking and national service : because bored

Tue 15Jul2025, Sabbatical2 @2.301years ( year3; month28; week120; day840 )

0502 : A scattering of social work.

0544 : SInce everyone's getting in a word on Epstein : 

Trump's rant : predictable distraction

FBI : releases doctored video ( WHAT ?! )

Scenario A : john is alive, extradited to safe space in employer's country

Scenario B : john is alive, space space under US control

Scenario C : john is dead : no one cares

Corollary : someone in the FBI conned Bondi into releasing the obviously doctored footage. There's a rat-rat.

0612 : While some celebrate or grieve the Malaysian civil court ruling about fatwas being inapplicable to artificial persons ... my sweet, summer children, in this day and age, you're going to find the concept of a natural person heavily besieged.

And if you don't think the notion of natural persons is controversial, then I probably don't want to explain why I am so bored living in Malaysia. Oh well, at least I have papers here -_-v

0643 : Time to target NO foods.

1634 : Reviewing memory plasticity today. I may need to do more visual-input-- spatial-rearchitecture-- muscular-output stuff. I thought just working out would be sufficiently stimulating for the somatic circuit, but it turns out the stated loop is still underutilised. I have to figure out what sorts of activities I can afford to engage it. Will think about it over coffee. Laundry and minor housekeeping have been the order of the day.

1800 : Malaysia's judicial kerfuffle. It actually doesn't matter how messy the situation is. The important thing is that the mess is front and centre in the press. Slow, but gradual, progress.

2101 : Malaysia should federate malls into transportation hubs. it takes moves some pressure to the private sector if there are many buses in a city and nationwide network

2254 : I used to spend a lot of time on lighting design for the cafe. At home I don't often have perfect lighting, but today I am thinking about it as I rest.

2353 : Earlier data pipeline concern resolved. it seems the more specific exercise was to engage visual imagination, instead of relying on external visual stimuli."

"Wed 16Jul2025, Sabbatical2 @2.304years ( year3; month28; week120; day841 )

0217 : At some point in life I will begin to get dumber and lose the ability to think fast, in multiple sense modalities, and lose the ability to learn. When?

0424 : Diplomacy is often shrouded in layers of convention which have no bearing on outcomes when the rubber hits the road.

1358 : anil seth : appears to have an understanding of the cognitive models i think about. i hope he succeeds

1412 : Observing recuperation rituals.

1510 : Doesn't matter if you think smart thoughts or dumb thoughts, eat nice food or nasty food, have cute friends or disgusting ones, longevity may be just down to how many active calories you manage to burn ... some say

2235 : Made a prototype AC vent for tests.

Thu 17Jul2025, Sabbatical2 @2.307years ( year3; month28; week120; day842 )

0500 : Accompanying a friend while they work. There is an Oasis concert on TV - it reminds me of work I used to do in college. I point out that they sound like late Beatles, Steel & Glass, etc. I am handed The Little Prince. The young fellow reminds me of my mother, similarly neurotic. He and the concert-goers remind me that most humans are only slightly more complex animals, not having a practice of moving beyond that. Ah, music.

0711 : Boys are so annoying. Sometimes criminally so

0759 : Traffic cop station at 8am

1055 : Why do people struggle so hard to stay alive? It is depressing to see what they put themselves through to achieve so little, and to avoid an easy conclusion.

I generally do not struggle. I enjoy reminding others to do less of it also. 

I suppose most of society as it is, is built from struggle. Struggle is a interesting way of life.

1109 : Another funny day. One case of sexual assault, one case of DMDD/IED, one parking ticket, one unhappy liaison, a prototype air duct, some pricing ratio charts, a shortage of citrus, a plastic chair repair, a new friend in a different country, a bit of constitutional controversy in the news, and ... some squats, of which I need to do more.

2044 : Let us go for groceries.

2140 : Trending among

religious conservatives :

❌ Coldplay

✅ Copelir

2355 : The notion that a human's perception of blue is anything more than a camera's is cute and silly. As for whether this is a a true or false proposition, that remains the talk of parties 😎

Fri 18Jul2025, Sabbatical2 @2.310years ( year3; month28; week121; day843 )

0607 : exhausting month.

1628 : Non-muslim dating in Malaysia is probably going to get marginally more difficult as the percentage of Muslims increases, I'm only 42 now and I can't imagine what meeting people and going for dates will be like when I'm 70, if I haven't died of boredom by then.

1643 : Enforced feeding. Recuperating nicely. Month still feels unproductive as a result of fatigue.

1724 : Get ready for the biggest bubble in the history of mankind.

Sat 19Jul2025, Sabbatical2 @2.312years ( year3; month28; week121; day844 )

0328 : Fund draw down is back to 38%, from 36% earlier today. Ho hum. At least I got a run in, and cleared one project off my calendar! 

0439 : twas a good day. i am getting snack amd putting myself to bed early 

0511 : Roughly : the standard for plausible deniability of harassment now, in Malaysia, is ""no reasonable grounds to believe their actions would be perceived as harmful or distressing""

0522 : It is ok to be proud of what you aspire to. So we have a diversity of aspirations, such that the same may be considered ""great"" by one, and ""mid"" by another, and repugnant by another still.

It is also ok to expect fools to perpetuate folly, sincerely believing that this is wise.

Only a will to power, can influence one to interfere in the lives of others.

Between such animals, humanity is that sum.

1522 : Rakyat tak nak lagi hadiah yang mewibawakan kelemahan akal.

Tolong membaiki perangkaan dan pembentukan dasar ekonomi jangkapanjang negarakita.

1719 : Holy hell, that was a long thread in the condo owners' group.

1720 : I guess at some point we want to date less, so the gist of our dating profiles is :

"" I am very odd. "" 

1725 : 1337code : 

Encyclopedic knowledge of fast algorithms is something better suited to a machine. 

The true test of a good engineer is their ability to verbalise and illustrate architecture, as a political economic concern. From the code, to the bottomline, so to speak.

:)

- I have no skin in this game currently, just yapping

1743 : Enforced feeding. Time for carbs.

1900 : Back in 2015, I made a dear friend, but we parted ways on schedule as they had to go on a long journey, and I thought it was a journey they should try alone. A decade later, they seem to have lodged themselves securely at least for a little while, in a powerful part of the world. hooray. 

Yet every now and then, I am reminded that they went through some very difficult times on the initial journey. And I wonder, what life would have been like if I had elected to go along for their protection.

No matter, times are past.

1917 : Folks are trying to inb4 PMX's sugartease : KWSP withdrawals? What?

There's not much (left) to withdraw, for most people. Some sort of US-style social security, UBI or long term ( monetary + wage + industrial output ) policy is more coherent at this stage.

2006 : Going for a run. The haze will probably kill me.

2008 : It would be pretty cool if Malaysia had US-style social security, where if you had 10-years of EPF contributions, you get a UBI from the age of 62.

Despite being 42, I have probably worked less than 10 years with EPF. haha

2011 : In my 20s, I probably spent less than 5% of my time on physical conditioning - I would have preferred 12.5%, or three hours a day. In my 30s, I spent several years on manual labour, so it is hard to calculate. At 42, I think 12.5% works. I wonder if it has to be like 21% or 5 hours a day, in later stages of life.

Sun 20Jul2025, Sabbatical2 @2.315years ( year3; month28; week121; day845 )

0038 : almost forgot to sell stuff to pay bills - that time of month again

0318 : I think there is enough space in my study for me to learn how to throw knives. But that is more capex I will not do for now.

0412 : Flip flopping between meta cognition of operating risk levels : too hard or too soft.

Clearly first world problem.

1610 : Til : acoustic is now slang for autistic

Now it is twice as convoluted

Mon 21Jul2025, Sabbatical2 @2.318years ( year3; month28; week121; day846 )

0423 : Like most lower priorities in life ... they don't stick to memory easily ... if I spend too long without pleasuring women, I forget how to pleasure women. It's all just athletics, I think.

0435 : Netanyahu has gone from beyond stupid, to attacking his only remaining allies. LOL

0610 : I've been an ostrich about financial markets for the last six months ( was mostly studying computing, and managed to catch up on running a bit ). I think I really need to spend at LEAST a week, if not a month catching up on fundamentals. 

Pathetic, but necessary.

0638 : It's a good year, relative to some of the trashy years I've had - on average, I would say it is an acceptable average. But I suppose I should aim for a better average, so maybe it is time to go turbo on Q3, then kick back a bit in Q4.

Current powers are insufficiently overwhelming. It is only my limited mind which is easily overwhelmed, between study targets, and homeostasis in society. Microeconomics ... the silly chores of life.

0800 : 100% neuromorphic architecture for AI is a complete waste of time. What makes humans human is mostly culture, fuck the genome. You only need to emulate the macrofunctions which underpin contemporary cultural concerns. Yes, those are all disputable.

1542 : Awake. Feeding. Study time. Yay, back to finance for a bit. Six months out of this ...

1600 : TIL : DEREC 

1838 : Time to eat the rice.

1928 : Housekeeping. Perhaps a run, soon.

1932 : Drop the temp.

1956 : When in doubt, increase tidiness of habitual environment, feed, exercise, and sleep.

2005 : Heart stops, breathing stops. You wait five, maybe ten minutes. You cut into rib cage without anesthesia ... heart resumes beating and body gasps : it stands to reason that in cold atmosphere, the system was still viable, and that the neural shock got things started again. Pity.

2112 : After all, the most volatile part of my schedule is social life. Even though I meet few people, I try to process them for determination of utility as quickly as possible, and that is somewhat taxing.

2130 : Time to descend for two hours, to the vulnerable streets.

2135 : Life is simple. We please ourselves. We help who we can. We laugh at everyone else. Then we expire.

Tue 22Jul2025, Sabbatical2 @2.321years ( year3; month28; week121; day847 )

0009 : Physical conditioning is just another drug. You want hormones, so you run 5km. After a while, you run 5km, and you don't get enough hormones anymore, so now you have to run 7km. Etc. I suppose one could always try to run faster, but that just changes the flavour of the things. Ah, fiddlesticks.

0131 : A lot of running these days. Also ran out of citrulline, and am wondering how much garlic is the equivalent dose in terms of NO production. Maybe not good to just depend on that and I should get seeds back on the menu.

0212 : Low priority social chores take up an inordinate amount of memory when they are scheduled ahead of time.

0218 : The one great disappointment I am sure I will live through : is that by the time I die, the other members of society will not yet have progressed to my preference for their behaviour. But hey! When you word it like that, I am a perfectly ordinary case of human. No chance of seeing the emborgment of our species, yet ... perhaps with genetic editing and the frailty of our meat, it is more likely than I would initially intuit.

0556 : Need to pay more attention to arm-swing. Technique is underutilising my upper-body. Crap form.

0613 : I am really looking forward to the day when I can read about frontier AI models and not have a ""are we still stuck here ffs "" reaction. 

0617 : 100 watts. That's about 3x an active human brain. That's the target for efficient anthropomorphic intelligence.

Fix your goddamn shitty math pls.

1921 : Alright. Many social chores clear. Now what

2058 : the hair has been cut ( again ) - time to return perhaps, to grammar studies

2111 : What baffles me is that, while there is much controversy about how Epstein died, there is less about whether he is dead or not.

2114 : A main fallacy is that ""throwing more neurons at the problem is the best way to solve it"" - but there are diminishing returns. At some point you're better off with a limited set of neurons, and a (maybe majority) chunk of non-neuronal architecture.

2127 : Tempted to buy more IKEA islands $66 but I should just rearrange my existing setup

2138 : Attempting to deprioritise natural language grammars, and to return to formal grammars now ...

2300 : til : crumb is the complement of crust

2305 : Trying to optimise garlic processing : today is for the study of advanced glycation end products

2331 : So roughly, it seems that garlic's role NO production is to stimulate Nitric Oxide Synthase, and so much in provision of the substrate L-arginine.

2357 : It makes me sad that 90+% of the people I have ever met, and will ever meet, will probably never be able to manage their emotions like a light switch. It gives one a sense that being born in a world of cripples can only inspire oneself to commit to a life in their assistance."

"Wed 23Jul2025, Sabbatical2 @2.323years ( year3; month28; week121; day848 )

0014 : Malaysian individuals' top priorities from high to low ( best guess ) :

1. God

2. Other people

3. Money

... ?. Physics 

0138 : People fear what they don't understand - and most people don't understand why they have feelings, so they fear things which have no feelings.

0219 : What a feckless day

And a droll month

And a tepid decade

What will the next one be like?

0240 : Attempt at energy efficiency :

- drop room air to match outdoor temp, or a degree below

- drop body temp to shiverish

- kill AC, unseal room

- enter sheets, given fan

0249 : I really hate being a babysitter. But when life gives you babies, you sit, or dispose of the children.

0413 : Not happy. Too much uncertainty. Too many babies to sit. Limited resources. Many things to do. Housekeeping needs doing ...

0421 : An hour or two more, of darkness to enjoy, before the blinding light.

0424 : Maybe the secret to happiness is to 

1) stop telling people when they are hurting themselves, and 

2) spend more time masturbating

Folks tell me that works wonders.

0432 : Time to unfollow more cheerleader accounts.

Too many reminders of psychological fraility around me.

1624 : Having had zero income for 2.5 years, today's helicopter money of RM100 /$24 is in its best case 2.5-3.0 days of TOTAL cashflow in my highly privileged setting. And for that I remain grateful. But no political goodwill is extended to Putrajaya for this. We need better 10/20/30-year economic execution.

2103 : Finally getting to read information theory, after 20+ years of knowing it's out there.

2115 : Continues to fascinate me how few ""AI/ML"" people actually understand the role of ""surprise"" in IT ... where by IT, I refer to information theory ( 1945 ), not information technology ( 1958 ). There is math for it, as ultimately it is just physics.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Information_content

2125 : Recap : roughly mid-JUN to mid-JUL was spent digging into some formal- and some natural-language- grammars. I seem to have taken most of JUL off to try and wrap my head around this, as it's been somewhat discombobulating. 

Need to take smaller bites of things, to reduce indigestion.

Today we restarted solid-ish food with information theory ...

2136 : And because I am not an intrinsically very smart person ( or because I generally try to study more than I can handle ) : what I can handle next is probably ... just a run

2154 : Lots of MgCl2 today ... I hope I don't get hypermagnesemia

Thu 24Jul2025, Sabbatical2 @2.326years ( year3; month28; week121; day849 )

0046 : My friend sent me the football racial drama. I said,

""Malaysia : where race is the only form of power that matters, but where race can be bought :P""

0303 : I wish I understood the bond market better. Trying to understand how MGII curves work is a bit opaque from my stupid desk.

0559 : Reducing my expectations for myself. Off to bed. Much to think about and work on.

0714 : Lichess study section : old man's approach to the end of life

1452 : So it really depends on your end-use for the code : do rigid stupid things, or actually behave like a meat brain : you kinda can't have it both ways, exactly. Because a machine can flawlessly follow the rule ""don't let experience change you"" but a natural meat brain cannot.

If you have completely separated [inference] and [training] stages in your architecture, without immediate feedback loops, then your model cannot be completely anthropomorphic and will resemble a much simpler machine than a human. The reason you may find this to be useful, is that most business logic is more suited to machines than humans, which is why humans often feel fatigued at work.

The more anthropomorphic architecture looks like :

[ QueryInput -> ComputeModel -> QueryOutput -> QueryFeedback ] N

Then N+1, where ComputeModel has been modified by N

... in continuous iteration in a single mode through training and inference activities.

I'm not sure who needs to hear this ... a lot of you grew up on LLMs as the first thing you knew about anthropomorphic intelligence.

1739 : I think I have the mental resources today to finally sew those cushion covers.

Fri 25Jul2025, Sabbatical2 @2.329years ( year3; month28; week122; day850 )

0112 : Two hour run, table to table. 13 km approximately. Slow ass motherfucker. Mostly focused on footwork proprioception. Cadence of 5-step-counts was found to be pleasant. I may need to check my beta alanine intake - it has been short. 

0326 : 2025 is pretty amazing. It's pretty much on-track for the focus on hermitude that I jumped into in 2001. While I darn socks to maintain my $10/day gradschool lifestyle, I listen to a podcast (by billionaires who got one of their hosts hired into the White House) talk about manipulating AI and crypto around the globe

It's fantastic. When I left the US in 2005, I was very loosely betting AGAINST immigration, healthcare, and debt economics, ON blue collar skills, and now they're trending

0703 : Sometimes I wonder if I will be schizophrenic in older age. Meanwhile I can probably do better with cluster management of the 500-700 rules (estimated) applicable to different datasets across my various projects.

1550 : Awake. Proceeding with enforced daydreaming. Soon to feed.

1623 : I am concerned that I may soon collect another peripheral project. Getting into the knitty-gritty of Malaysia's economic and industrial planning seems like it might happen. I just have to further diversify my readings :(

1635 : Feed feed feed ... athletics is such a chore.

1635 : Strategic benefit of SARA100 distribution :

- check on active MyKads

- personal data on consumption patterns

2202 : A simple day. Studies are slow. Friends are whingey. Finances are limited. So, one reduces expectations and consolidates about basic maintenance.

1. Eat

2. Play chess ( lichess elo under 900 ! )

3. Will run,soon.

Sat 26Jul2025, Sabbatical2 @2.332years ( year3; month28; week122; day851 )

0224 : 13km, 2 hours, lousy time, but no shin splints, and only slight calf AMS/cramps. Splurged on nutrients for the 2 hours and 24 hour period before though. Resumed beta alanine, doubled creatine ...

Not sure if my baseline is off. I don't want to develop too much dependency on high-nutrient diets. Hm. 

Always strange economics.

0433 : What a trip down memory lane, when your friends start dating your friends.

0535 : Most people are not interesting to most other people.

Some of us are just excruciating, in our project to discover who doesn't like us, and by how much.

0554 : The days are simple. Limited budget, so limited food, so limited exercise, so limited hormones, so limited learning capacity.

But maybe I should pump.

Sun 27Jul2025, Sabbatical2 @2.334years ( year3; month29; week122; day852 )

0930 : I am sometimes unpopular in the HOA Whatsapp group. Usually I am swatting appeals to common sense and basic human decency ... while I believe both exist, I am not convinced that either is a good thing to depend on in the intentional structure of society.

0954 : Malaysia is really boring. Don't take it too personally.

I don't think humanity, the planet, or the united nations as a whole are particularly admirable ... so you know, it's a rather neutral view.

2354 : I figured i was underdosing fat in my diet, so i mixed oil and vinegar and sipped it. Cleaned the bowl with toastNow i have to read about starch digestion, and ph, and fat coadmin

Mon 28Jul2025, Sabbatical2 @2.337years ( year3; month29; week122; day853 )

0134 : One of the Epstein girls said, Ghislane was the puppetmaster, in a televised interview. So if the Maxwell gossip holds water, that would make her Epstein's handler for the Mossad. lmao

0313 : Memory latency is markedly lower today. Now I have two free variables to check : either it is meat intake, or lipid intake, or both.

0433 : Standing by for Haaretz to get axed :-/

0556 : Hey, let's skip forward a couple of years. Consumer electronics have had more optical and auditory sensitivity than humans for quite a few years now.

However, robots today still have far lower densities of haptic and other somatic data sensors per unit of area and volume, than mammals.

They literally feel less! This will be a interesting space to watch as the gap closes.

0655 : ""json prompting""

They're bullets, John. Why do you think we write emails with bullets when we want shit to get done properly?

0951 : A day of miscellaneous home improvements and housekeeping.

1116 : TIL only 50% of CNS nerves are neurons, and the others, glial cells, may be responsible for metaprogramming.

Tue 29Jul2025, Sabbatical2 @2.340years ( year3; month29; week122; day854 )

0151 : I suppose in terms of art traditions, my political leanings would be towards dada. I mean, but my medium of choice tends to be information in general, and the substrate being what I perceive as the totalitarian boring uniformity of the human mind.

0300 : There is either a economic incentive or it's just shrill virtue signalling lol.

Good speech is an indicator of wealthy upbringing ... not an intrinsic good. It is sadly, rococo ...

0323 : 1Two of my disabled friends are speaking at a talk tomorrow. I am thinking of going in support, but my disability identity is actually ... that I feel the average person is disabled, and I have to stretch constantly to keep pace with society, as a supernormal performer.

0423 : Swapped shoes while i glue the nicer ones. Newer shoes today, have no gel midsoles, and have limited bounce. Funny how the nicer ones were bought ten years ago on clearance, for the cafe job. 

To take pressure off knees, hips were rotated to tilt the lower spine a little more backwards, to allow trotting instead of stomping.

Breath/step meter steady at 5/5.

0530 : early to bed."

"Wed 30Jul2025, Sabbatical2 @2.342years ( year3; month29; week122; day855 )

0620 : Reading corner sorted. Learnt a new idiom.

1129 : I have been quite socially active in 2025. Despite a general disappointment with the quality of individuals and institutions around me, I do try from time to time to exert influence on their paths. 2023 was busy about the HOA, and 2025 was busy about Malaysia in general.

So I need to make a point to dial it back in 2026 to focus on other things. For now I will maintain pace.

1237 : Guests out. Managed to get some housekeeping done. Enforced eating. More decluttering later.

1332 : So there is a thread on selling science via sex, where the science skank is insufficiently skanky to entice an audience who has no interest in science to begin with. Shocking.

I kid, but the alliteration was amusing, if only to me, and for all of seven seconds.

1928 : I have a friend who asked me to alter my hairstyle. I asked her if she wanted to remove her tudung - and if I wasn't messing with her style, why was she messing with mine?

😂

2040 : nice phat bleed-out of alts today - perhaps on the slim chance that the Fed will HIKE - meanwhile, there's also a symmetrical triangle not drawn in, and a ton of options open interest to be liquidated if BTCUSD nudges up slightly to 125k

what is life, if not a bouquet of choices

2335 : Let's do more housekeeping. Keeping expectations for personal performance low. Times are difficult, and resources are scarce!

Thu 31Jul2025, Sabbatical2 @2.345years ( year3; month29; week122; day856 )

0200 : I'm not an experienced equities forecaster. In my limited experience, a requirement for spotting parabolic PER however is ... some sort of thinking like a dumb person, because unreasonable expectations are their specialisation. 

After all, investment management from angel to VC, from PE to IPO, is a matter not of managing company fundamentals but of taking advantage of overhyped expectations in the market.

The business of managing company fundamentals is a different skill altogether. I would like to be good at both, but to-date I am not so sure if I like being the investment manager at all, though it seems like an amusing pastime.

0512 : week 122. decade at 23.4%. I have finally decided that I spend so much time reading IPE that it has become easier for me to read stock market behaviour than crypto markets. So now I really have to prioritise getting a global stock broker account.

0606 : 2024 was a whole year of juggling trauma from studies and fragile people in my environment. The people situation is somewhat improved so I need to see what I can progress about study.

0622 : Looksmaxxing? Sorry, genxy here ... I literally work hard on looksminning.

2203 : AI is probably more suitable to lower level code than higher. It is a shame this is not often discussed.

2247 : These days I have spent a lot of time, perhaps far too much, thinking about how my joints move. I'm not sure I would put it down to brain fog, as it seems my subconscious is busy iterating over concepts of grammar which I studied a month ago. Nevertheless, I suppose it is ordinary to rest for extended periods from time to time, particularly if there are passive developments in the same system. Seems like for now, that's just grammar, and running.

2333 : The key to understanding large texts is figuring out the 15, and 150 word summaries first.

Fri 1Aug2025, Sabbatical2 @2.348years ( year3; month29; week123; day857 )

0059 : I suppose the reason I don't work in marketing services, is that there is too much dependence on polishing turds, for people who want to sell things to dumb people. Professional brainrot :)

My first job interview after college was with a strategy head in an advertising agency, and they asked me what I knew about marketing, and I spoke some version of the above. I was offered an internship which I didn't accept - the notion of being incapable of professional brainrot did not seem like a good offer. I might have considered it more seriously if they had offered a job.

0225 : Runtime

0515 : Sorry, lah, can think of very few commercial activities which are not what I'd call brainrot lol ... what I have found amusing today, is being reminded that people in commerce who are proud of their intellects take offense at this expression.

0535 : Capping distance at 13 clicks. Now I can focus on speed and work towards no walking.

1434 : There's a meme making the rounds, that physics is easier than finance. I think that depends on your gifts.

I've been a STEM enthusiast since I was 8. But i didn't get to specialise early due to an absence of infrastructure support. By the time I was 14, I had figured that I was in a higher percentile of people managers than STEM nerds. After spending 18 years focused on commercial brainrot, I'm 24% through a decade set aside for catching up on STEM.

Sat 2Aug2025, Sabbatical2 @2.351years ( year3; month29; week123; day858 )

0316 : Next : need hotter soldering iron 

0319 : Pulling out all the handicaps for sleep now. Upper-back support structure, which I used in the 2010s at the cafe. Body-pillow hotdogged in a comforter, which I used in college. The structures, not the same hardware.

Mainly because I seem to be having less than ideal sleep this year.

0351 : Housekeeping this year : storage under the bunk, now positions project pigeonholes next to to workbench :)

Sun 3Aug2025, Sabbatical2 @2.353years ( year3; month29; week123; day859 )

1544 : The banality of good.

Someone needs to make it a thing.

1551 : There's an ongoing campaign to promote STEM in Malaysia which seems a bit funny if it wasn't so tragic. Campaign focus appears to be :

- ""glory"" (gross)

- ""grades"" (ok, but um)

- ""production values"" (ok)

- ... there is actually a consumer product being sold, and I haven't figured out the message yet, but I suppose if they keep it up, I'll figure it out eventually 

1640 : While I actively promote awareness of deficiencies in Malaysia's quality of governance ... it certainly doesn't come from any sort of nationalistic pride. For me it is more a matter of adjusting one's neighbours as a matter of convenience. I always wonder if and when I'll just get locked up or kicked out. 

1718 : People who identify with food are a special kind of retard.

Mon 4Aug2025, Sabbatical2 @2.356years ( year3; month29; week123; day860 )

0113 : Caught up on sleeep. Time to feed, I suppose.

0213 : Monday 0212 hours. Desk. First order of business : update accounts. Second, check market fractals.

0238 : In my study of the poor ( 2005-2023 ), nothing engaged me with the mentally ill, more than operating a cafe.

It was quite interesting to observe the nature of prejudice, trauma, triggers, self-harm, and societal effects, across all of shareholders, staff, customers, and the general public.

An amazing time to have been alive. A necessary study of the state of people, today.

0331 : Seasonal fractals + all things considered : SEP'25

BTCUSD 115k +/- 25k is ""within expectations""

LOL

0339 : From my kindergarten desk : it looks like the SUSD/USD depegs are just strategic manipulation to depress SNX/USD for later accumulation.

What do I know. I've spent like a total of 3-4 hours of my life looking into this.

0556 : Some housekeeping happned

1413 : Panda is synonymous with goth ball.

I said what I said

1538 : Time to resume dumb bell exercises from 2006/7 ...

1546 : It's beigtch. Plural, beigtches (solution for folks unsatisfied with ""mixed"")

Tue 5Aug2025, Sabbatical2 @2.359years ( year3; month29; week123; day861 )

0105 : Good morning. Will I be exit liquidity today?

0234 : Based on 1D charts, BTCUSD should be in an interesting place in 2D

0522 : Darned sock. Reinstalled drawstring. Done chores.

0641 : Dumbbellls are back from the car. 20 years of math and lifting to catch up on. I've been pretty happy with all the things I got done meanwhile, while I put these on hold.

0846 : 23.6% through the decade for development. As usual, the fundamental bottleneck is a question of energy : how much to spend on food, and how to maximise development around that.

1043 : So, when I was 20, I figured the worst case was 120, and I knew what I was going to do until I was 40. Now at 42, I find myself fixing lower priorities which I had set aside temporarily : mainly the economics of food and exercise. Later, I expect to do more math.

 

I have been waiting for AI stuff for quite a while - cryptocurrency has been surprising not because of its existence, but because of how much faith has been invested in rather poor technology fundamentals. AI is currently half-baked, and will need to completely absorb spatio-sensory algorithms before succeeding at anthropomorphism, and a later end-game."

"Wed 6Aug2025, Sabbatical2 @2.362years ( year3; month29; week123; day862 )

0312 : Time to feed

1030 : Oh. Have not properly stretched feet since ramping i on running last month ... fix in progress.0445. Before it gets too bright, it is time to haul my bitch ass out for a run ...

2157 : Only plebs go to college, in order to make more money. But plebs make the world what it is, so on with it.

2239 : Sounds like a guy who has all the cards, but doesn't know what to play, and doesn't want to think about how in the long run all the cards are redealt.

Thu 7Aug2025, Sabbatical2 @2.364years ( year3; month29; week123; day863 )

0635 : In terms of happiness, I find it structurally easier to be happy with near zero power, than to collect enough power to meet an unlimited demand for power.

What remains is that collecting power becomes a game with very limited downside and unlimited upside.

I have found this to be an uncommon, and what i consider highly privileged, approach to life.

0733 : Awake. Cleared inboxes and journalling. Time to feed. Work out today is probably calisthenic

Fri 8Aug2025, Sabbatical2 @2.367years ( year3; month29; week124; day864 )

0440 : King of Malaysia visits Putin in Moscow. Quote, ""friendship is more important than money"" : seems like Malaysia is veering into risk-on mode with BRICS, and the associated US sanctions, i.e. the second-world, from our initial third-world status

0704 : I suppose this is a novel study for me, as I have not done it before. One input, two outputs, looking for maximum conversion. Food, learning, and functional muscle.

0857 : Accidental soap liquification factory. What a mess. This farmhouse stuff will be the death of me

1227 : I tend to try and learn something from every interaction with society. Doubtless, I have spent wayyy too much time hoping to learn things from stupid people.

1354 : Moderate methylcobalamin protocol : before bed OR at breakfast depending on the more pressing need ... to sleep better, or to work faster.

1425 : Getting saturated with whingey clowns in my inboxes again. Maybe time to reduce social outreach for a bit.

Sat 9Aug2025, Sabbatical2 @2.370years ( year3; month29; week124; day865 )

0310 : Up for the day. Probably physical conditioning next, then a 10am-12pm meeting hehe

0503 : Body squats for today. Low impact, targeted, knee extention.

0600 : Playing with a stick for coordination and stretching. Haven't ever done this properly. Maybe these are the years when it gets developed.

0611 : Finally, a sytematic study of stretching lol. This one has been postponed over 32 years, since my teachers hauled us out on the field just down the street.

0636 : Maybe I will finally get to progress from horse to split. Hah

0709 : Horse stance. Then alternately straightening then rebending each knee, without lifting feet from floor.

0742 : Turns out a trick to stabilise the core while sauatting, is to have a single item gripped in two hands. A mere stick does rhe trick 

0809 : Happy saturday to you. I go to meet some Malaysian philosopher fellow for brunch. Let's see what the game is

1432 : Wondering at this point ... what if I get stuck on physical conditioning for years?

Sun 10Aug2025, Sabbatical2 @2.373years ( year3; month29; week124; day866 )

0847 : Awake. Commented on local life and politics. Next, to feed and continue with physical conditioning.

Mon 11Aug2025, Sabbatical2 @2.375years ( year3; month29; week124; day867 )

1334 : BTCUSD spiked up to just below the long-term log resistance ... I guess it'll likely be around 125k soon enough ... the long-term linear resistance.

Tue 12Aug2025, Sabbatical2 @2.378years ( year3; month29; week124; day868 )

1111 : Many projects and people to think about. Perhaps time to sit and think for a bit.

1543 : ESG makes all the difference in dating. There are cute and horny people everywhere. You can probably figure out the S and the G. But the E is about creating an environment that doesn't create a incel problem.

1935 : Citrulline and sodium ascorbate are stocked-in.

1950 : Er, and post dose : neurological function is up. What gives? 

2155 : Neurotransmitter and carnitine synethesis cofactor. Right. 

2255 : It would be really funny if i managed to collect enough relevant friends to setup a skincare company.

2320 : 1. As a Malaysian, I personally don't care what happens to the flag. 2. I think people who care about such things are poor in the head and not contributing to the nation's economy. 3. If the law says this or any other action is illegal, then DAP should STFU and leave it to the AGC.

2346 : I was just sharing with an agency friend, how I had to pivot from social media, to SEM, at the indie cafe I used to run. Good times. Strange forcing factors. Socmed is like farming - SEM is like tuning a jet engine. It's sometimes unbelievable, the lengths I went through to keep that unit online. Haha. Perhaps I should blog it at some point."

"Wed 13Aug2025, Sabbatical2 @2.381years ( year3; month29; week124; day869 )

1000 : Awake. Physical conditioning shall proceed again.

1300 : Hm. As one account depletes, another account accumulates. While the average is probably doing ok, I should probably take the signal to reassign cognitive resources from other work, to income, for a bit.

1337 : If ETH.D mean reversion persists ... we'll be looking at ETHUSD > 6k very shortly.

1652 : Perhaps a good day for a run. Inflammation checks on various points on my body. Diet checks on common inputs. Ok, let's give it a go.

2024 : Hakikatnya, tiberlah masanya saya cuba membenangkan apa2 yg berkenaan dengan msia dalam BM je. BI bhasa ibundaku, dan BM merupakan bhasa ke3 yg sy belajar. Kerja saya lebih pd STEM/STKM? dan bahan bacaan lbh jg pd BI. Msia memang tidak mementingkan STKeM, jadi seumur hidup sy, sy tak berapa mementingkan msia. Huhu

Kini saya 24% dalam sedekad yg diperuntukkan bagi pembelajaran STKeM. Pergerakan sosia sy krg, lebih pd medsos je.

Wasalam

Bende bknMY, saya masih guna BI je .. Sng skt sy menyampah

2046 : Parlimen hari ini : Saya harap PAS boleh menjadi parti yg senang dihormati, sepertimana Islam adalah agama yg senang dihormati. Tapi kelakuan partini, menjadikan dirinya sesuatu yg kabur.

Thu 14Aug2025, Sabbatical2 @2.384years ( year3; month29; week124; day870 )

0327 : Awake again. Time to evaluate post-run recovery. And feed. 

0649 : Selamat pagi mamat2 yg amat membosankan. Buat kerja ape rini?

0853 : What I have observed of people, is that they often rely on their social circle to stimulate them, shall we say hormonally, thus recovering their cognitive capabilities.

I generally don't have any social counterparties which are particularly stimulating to me, so I tend to stimulate myself for recovery of cognitive capabilities. Then, whenever I have spare resources, I embark upon exploratory projects of social engagement, to see if there are any changes I would like to make in the world, or for casual entertainment.

I suppose I learnt this mode of function from my parents. 

1254 : Sudahpun alam pemilihanraya Msia berdasarkan politik identiti perkauman, selama 5-6 dekad. Takkan baru u tau bende ni yg menghalang kemajuan identity kaum Malaysia ketimbang kaum2 pra-Malaysia

1314 : Sudah sampailah masanya saya kena baca dan memahami SOSMA dan OSA dengan terperinci 

2103 : All-in Podcast was super cute this month. Kinda surreal to hear these super rich/ powerful/ popular guys realise stuff that other people have known about and/ or expected for years and years. Continues to be a great way to keep track of what the mediocre mainstream thinks. That's why I tune in.

Fri 15Aug2025, Sabbatical2 @2.386years ( year3; month29; week125; day871 )

Sat 16Aug2025, Sabbatical2 @2.389years ( year3; month29; week125; day872 )

Sun 17Aug2025, Sabbatical2 @2.392years ( year3; month29; week125; day873 )

1331 : Lepas semak komen2 rakyat keatas wayang2 yg menjadi kebawangan negarakita ... I ingat mungkin terbaik klo aku mewakili pandangan : hal perundangan patut ditumpukan pada aras kebangsaan, hal perasaan patut diruruskan pada aras persendirian

Lain kali pulak i kena memperbaiki BM saya keatas halni 😂

1456 : Kebangaan seseorang, ataupun senegara, iaitu kelemahan utamannya. 

2330 : Week full of socials. Somewhat overextended and needing to review P&L impact.

Mon 18Aug2025, Sabbatical2 @2.395years ( year3; month29; week125; day874 )

1223 : Yang kata dirinya lurus, sendirinya songsang. Jadi tanpa sebarang kebencian, terjadila bahan lawak. 😂

1231 : Risk-off for now. Time to feed, I suppose. Then time to consolidate memories and iterate on hypotheses.

1446 : Perhaps the current wave of antibullying reactionaries in Malaysia will finally pivot the K12 SEL syllabus to a more schengen model. One can hope :p

1700 : Empirically : meditation in simple terms, involves minimising input data, and observing the body's output processes on a twitch by twitch, and idea by idea resolution.

1820 : it's amusing how many people are so socially dependent, that they can't reach an optimal configuration without a contractually dedicated caregiver. I don't think about it much, but sometimes the work orders remind me.

Tue 19Aug2025, Sabbatical2 @2.397years ( year3; month29; week125; day875 )

0755 : Mixed a batch of protein. Cut a watermelon at 5am. Pacing myself through the month. Knees not done recuperating.

1511 : IG : a 19yo had their 5th child

Secular law in Malaysia has definitions for children up to 18yo.

Syariah law and civil law may have definitions for marriage at ages below that.

I am bookmarking this to read up on, the current practices at the intersection of these laws, with regards for Council of Rulers as the heads of Islam in each State.

1612 : After a 1 year procrastination, I restarted painting my car. Now I have to buy more paint. At least I disposed of gas-mask virginity. Lol

1745 : TIL ""cap"" has the same semantics as ""kafir"""

"Wed 20Aug2025, Sabbatical2 @2.400years ( year3; month29; week125; day876 )

0159 : Siapa fikirkan nama bunga adalah masalah ... mindanya yg turut terjajah walaupun tiadapun bhasa bukan Melayu disekitarrr hahahah

0239 : August 2025 in Malaysia has been a flurry of dramatic headlines. Historians can give you the details. But what I have come to realise is this :

1. parliament is still full of issues which should be solved at the agency level; issues are being brought to parliament mainly for their dramatic value ( not new, but still a poor way of running the country, even if we've been at it this way for years ); you could say this is the case in every country - isn't it?

2. the only way this reduces, is if party whips decide to reduce it.

3. the (G)overnment whip is Anwar Ibrahim. While his story is wild, much of his skillset involves selling stories, not building systems ... so we are not going to see a reduction in unnecessary drama brought to parliament in the short-term

4. the circus has modernised somewhat, but it's still, just a circus

1541 : 1. Palestine is winning the political arena, and more nations are willing to recognise it as a state 

2. Israel is escalating its land grabs, in a preemptive move against 1.

3. what will happen next?

1734 : Auto detailing feels like an hour a day for a week. Literally a week of waiting for paint to dry, and for bones to heal.

Thu 21Aug2025, Sabbatical2 @2.403years ( year3; month29; week125; day877 )

0054 : I was asked when I was last truly angry.

How do we compare this between each person's notion of anger? 🤷🏻

My friend was annoying recently, but i checked in on them and they are stabilised. Is that true anger?

What if i nonchalantly kill someone - certainly not an angry motivation ... 

0144 : Even if i am not angry, it is useful to say I am angry as a matter of negotiation. 🫶🏼

1423 : Windy. A good day for sanding, not painting.

1602 : On the use of in-group slang : When I heard a classmate of mine had passed last year, my first reaction was actually, ""LeLLy?"" which was a term they used to scribble around as an ironic corruption of ""really?"". But I didn't write it in comments as I figured most others wouldn't get the joke. Strangely in the dredges of my memory they also at least once annoyed someone by saying they wished to live till only 40. And there they went around the age of 40.

1912 : Hyponatremia 

1918 : come on, Jerome, be a good troll tomorrow...

Fri 22Aug2025, Sabbatical2 @2.405years ( year3; month29; week126; day878 )

2322 : MBL drama - one thing I'd see is the ousting of a 5% shareholder in a company equally controlled by two other minorities.

That's just a strange look, until it's shown that the final allocation is rebalanced 50:50

Sat 23Aug2025, Sabbatical2 @2.408years ( year3; month29; week126; day879 )

0921 : -Kaum, keluarga, dan negara, tak banyak kesan pada identiti ataupun jiwa saya. Biarkan birokrat & politikus membuat hal. Kerja saya banyak tak mengira kaum.

0939 : While Andrew seems like an incredibly naive person, the same is said of all kinds of atheists, theists and professors of ideology with and without qualification.

Hate mainly hurts the haters :p 

🌞enjoy the burn

0940 : Nasiparuteh at Nilai

1005 : Senang sakit hati itu kemaluan sebangsa Malaysia

1413 : I was practicing my BM poetry and FB lost my draft, so I am fucking pissed. Lmao

1531 : Just had a walk behind Pearl Point Shopping Complex. The gentrification of a mature neighbour is quite moderate here. It's exemplary.

2246 : apapetaka harini

2248 : 🌞 today i learnt, the security control room will not help me call a locksmith if i am locked out. So I had to borrow money, buy a hanger, and break into my car again

2253 : Given what I can see on social media ... all these vigilantes, Muslim or otherwise, are ridiculous. Ridiculous.

It's like if I went to my neighbour and started telling him that I didn't want to talk to him anymore, because I found out that his sister bought Labubus.

LMAO

2347 : Para netizen, minta tukar topik. Tolong bahaskan :

""should we sacrifice children to moloch?""

Sun 24Aug2025, Sabbatical2 @2.411years ( year3; month29; week126; day880 )

Mon 25Aug2025, Sabbatical2 @2.414years ( year3; month29; week126; day881 )

0025 : Para netizen, minta tukar topik. Tolong bahaskan :

""should we throw grapes at mangoes?""

1820 : Fixed various car things over the past week. Whee.

Tue 26Aug2025, Sabbatical2 @2.416years ( year3; month29; week126; day882 )

0101 : Given a choice I probably wouldn't pick Malaysia as a citizenship destination. But being born with NRIC, i malas nak tukar haha. Simple je

0613 : After some BM writing exercises today, I noticed that between the USA and Malaysia,

US : socially to the left, economically to the right

MY : socially to the right, economically to the left

... this is quite a leaky abstraction. But it may be useful for orienting future discussions about local stuff, against the global axis. Sic

0638 : (in reply to a question about what pressures crazy rich asians to take illegal substances; trending topic because of iqbal anak sabri's headlines) Kalau pengunaannya terkawal, pelbagai dadah terlarang merupakan cara hidup biasa bagi ramai warganegara.

Larangan perundangan menyebabkan kegiatan2 pembuatan, jaminan kualiti perindustrian, dan peniagaan bergerak dari keadaan cerah kepada gelap, tanpa pemantauan, kutipan hasll, dan tadbir urus rasmi.

Yg lebih merumitkan : orang kaya lebih senang lari dari penguatkuasaan undang2. Sebab masyarakat kita tidak menumpukan ketatakelolaan yg adil ... lebih mementingkan orang kaya.

Sy hanya marhaen:)

0654 : It's really the civic duty of every citizen to participate in debate on national policy. This is true as a matter of formality, even if citizens have no feelings about the country.

The quality of debate improves with a detailed understanding of the law, but generally Malaysians suffer from an appreciation of personal opinions without clearly mapping it to law in their arguments.

Keep it up!

1443 : Senangje : kita patut mewartakan undang kecil bahawa Jalur Gemilang terbalik / tersongsang dianggap masih berhormat, selepastu satu negara boleh alihkan tenaga kpd kerja yg lbh membina lol

1508 : (Andrew Chong's arrest under speech laws) It's a good thing. Judgment will create precedents of how laws are interpreted, to allow/ discourage future behaviours of the rakyat. Dude is taking one for the team, regardless of intent. But will the executive branch / AGC / PMX let it go to trial?

1533 : Penahanan Andrew Chong demi penyiasatan mengenai undang2 suara adalah sesuatu yang membangunkan negara. Sabitan makhamah mewujudkan perhakiman terdahulu. Ini akan membenarkan atau mengecilkan hati rakyat mengenai kegiatan berkenaan. Mengabaikan niatnya, dorang masih menyumbang kepada perkembangan tadbir urus sebangsa Malaysia. Tapi, akankah cabang eksekutif / AGC / PMX akan membenarkan perhakiman di sini?

1724 : War is never simple. Power meets power, and wins are usually decided by attrition ... some people, give up ground voluntarily. We should not trivialise that complexity by accusing any individual party of representing others who look like that individual.

We should encourage people to argue about dangerous things, without feeling hurt. That is civilisation ..."

"Wed 27Aug2025, Sabbatical2 @2.419years ( year3; month30; week126; day883 )

1155 : A lot of social chores done, as of yesterday

 More coming up, but time to reset resource layouts per day.

1252 : As an 8yo, I was planning for life at 18.

At 21yo, I had directions set for 40.

At 42yo, it seems appropriate to plan around 80.

Clearly, I don't have many friends or coworkers.

1256 : Perhaps today is for lifting 

1706 : Home again after several days on the road.

Time to calibrate priorities.

1750 : Hati dan akal termaktub setubuh. Klo terhasut, tersesakla jiwa sekali. Kelemahan manusia : ada yg terima, ada yg membantah, ada yg memuji diri. Lihatla mana terpilih, ikutje arus ekonomi.

1754 : All policy proposals targeting behavioural adjustment, must be deemed unrealistic, unless accompanied by a coherent model of incentives / penalties.

1810 : Lifting has begun. Working on jerk today.

1817 : I have severe prejudices. Due to my upbringing, I do not feel productive when investing too much time in physical conditioning or commerce. So, I have gone lengths to counteract these biases.

1855 : Log shows 14d gap between work-outs of any kind. I guess that was calisthenics, social chores and car work. 

Reading up on HRV, NO logistics, and other related things between sets.

Thu 28Aug2025, Sabbatical2 @2.422years ( year3; month30; week126; day884 )

1102 : Today's is a study of proprioception and protein.

1110 : US margin financing near all time highs. BRACE 

1257 : Masyarakat hanya berasaskan rangkaian kebonekaan. Dlu kata ""wayang"" la. Marhaen boneka kepada kerajaan, setiap cabang kerajaan boneka pulak kepada pihak2 mengikut ekonomi semasa. Begituje ciri2 sains dan kejuruteraan tatakelola. Betapa baiklah klo Malaysia menggiatkan budaya pengajian sains politik dan ekonomi, bagi mencerahkan isu2 semasa kpd org ramai.

1406 : Oops. Mould garden in the rice pot. Shouldn't have closed the lid before the daily smegma dried out.

1524 : Paid a bill. Put in a liquidation order. Put in two procurement orders for instant coffee and some air-cond cleaning bag. Alright, a few chores.

2030 : Tidied up some plumbing supplies packed 5.5 years ago. Some things take time. Maybe some things will never be.

Fri 29Aug2025, Sabbatical2 @2.425years ( year3; month30; week127; day885 )

1715 : ingested a note on liver energy stores being recoverable in six hours, but muscle stores needing almost 24 hours. shall adjust schedule accordingly

1717 : Situationships are a word used by people who are uncomfortable with uncertainty in relationships.

Sat 30Aug2025, Sabbatical2 @2.427years ( year3; month30; week127; day886 )

1210 : Awake. Salt cycle enters hypertonicity.

1646 : Awake. An ordinary day. Housekeeping. Feeding. Attention to salt and protein cycling. Social work. Checking in on friends. Inboxes. An ordinary day, so far.

Sun 31Aug2025, Sabbatical2 @2.430years ( year3; month30; week127; day887 )

2010 : Perhaps it is time for a run. Malaysian social media today has been all sorts of racism.

2304 : Ok, 72 hour running cycle seems to work. Today noted to go faster when bored, and slower when anxious. Great abstractions.

Mon 1Sep2025, Sabbatical2 @2.433years ( year3; month30; week127; day888 )

0108 : Oh yes, so it turns out that a daily 13km is like 30km every other day, because of how slow muscle fuel stock-in is. Geez

Tue 2Sep2025, Sabbatical2 @2.436years ( year3; month30; week127; day889 )

0116 : Perasaan tu, kegiatan haiwan, dan kebanggaan orang bongok.

Saya harap satu hari, manusia terlepas daripada ketololani ... tapi kebarangkalian besar, ianya takan terjadi sepanjang umur saya.

Hahahaha"

"Wed 3Sep2025, Sabbatical2 @2.438years ( year3; month30; week127; day890 )

0216 : A few weeks of pedestrian work, allows for some reflection along the way. Since I rotated out of familiar subjects to unfamiliar ones, for diversification, growth is slow. While waiting for my body to catch up with my ambitions, I have had more time for social life and social work. Lmao

1257 : Brain not growing fast enough. Hm

1921 : Awake again. Time to feed.

2113 : Coordination poor. Raising hypertonicity. 

2245 : In college, my practice of charity was sending unused money to build wells. A lifetime later, my practice of charity is is talking to idiots on the Internet.

Thu 4Sep2025, Sabbatical2 @2.441years ( year3; month30; week127; day891 )

1225 : Tajuk hari ini : rate cuts and stagflation

Fri 5Sep2025, Sabbatical2 @2.444years ( year3; month30; week128; day892 )

0346 : Antara timun dan anjing, bawang tetap menang.

0449 : Neuro typical/divergent terminology is astrology for snowflakes with science envy.

0453 : Day 892. Year 2.444, nearing a quarter into the decade. Survival is a prudent question. I have lived a life filled with more privilege than I can possibly consume in a lifetime. So as always, the only question that remains, is how to spend the days.

Sat 6Sep2025, Sabbatical2 @2.447years ( year3; month30; week128; day893 )

0406 : some housekeeping of hardware, and more reflections on physical weakness, were pursued 

1221 : Operations currently revolve around physical conditioning.

1338 : Time to lift. 

1405 : The human body is a hormone pump. The entire process of intelligence in meat, has a structural dependency on getting the right hormones into place in the right amounts, otherwise human intelligence is a non-starter.

Tubuh manusiala pam hormon. Keseluruhan proses kecerdasan dalam daging, mempunyai kebergantungan wajib ke atas keadaan hormon, pada tempat lagipun dalam jumlah yang sesuai, jika tidak, kecerdasan manusia adalah tak berkemulaan.

1549 : Salt up.

2037 : Reviewing mineral cofsctors of protein absorption.

2056 : Napped. Enforced feeding. Maybe back to housekeeping after that. Bike is up for a check.

2132 : KPM : jagala kebersihan kita

Org Msia : ok ( cakapje )

Ompute : KL has so much litter, let me show you how to pick it up

Org Msia : kita ubah ( hopefully :p )

2142 : kat apps menjodoh selalunya dorang kata dorg mencari jodoh yg ""setia""; soalan kegemaran sy pulak akn tny dorg, apakah maksud itu ""setia""?

Yg pandai, dorg boleh huraikan ciri2 yg dorg nak

Selalunya dorg xnak atau xblh menjawab soalanni.

Org yg ikut perasaan tnp klausa tertentu, hoi, kita tak bazir banyak masa samanya.

Sun 7Sep2025, Sabbatical2 @2.449years ( year3; month30; week128; day894 )

Mon 8Sep2025, Sabbatical2 @2.452years ( year3; month30; week128; day895 )

Tue 9Sep2025, Sabbatical2 @2.455years ( year3; month30; week128; day896 )

0352 : I've been short USA since 2005. That's only 20y, and I might see this through another 60-80y if I'm unlucky enough to live long. But it's not a position I commit to or think about daily. More a matter of specific decisions at a specific point in time. Meanwhile I've started catching up on global macro since 2023, gradually. Maybe I will learn something useful from this study. 

0353 : With smart friends, you can point out their errors and watch corrections happen in real time.

With dumb friends, they're not improving, so you might as well write fables and hope someone else learns from their mistakes.

0434 : at this point in the 5ish-year cycle, it's a benign point to note that XAUUSD and BTCUSD are headed up ... the only really interesting question is, when does BTCXAU start to crash? 😎🤪

0508 : The week looks like more hardware housekeeping and physical conditioning.l

1322 : Awake. Checking in on the various childlike people under management. Time to feed. Then back to hardware.

1546 : I guess the efficient pattern is for me to just write stream of consciousness in English, then repost in MLY when i have time to translate

2339 : Laundrryyy. Painting two frames is going to take two days, I think."

"Wed 10Sep2025, Sabbatical2 @2.458years ( year3; month30; week128; day897 )

0048 : Taksub. Takjub. Kagum. Pilu. Kayal. Sekaliannya nadi pengalaman manusia, dan teras nilai kemanusiaan ... bagi sesetengah orang. Bagi orang lain, ianya radas kuno yang terbaiknya ditinggalkan.

Ada yang akan berseru, ""mayoritas, mayoritas!"" tetapi pendapat majoriti tidak pernah menjadi bukti keterusan kejayaan. Tiap orang akan meletakkan pertaruhannya sewajarnya./ Limerence. Wonder. Awe. Grief. Fantasy. These are the heart of the human experience, and the core of human values ... for some. For others, these are primitive tools that are better discarded.

Some will cry, ""the majority, the majority!"" but majority opinions have never been proof of perpetual success. Everyone places their bets accordingly.

1543 : Tiada* sesiapapun pikir Melayu bodoh pada teras biologi. Kebanyakan pengutuk ingat Melayu berbudaya manja, dan bergantung kepada politik manja-dimanjakan.

Dasar2 kemanjaan ekonomi mengikut kaum tiada la dalam perlembagaan negaraku. Kebanyakan dasar memanjakan mana2 pihak adalah rekaan ahli politik yg pandai menganjurkan sifat manja-memanjakan ini.

Setiap pembentangan isu ini perlu berpaksikan pembacaan perlembagaan - undang2 saja yang menyatukan pelbagai kaum sebagai satu bangsa dan negara.

1709 : Okla, kari hermerdekaan dah lepas seminggu ... bolehla kita kembali kpd rancangan kegemaran rakyat iaitu dengki, derhaka, dan isu perkauman ...

1710 : (status bumiputera disoalkan) Perundangan bersuara meletakan larangan terhadap pelbagai jenis perbincangan dan tindakan mengenai tajuk ini. Tapi pada dasarnya, ia boleh dibincangkan bagi tujuan pemahaman perundangan negara. 

Dorang boleh digalakan membuat kajian sendiri mengenai mekanisme perundangan bagi memahami jawapan kpd soalan dorang. 

Kita patutla abaikan pertikaman perasaan, dan tumpukan pendidikan ta2kelola kebangsaan bagi setiap org

1718 : TIL : polyamides like nylon : i.e. most microfibre cloth : is degraded by NaOH

1952 : Ridiculously high opex over the past month. Need to move some clients into risk-off protocols. Lol

Thu 11Sep2025, Sabbatical2 @2.460years ( year3; month30; week128; day898 )

1204 : 200m hit on 4cm diameter target. Phew.

2209 : There is no compulsion in Jernglam : my standard response to friends who are unhappy with me.

2227 : Ending a few weeks of hardware studies and clearing tools from my car.

Fri 12Sep2025, Sabbatical2 @2.463years ( year3; month30; week129; day899 )

2312 : Busy days. Not much sleep. Time to launder.

Sat 13Sep2025, Sabbatical2 @2.466years ( year3; month30; week129; day900 )

1602 : What I see in humans as a developmental disability : dissatisfaction with oneself, resulting from an absence of affirmation from others. This leads people to all sorts of pathological concerns for others ... from the point of view of the sick, the healthy person is a narcissist.

Well, politics is always fun. // Saya nampak pada manusia, sesuatunya kecacatan perkembangan : ketidakpuasan hati terhadap diri sendiri, akibat ketiadaan pengesahan daripada orang lain. 

Ini membawa kepada pelbagai kebimbangan berpathologi untuk orang lain ... dari sudut pandangan orang sakit, orang yang sihat adalah seorang narsis.

Nah, politik sentiasa menyeronokkan.

1605 : Pada keseluruhannya, orang biasanya takut mati.

Bagi mengurangkan ketakutan, ramai mempercayakan akhirat.

Pencabaran citraan kedua, adalah perangsangan khawatiran takterselesai terhadap keadaan pertama. Jadi ini menyeksakan mereka yang gelisah.//People generally fear death. 

To reduce their fears, many believe in life after death.

To challenge the latter, is to stimulate their unresolved fear of the former. So this is painful for the fearful.

Sun 14Sep2025, Sabbatical2 @2.468years ( year3; month30; week129; day901 )

Mon 15Sep2025, Sabbatical2 @2.471years ( year3; month30; week129; day902 )

Tue 16Sep2025, Sabbatical2 @2.474years ( year3; month30; week129; day903 )

0037 : Saya ingat pada manusia, adanya kecelaan kemajuan itu : ketidakpuasan terhadap diri, akibat ketiadaan pengesahan pihak lain. 

Ini membawa kepada kepelbagaian bimbangan bobrok terhadap orang lain ... pada pandangan orang sakit, orang sihat pula yang narsis.

Nah, politik sentiasa menyeronokkan.

- percubaan pentafsiran ke2

0049 : Saya berkaum cina, berwarganegara Malaysia, tapi tak berapa mengutamakan identiti budaya cina atau melayu. Kadang2 rasanya kitaorang dalam minioriti, sebab kurang terlibat dalam hal-ehwal dan politik tempatan. Tapi kita sembang je walaupun adanya orang yg xbrapa suka sifat kita.

Kurang terlibat pun, kadang2 rasanya kebanyakan org2 Msia takberapa berpengetahuan pun mengenai kepelbagaian halehwal dalam dan luar negeri.

Entahla, ada siapa di Msia yg pandai? Kurang diketahui

Hidup kita slow saja

1328 : Roger gets married. She's brown. Every Malaysian asshole :

1. Did he convert? 

2. Why?

3. Nevermind la. We don't care about Banglas.

1723 : Tamarind Square : if your business isn't doing well, blame the commercial head who approved the architect's designs. The whole place is designed like a prison, with blindspots and killspaces every few meters. Units are stratified for privacy, which means it's extremely difficult to shunt foot-traffic around.

Can be fixed. A good designer can monkey patch this for you. Hire a good architect to design workflows and renovations."

"Wed 17Sep2025, Sabbatical2 @2.477years ( year3; month30; week129; day904 )

0444 : Just spent an hour cleaning one old vacuum cleaner with another ... I appear to have collected five different types. Clearly my variety of insanity 

0637 : After all, the most amusing thing about contemporary civilisation, is that liquidity provision is glorified as a meaning of life. Fancy that, to have no other contribution to progress in general, than to be oil in a machine that makes new things.

As long as a pleb is happy, so be them.

1307 : Awake again. Perhaps today is for cleaning vacuum cleaners.

1816 : Democracy supports a happy mode. But the ordinary mode is neither admirable nor intrinsically worth preserving. Such is the life of man.

1843 : Break. And turning up the volume on misanthropic posts, since someone is protesting by sending my account to social support services. Lol

1900 : Those who cling to life, do not yet deserve to keep it.

1911 : Forgiveness is like grief, sadness, and anger. It is a person's internal response to external events. The weak person is determined by their environment. The strong person is nonchalant. This is not to say that one is fitter than the other. Strength and weakness of individuals is not reflective of a species as a whole.

2014 : Forgot my work. Undid a parallel regulator to serialise it, then reparallelised it. Added documentation to avoid future mistakes.

2035 : Catching up on the lower priorities in life, past 40. Learning Malay, fixing appliances, studying grammar, having a spot of social life, and post-classical Western music ...

. faure ..

2150 : Haul more shit from car.

Thu 18Sep2025, Sabbatical2 @2.479years ( year3; month30; week129; day905 )

0056 : As of this moment, I've almost entirely consolidated all storage to KL. It's been twelve years of adventuring. I am still working to simplify my life. 

0105 : Time to lift.

0146 : Fed committee has a chance to something really funny

hike it. 

0154 : When you bathe in privilege, routinely, there is a risk of normalising ignorance. So a protocol of acknowlegement, briefly, provides a measure of context, perpetually. 

When the protocol is enacted without knowledge of the absence of privilege, then we talk about it as simulacra

0234 : Regret is for amateurs. 

0525 : Anxieties. Some people get it from abandonment and disappointment. Others get it from physical trauma. Some get it from both. After all, we all go different ways about the universe. 

0528 : Anxieties. Some people get it from abandonment and disappointment. Others get it from physical trauma. Some get it from both. After all, we all go different ways about the universe. 

0533 : Post resistance meal. 

0722 : Hyponatremia again

1409 : sex work controversial on linkedin? 

Unless a woman is raised free of obligations to the species, free from genetic predisposition to hormonal complications under daily living conditions, they are ... essentially born bonded, and do work. I would call it sex work. 

1522 : Two of us have held debt for a friend in need for five years. Despite constant communication, the debtor has not involved us in any communal management of their debt/s. Since the principal sum is largely repaid, I am intending to write off the interest as a bad debt unless it is received by the end of this year. We have a stamped loan agreement between the lenders and the debtor, but it is unlikely we will want to enforce it legally given the circumstances. What do you think? 

1924 : 13km under two hours. I'm probably undertraining. 

2023 : There will be a gradual realisation that what was romantically human is mechanically trivial. It is just part of growing up

2043 : Time to sew

Fri 19Sep2025, Sabbatical2 @2.482years ( year3; month30; week130; day906 )

0012 : An exciting day. Various fixes, and a maintenance run. Dived into past relationship details with a friend. Meditating on paraesthesia from beta alanine for a bit. 

0407 : Quarter seems unproductive. But it is yielding fundamental improvements in feeding paradigms, so on with it. 

Meanwhile, running minutiae. Today, ergonomic time signature was 22/11 and 14/7. Post-run study : need to maximise distance between toe1 and toe2, during push-off. A remarkable concern. 

1856 : Routine software updates. 

2032 : However blessed they are, many are reluctant to recognise that all memories are trivial

Sat 20Sep2025, Sabbatical2 @2.485years ( year3; month30; week130; day907 )

0244 : The pivots in an early stage of relationships where stress tests are applied to determine fragility. 

0258 : Generally when I try to / actually date girls from rich families, I think they are plebs, and they think I'm a scrub. This is a dataset of maybe ... 20-25 years. Usually I don't know they're from rich families - I find out later, after finding them to be cute.

Sun 21Sep2025, Sabbatical2 @2.488years ( year3; month30; week130; day908 )

1500 : 1. The opposite of DARVO is ADAVO

2. It seems more concerning that the notion of the Dark Triad is used with prejudice. These traits should not be interpreted as intrinsically Dark, but rather as tools which can be acquired, used, and systematically defended against. 

https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2025/04/darvo-sociopath-gaslighting/682372/?utm_source=facebook&utm_campaign=the-atlantic&utm_medium=social&utm_content=edit-promo&fbclid=IwVERDUAM8gZFleHRuA2FlbQIxMAABHn5iCKIoEo3S8OkAqm70VZDe4n-6c4TcBd0-AuiUS09mJiKG4Erp6ylWbjHd_aem_2qz_HfsBK3haj42oNpJFIQ

1510 : Kalau nak jawab bila PM Malaysia boleh terjadi sorang bukan Melayu, kita boleh la rujuk kepada pembaris negara lain yg melalui tabiat kekutuban perkauman yang ganas, dan juga negara lain.

- USA : 85 tahun bila tamatnya perang saudara, 233 tahun bila berpresiden kanputeh

- UK : 700+ selepas magna carta, bila dapat PM wanita pertama

Ciri2 inilah kita guna bagi memulakan persoalan, tidak lagi kita cuba berjawab

Mon 22Sep2025, Sabbatical2 @2.490years ( year3; month30; week130; day909 )

0216 : 3 day cleaning blitz through my friends' homes lol

0348 : Hidup LGBTQ, in Malaysia. 

Tadi baru nampak thread lain naikkan persoalan dan maki terhadapnya. Malas nak gaduh panjang2. Ko turun, dia naik, tiap2 pihak kataje apa yg disukai. Nak panjangkan? Jangan maki : bagi dua2 pihak adanya pembentangan awam serata

0356 : Meeting compatible friends is fun. 

Finding out how compatible they are by gradually decreasing bullshit is funner. 

Farewell, all lost connections. Twas fun, and after all, that is the point of dating. 

Big top of funnel, successively halve it at each level down ... 

0435 : What will tomorrow bring? 

- dishes : from salvage 

- paperwork : from bills

- in the mail : aluminium sulphate, and a certain type of condoms

- meditation on next steps in the course of my studies

1409 : Selaluinya aku tak tahu berapa teruk, sebenarnya bahasa melayu saya ... sebab

A) benar2 teruk, iya! 

B) pengutuk tak guna edisi DBP / rujukan rasmi yg sy rujuk

C) aku pulak cuba guna loghat bwichet dll, tanpa rujukan rasmi, tanpa berjaya

D) lesen puitis dah luput

E) terlalu rumitla ungkapan teknikal sy

Kalau dalam B inggeris memang dah C, D, E terjadi masalah harian. Tapi A, B tada. Dalam bhasa type M type C aku kena aku isu A, B la, tercampur lagi

1412 : Time for a walk to get the mail. Flocculants! 

2113 : Enforced lifting. 

2120 : Pencemaran alam, seiras pencemaran hati

Tapi pembentangan hati dilarang, manakala pembentangan alam masih boleh kot

Lmao

2230 : Hidupan seekor manusia haruslah berpelbagaian jihad. Antara segi2 peruntukan portfolio, adalah taburan saiz yang merangkumi pelbagai jihad yg besar dan juga yg kecik. 

Bagi saya, 

Yg besarnya, isu yg dikerjakan : kuantifikasi pengalaman kederiaan, dan pendedahan keremehan manusia pada keseluruhannya

Yg sederhana : tatakelola perbadanan masyarakat, contohnya kerajaan dan syarikat dalam negara Malaysia

Yg kecik : isu2 rakan2 dan jiran2 saya pada hidup ini

Pilihlah anda, kegiatan yg terperinci

Tue 23Sep2025, Sabbatical2 @2.493years ( year3; month30; week130; day910 )

0003 : Tetuan, kau yang sakau tu, ko rasa, lawa tak? 

0200 : 2.493 years, day 910. Review of productivity. Observing nutrition and physical conditioning in particular. 

0212 : Sometimes I wonder, if I drain myself from charitable excess. 

But as I say to friends, from one poor to another, all things are a gamble. 

0544 : Underloaded calories, particularly fat, so got up and made miso soup with vegetables, oil, and rice. 

0628 : Need to spend less time doting on dumb people. It's making it harder to maintain performance quality. 

1427 : Little trades. Bits of data entry. Fan pulses. Synthetic wind"

"Wed 24Sep2025, Sabbatical2 @2.496years ( year3; month30; week130; day911 )

0034 : Given increasing correlation risk between AI companies, I should really be diversifying into anything but

0252 : It's a rare treat to find a bunch of Malays complaining that another bunch of Malays misunderstand the religious status of Malaysia. 

Keep it up. It's less dangerous when you do it. Lol

0338 : Finished building my curtain. Went for a jog. Hadn't eaten enough. Stopped after 3 loops ( target 9 ). Went home to eat.

Thought about how odd it is to live a life uninspired by others. Not totally uninspired, but certainly not drawing inspiration from anyone else on a daily basis. That's why I've always appreciated the lead/ follow/ GTFO heuristic.

I'm the GTFO guy. Meanwhile, though the Ls and Fs seem like idiot children, one has to address them politely to get along.

1452 : A friend was making fun of my emotions. So I reminded them :

Emotions are just a type of physical behaviour 

I don't differentiate between those 🌞

The mainly unusual thing about me is that I kinda have a translation map, so I don't differentiate categorically between 

- machines

- animals 

- humans 

People are just information systems to me

Kinda explains how my view of the world in general is crude lol. I think it rubs people the wrong way, if they cling to a notion of gentility

1852 : Enforced eating before run. Rice, oil, miso, protein powder. 

1930 : Another attempt at running. Yesterday diaphragm was kept loose, today will restudy. 

2207 : Restoration of running form nears completion. Cognitive energy distribution is 90+/-5% to kickback, vs forward recovery. Gravity is maximally utilised in forward recovery, so the foot undergoes a guided fall towards anchor position.

Besides feeding on all macros, and sodium, before today's run, an IG post was a good reminder to anchor kickback on equally across toes 1 and 2. After anchoring, force transfer through each major muscle group was traced until the head, through each kickback. 

Great

2347 : As much fun as friends are, I try my best to quickly identify what they want from a relationship which I cannot provide, so that I know best how to engage with them.

Thu 25Sep2025, Sabbatical2 @2.499years ( year3; month30; week130; day912 )

0019 : Perhaps next : more darning, and some electrical repairs

0235 : Revision of triglyceride to ATP metabolism

Thinking of past friends that shied away

Soon, time to feed, again. Bodies are such a chore

1413 : I was running around town yesterday, in sheer linen pants which I salvaged from some work site. People were giving me funny looks, so I guess it's a bit too transparent, and I should pair these with boxers.

1500 : BTCUSD might consolidate to 102k but should bounce back ... would make sense if it happens towards End Of Month/Quarter in 5 days.

ETHUSD maybe to 3.6k without any cause for concern.

I probably won't adjust any of my positions dramatically. Hm.

1516 : ""alts"" seem to be all playing nice for now.

""alts don't seem to be dropping in terms of ETH""

1744 : In daily life, it is hard to avoid stumbling across one from these types of fools :

- folks who have no concept of how money works

- folks who cannot be happy without money

Fri 26Sep2025, Sabbatical2 @2.501years ( year3; month31; week131; day913 )

1845 : As a natural born Malaysian citizen :

1. Constitutional ethnocracy ( popularly termed ""racism"" ) is my natural habitat. The fact that it disenfranchises me has not been overly inconvenient. I have never been coerced into residency, so it continues as a matter of laziness. 

2. The culture which is caused by ( the above ) is unfortunate, as it has resulted in maldevelopment of national education and the economy in general over the past half century. 

3. As a 40+ yo on a 10y sabbatical, I am indulging myself in the hobby of learning Malay, many dialects of which are non-canonical, and less than ideally documented. 

4. As a practical matter, local society is broadly divided between (A) people who think and argue about (1,2.) daily ... and (B) people who largely ignore the first group. It remains true that political engineering can only occur among A, and that B lives in a bubble. 

5. Personally, I make a decision on whether to roleplay as A or B on an issue by issue basis. The majority of my work over the last 25 years doesn't hinge on the existence or demise of Malaysia, but it remains good to maintain some ties to one's neighbourhood.

- 

Sebagai warganegara asli Malaysia :

 1. Etnokrasi berperlembagaan ( dikenali sbg ""rasisme"" ) adalah habitat semula jadi saya. Hakikat bahawa ia menyahhakkan saya tidak terlalu menyusahkan. Pemastautinan saya adalah tanpa paksaan, jadi ia berterusan sebagai perkara kemalasan. 

 2. Budaya yang berpunca daripada ( di atas ) adalah malang, kerana ia telah mengakibatkan kepincangan pembangunan pendidikan negara dan ekonomi amnya selama setengah abad yang berlangsung sekarang.

 3. Sebagai seorang berumur 40+ thn dalam sabatikal 10 thn, saya memanjakan diri dengan hobi mempelajari bahasa Melayu, banyaknya loghat2 yang tidak berkanun dan kurang diperbahankan secara sempurna. 

 4. Setakat praktik, masyarakat tempatan secara am dibahagikan antara (A) orang yang memikirkan dan bertengkar tentang (1,2.) setiap hari ... dan (B) orang yang kebanyakan masanya mengabaikan kumpulan pertama. Tetap benarlah, bahawa kejuruteraan politik hanya boleh berlaku di kalangan A, dan bahawa B hidup dalam gelembung. 

 5. Secara peribadi, saya membuat keputusan sama ada untuk mewatakkan A atau B berdasarkan isu demi isu. Majoriti kerja saya sepanjang 25 tahun yang lalu tidak bergantung pada kewujudan atau kelayuan Malaysia, tapi tetap baikla untuk mengelolakan pertalian lingkungan kampung seseorang.

Sat 27Sep2025, Sabbatical2 @2.504years ( year3; month31; week131; day914 )

0010 : KL streets are quiet on Friday night. Everyone probably all partied out from midmonth. Lull before Q4 spending 

0100 : I would support introduction of English at secondary school only. With primary school students held back if they failed BM. 

0355 : Finally wheeled out the dead bodies for a final check before disposal. The only thing bugging me is the fact that I am soldering on the dining table. 

0424 : Moving electronics to another work desk. Need to get a flux pen and understand the alternatives. High complexity, moderate reward day. Kick the can along. 

0530 : pointe work. strength training calibration 

1414 : Protocol. Methyl-cobalamin and cold air to sleep. I reckon it's more reparative than a bedfellown in cold air. Maybe, just cold air, seems to make the largest difference. 

These variables are well documented but I haven't quite firmed up my own understanding of the same. 

1510 : Feels good to be up 10% from 67 days ago. I'm not a great money manager, so I have to appreciate the little wins. 

2234 : Surat2 Malaysia terkenal :

1. Warkah kekanda

2. Dear Gina

Sun 28Sep2025, Sabbatical2 @2.507years ( year3; month31; week131; day915 )

0432 : Lazy. Too lazy to drop to the carpark and get my bike and go for a pedal. Maybe it is the uncertain pessimism of markets, or the slothy development of this country, or just a nutritional issue. Well, I should get some sleep in any event. Time to enforce the 5:7 ratio once more. 

0539 : Maybe i spend too much of my life comforting people with inflated inflated egos who get annoyed when others don't take them very seriously, instead of spending my time networking with people who could help me do better work. 

0600 : 0600 down. Target 1600. I'm going to be early, I think. Exertion not very high today. 

1020 : KPN has executed poorly for a few decades. 

They should aim lower, put EN in secondary school, focus MS on primary, and hold back kids who can't pass MS in each year of primary. 

1210 : The 21st century recognised Zionism globally, as evil. But there are greater evils which are commonly ignored. So without lesser criticism of violence against palestinians, we should increase criticism of whataboutism, whenever topics of great evil arise. 

1. Junk food. 

2. Incoherent education. 

3. Single-use plastics. 

4. Etc. 

1624 : Time's up. Get up. Fed mid sleep. But time to feed again. Lots of gear to wash. 

2053 : Iterated housekeeping. How long more shall this go ... 

2237 : End of sixth hour. Two doses of carbs, one protein, and one fat, so far. Chipping away at housekeeping. Coffee. Meditation on efficiency.

Mon 29Sep2025, Sabbatical2 @2.510years ( year3; month31; week131; day916 )

0009 : Hour 7.5

0033 : Personal fiscal review : Q3 is not looking great. CF was considerably more negative due to stock-ins and social OPEX. Basically took a break from verbal studies for two months. On the upside, physical conditioning studies had more improvemsnt. Met a couple of nice people also. 

I figure that making friends while broke is the best time, as generally people tend to be less sure of their acquaintances after they get rich. 

Haha

0115 : Pensive and poor. And undesirous to court any females. So pumping iron. 0114 hours. A quiet time. Oh, and HVAC testing will continue into the sleeping hours. 

0342 : Time for a walk

0441 : A pleasant walk. It's been a good life, albeit uneventful. 

0446 : 12th hour. Early to bed. Administrative meeting with building management later 

0606 : Hour 14. End of day. But up in three. 

1828 : Haircut day. Always tempted to reset to skinhead or a mohawk. But didn't feel it today. Sticking to bedhead

2248 : First day messing around with tennis stuff. Time for lunch.

Tue 30Sep2025, Sabbatical2 @2.512years ( year3; month31; week131; day917 )

0001 : Some relationships are contractually open, but it still boils down to contract adherences. Most relationships survive on either one of two things, (A) mutual contract adherence, or (B) mutual empathy. Pathologically there are varieties of unequal effort, and someone is freeloading ... 

0127 : Hour 13. Early to bed, after being short 3 hours of sleep, last night. Meetings in the morning. New attempt. 

0145 : Why did i pick such a complicated life? well the simple options were not of acceptable quality. so i have regrets? sure, but not in the commonly understood way. 

a simpleton discovers regret as a matter of surprise; the rest of us begin with regrets baked in on day one

0945 : 8th slept hour. Up for meeting 

1747 : 8th hour. Maudlin day. Perhaps slightly overhydrated. Sampling emotional memory and reconfiguring expectations in preparation for a run. Mild weather. 

2011 : ran. Main adjustment today was to attempt to reallocate the same memory space, to each repetition of a circuit, such as each two steps, or one road loop. 

2046 : Minimum daily fat intake of 67g, hmm. 

2101 : At 3.0 MCal/day,

55% e_carbs is 412g, 

30% e_fat is 100g,

15% e_protein is 112g

Not sure I can keep that up. 

At 2.5MCal/day,

55% e_carbs is 343g, 

30% e_fat is 83g,

15% e_protein is 93g

Slightly less intimidating. 

2135 : 2025 Sep. Progressed from counting calories and protein to counting all macros. 

2351 : My life has mostly been whole. I just struggle to expand it without compromises.